Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dr. Jessica Higgins
  • 4.8 (140)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

  1. 2d ago

    ERP 532: Acceptance and Change in Love: How Couples Navigate Conflict and Connection - An Interview with Dr. Shireen Rizvi

    Navigating the ups and downs of relationships can feel like learning a new language without a guidebook. When emotions run high, or misunderstandings arise, it's easy to get stuck in frustration or repeat patterns that don't serve us—or our partners—well. How do you ask for what you need, stay true to yourself, and keep the connection strong, all at the same time? In this episode, the discussion explores practical tools rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that help you strike a balance between self-respect, relationship wellbeing, and getting your needs met. Listeners will discover how to pause and choose more effective responses in moments of conflict, learn key strategies for emotional regulation, and find new ways to approach differences with acceptance and actionable change. Whether you're struggling to communicate a small annoyance or facing recurring arguments, this conversation offers concrete skills to foster growth and resilience in any relationship. Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board-certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Over the past 25 years, Shireen has conducted research and training in DBT. Her new book, Real Skills for Real Life, co-authored with Dr. Jesse Finkelstein, is available now.   Episode Highlights 03:35 Introduction to DBT therapy. 07:55 Learning relationship skills gradually. 10:49 Marcia Linehan's therapy development. 16:07 Embracing acceptance and change. 21:30 Balancing objectives and relationships. 25:33 Balancing priorities in relationships. 29:02 Understanding Emotion Regulation in DBT. 31:29 Understanding emotional dysregulation. 35:08 Managing conflict in relationships. 40:28 Using DBT skills for anxiety. 43:36 Book and resources overview.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Identify Your Objective. Clarify what specific outcome you are hoping to achieve before entering a conversation or making a request. Consider Relationship Impact: Reflect on how you want the other person to feel about you and your relationship after the interaction. Prioritize Self-Respect: Decide how you want to feel about yourself based on how you handle a situation, ensuring you act in line with your values. Pause Before Reacting: When emotions run high, intentionally pause and consider your options before responding or reaching out to your partner. Practice Acceptance and Change: Acknowledge areas where acceptance is needed and where change is possible, aiming for a balanced approach in ongoing issues. Prepare Requests Clearly (DEAR MAN Skill): Formulate clear, specific, and assertive requests using tools like the DEAR MAN acronym to increase the likelihood of your needs being met. Monitor Emotional State: Regularly check in with yourself to assess your emotional regulation, especially before and during difficult interactions. Reflect on Interpersonal Patterns: Periodically review your tendencies in conflict (e.g., always prioritizing the relationship or objective) and adjust to create more balance and effectiveness in your interactions.   Mentioned Real Skills for Real Life (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Real Skills for Real Life (*Guilford Press link) (book) The High-Conflict Couple (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) About Dr. Jesse Finkelstein (TheraHive) Marsha M. Linehan  Gottman Institute Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (Free Guide)   Connect with Dr. Shireen Rizvi Website: shireenrizvi.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/shireen-rizvi-1a5544193 Co-author of the book Real Skills for Real Life: https://www.therahive.com/team/jesse-finkelstein

    46 min

  2. Jun 2

    ERP 531: When Desire Feels Lost: Why It's Not the Problem and What Actually Is — An Interview with Tarisha Tourok

    Desire isn't always as simple as it seems. For many couples, the initial spark of sexual and emotional intimacy can dim over time, replaced by questions, misunderstandings, and the painful sense that something has faded or is "broken." When mismatched desire enters a relationship, it can quickly become a battleground, leaving one or both partners feeling blamed, rejected, or disconnected—not only from each other but from their own bodies and needs. In this episode, listeners are invited to look beneath the surface of desire patterns and rethink how intimacy is cultivated over time. The conversation explores why the "problem" of desire is rarely rooted in one partner and how it is shaped instead by cycles of emotional and physical disconnection, unexamined beliefs, and the need for safety and self-awareness in the body. Listeners will discover tools for moving from blame toward curiosity, collaboration, and deep connection, and learn practical ways to rediscover what turns them on—together. Tarisha Tourok is a trauma-informed sex and relationship therapist and founder of Sexual Empowerment for Women. She helps unlock women's sexual desire and guides them into intimacy that melts their hearts and delights their souls. With 15+ years of experience, Tarisha blends psychotherapy, sacred sexuality, and somatic healing to help women reclaim the power and beauty of their sexuality—so they can live, love, and connect with radiant confidence.   Episode Highlights 06:06 Reframing desire differences. 12:14 The complex factors influencing sexual desire. 16:07 Shifting from spontaneous to responsive desire and reconnecting with your body. 19:39 Exploring how to build responsiveness and address past trauma 22:44 How culture, religion, and body image affect desire. 24:26 Generational influences and healing transgenerational trauma. 27:41 Breaking family cycles to create new patterns. 31:46 Building a stronger relationship with your body and sense of desire. 36:55 Emotional resonance, safety, and shared intimacy practices. 44:33 Cultivating intimacy through personal and relational growth. 49:18 Redefining pleasure: Connection over performance & practical resources.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Adopt a "Team" Mindset: Approach intimacy challenges as a shared experience rather than individual problems, discussing openly how to become partners in exploration. Create Space for Exploration: Remove blame and give both partners space to explore what turns each person on, without feeling pressure or guilt. Practice Vulnerability: Softly communicate underlying fears or insecurities instead of defaulting to frustration or blame, helping both partners connect on a deeper level. Carve Out Time for Intimacy: Intentionally prioritize time together, making room for connection and recognizing the impact of daily busyness on sexual desire. Reconnect with Your Body: Develop practices—such as breathwork, mindful movement, or sensory experiences—that help you feel and respond from within your body. Acknowledge and Address Blocks: Identify and compassionately address personal blocks like trauma, self-judgment, or negative societal messaging before focusing on sexual desire. Share Sexual Blueprints: Take a sexual desire quiz, compare results, and discuss with your partner what environments and practices make you feel most turned on and safe. Redefine Goals for Intimacy: Shift away from performance-oriented goals like orgasm, focusing instead on connection, pleasure, and mutual presence in your intimate experiences.   Mentioned Reclaim Your Sexual Confidence mini-course (free mini-course) Sexual Desire Quiz (quiz) 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Tarisha Tourok Website: sexualempowermentforwomen.com Facebook: facebook.com/groups/theradiantwomenclub YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCvY7loDn-rDRUcUa-z3Lv_A Instagram: instagram.com/tarishatourok

    55 min

  3. May 26

    ERP 530: When Productivity Becomes a Barrier to Intimacy — An Interview with Israa Nasir

    Are you caught in the race to do more, be more, and achieve more—only to find yourself feeling stuck, disconnected, and unfulfilled? In an age where "hustle culture" pushes us to optimize every moment, a quiet crisis is unfolding: our relentless drive for productivity may actually be undermining our emotional wellness and closest relationships. In this episode, listeners are invited to take a closer look at how toxic productivity seeps into our personal lives, from romantic partnerships to friendships, and even the way we relate to ourselves. The conversation dissects the difference between healthy ambition and achievement born from unresolved emotions, explores why "performing" and "optimizing" can stifle genuine connection, and offers actionable steps to shift towards presence, self-compassion, and authenticity. Through relatable stories and research-backed insights, this episode helps listeners recognize these patterns and learn how to reclaim time, creativity, and real intimacy in their lives. Israa Nasir is a psychotherapist and founder of Well.Guide, who has cultivated a dedicated following of over 350,000 across social media for her evidence-based take on mental health and productivity. Israa's debut book, Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More, dives deep into the roots of hustle culture and dismantles the myth that our worth is tied to how much we accomplish. Drawing on therapeutic insights, client stories, and her own experience, Israa helps readers unlearn toxic patterns and adopt a more emotionally sustainable path forward.   Episode Highlights 04:07 Defining toxic productivity. 09:23 A personal journey from achievement chasing to emotional awareness. 13:11 How early experiences shape productivity patterns. 16:50 How optimization culture impacts relationships. 22:56 Restoring connection: Returning to presence and somatic awareness. 27:09 Measuring fulfillment: Moving beyond external checklists. 29:45 Barriers to genuine connection. 31:24 How busyness and parenting impact relationships. 34:34 How reevaluating commitments leads to more intentional choices. 37:57 Rediscovering play and creativity fosters connection.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Conduct a Time and Energy Audit: List out all your commitments from the past three weeks and reflect on which ones made you feel energized versus drained, then evaluate their necessity. Question Unexamined Obligations: Regularly ask yourself if certain routines, events, or roles (like always hosting or planning) are still serving you or are just a habit. Remove One Calendar Item Weekly: Apply the "Chanel rule" by intentionally taking one thing off your weekly schedule to create space for presence and restoration. Reconnect with Body Awareness: Check in with your body throughout the day—notice hunger, sleepiness, or stress cues instead of overriding them for productivity. Prioritize Genuine Connection Over Outcome: In relationships, focus more on the quality of your shared experiences and less on optimizing them for external validation. Cultivate Hobbies Without a Goal: Practice a hobby just for the sake of enjoyment and creativity, not for achievement or performance. Allow for Boredom and Unstructured Time: Create intentional moments for daydreaming, idleness, or simply "being" to spark connection and creativity. Respond to Emotional Needs, Not Just Tasks: In your partnerships, notice patterns rather than isolated actions and bring more grace, flexibility, and emotional presence to everyday interactions.   Mentioned Toxic Productivity: Reclaim Your Time and Emotional Energy in a World That Always Demands More (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids (Gottman Institute) (blog) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Israa Nasir Website: israanasir.com Instagram: instagram.com/well.guide LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/israanasir TikTok: tiktok.com/@well.guide

    45 min

  4. May 19

    ERP 529: Unspoken Relationship Contracts: Why You Feel Resentful and What to Do About It — An Interview with Elizabeth Webb

    Are you stuck in a cycle of giving too much—or never quite feeling your needs are met—in your relationships? So many of us find ourselves trapped in unspoken agreements, repeating old patterns of imbalance, and wondering why our closest connections leave us feeling depleted and resentful. It's all too easy to slip into roles and routines that quietly erode intimacy, joy, and our sense of self. In this episode, listeners will discover the underlying dynamics of these "relationship contracts" and how they silently shape the balance (or imbalance) in our partnerships and friendships. Through insightful discussion, practical examples, and actionable tools, the conversation explores how to raise awareness of hidden patterns, reclaim personal agency, and foster healthier, more reciprocal connections—all while learning to have empowered conversations that turn resentment into collaboration and lasting growth. Elizabeth Webb is The Practical Priestess™ and an expert in positive psychology and human behavior. For over two decades, she's helped top leaders, celebrities, and change-makers break free from life's shackles, make empowered choices, and live a life they're excited to wake up to. Elizabeth brings her signature wisdom and wit to her debut book, Made for Magic.   Episode Highlights 05:56 Spotting the early signs of relationship imbalance. 07:08 Resentment, overgiving, and the dynamics of reciprocity. 11:08 Lovability, self-worth, and patterns of giving and receiving. 16:11 Changing unhelpful contracts: Willingness, ability, and conscious relating. 21:20 Reflecting on past patterns: Awareness and co-creation. 25:59 Clarifying needs vs. preferences in relationship dynamics. 28:54 Strategies for addressing and rewriting unspoken agreements. 35:05 Understanding the root of complaints. 38:00 A roadmap for empowered communication and requests. 40:32 Building collaboration and navigating negotiation in relationships. 45:16 When to untether: Facing unmet needs and setting boundaries.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Reflect on your current or past relationships to notice any recurring patterns where you feel depleted or resentful due to an imbalance in giving and receiving. Ask yourself if your concern is a fundamental need or simply a preference before addressing it with your partner. Acknowledge the ways you have participated or co-created the current dynamic before approaching the other person. Choose a time when both parties are calm and receptive to discuss the issue, beginning by seeking consent for the conversation. Use neutral language to share your observations and feelings about the dynamic and avoid accusatory statements. Articulate exactly what you would like to change and how you would like it to look, so your partner understands what you need. Invite your partner to share their perspective or any adjustments they'd need to fulfill the new agreement, fostering a sense of co-creation. Observe whether your partner is both willing and able to make the necessary changes; if not, consider what choices and boundaries may be needed for your well-being.   Mentioned Made for Magic (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Alison Armstrong ERP 056: Secrets To Sex Even When No One Is In The Mood With Alison Armstrong Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Elizabeth Webb Website: PositivelyElizabeth.com Instagram: instagram.com/positivelyelizabeth

    52 min

  5. May 12

    ERP 528: Love as a Practice: How Virtues Help Couples Stay Connected and Aligned - An Interview with Susanne Alexander

    What if the key to lasting love wasn't just about finding the right person, but about growing the right partnership? Too often, couples step into long-term relationships without the relational tools, shared vision, or understanding of virtues that make for true unity. Instead of connection, misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts take root—leaving even the most committed couples wondering how to sustain harmony and joy in the face of life's everyday challenges. In this episode, listeners are guided through a practical roadmap for cultivating deeper unity within their relationships. Drawing on decades of experience and research, the conversation unpacks how virtues like respect, kindness, and flexibility serve as foundational elements to thriving partnerships. Listeners will hear about the stages of relational growth, learn tangible practices for resolving differences, and discover how to create a shared language and vision that brings them closer—not only to each other, but to a happier, more resilient family life. Susanne M. Alexander is a relationship and marriage educator and coach with her company, Marriage Transformation. She is certified to offer couples assessments and coaching through Prepare-Enrich® and for individuals with the Character Foundations Assessment™. Susanne has written/co-written over 30 books, including the most recent "Growing Our Unity: 19 Vital Practices for a Thriving Relationship". Susanne is co-lead on Accordia Way, a project that assists couples with excellent communication and decision-making skills.   Episode Highlights 04:05 The Importance of character and virtues in relationships. 08:27 Developing and sustaining virtues: Tools, assessments, and early influences. 12:16 Virtues Project origins and the concept of unity as a relationship virtue. 15:33 Practicing unity without losing individuality. 17:54 The process of reaching unified decisions in relationships. 20:50 Navigating individualism and control dynamics in partnerships. 23:31 Balancing autonomy, collaboration, and flexibility. 27:49 The impact of unity on family, children, and community. 29:52 The 19 vital practices and applying virtues in everyday life. 35:11 Restoring connection and humor under relationship stress. 38:15 Consultation process: Detaching ego and co-creating solutions. 41:24 Symbolism in relationships and making unity a daily practice.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Schedule regular times to discuss important topics as a couple, allowing the conversation to flow naturally rather than treating it like a formal meeting. Identify and openly share your individual strengths and growth areas in relational virtues such as kindness, patience, and responsibility. Observe and assess your partner's demonstration of key virtues in various situations to gauge character compatibility and growth potential. Work on developing one or two virtues at a time rather than overwhelming yourselves with too many at once; focus on practical application each month. Prioritize unity during decision-making processes by listening to each partner's perspective and postponing decisions if mutual agreement isn't reached. Incorporate rituals or symbols (like a decorative bowl during conversations) to facilitate ego detachment and emphasize shared goals. Reflect as a couple on the integrity and unity of your relationship before individually committing to new community or family obligations. Participate in couples' groups or study circles to learn from and support each other in practicing relational virtues and building unity.   Mentioned Growing Our Unity (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Marriage Can Be Forever - Preparation Counts! (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Accordia Way Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love (Free guide)   Connect with Susanne Alexander Website: marriagetransformation.com Facebook: facebook.com/MarriageTransformation YouTube: youtube.com/user/SusanneMAlexander Instagram: instagram.com/coachsusannealexander LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/marriage-transformation

    49 min

  6. May 5

    ERP 527: How Unconscious Patterns Shape Communication and Why We Miss Each Other — An Interview with Julie Nise

    Repeating the same old arguments with no satisfying conclusion? It's a frustrating cycle—misunderstandings compound, resentment simmers, and the sense of connection begins to fade. Many couples find themselves stuck in patterns where efforts to communicate and show love seem to miss the mark, leaving both partners feeling unheard and unfulfilled. In this episode, listeners will uncover why these recurring disconnects happen and what can be done to break free from them. Through exploring the hidden influence of sensory preferences in communication and love, and sharing actionable techniques for resolving differences, this conversation offers new ways to shift out of gridlock and into genuine connection. From fostering loving curiosity to practical steps for improving empathy and understanding, you'll find guidance to move past frustrating dead ends and cultivate a more attentive and harmonious relationship. Julie Nise is a Relationship Trainer and Communication Strategist with a direct, results-driven approach. With over two decades of corporate, entrepreneurial, and clinical experience, she has guided thousands through challenges in communication, trust, and leadership. Her clear, practical strategies have earned national recognition, including appearances on the Dr. Phil Show and commentary on NewsRadio KTRH Houston. Outside her work, she enjoys coastal living, family time, and helping others grow with purpose.   Episode Highlights 05:12 How auditory and visual people perceive love differently. 09:25 Predictable steps in both escalating and resolving arguments. 12:36 Finding common ground in preferences. 13:44 The importance of curiosity in communication. 20:17 How rethinking your delivery can transform your relationships. 23:35 Understanding communication challenges. 29:38 How men and women generally express caregiving and love. 33:13 Prioritizing relationships through actions. 36:32 Understanding unhelpful habits origins. 42:57 How acting confident in a new social setting can actually boost your confidence, while staying anxious or reserved tends to leave you feeling the same. 44:47 The Satir model explained.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Identify your sensory preference: Notice whether you primarily communicate and feel loved through visuals, sounds, or touch to better understand your relational needs. Observe your partner's style: Pay close attention to your partner's actions and language to discern their sensory preference for a more effective connection. Ask directly for what you need: Clearly articulate your needs and preferences to your partner rather than expecting them to guess. Use loving curiosity: When facing differences, express curiosity about your partner's viewpoint by asking, "Can you help me understand why you feel that way?" Move quickly to solutions: After establishing there is a difference of opinion, skip defending your side and collaboratively brainstorm potential solutions. Time your communication well: "Read the room" and only attempt important conversations or affectionate gestures when your partner is receptive. Check how your message lands: Take responsibility for making sure your communication is received as intended by observing your partner's response and adjusting as needed. Practice method acting in tough moments: Even if you're not "feeling it," act as if you are loving and confident during important conversations, allowing genuine feelings to follow your behavior.   Mentioned 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Julie Nise Website: outcomesonly.com Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572479851741 Instagram: instagram.com/outcomesonly YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCQeCl6u0OQKGOLq5DpgRuuQ TikTok: tiktok.com/@outcomesonl

    47 min

  7. Apr 28

    ERP 526: Why Speaking up Deepens Love, Even When It Feels like Conflict — An Interview with Tonya Lester

    Are you tired of feeling like you have to choose between keeping the peace and being true to yourself in your relationships? Many people mistake silence for harmony, stuffing down their true feelings for fear of conflict, only to wake up one day feeling unheard, unseen, and disconnected. But what if speaking up—being honest about your needs and setting boundaries—was actually the path to deeper connection and intimacy, not the source of division? In this episode, listeners are invited to rethink what it means to be authentic in close relationships, especially when it comes to sharing hard truths or setting limits. You'll hear insights on why self-assertion is not about ruining relationships, but about bringing your whole self into them. By exploring practical strategies, emotional tools, and real-life examples, this conversation guides you in overcoming the fear of rocking the boat—so you can communicate courageously and build relationships where both people feel truly known and valued. Tonya Lester, LCSW, is the author of Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself. A Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and writer known for her work with relationships and communication, her essay "Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself" was published in the Modern Love column in The New York Times, and she has been writing the popular Staying Sane Inside Insanity blog for Psychology Today since 2020. She has been featured as an expert in The Guardian, Newsweek, Well+Good, HuffPost, Fatherly, and the Bumble site, The Buzz.   Episode Highlights 04:03 The link between speaking up, emotional intimacy, and common gendered roles. 07:18 Navigating differences: collaboration, needs, and the relationship as a system. 12:40 Embracing discomfort and staying present with unresolved issues. 13:53 The importance of vulnerability and framing difficult conversations safely. 17:02 Applying healthy pressure: strengthening or releasing relationships. 19:56 Recognizing the "shock absorber" role and its impact on self and intimacy. 23:10 Identifying "shock magnets": escalation, withdrawal, and unhealthy conflict cycles. 27:29 Communicating effectively with kindness. 30:38 Defining self-possession and its role in relational health. 32:49 Using internal signals and "weathervane" emotions for personal growth. 38:11 Building emotional maturity: self-compassion, timeouts, and ongoing practice. 40:38 Understanding and managing emotional activation. 42:42 Addressing hidden relationship dynamics and the importance of modeling boundaries. 48:21 Exploring possibilities: challenging feelings of being trapped and opening to choice. 51:41 Putting clarity into practice: actionable tools and lasting relationship change.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Practice Soft Startups: Begin hard conversations with vulnerability and clarity about your intentions rather than leading with anger or accusation to lower defensiveness in your partner. Name Your Emotions: Before raising a difficult topic, identify and share your underlying emotions, such as fear, anxiety, or longing, to increase openness. Set Boundaries with Clarity: Clearly state what is not working for you in the relationship and propose specific changes, avoiding blame or generalizations. Tolerate Unresolved Issues: Accept that not every problem will have an immediate solution and practice tolerating the discomfort of ongoing, in-process conversations. Take Breaks When Activated: When conflict escalates, or emotions run high, pause the conversation and use activities like taking a walk or shower to regulate your nervous system before returning. Use "I" Statements: Use concise, direct language to express your needs and feelings without attacking or criticizing your partner. Reflect on the System: Regularly assess if both partners are contributing to the emotional work and call out patterns where efforts are imbalanced. Model Self-Possession: Take responsibility for your own happiness and choices, setting an example for both yourself and others—including children—about how to live in alignment with your values.   Mentioned Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) About Tonya Lester (Psychology Today) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (Free guide) How Being "Difficult" Can Assist Growth & Development In Relationship (ERP 360)   Connect with Tonya Lester Website: tonyalester.com Facebook: facebook.com/tlynnlester/ Instagram: instagram.com/tonyalesterpsychotherapy LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tonya-lester-b9a3ab14 TikTok: tiktok.com/@tonyalesterlcsw

    54 min

  8. Apr 21

    ERP 525: Why 'Right and Wrong' Thinking Is Hurting Your Relationship—and What to Do Instead — An Interview with Anna Sterk

    Ever found yourself stuck in an argument, desperately clinging to being "right," only to realize it's pushing you further from the person you love? So many of us fall into this silent trap—believing that our idea of respect, kindness, or connection is universal, only to watch as those assumptions breed tension, misunderstanding, and emotional distance in our relationships. In this episode, listeners are invited to challenge these rigid notions of right and wrong that quietly erode intimacy. By exploring the difference between complaints and vulnerable requests, unpacking the dangers of labeling and moral certainty, and learning practical approaches for negotiating needs, the conversation uncovers what it really takes to foster lasting understanding and resilient connection. Get ready to rethink the very foundations of how you communicate and repair with the people who matter most. Anna Sterk is a senior RLT therapist and a member of the RLI Faculty. Her clinical career has been focused on systems and relationships from the beginning. She began training in Relational Life Therapy in earnest in 2012, became a certified Relational Life Bootcamp Facilitator in 2020, and joined the Faculty of the Relational Life Institute in 2022. This role has allowed her to teach other therapists and coaches while continuing to spread the RLT message of relationality.   Episode Highlights 04:01 Exploring subjectivity in relationship concepts. 07:57 The pitfalls of morality, rightness, and labeling in intimacy. 12:27 Vulnerability in requests versus complaints. 14:44 Getting specific: Turning desires into clear requests. 17:51 Curiosity, listening, and creating shared understanding. 22:05 Personal stories: Differing definitions of connection and cherishing. 24:05 Navigating disconnection: The role of pain and realistic expectations. 28:36 The one-up/one-down dynamic and its impact on relationships. 31:11 Cultivating accountability, ownership, and accepting limitations. 34:08 Relational grieving as a pathway to joy and acceptance. 37:42 Moving beyond othering and embracing interconnectedness. 41:36 Developing relationship skills and accessing support resources.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Take time to specifically identify what you genuinely want from your partner, rather than settling for broad complaints or vague wishes. Shift from criticizing to making a clear, vulnerable request, even if it feels risky to do so. Openly discuss with your partner what concepts like "respect," "closeness," or "connection" mean to each of you to uncover differences in expectations. Actively listen to your partner with curiosity, aiming to understand their unique perspective instead of preparing your rebuttal. Recognize that pain, misunderstanding, and moments of discord are a normal part of relationships and do not always signal that something is wrong. Release the urge to insist on having the right answer or moral high ground, allowing for both perspectives to coexist. Grieve the reality that you may not get everything you want from your partner, and focus on appreciating what you do receive. Show curiosity toward your partner's reality and model personal responsibility by expressing your needs without blaming or shaming.   Mentioned Relational Life Institute Therapist/Practitioner Finder Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (free guide)   Connect with Anna Sterk Websites: annasterk.com | relationship-work.com Instagram: instagram.com/relationalmft

    47 min
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4.8
out of 5
140 Ratings

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The Empowered Relationship Podcast helps you turn relationship challenges into opportunities and sets you up for relationship success, satisfaction, and intimacy. This podcast is designed to inspire, motivate, and guide individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.

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