On Today’s Show: The Bisque Sink Butterbell: Tim’s “forced” kitchen reno continues as Lord Douche turns a simple sink purchase into a weeks-long nightmare. Composite vs. stainless, bisque vs. biscuit, overmount vs. undermount, 50/50 vs. 70/30 splits, “workspace” sinks you’ll never use, and why Tim is destined to buy and return five different basins. Pastor Manning’s Mayoral Meltdown: Pastor Manning spectacularly fails in his New York City mayoral bid and decides the real winner is…the “LGBTQ tranny party.” He blames bisexuals, trannies, gays, queers, and basically everyone who didn’t vote for him, declares most of NYC sexually degenerate, and fantasizes about setting queers on fire. Tim imagines the “Mohammed boys” vs. the “Dreidel Kings” as rival gangs and suggests Manning thinks half of New York is gay just to explain his own epic flop. Nick Fuentes: Tranny-Adjacent Incel Logic: A side rant about Nick Fuentes insisting it’s gay to date women, his hatred of women talking, and why Tim thinks Nick might actually thrive with a “woman with a c**k.” Tim considers putting on a dress and letting Nick blow him “just once.” Murderer Baby-Talk Hell Calls: The case of Thomas “Din” Bowman, convicted of a thrill kill, whose prison phone calls with wife Jennifer are the cringiest thing Tim’s ever played. “Bunny bunny,” “snuggle cakes,” “bunsy-wunsy,” kissy noises, and baby talk so nauseating it should’ve guaranteed a guilty verdict all by itself. Chris Hansen Still Serving Justice: A new predator sting from True Blue: a 39-year-old married “drummer” who insists he’s just looking for “a friend” while trying to bareback a 15-year-old sex worker. Endless “is this a trap?” hedging Asking for nudes while pretending to be cautious Demanding assurances she’s “not law enforcement” Chris reading back lines like “sloppy toppy,” “cum-filled,” and “bareback” while the guy plays dumb and claims it was “for his wife.” Tim delights in uncensored Chris Hansen saying filthy phrases with full Dateline gravitas. Weaponized Urination: The French HR Creep: A senior French culture ministry official allegedly drugs over 200 women with a strong diuretic during job interviews, then forces desperate, humiliating “walks” far from bathrooms. Secret “Experiments” spreadsheet, photos of legs, women pissing themselves near tunnels and in cafés, and years of trauma so this guy can get off on other people’s bladder failure. OnlyFans Pee Goblin “Kinky Kelly”: New Hampshire content creator “Kinky Kelly” (RIP OnlyFans account) admits to a multi-year piss spree: Urinating on bulk foods at a co-op (including raw walnuts and organic quinoa) Peeing on hotel blankets, curtains, A/C units, and dropping an upper decker in a toilet tank Spraying a Bible for good measure She gets six months in jail, restitution bills, a ban from the businesses, and a mandatory relationship with a therapist. Voicemails from the Freaks: Listener sends an AI-ish gif of a dog blowing a dude and wonders if the 4 Hairy C**t line takes gifs (yes… and Tim’s already received jerk-off videos and butthole pics). A nun pregnancy joke courtesy of altar boy fart science. Clarifying that the Tourette’s girl from “Teenage Tourette’s Camp” was shrieking “BAGS!” not “fags,” making it somehow even funnier. A very drunk listener professes loyalty to Tim, trashes unicorn hamsters, and talks about discovering DV via Brad Carter / Phone Losers of America. Plus: sponsor-an-episode plugs, Patreon and lifetime upgrade shilling, and Tim once again reminding you that supporting DV is way less humiliating than peeing yourself in a French job interview.
