Calm AF

Kristen Finch

Calm AF is a podcast for high performers who have it together on the outside but feel like their brain never shuts up on the inside. You're capable, trusted, and high-functioning—yet somehow stuck overthinking decisions, replaying conversations, and carrying way more mental weight than you should have to. Hosted by Kristen Finch, this podcast names what's *actually* going on beneath the surface and helps you get back to your own confidence. You don't need to work on yourself. You just need real conversations that help the inside finally match what everyone else already sees on the outside.

  1. 18H AGO

    Getting to the Root of Chronic Dysregulation: Why Everything Feels So Hard

    **THE AUDIO HAS BEEN UPDATED** Your nervous system is like an emergency dispatcher who's been on duty for five years straight. She's stopped filtering real emergencies from imaginary ones and now she's just patching every trigger through as a massive, all hands on deck emergency.  And instead of doing the right thing and giving her some TRUE time off, you just keep giving her more energy drinks and telling her to take 5. You aren't solving the problem, you're trying to fix the symptoms.   This is what chronic dysregulation does. It's not just creating anxiety and hypervigilance...it's seeping into every area of your body and life...affecting your sleep, your digestion, your happiness, your immune system, your relationships and your ability to level up.  There's a big difference between being a regulated person who sometimes slips into dysregulation and being a person who is chronically dysregulated. If you keep treating the symptoms you will stay chronically dysregulated.  Calm AF Life is reopening soon. You can sign up to get early bird information here. Get the free 7 Daily Reminders love letters.  MORE WAYS TO WORK WITH ME: Calibration call:  This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here. Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.  Love Letters: Change takes consistency. If you'd love a gentle nudge each day to stay on track while you're creating new patterns, grab my Daily Love Letters

    22 min
  2. FEB 4

    Why Trying to Stop Overthinking Makes You Overthink More (And What Actually Works)

    Get the Daily Reminders private podcast How much time did you spend this week analyzing why you do the things you do? Reading about attachment styles, scrolling Instagram therapists, listening to podcasts about nervous system regulation, journaling about why you can't stop overthinking? Now—how much time did you spend actually not overthinking? Yeah. Here's the thing nobody tells you: All that analysis? All that learning? All that trying to stop? That's not the new pathway. That's the old one. You're standing on the old road—the one with all the potholes—staring at the potholes, trying to understand the potholes, researching how potholes form. And you think you're building a new road. But you're not. You're just making the old road more familiar. I recorded a whole episode about this because I keep seeing the smartest, most self-aware people (my people—energy managers like you) trying themselves into the GROUND. Trying to stop overthinking. Trying to set boundaries. Trying to not be so hard on themselves. The trying IS the problem. In this week's episode, I explain: Why 80% of your time is spent hardwiring what you don't want (and you don't even realize it) The spray bottle metaphor that'll make you go "oh shit" What it actually looks like to get on the new pathway (real client story that'll probably make you cry a little) How to flip the ratio so you're spending 80% of your time being calm AF instead of trying to be Calm AF Life: Regulated is coming soon. This is where you will shift the identity from knowing how to regulated to REGULATED.  In the meantime, get the Daily Reminders private podcast that you can listen to on repeat that will recalibrate your nervous system (not just add to your tool collection). Get support Calibration call:  This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here. Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.  Love letters: You need daily reminders if you want to shift your identity. I've got you. All you have to do is open the email and read. Sign up for Daily Love Letters

    22 min
  3. JAN 28

    You're Doing It Wrong: Why Your Anxiety Tools Aren't Making You Calm (And What Actually Does)

    7 Reminders Private Podcast   You know what to do. You've read the books, listened to the podcasts, practiced the breathwork. You know your attachment style, you've done the inner child work, you can meditate when you remember to. So why aren't you calm yet? In this episode, I'm telling you the hard truth about why all those tools you've collected aren't working—and it's not because you haven't found the right one yet. This episode will sting a little. But if you're exhausted from working so hard to feel inner peace and it never seems to stick, this is the wake-up call you need. What You'll Learn: Why having all the anxiety tools doesn't make you regulated (just like cookbooks don't make you a chef) The real reason you're still anxious even though you know what to do The identity shift from "high-functioning anxious person" to "regulated person" Real examples of what this transformation looks like over time (from my Calm AF Life members) How to stop wasting time, money, and energy on tools that only work in crisis moments The difference between knowing how to regulate your nervous system and being regulated   Calm AF Life: Regulated is coming soon. This is where you will shift the identity from knowing how to regulated to REGULATED.  In the meantime, get the 7 Reminders private podcast that you can listen to on repeat that will recalibrate your nervous system (not just add to your tool collection). Get support Calibration call:  This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here. Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.  Love letters: You need daily reminders if you want to shift your identity. I've got you. All you have to do is open the email and read. Sign up for Daily Love Letters

    19 min
  4. JAN 21

    Conflict Avoidant? Walking on Eggshells? You Might Be an Energy Manager.

    Change takes consistency. If you'd love a gentle nudge each day to stay on track while you're creating new patterns, grab my Daily Love Letters   In this episode, we're revisiting one of the most resonant topics here at Calm AF: The Energy Manager. If you're the calm, capable one everyone relies on...you can read a room, smooth over tension, and keep everyone's emotions balanced with one hand behind your back, but YOU are slowly losing your light..this is for you. We're gonna break down how being "fine" on the outside while managing everyone else's emotional temperature isn't emotional intelligence, it's a survival pattern. And it's exhausting. We talk about what it looks like and what actually changes when you stop energy managing...where  you feel the microshift in the room and instead of running toward it, you sit there. You let it be uncomfortable. You let THEM be uncomfortable. And eventually, your body learns that the firehose won't kill you. Over the next couple months, we're diving deep into Energy Manager recovery. Subscribe so you don't miss a single episode because this pattern doesn't just go away on its own (unless everyone in your life suddenly becomes perfectly chill forever, which... sure, Jan). Get support Calibration call:  This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here. Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.  Love letters: You need daily reminders if you want to shift your identity. I've got you. All you have to do is open the email and read. Sign up for Daily Love Letters

    17 min
  5. 12/31/2025

    Identity Shifting: The Most Important Step (That You Probably Skip)

    Get the full Future Self Course for $26 As we close out 2025, this episode is an invitation to pause before you plan. If the year felt beautiful—amazing. And if it felt heavy, disorienting, or unfinished—you're not alone. Instead of starting the new year with goals, strategies, or fixing yourself, this episode begins where real change actually starts: identity. In this episode, I'm sharing Step One from my Future Self Course: Dream Big. Not as a vision board exercise. Not as wishful thinking. And not as a plan. But as a necessary first step in identity creation. Inside this lesson, we explore: Why starting with how keeps you stuck in your old identity How "being realistic" often means shrinking your desires before you begin Why getting your hopes up is not irresponsible—it's clarifying How dreaming big gives direction before you ever need a strategy This lesson is about permission. Permission to want what you want. Permission to imagine without editing. Permission to let the next version of you come into focus. Want the Full Future Self Experience? This episode is one lesson from the full Future Self Course, and to celebrate 2026, you can get the entire experience for $26. You'll receive: The complete Future Self course A private podcast version you can listen to anytime The accompanying workbook to integrate the work Learn more and get instant access at calmAF.com. Let this be the year you stop shrinking what you want—and start becoming who you already know you're here to be.

    18 min
4.8
out of 5
150 Ratings

About

Calm AF is a podcast for high performers who have it together on the outside but feel like their brain never shuts up on the inside. You're capable, trusted, and high-functioning—yet somehow stuck overthinking decisions, replaying conversations, and carrying way more mental weight than you should have to. Hosted by Kristen Finch, this podcast names what's *actually* going on beneath the surface and helps you get back to your own confidence. You don't need to work on yourself. You just need real conversations that help the inside finally match what everyone else already sees on the outside.

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