Confident Sober Women

Shelby
  • 4.8 (33)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED MONTHLY

Join Shelby John, sober since July 1, 2002, for empowering conversations on the Confident Sober Women podcast with women who've found joy and confidence in their alcohol and drug-free lives. This show is a rally cry for empathetic, resilient, and wisdom-seeking women dedicated to building a life you don't want to escape from after that crucial first year of a sober lifestyle. Discover how to: ·        Build unshakable confidence in your sober life ·        Break free from societal drinking norms ·        Overcome the shame cycle and emotional numbing ·        Resist the glamorized, over-hyped social influences around alcohol ·        Create a pure and joyful life beyond recovery Hear inspiring stories and practical advice on: ·        Healing trauma ·        Mindful parenting in recovery ·        Optimizing physical and mental health ·        Building a new, empowered identity ·        Transforming your life beyond substance abuse recovery We dive deep into questions like "Who am I now?" and "How do I pursue my heart's desires?", taking the intimidation out of sobriety and showcasing how to thrive in long-term recovery. This is truly a space for women supporting women in this modern recovery era. New episodes every Tuesday. Subscribe now for weekly inspiration on your journey to becoming one of the happiest sober women, free from the cool crowd's pressure to drink. Please leave a review if you love the show, it helps us on the mission to make the Confident Sober Women community a household name.

  1. Turning Trauma into Transformation: Renae Van Roekel’s Journey from Prison to Purpose

    OCT 30

    Turning Trauma into Transformation: Renae Van Roekel’s Journey from Prison to Purpose

    Today, I sit down with Renae Van Roekel, founder of Connecting to Cope, to explore the journey from childhood trauma and people-pleasing to accountability, healing, and helping others. If you’ve ever felt stuck under shame, guilt, or perfectionism, you’re not alone. What You’ll Learn  How early trauma and being told “you’re bad” became Renae’s internal narrative The cost of people-pleasing addiction, perfectionism, and hiding shameHer pivotal moment: why she chose to turn herself in rather than stay silentWhat happens when unhealed trauma collides with family, career, and relationship demandsTools she uses now to rewrite her brain: EMDR therapy, Rational Evaluations, journaling, self-care routinesHow negative thinking patterns show up & how to rewrite them with new core beliefsRebuilding difficult family relationships, and how honesty, patience & courage can mend the pastSpotlight on Tools & Modalities EMDR therapy – how it helped Renae release trauma beyond talk therapy and regain mental focusRational Evaluations (RSA) & cognitive-behavioral work she learned in prison’s RDAP programDaily practices: journaling, self-check-ins, inner dialogue shifts, patience with selfVisit her at www.connectingtocope.com https://www.facebook.com/connectingtocope/ https://www.instagram.com/connectingtocope/ If you've struggled with addiction, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or inherited shame, Renae’s story shows you can transform your life by facing truth, doing the healing work, and choosing purpose. You can reclaim your identity, your integrity, and your power to choose. Ready to do the next work on healing your past & reclaiming your voice? Learn more at www.wholisticlivingtherapy.com Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    46 min
  2. From Functional Alcoholism to $100M Business Owner: Meg Gluth's Sober Success Story

    OCT 14

    From Functional Alcoholism to $100M Business Owner: Meg Gluth's Sober Success Story

    Join host Shelby John as she sits down with Meg Gluth, a confident sober woman, successful business owner, and advocate for long-term recovery. In this inspiring episode, Meg shares her transformative journey from struggling with alcohol as a coping mechanism to building a thriving life rooted in sobriety, purpose, and authentic living. Episode Highlights: Meg discusses her recovery story, from her Midwest upbringing and challenges with early sobriety to finding her path through AA and personal growth work. She opens up about losing her first wife to cancer while in law school and how functional alcoholism masked deeper pain for years. Learn about the four essential pillars Meg built in her first five years of sobriety: building community through sober social activities, establishing spiritual practices like yoga and meditation, working with a therapist on emotional baggage, and prioritizing physical health through exercise and mindful consumption. Meg shares practical strategies for maintaining confidence and emotional sobriety, including the power of personal accountability, keeping promises to yourself, and understanding that small, consistent habits create lasting transformation. She emphasizes humility as central to her approach, recognizing that your best thinking got you into trouble, and that there's always more to learn. About Meg Gluth: Meg is the owner and operator of a manufacturing company headquartered in Seattle with locations nationwide. Her business does approximately $100 million in annual revenue, supplying raw materials and components to industries ranging from home improvement to oil and gas. Meg is also a yoga instructor and passionate advocate for women in recovery. Connect with Meg: Visit www.megangluth.com for more information. Resources Mentioned: Laura McKowan's "We Are the Luckiest," personal therapy, yoga practice, AA fellowships, and remote neurofeedback therapy for anxiety and sleep support. Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    54 min
  3. Navigating Life's Transitions: 5 Essential Tools for Recovery

    SEP 4

    Navigating Life's Transitions: 5 Essential Tools for Recovery

    Join host Shelby John as she shares powerful strategies for navigating transition times in sobriety. Whether you're dealing with back-to-school stress, seasonal changes, or major life shifts, this episode provides actionable tools to help you thrive instead of just survive. What You'll Learn: 5 Essential Transition Tools for Women in Recovery:  Transition Rituals - How to intentionally mark changes and set intentions The STOP Technique - A proven method to rewire your brain's stress response Support Check-ins - Building proactive connection points before you're struggling Energy Audits - Protecting your energy during overwhelming times Nervous System Reset - Revolutionary approach using remote neurofeedback therapyKey Topics Covered: Why transitions trigger women in recovery more intenselyHow substance use rewires our brain's response to uncertaintyCreating new neural pathways for conscious choice vs reactive behaviorBack-to-basics approach during high-stress periodsRemote neurofeedback therapy as brain training for regulationFeatured Resource: Learn about Shelby's remote neurofeedback therapy program - a non-invasive, at-home brain training solution that helps retrain your nervous system's response to stress, anxiety, and triggers. Perfect for women ready to take their recovery to the next level. Shelby's Website: www.shelbyjohn.com  Free Consultation: Available for remote neurofeedback therapy. Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    18 min
  4. From Suicidal to 27 Years Sober: The Brutal Truth About What Really Works in Recovery

    AUG 12

    From Suicidal to 27 Years Sober: The Brutal Truth About What Really Works in Recovery

    In this episode of the Confident Sober Women Podcast, host Shelby sits down with Emily Sayre Smith, author of "Smartass Memoir of a Mouthy Girl," for an honest conversation about hitting rock bottom and finding redemption through sobriety. The Breaking Point That Changed Everything Emily shares the moment that saved her life, sitting on her bedroom floor in West Hollywood at 42, with a gun in her mouth. What happened next was a spiritual awakening that would transform her entire existence: "If I don't kill myself, anything is possible." This realization led her to her first AA meeting. Why Traditional Recovery Works (Even When You Fight It) From classical ballerina to gym owner to construction manager to published author, Emily's career path has been anything but linear. But it's her 27-year sobriety journey that reveals the real transformation. She discusses: Fighting the concept of powerlessness as a "Type A, go-getter"Finding God in rooms full of other recovering addictsThe slow burn of emotional growth and why "peeling the onion" takes decadesSurviving major life upheavals sober, including divorce after 22 yearsThe Truth About Long-Term Sobriety This isn't your typical "pink cloud" recovery story. Emily and Shelby dive deep into the reality that recovery work never truly ends. Even with decades of sobriety, life can still knock you down - but the tools you develop make all the difference. Key takeaways from this episode: Why hitting your personal "bottom" is often necessary for lasting changeHow community and connection become lifelines in recoveryThe importance of continuing to tell your truthWhy self-love isn't just a buzzword, it's the foundation of healthy relationshipsEmily's recent divorce led to another suicidal crisis, but this time she chose treatment over alcohol. Her journey to self-discovery at 65 offers hope for anyone struggling with codependency and the need for external validation. Resources Mentioned Emily's book: "Smartass Memoir of a Mouthy Girl" (available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble)Connect with Emily on Facebook: Emily Sayre-SmithAA meetings and 12-stepSupport the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    51 min
  5. Get Unstuck: Brain Training For Healing After Sobriety

    AUG 6

    Get Unstuck: Brain Training For Healing After Sobriety

    You’ve been sober for a while now, maybe a year, maybe several, but emotionally, mentally, even physically, you still don’t quite feel like yourself. You’ve done the therapy. You’ve worked the steps. You know all the tools. And yet…   You still feel anxious or overwhelmed   You can’t sleep or wake up exhausted   You overthink everything or spiral into negative thought loops   You wonder why you’re sober but still don’t feel freeIf that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. In today’s solo episode of the Confident Sober Women podcast, I’m diving into why your brain can still feel stuck—even years into recovery—and what you can do about it. As a licensed therapist specializing in trauma and addiction, and a woman with over 20 years in sobriety myself, I’ve seen this pattern again and again in the women I work with. Here’s the truth: Emotional sobriety requires brain-based healing. We talk about:  🔹 What’s really going on in your brain and nervous system after long-term substance use  🔹 Why talk therapy isn’t always enough to heal trauma or negative patterns  🔹 How unresolved brain imprints from stress, trauma, and addiction affect you years later  🔹 Why you might still struggle with anxiety, low mood, poor sleep, or reactivity I also introduce a powerful tool I use in my practice, remote neurofeedback, that helps retrain the brain to function in healthier, more balanced ways. Neurofeedback is a practical, science-backed, non-invasive solution that works from the comfort of your own home. It supports healing from the inside out, especially for sober women struggling with: 💡 Persistent anxiety or perfectionism 💤 Sleep and focus issues 💔 Emotional reactivity or burnout 💪 High-functioning but still not feeling well Plus, I share 3 things you can start doing today to begin regulating your nervous system and supporting your emotional sobriety—whether you’re ready for neurofeedback or not. If you're ready to go deeper in your recovery, this episode will offer insight, hope, and practical support to help you move forward.✨  Learn more about remote neurofeedback therapy: www.shelbyjohn.com/neurofeedback Ready to schedule a consultation or learn if neurofeedback is right for you? Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    13 min
  6. Transforming Your Recovery: Overcoming Perfectionism's Grip

    JUL 1

    Transforming Your Recovery: Overcoming Perfectionism's Grip

    Dr. Vanessa Klugman shares her powerful 10-year recovery story, revealing how perfectionism and people-pleasing led to prescription drug addiction that cost her medical license. Discover the evidence-based tools she used to transform her inner critic into self-compassion and build a thriving life coaching practice. What You'll Learn • Why perfectionism can be a dangerous form of self-sabotage  • The connection between achievement-based love and addiction  • Three powerful tools to quiet your inner critic: CBT, meditation, and self-compassion  • How to practice the life-changing "self-compassion break" technique  • Why struggling is part of the human experience (and how to embrace it)  • The difference between mindfulness meditation and other types  • How to rebuild your identity after losing everything Key Takeaways "Addiction is the solution, not the problem" - Vanessa explains how substances become coping mechanisms for deeper issues like perfectionism, poor boundaries, and people-pleasing. The self-compassion break has three parts: Mindfulness - Notice you're strugglingSelf-kindness - Offer yourself compassionCommon humanity - Remember you're not aloneGuest Bio Dr. Vanessa Klugman is a physician turned recovery coach who specializes in helping people overcome self-sabotaging habits, including perfectionism, procrastination, and addiction. After losing her medical license due to prescription drug addiction, she rebuilt her life using evidence-based practices and now coaches clients nationwide. Resources Mentioned • Tara Brach - Radical Acceptance podcast and books • Kristin Neff - Self-Compassion research and practices • RAIN meditation technique  • 12-step recovery programs  • Mindfulness-based self-compassion courses Connect with Dr. Vanessa Klugman Website: resiliencerecoverycoaching.com Instagram: @resiliencerecoverycoaching Facebook: Resilience Recovery Coaching Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    47 min

  7. JUN 24

    Spirit-Led Recovery: Finding Freedom Through Faith

    Episode Highlights: Paulette Kengg, 67, shares her powerful transformation from a "take it or leave it" drinker to alcohol addiction in her mid-50s, and her ultimate freedom through faith-based recovery. After battling chronic insomnia for 8.5 years and following and old friend's advice to drink wine as a sleep aid, Paulette found herself addicted to alcohol—keeping a wine bottle by her bedside instead of sleeping pills. Key Topics Discussed: How chronic insomnia led to alcohol dependencyWhy AA and traditional recovery programs didn't work for PaulaThe role of trauma in addiction (Paulette's father was murdered when she was 14)Combining neuroscience with biblical principles for lasting sobrietyThe Heart of Addiction Bible study by Mark ShawOvercoming shame around addiction in Christian communitiesEMDR therapy and trauma healingNeuroplasticity and brain recovery in sobrietyDaily spiritual practices for maintaining sobrietyPaula's Sobriety Tools: Daily Bible study, prayer, and meditationJournaling (she's kept journals since age 14)Exercise and proper nutritionSelf-compassion and reparenting workServing others in recovery communityNear-Death Experience: Paulette shares her harrowing story of nearly bleeding to death after mixing Jack Daniels with Ambien, emphasizing how addiction progressed despite life-threatening consequences. Resources Mentioned: Spirit-Led Sobriety book by Paulette KenggThis Naked Mind by Annie GraceAndrew Huberman Podcast Episode 86Heart of Addiction Bible studyEMDR therapyCognitive Behavioral TherapyConnect with Paulette: Newsletter: spiritledsobriety.comInstagram: @spiritledsobriety2Facebook: Spirit-Led Sobriety (private group)Email: spiritledsobriety@gmail.comEpisode Takeaways: Recovery isn't one-size-fits-all. Paulette's journey shows that combining scientific understanding of addiction with spiritual transformation can create lasting change. Her story demonstrates the importance of not giving up on yourself, even after years of failed attempts. Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    40 min
  8. Emotional Regulation: The Missing Piece in Your Recovery Journey

    JUN 3

    Emotional Regulation: The Missing Piece in Your Recovery Journey

    Feeling Drained Even in Sobriety? Here's Why (And What to Do About It) You got sober. You did the hard work. So why do you still feel completely emotionally exhausted? In this powerful episode of Confident Sober Women, host Shelby John dives deep into the silent struggle many sober women face—emotional dysregulation and nervous system burnout. If you're walking through life in a fog of overwhelm or feeling like you’re doing everything “right” but still running on empty, this one’s for you. Sobriety gets you out of the chaos, but it doesn’t automatically heal trauma or reset your nervous system. That’s the work of emotional sobriety—and it’s what this episode is all about. 💡 Here’s what you’ll learn today: ✅ Why emotional exhaustion in sobriety is not a sign of failure ✅ The difference between sobriety and emotional sobriety ✅ How to regulate your nervous system before trying to “solve” anything ✅ A 3-step roadmap to rebuild your emotional energy from the inside out ✅ Practical tools to ground your body and process emotions without judgment Shelby also shares the proven healing tools she uses in her practice like EMDR therapy, EMDR intensives, and remote neurofeedback—and how they can support deeper emotional healing, even years into sobriety. 🛠️ Three Steps to Begin Rebuilding Today Regulate First, Reflect Later – Calm your nervous system before diving into “why.” Use grounding tools like deep nasal breathing, 5-4-3-2-1, or a quick barefoot walk.Name the Emotion Without Judgment – Practice saying, “Right now, I’m noticing…” to acknowledge and release your feelings safely.Rebuild from the Root – Go deeper than symptoms. Address unresolved trauma and dysregulation with effective tools like EMDR or neurofeedback.If you're ready to stop white-knuckling your emotions and start truly healing, this episode offers compassionate insight and doable steps to start feeling better now. 🎧 Don’t forget to hit subscribe and share this episode with a sober sister or any woman you know who’s navigating emotional overwhelm—even if she’s not in recovery. 📍 Want deeper support? 👉 Learn about EMDR Intensives 👉 Explore Support the show Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone. Support the show Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us. And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    9 min
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4.8
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About

Join Shelby John, sober since July 1, 2002, for empowering conversations on the Confident Sober Women podcast with women who've found joy and confidence in their alcohol and drug-free lives. This show is a rally cry for empathetic, resilient, and wisdom-seeking women dedicated to building a life you don't want to escape from after that crucial first year of a sober lifestyle. Discover how to: ·        Build unshakable confidence in your sober life ·        Break free from societal drinking norms ·        Overcome the shame cycle and emotional numbing ·        Resist the glamorized, over-hyped social influences around alcohol ·        Create a pure and joyful life beyond recovery Hear inspiring stories and practical advice on: ·        Healing trauma ·        Mindful parenting in recovery ·        Optimizing physical and mental health ·        Building a new, empowered identity ·        Transforming your life beyond substance abuse recovery We dive deep into questions like "Who am I now?" and "How do I pursue my heart's desires?", taking the intimidation out of sobriety and showcasing how to thrive in long-term recovery. This is truly a space for women supporting women in this modern recovery era. New episodes every Tuesday. Subscribe now for weekly inspiration on your journey to becoming one of the happiest sober women, free from the cool crowd's pressure to drink. Please leave a review if you love the show, it helps us on the mission to make the Confident Sober Women community a household name.

Information

  • Creator
    Shelby
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2025
  • Episodes
    227
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Confident Sober Women
  • Show Website
    Confident Sober Women

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