172 episodes

My name is Shelby John and July 1, 2002 was the first day of my second life, the day I got sober! And I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug since! Early sobriety is not the same as how you feel after you stay sober for a year to many. The brain begins to "wake up" and you are asking questions like "Who am I now?" or "What do I want for my life in recovery". My sobriety has given me the freedom to dedicate my life to helping other sober women in long-term sobriety as a therapist and a coach.  In this podcast, you will hear real-life talk about healing trauma, building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery! Let's thrive in long-term recovery together. 

Confident Sober Women Shelby

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.8 • 28 Ratings

My name is Shelby John and July 1, 2002 was the first day of my second life, the day I got sober! And I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug since! Early sobriety is not the same as how you feel after you stay sober for a year to many. The brain begins to "wake up" and you are asking questions like "Who am I now?" or "What do I want for my life in recovery". My sobriety has given me the freedom to dedicate my life to helping other sober women in long-term sobriety as a therapist and a coach.  In this podcast, you will hear real-life talk about healing trauma, building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery! Let's thrive in long-term recovery together. 

    Normalize Not Drinking And Belonging In Long-Term Sobriety

    Normalize Not Drinking And Belonging In Long-Term Sobriety

    A few years ago Jen started talking about normalizing not drinking. Jen got sober in AA and at the time she kept questioning when she would integrate back into normal social spaces. 


    She wanted to have elevated non-alcoholic options that were on par with her friends and family were drinking and beautifully presented. 


    Jen shared how her introversion and shyness as a young person prevented her from fitting in.  Alcohol helped her to feel the belonging she longed for.  


    Jen got so tired of being asked “Why aren’t you drinking” and began her mission to create social spaces where people can make the choice to just not drink AND feel like they fit in. 


    Jen has seen a dramatic shift in the corporate scene because half of Americans say they want to drink less or not at all. 


    We shared thoughts on modeling for our teens and young adults that non-drinking is an option. Although they may experiment we can share details about the dangers of substances on the developing brain when they see adults having fun and living life without alcohol it creates options for them.


    Jen shares that we can and should go into all of our spaces and when you see an opportunity share your voice about the non-alcoholic options. We can also encourage our communities and corporations to plan events that are not alcohol centered. 


    You never have to feel pressured to share your own story but simply ask how are we handling having non-alcoholic options. Just add in your thoughts about providing mocktails or whatever NA options feel appropriate.


    The landscape around not drinking is changing and becoming so much more accepted. 

    Jen Gilhoi is an advocate for and creator of healthy social experiences that decentralize alcohol.  She’s an event experience strategist and founder of Sparktrack and cofounder of Zero Proof Collective. Jen is also cofounded Sauna and Sobriety in May 2023 to model safe, adult spaces that foster healing and belonging without substances.
     Jengilhoi.com
    Zeroproofcollective.com
    You can find her on Instagram and Linkedin @jengilhoi, @zeroproofcollective and @Saunaandsobriety
     
    TEDx Talk (7.06.23) on YouTube
     https://youtu.be/Dov0WtIxSNI?si=oIknocfl0mf0Xt_w
    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 52 min
    Understand The Lies, Change Your Life in Sobriety w/Marci Rossi

    Understand The Lies, Change Your Life in Sobriety w/Marci Rossi

    Have you ever believed the lies you told yourself? This episode is for you.

    Marci shared how alcohol originally was something she did for fun but then became her medicine when she was depressed. She used it to numb all the pain she had until she realized she couldn’t stop. 


    Marci found a recovery program that aligned with her values and focused on changing her thoughts. She shared how she realized that alcohol was only making her depression worse and keeping her in this terrible cycle so she put on her sneakers and went for a walk. And that was the beginning of her sobriety experience.


    We talk about how alcohol LIES to us, it tells us all the ways we are not enough. Marci looked past her insecurity and reached out to someone she knew who was a coach who helped her build the confidence she needed to start her business as an alcohol-free woman. She shared how the time she gained back from being sober gave her the much-needed space she needed to learn and grow a business. 


    Marci can identify where her belief that she was not enough and to have value came from her childhood. Now Marci knows that she doesn’t need anyone to give her the attention and recognition she can give herself and that is enough. 


    She knows we don’t have to believe everything we think.


    We dive more into some of the cognitive behavioral work on thought changing. Part of this process is knowing that a lot of automatic thoughts will continue to come but the point is whether or not we accept them or not. We leave you with some real practical skills for thriving in long-term recovery.


    Marci Rossi is a certified success coach who helps women redefine their relationship with alcohol. Once a near-daily drinker, Marci has completely reframed her perspective on alcohol so that she no longer desires it, and now she helps others do the same. To learn more about Marci, visit https://www.marcirossi.com/ or @CoachMarciRossi on social media.
    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 46 min
    Your Values In Your Work, Worth And Long-Term Recovery w/Laure Ruettimann

    Your Values In Your Work, Worth And Long-Term Recovery w/Laure Ruettimann

    Laurie was raised by parents who struggled with substance abuse and took those coping skills out into the world and her professional corporate experience which perpetuated the drinking. 


    Laurie works in the world of Human Resources where she shares her story with those who need to hear it. Through those experiences, she had to look at herself and be accountable for her choices related to her health and wellness. 


    Laurie is looking for joy in this phase of my life. We talked about the mundane activities of life and how we manage them while also pursuing joy. We have to do the small things, every single day over time to make the HUGE transformations. 


    This is where our core values come into play in long-term recovery and you use them to back into your goals to determine where to start. 


    Laurie shares practical strategies to plan for failure. She shares that she knows when she goes to a networking event her instinct is to grab a drink and down it. Therefore, she tries to prepare and plan for failure to achieve success. We both share the way we do these including planning our drink of choice.


    Her book Corporate Drinker highlights the corporate design for events that are centered around alcohol experiences. Laurie is creating conversations around employers including more exclusive environments for everyone. 


    Laurie Ruettimann began her career as an HR leader and grew to become a writer and speaker. Laurie's best-selling book, "Betting On You," addressed modern workplace dynamics, and is preparing to release her new book, "Corporate Drinker," in 2025.

    You can learn more about Laurie on her website, https://laurieruettimann.com/
    Support the show
    Support the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 40 min
    Spirituality Meets Middle-Age In Long-Term Sobriety w/Kate Baily

    Spirituality Meets Middle-Age In Long-Term Sobriety w/Kate Baily

    What do sobriety, spirituality and menopause all have in common?

    Kate shares how her early religious experiences had a  key role in her drinking.  In fact, religion was her first drug. Kate shares vulnerably about her struggle with her drinking and her spiritual struggle, she referred to it as an inner and outer mismatch. She also realized later that as a child who was neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, she didn’t know where she fit in. She was attempting to control, regulate and fit into her world by using religion.

    Kate finally found something online she could relate to through a blog and started to make friends. She muscled her way through it and then started to discover self-care.
    Kate shares beautifully has she used her middle age experience to turn her emotional work inward.

    “A spiritual practice is any act habitually entered into with your whole hearts as a way to enter into a contemplative experience used to explore the holy moment”  This sums it up for her.

    Kate shared practical ways she has learned to manage her nervous system because high stress leads to high cortisol levels which prevent us from connecting to anything around us.

    Part of her development has been regarding women’s empowerment As she approached middle-age and entered perimenopause she began studying women’s experiences specifically around alcohol use and what is the need not being met.

    What is this next part of life going to look like. And it isn’t going to be like our younger years. As alcohol-free woman we already have an edge!

    Kate Baily is an author, speaker, and community and podcast host specializing in habit change, holistic well-being and midlife transition.

    Kate co-founded Love Sober and the author of ‘ Love Yourself Sober: A Self-Care Guide to Alcohol-Free Living for Busy Mothers’ and her new book ‘Love Your Sober Year - A Seasonal Guide to Alcohol-Free Living’ is available now.


    Website: https://www.lovesober.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovesober.cic/
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lovesober.cic/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebaily
    Substack: https://katebaily.substack.com/


    Support the show
    Support the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 44 min
    AA Skepticism Is A Real Thing In Long-Term Recovery w/Arlina Allen

    AA Skepticism Is A Real Thing In Long-Term Recovery w/Arlina Allen

    Did you get sober using a 12 step program or are you an AA skeptic?


    While she was getting sober and in the midst of a series of lost relationships Arlina found some people at work who were also living alcohol free and ushered her into a twelve step program.


    Arlina embraced her twelve step program as a “very pragmatic process for sorting out her baggage and gave her an opportunity to redefine what spirituality was to her.”


     Arlina layered on her program things like therapy and personal development to continue to feed her desire to grow.  There is plenty of space for this and does not mean you "aren't in AA",  you are simply growing in long-term recovery.


    We talked about the scientific addiction to substances as well as the lies we believe about what those substances do for us. There was a real identity shift for Arlina from being what she perceived as young and fun when she was drinking and her thought was not the fun was over.


    We also went over establishing healthy habits as a way to build self-trust. She likes the idea of tiny commitments to create sustainable change.  


    There are many hangups people have with AA. One of the major one is the people. Arlina breaks down the typical barriers that people get hung up on about the twelve step programs.

    Arlina Allen is a Certified Recovery Coach (IAPRC), Certified Hypnotist CH, the Founder of Sober Life School, and host of the award winning recovery podcast "The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast" with over 300 episodes. She helps busy women quit drinking and create a life they love!

    You can find more about her on her, including her book due out this year, www.soberlifeschool.com
    Support the show
    Support the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 56 min
    Taking Control Of Your Money In Long-Term Sobriety w/Melissa Leon

    Taking Control Of Your Money In Long-Term Sobriety w/Melissa Leon

    Have you ever “fought” the addiction path? And then everything you touch has to do with sobriety?


    Melissa shared how she coped through her first year and how she allowed herself to feel all the feels. Then at the year mark she decided to write a book. The desires of her heart were bubbling up in long-term recovery.


    She created a vision board at that time and she has achieved everything on that board. These are the blessings of getting and staying sober.  Melissa discovered how much she loved teaching other people about their finances and running a business and wants to give back to young people to help them as well.


    In this episode, Melissa goes through her acronym B.I.T.C.H. and shares how helpful it is to have someone to connect with regarding matters of money. Women in sobriety have the opportunity to take control of understanding their finances and how that relates to what they want for their life in long-term recovery. 


    We talk about some real practical tools for learning more about your finances as well as your emotions around that. This episode is packed with value for Thriving with your finances in sobriety. We don’t all need to become financial planners but we should know the basics of how things work, and know how to get the help you need.


    Melissa Leon is a 20-year finance and accounting professional passionate about teaching women to manage time and money. Melissa co-owns Two Sense Consulting (a Bookkeeping and Fractional CFO firm) and is the Podcast Host and Author of the #1 Best Seller “Efficiency Bitch, How Ambitious Women Can Have It All Without Doing It All.” 


    Twosenseconsulting.com
     EfficiencyBitch.com
     @two.senseconsulting
     @efficiencyB
    Podcast: efficiency bitch
     EfficiencyBitch.com
    Support the show
    Support the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 48 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
28 Ratings

28 Ratings

Meg Geisewite ,

Informative and Honest Podcast

Shelby’s podcast delivers honest, real, relatable content. She offers wisdom from not only her experience, but also as a therapist. Her down to earth approach makes it easy to listen to this wonderful podcast and she has great guests!

Little-i. ,

Great content!

These conversations are fantastic! I’ve been sober since 2020 and think these conversations are absolutely needed for women who are stepping into sobriety, considering it or continuing the journey. Well done, Shelby! -Erika // Her Renewed Strength-The Podcast

805 MM ,

Straightforward.

I like shows without a lot of fluff, she gets to the point interviews interesting people has great conversations with good takeaways for every day life

Top Podcasts In Health & Fitness

Huberman Lab
Scicomm Media
ZOE Science & Nutrition
ZOE
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
John R. Miles
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Ten Percent Happier
The School of Greatness
Lewis Howes

You Might Also Like

A Sober Girls Guide Podcast
A Sober Girls Guide
The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women
Casey McGuire Davidson
Happiest Sober Podcast
Madeline Forrest
The Sober Mom Life
suzanne
Alcohol Tipping Point
Alcohol Tipping Point
Recovery Elevator 🌴
Paul Churchill