My name is Shelby John and July 1, 2002 was the first day of my second life! And I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug since! My sobriety has given me the freedom to dedicate my life to helping others as a clinical social worker specializing in trauma. In this podcast you will hear real life talk about building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery!
Connecting Spiritually Through Yoga in Recovery w/Alexandra McRobert
Alexandra McRobert is a Yoga Teacher, Certified Life Coach, entrepreneur, podcaster, and Ontario Certified Teacher. From a very young age, she was drawn to yoga as a way to calm her mind and manage an undiagnosed mood disorder.
She began practicing yoga daily at the age of eighteen and completed her first 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training in 2014 at Yandara Yoga Institute in Mexico. In 2017, she completed her 300 Hour Yoga Teacher Training at Zuna Yoga in Bali.
We had a fabulous conversation about all the different options and the accessibility we have to different groups and programs to get sober today.
Alexandra shared how yoga plays a part in her sobriety journey. The philosophy of yoga aligns with the 12 steps. Yoga can be a way to connect spiritually.
You can find Alexandra Instagram @themindfullifepractice or on her website www.mindfullifepractice.com
Are you part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group? It is a free and private group for sober women who want to grow beyond their initial recovery. Come on over.
Getting To Know Yourself In Relationships w/Tamara Kirby
Tamara Kirby is a licensed and internationally certified Addictions Therapist who works with people in all stages of recovery. She offers intensive coaching to those who are just getting started. Then later, deeper dives may be taken to address irrational beliefs, unresolved childhood trauma, relational and financial concerns.
In our conversation, Tamar talked about the connection between childhood trauma (which occurs on a spectrum) and addiction. We can use reparenting today to be able to allow someone else to come into our lives and be in a relationship with us.
Tamar shared about recognizing patterns (in relationships) and what is familiar vs. what is healthy. Slowing down when starting new relationships, getting to know the other person first without being physical right away. Getting curious about ourselves and about potential partners. Learning what is going on in our bodies–tuning in to our bodies and recognizing what is happening when certain things come up in relationships.
She talks about tending to herself first and not ignoring any aspects of your life. She believes the fuller and more balanced the life, the better the romantic relationships.
She also shared about the repairing of her relationship with her daughter, and how she validated her daughter’s experiences when she was drinking and taking responsibility for the things that happened during that time.
You can connect with Tamara through her website https://www.tamarakirby.com
Did you know my book Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety is available wherever you buy books? This memoir is vulnerable and raw and tells the truth about living sober, parenting, marriage and building a business.
Sex (And Dating) In Sobriety w/Tawny Lara
Tawny is an award-winning podcast host, and the author of The Addiction Diaries and Sex And The Single Woman. She has positioned herself as The Sober Sexpert through her own learning and story to empower and provide hope for women in recovery.
You don't have to loose everything to reevaluation your relationship with alcohol.
Tawny made the connection between sexual trauma and the need to have alcohol to have sex. She leaned on her liquid courage to do things she might not normally have done.
We spoke about the importance of communicating or saying no if sex in sobriety is uncomfortable or triggering for you. It is important to take it slow and not jump into dating/sex right away.
In early sobriety, you’re meeting and learning about yourself for the first time. This includes taking the time to get to know our bodies, not just sexually but in all ways. There are a lot of ways to get better at communicating our wants and needs.
You can connect with Tawny through her podcast Recovery Rocks, on Instagram @TawnyMLara, website www.tawnylara.com.
Would you please take one minute to leave a review of this podcast? It really helps other sober women find us so we can spread the message of hope.
My memoir Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety has been published. You can get the ebook or paperback wherever you buy your books!
Dating, Sex and Taking it Slow in Sobriety w/Sarah Hepola
Sarah is the best selling author of Blackout, a memoir. She is also the host of the podcast Texas Monthly about the Dallas, Cowboys cheerleadrs. She is also an expert on gender roles and sexual relationships.
Sarah learned after getting sober that sex with one person over a longer period of time is much more enjoyable and meaningful than sex with multiple people. Also, that what we enjoy or are comfortable with in sex can change so much after getting sober, and there are challenges of working through that with a partner.
We as humans are constantly evolving and never know what “our truth” might be down the road. Learning how to speak up for ourselves and what we like or are comfortable with is part of the journey. Gender roles and roles in sexual relationships have changed in the past few decades and now we are able to negotiate them–something we were never taught how to do.
Sarah has become comfortable with taking it slow when dating, learning to enjoy her own company but not isolate herself.
You can find Sarah on her website,https://sarahhepola.com/ and Instagram @thesarahhepolaexperience
My new book, Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety is now out in stores. You can pick it up on Amazon or wherever you get your books.
Women and Alcohol: Why Numbers Are Rising w/Ann Dowsett Johnston
Ann is the best-selling author of the book Drink, that anonymously interviewed alcoholic women and told their stories. Some AA members were unhappy with her writing it. Ann discusses all the different paths, programs, etc. to recovery as well as the stigma and shame with alcoholic women.
Ann and I discuss her thoughts on burnout in women and how it can lead to alcoholism, as well as other contributing factors to the rising number of women who are alcoholics. She describes how society asks the question “What happened to that woman?” instead of “What’s wrong with that woman?” (looking at the trauma behind the addiction).
Our discussions leads to all the propaganda and sensationalizing of alcohol/alcoholism with our youth. Normalizing overwhelm and talking about different ways to cope with it. Ann shared how writing is her therapy and keeping gratitude journals–being grateful for all the good and the bad.
You can find Ann on her website https://www.anndowsettjohnston.com and her book Drink wherever you buy your books!
Other resources mentioned: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
Meaningful Motherhood In Sobriety w/Clare Pooley
Clare Pooley realized in 2015 she had to quit drinking, and started a blog by way of therapy. That blog went viral and was published as a memoir - The Sober Diaries. Clare now writes fiction. Her debut novel - The Authenticity Project is a New York Times bestseller and Clare’s second novel is out in June.
This conversation is all about the power of connecting with others. After all the opposite of addiction is connection. We talked about her blog-turned-book and how it covers what things look like after you get sober, which is funny because that's exactly what my book, Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety is all about. There is tremendous progress made when we commit to emotional sobriety and personal growth.
Clare was very nervous about her friendships when she quit drinking because most of her friends drank the same way she did. Some friends drifted away but eventually came back and the friendships had to be redefined–were more meaningful and less toxic. For her, relationships become deeper when she found new/varied ways to socialize. She rediscovered things about herself in sobriety.
The main reason she quit drinking was for her kids–felt like she missed out on a lot because of alcohol and she was a better, more present mom when she quit.
You can find Clare on her website www.clarepooley.com or Instagram @clare_pooley , Twitter, or Facebook page (SoberMummy).
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Would you please leave a review of this podcast below? It only takes 2 minutes and would mean the world to me. Thank you.
Authentic experiences, quality speakers!
Thank you Shelby John for always lifting my spirits and keeping me up to date with the latest tools in recovery and addiction research. Your guests are genuine and diverse to the female experience in alcohol recovery in todays society. I recommend your podcasts to all my sponsees!
Awesome show and amazing host! Shelby is helping so many women with this podcast.
Inspiration on my sober journey
Thank you Shelby for all you do. Its so great to have this uplifting podcast on the days I need extra strength.