169 episodes

My name is Shelby John and July 1, 2002 was the first day of my second life, the day I got sober! And I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug since! Early sobriety is not the same as how you feel after you stay sober for a year to many. The brain begins to "wake up" and you are asking questions like "Who am I now?" or "What do I want for my life in recovery". My sobriety has given me the freedom to dedicate my life to helping other sober women in long-term sobriety as a therapist and a coach.  In this podcast, you will hear real-life talk about healing trauma, building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery! Let's thrive in long-term recovery together. 

Confident Sober Women Shelby

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.7 • 28 Ratings

My name is Shelby John and July 1, 2002 was the first day of my second life, the day I got sober! And I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug since! Early sobriety is not the same as how you feel after you stay sober for a year to many. The brain begins to "wake up" and you are asking questions like "Who am I now?" or "What do I want for my life in recovery". My sobriety has given me the freedom to dedicate my life to helping other sober women in long-term sobriety as a therapist and a coach.  In this podcast, you will hear real-life talk about healing trauma, building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery! Let's thrive in long-term recovery together. 

    Spirituality Meets Middle-Age In Long-Term Sobriety w/Kate Baily

    Spirituality Meets Middle-Age In Long-Term Sobriety w/Kate Baily

    What do sobriety, spirituality and menopause all have in common?

    Kate shares how her early religious experiences had a  key role in her drinking.  In fact, religion was her first drug. Kate shares vulnerably about her struggle with her drinking and her spiritual struggle, she referred to it as an inner and outer mismatch. She also realized later that as a child who was neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, she didn’t know where she fit in. She was attempting to control, regulate and fit into her world by using religion.

    Kate finally found something online she could relate to through a blog and started to make friends. She muscled her way through it and then started to discover self-care.
    Kate shares beautifully has she used her middle age experience to turn her emotional work inward.

    “A spiritual practice is any act habitually entered into with your whole hearts as a way to enter into a contemplative experience used to explore the holy moment”  This sums it up for her.

    Kate shared practical ways she has learned to manage her nervous system because high stress leads to high cortisol levels which prevent us from connecting to anything around us.

    Part of her development has been regarding women’s empowerment As she approached middle-age and entered perimenopause she began studying women’s experiences specifically around alcohol use and what is the need not being met.

    What is this next part of life going to look like. And it isn’t going to be like our younger years. As alcohol-free woman we already have an edge!

    Kate Baily is an author, speaker, and community and podcast host specializing in habit change, holistic well-being and midlife transition.

    Kate co-founded Love Sober and the author of ‘ Love Yourself Sober: A Self-Care Guide to Alcohol-Free Living for Busy Mothers’ and her new book ‘Love Your Sober Year - A Seasonal Guide to Alcohol-Free Living’ is available now.


    Website: https://www.lovesober.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovesober.cic/
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lovesober.cic/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebaily
    Substack: https://katebaily.substack.com/


    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 44 min
    AA Skepticism Is A Real Thing In Long-Term Recovery w/Arlina Allen

    AA Skepticism Is A Real Thing In Long-Term Recovery w/Arlina Allen

    Did you get sober using a 12 step program or are you an AA skeptic?


    While she was getting sober and in the midst of a series of lost relationships Arlina found some people at work who were also living alcohol free and ushered her into a twelve step program.


    Arlina embraced her twelve step program as a “very pragmatic process for sorting out her baggage and gave her an opportunity to redefine what spirituality was to her.”


     Arlina layered on her program things like therapy and personal development to continue to feed her desire to grow.  There is plenty of space for this and does not mean you "aren't in AA",  you are simply growing in long-term recovery.


    We talked about the scientific addiction to substances as well as the lies we believe about what those substances do for us. There was a real identity shift for Arlina from being what she perceived as young and fun when she was drinking and her thought was not the fun was over.


    We also went over establishing healthy habits as a way to build self-trust. She likes the idea of tiny commitments to create sustainable change.  


    There are many hangups people have with AA. One of the major one is the people. Arlina breaks down the typical barriers that people get hung up on about the twelve step programs.

    Arlina Allen is a Certified Recovery Coach (IAPRC), Certified Hypnotist CH, the Founder of Sober Life School, and host of the award winning recovery podcast "The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast" with over 300 episodes. She helps busy women quit drinking and create a life they love!

    You can find more about her on her, including her book due out this year, www.soberlifeschool.com
    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 56 min
    Taking Control Of Your Money In Long-Term Sobriety w/Melissa Leon

    Taking Control Of Your Money In Long-Term Sobriety w/Melissa Leon

    Have you ever “fought” the addiction path? And then everything you touch has to do with sobriety?


    Melissa shared how she coped through her first year and how she allowed herself to feel all the feels. Then at the year mark she decided to write a book. The desires of her heart were bubbling up in long-term recovery.


    She created a vision board at that time and she has achieved everything on that board. These are the blessings of getting and staying sober.  Melissa discovered how much she loved teaching other people about their finances and running a business and wants to give back to young people to help them as well.


    In this episode, Melissa goes through her acronym B.I.T.C.H. and shares how helpful it is to have someone to connect with regarding matters of money. Women in sobriety have the opportunity to take control of understanding their finances and how that relates to what they want for their life in long-term recovery. 


    We talk about some real practical tools for learning more about your finances as well as your emotions around that. This episode is packed with value for Thriving with your finances in sobriety. We don’t all need to become financial planners but we should know the basics of how things work, and know how to get the help you need.


    Melissa Leon is a 20-year finance and accounting professional passionate about teaching women to manage time and money. Melissa co-owns Two Sense Consulting (a Bookkeeping and Fractional CFO firm) and is the Podcast Host and Author of the #1 Best Seller “Efficiency Bitch, How Ambitious Women Can Have It All Without Doing It All.” 


    Twosenseconsulting.com
     EfficiencyBitch.com
     @two.senseconsulting
     @efficiencyB
    Podcast: efficiency bitch
     EfficiencyBitch.com
    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 48 min
    Speaking Up For Alcohol Free Workplaces Is Supportive w/Janet Hadley

    Speaking Up For Alcohol Free Workplaces Is Supportive w/Janet Hadley

    Does your employer know you are sober?


    Janet struggled in the beginning of sobriety because she didn’t know there was a whole world of sober people out there who could help her.


    She had to decouple her identity from the drinker and party girl and work out who she was in long-term sobriety. Janet shared how she has found so many things including cold plunging to get the dopamine hit that she was seeking from alcohol. 


    It was astounding to her how people in the wellness space talk about being healthy and yet they serve alcohol at all of their events. If more people understood what alcohol was doing to them they could have a better life. 


    Janet managed to influence the policies at her workplace to be more supportive of people with substance use disorders. She helped create a space where people felt more comfortable asking for help. 


    In her work, she highlights how we have destigmatized other issues throughout history so this concept isn’t new.  She wants the policies to always give the employees the support and help they need with less of a punitive stance. She encourages all of us to take these concepts to our employees and advocate for changes that create more support. 


    Founder of Choose Sunrise, Janet is on a mission to help employers attract and retain top talent by creating an Alcohol Safe Workplace®...without killing the buzz!
    https://choosesunrise.co.uk
    https://www.linkedin.com/in/janet-hadley/
    https://www.instagram.com/choose_sunrise/
    https://www.youtube.com/@soberbusinessnetwork 
    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 42 min
    She Used Core Values To Regain Leadership In Sobriety w/Angie Chaplin

    She Used Core Values To Regain Leadership In Sobriety w/Angie Chaplin

    Do you know how to discover your own personal core values?


    Angie’s freedom from alcohol started the month before the pandemic started her 5th hospitalization due to her drinking. The pandemic put all her in-person programs on hold at 40 days of sobriety. 


    She used a core values activity from graduate school to help her regain leadership in her sobriety. Angie shares the activity she does with others using a deck of values cards to help people truly gain clarity about their values.


    In general, we take on the values of our family of origin and the addition of substances during adolescent development can stunt our ability to discern what belongs to us and what are others. The blessing of building emotional sobriety is the opportunity to understand values not only for yourself but with your partner, your family and your workplace.


    Curiosity and clarity drew her to learn more about what led her to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. She dug into mindfulness, the enneagram and her behavior styles. Long-term sobriety is a growth opportunity to explore what the most important things in life are to you. 


    Speaker, consultant, and author Angie Chaplin is the founder of Mindful Leadership, a woman-owned small business based in Iowa City. As a survivor of life-threatening alcohol use disorder, Angie's courageous journey epitomizes her values of integrity, curiosity, clarity, connection, and love. 


    https://www.angiechaplin.com
    LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/angiechaplin
    Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/MindfulLeadership2020
    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/_Mindful_Leadership_
    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 44 min
    Mommy Whine Time To Decidedly Dry w/Jess Steitzer

    Mommy Whine Time To Decidedly Dry w/Jess Steitzer

    Jess is the mom of two boys, she is sweet, honest and was a sucker for the mommy wine culture. It seemed normal to her.


    Jess shared how she was hanging in the crowd that did everything with alcohol until she found This Naked Mind and started to become curious as sobriety.


    The first year of sobriety for her was very much about survival, how can I get past the witching hour. And then she came to believe this was her new identity as a non-drinking in long-term sobriety. 


    Jess focused on healing and being of service. She created a journal to help herself and others to build confidence, self-love and healing in sobriety. She found it so beneficial as a chance to be off the screens in front of her boys. 


    Because of the modern sobriety movement, making this change wasn’t significantly difficult for her within her social circles. Having fun and non-alcoholic products helped her feel comfortable.


    Jess is the host and founder of Decidedly Dry. She inspires the ever-growing sober community and believes it is her calling to help women embrace a sober lifestyle. She’s the mom of two active, adventurous and loving boys, and resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


    https://decidedlydry.substack.com/
    IG: @decidedlydry
    Support the showSupport the show

    Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my program Sober Freedom Transformation is now open! It is for women who have been sober for a year to many and are ready to discover who they want to be in long term sobreity, develop confidence and improve their relationships.

    If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.

    And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerably so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.

    • 38 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
28 Ratings

28 Ratings

Meg Geisewite ,

Informative and Honest Podcast

Shelby’s podcast delivers honest, real, relatable content. She offers wisdom from not only her experience, but also as a therapist. Her down to earth approach makes it easy to listen to this wonderful podcast and she has great guests!

Little-i. ,

Great content!

These conversations are fantastic! I’ve been sober since 2020 and think these conversations are absolutely needed for women who are stepping into sobriety, considering it or continuing the journey. Well done, Shelby! -Erika // Her Renewed Strength-The Podcast

805 MM ,

Straightforward.

I like shows without a lot of fluff, she gets to the point interviews interesting people has great conversations with good takeaways for every day life

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