Connection Codes

Connection Codes
  • 4.9 (220)
  • Self-Improvement
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We often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and frustration. We don't know how to convey how we feel OR we burst out and create even more pain. Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill have spent years researching human connection and how to break that cycle. The Connection Codes is the guide to helping couples conquer conflict and it is the tool to break the cycle of pain and live in peace together. For free resources to a better marriage go to https://www.connectioncodes.co/

  1. 1d ago

    Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Forgets - (With John Kilmer)

    What if your body has been keeping a record your mind never agreed to? In this episode, Glenn and Phyllis sit down with John Kilmer — occupational therapist, life coach, and newly certified Connection Coder — for a conversation about how emotion lives in the body long after the moment has passed. John shares what it was like to grow up between countries, why a hospital stay at 18 months still shapes how he trusts, and how his five-year-old recently named his own fear and shame out loud instead of hiding it. Phyllis opens up about coming to the U.S. as a child who couldn't yet read or write English, and learning to disappear. Together they unpack somatic work, the nervous system, and why simply being present in our own bodies can feel terrifying — and freeing. In this episode: How a five-year-old used the Core Emotion Wheel to self-disclose instead of hideWhy "the issues are in the tissues" — and what somatic work actually meansThe 90-second life of an emotion, and what happens when we cut it shortGrowing up as a "third culture kid" and the quiet grief no one namedWhy looking into another person's eyes for four minutes changes us biochemicallyLoneliness, isolated mothers, and the tools we were never givenJohn walks the Core Emotion Wheel live to close the episodeAbout John Kilmer: John is an occupational therapist and life coach in rural Washington State, trained in somatic and polyvagal-informed approaches to trauma. A recent graduate of the School of Connection and a newly certified Connection Codes coach, he brings a deep love of embodiment work and a story shaped by years living in Lebanon and Kenya. Resources mentioned: The Core Emotion Wheel (free download) → connectioncodes.co/get-the-cewFind a certified Connection Codes coach → connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuReach John directly → JohnKilmercoaching@gmail.comCheck out our new website → connectioncodes.co And be on the lookout — our new community is coming soon. You won't want to miss it.

    1h 1m

  2. Jun 9

    Nobody Chooses Pain (With Dr Glenn & Phyllis)

    A trigger isn't an overreaction — it's stored pain asking to come out. From a rainforest compound in Costa Rica (howler monkeys included), Glenn and Phyllis unpack what's really happening when someone gets "triggered," why the brain can't tell the difference between a stubbed toe and an old wound, and why our instinct to calm people down is doing the opposite of helping. Phyllis shares the morning she walked away from a conversation feeling "off" — and turned back around. Glenn shares why he Oooed the stranger screaming at him through a car window. This is an honest, sometimes raw conversation about making space for pain instead of putting the lid back on the jar. In this episode: The working definition of trauma: a current emotional response based on a past eventWhy "just choose joy / stop choosing pain" is something we'd never say to a six-month-oldThe four Phrases — and when not to use the second oneWhy calming someone down tamps the emotion into the body instead of out of itThe jar metaphor: holding sacred space vs. snapping the lid back onPhyllis crying in front of a room of strangers in Switzerland — and why it connected themA live, issue-specific Core Emotion Wheel on one of their most intimate, tender topicsResources mentioned: Free Core Emotion Wheel → connectioncodes.co/get-the-cewFind a certified coach (book a session) → connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuSend us your questions for the show → info@connectioncodes.co

    43 min

  3. Jun 2

    What Happens When You Don't Cry? (With Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill)

    Glenn and Phyllis at the mic. They open with a goodbye on a train platform in Switzerland — and the tears Phyllis chose not to swallow — then go straight into what crying actually does inside your body, and what it quietly costs you when you don't. Glenn unpacks the science (your tears are carrying stress chemistry out of you, and blocking them keeps it in), and Phyllis shares the grief that went underground the year her mom died, when she told herself she "didn't have time to be sad." This is an episode about permission — to feel it, to let it flow, and to be the kind of person who can sit with someone else's tears without trying to fix them. In this episode: Why "boys don't cry" may be one of the most damaging things our culture teaches — and why Glenn says it's like telling someone not to exhaleWhat's actually inside an emotional tear, and why blocking it leaves stress trapped in your bodyPhyllis's story of not crying when her mom died — and the grief that went underground for yearsThe power of the Ooh: what to do instead of reaching for the tissue boxWhy offering a Kleenex can quietly tell someone their tears are a problemA live Core Emotion Wheel on tears — Glenn and Phyllis each model it in real time"If you love deeply, you hurt deeply. And if you don't, it's much, much worse."Resources mentioned: The free Core Emotion Wheel → connectioncodes.co/get-the-cewThe blog this episode is built on, "The Cost of Not Crying" → blog.connectioncodes.co/posts/the-cost-of-not-cryingThe tears carousel → on Instagram @connectioncodesThe Connection Codes Community launches September 2026 — grab the Wheel to be first in line → connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew

    43 min

  4. May 26

    Goodbye, Tera - A New Season Begins

    After four years, hundreds of episodes, and countless wheels, Tera Wages is stepping down from her role as host of the Connection Codes podcast. In this special two-part episode, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis open with a heartfelt tribute from Costa Rica, and then Tera takes the mic solo from Spain — where she's hiking the Camino de Santiago for her 40th birthday — to share what the Connection Codes has given her, the three things she's carrying forward for the rest of her life, and one final Core Emotion Wheel with the community she's loved. In this episode: Dr. Glenn and Phyllis honor Tera and Wes's four years of partnership in building Connection CodesThe story of the front porch swing — and the moment Wes put two unplugged mics in front of Glenn and Phyllis that launched the podcastWhy Tera knew it was time, and what's next for the podcast under Glenn and PhyllisThree things the Connection Codes has built into Tera that she'll carry forever: the power of the Wheel, the necessity of community, and the refusal to stay stuckA wheel on the phone with Wes, mid-Camino — and the door it openedPilgrims, phones, and the loneliness epidemicTera's final on-mic Core Emotion Wheel: sad, guilt, shame, lonely, hurt, anger, joyResources mentioned: Core Emotion Wheel (free download) → connectioncodes.co/wheelFoundations Masterclass → connectioncodes.co/foundations

    47 min

  5. May 19

    Why More Emotion Words Make It Worse (with Michelle & Kurt)

    Michelle and Kurt have been married since 1999 — and they're the first to tell you that "together a long time" isn't the same as "doing well." In this conversation, they share the moment Connection Codes stopped being a book on their shelf and started reorganizing their marriage. Michelle, a relationship coach herself, names something most of us have felt but never said out loud: that all the colorful language and long paragraphs were just a means to one simple end — to matter. This is a real-time look at what happens when a long-married couple stops trying to be understood and starts letting themselves be regarded. In this episode: Why "more emotion words" can actually make you more dysregulated (and what to do instead)The "two junkyard dogs" season — and how Connection Codes opened a door out of itWhy repeating back what your partner said keeps missing the pointThe dam break: why things often feel worse before they get betterTrauma isn't the event — it's that no one regarded you afterwardBefriending shame and guilt as "text messages from God"Michelle's metaphor: emotion as a corked bottle of rubbing alcoholAbout Michelle & Kurt: Michelle and kurt live in Seattle and have been married since July 1999. Michelle is a relationship coach who now integrates the Connection Codes framework into her work with clients. They found Connection Codes through Zach Watson and went on to complete the coaching cohort. Resources mentioned: The Core Emotion Wheel (free download) → connectioncodes.co/wheelFoundations Masterclass → connectioncodes.co/foundationsCertified Coaches Directory → connectioncodes.co/coaches

    55 min

  6. May 12

    "We Called It the 30-Year Fight. Now We Know Why." (With Susan & Sean McGinnis)

    Susan and Sean McGinnis drove two hours to a live Connection Codes event in Austin knowing almost nothing about the framework — just desperate to save a 30-year marriage that kept circling the same argument, every three or four months, for three decades. In this episode, they walk Glenn and Phyllis through what they now call "the 30-year fight": a cycle of hurt, still face, shutdown, and silence that neither of them could name — until they finally had the tools to. From Sean's breakthrough that his so-called temper was actually unprocessed hurt, to Susan crying in the hallway Friday night after hearing about identity for the very first time, this is a story about two people who almost didn't make it — and chose to go all in. Key topics covered: How Susan and Sean discovered Connection Codes almost by accident after exhausting other approachesThe mechanics of "the 30-year fight" — a cyclical argument that lasted days and weeks and always ended the same wayStill face as a survival strategy, not just a research concept — and what it cost them bothSecondary emotions: how Sean's hurt hid as anger for 30 years without either of them knowing itThe identity teaching that broke Susan in the hallway on the very first night of the Austin seminarTheir morning practice: 4 miles, two processing floors, and how they start every day emptied outA live Core Emotion Wheel exercise — both Susan and Sean walk through all 8 emotions about "the 30-year fight"Guest Bio:Susan and Sean McGinnis are a Texas-based couple married 30 years, now certified Connection Codes coaches. Susan works with horses; Sean is semi-retired from a career in construction and trading. They went through the CC Foundations course and coaching cohort together and are passionate about giving other couples the hope they almost ran out of. CTAs: Download the Core Emotion Wheel free → connectioncodes.co/wheelWork with a certified CC coach → connectioncodes.co/coachesStart with the Foundations Masterclass → connectioncodes.co/foundations

    47 min

  7. May 5

    To Feel Is To Connect (With Bob and Jen Bevan)

    Bob and Jen Bevan are a married couple from Cleveland, Tennessee — 29 years in, two kids, three grandchildren, and owners of Witt's Frozen Custard. What they didn't expect was that the path to real connection would run straight through the Core Emotion Wheel. In this episode, Bob and Jen share what it was like to enter Connection Codes from very different starting points — Jen as a certified coach, Bob as a self-described "highly recovering codependent" — and what happened when they finally had language for what was breaking them apart. From Jen's raw confession that shame felt like a knife telling her she couldn't exist, to Bob's discovery that he hadn't been able to access "lonely" for decades, this episode is for every couple who wanted to love each other better but didn't know how. Key topics covered: Why one partner going first in Connection Codes doesn't have to mean the other gets left behindWhat codependency does to your ability to feel your own emotionsShame as a barrier to coming out of hiding — especially in church cultureThe difference between drowning in emotion and processing itBob's story of doing the Core Emotion Wheel with his son after a major fight — for the very first timeGlenn's "relationships require depth, not time" reframeJen's breakthrough: "To feel is to connect — with people, and with God"Guest bio:Bob and Jen Bevan are based in Cleveland, Tennessee, where they run Witt's Frozen Custard and stay deeply embedded in church community. Bob brings 25 years of pastoral experience and a psychology degree; Jen is a Connection Codes certified coach. Together, they're proof that the tools work — even when you come in from two totally different directions. Resources & CTAs: 🎡 Free Core Emotion Wheel → connectioncodes.co/wheel🏅 Certified Coaching → connectioncodes.co/coaches📚 Foundations Masterclass → connectioncodes.co/foundations

    43 min

  8. Apr 28

    What Happens When a Man Finally Says How He Feels? (With Mitchell Osmond)

    What happens when a man who was wired for achievement — not emotion — finally says out loud that he's afraid? For Mitchell Osmond, it took four years of marriage, a near-divorce, and a funeral to find out. In this episode, Tera sits down with Mitchell, host of the Dad Nation podcast and coach to high-performing men, for a conversation that goes deep into what it actually looks like when a man chooses emotional connection over self-protection. Mitchell shares his SORRY apology framework, the "story I'm telling myself" tool, and what happened when he stopped being a robot — and his wife noticed immediately.IN THIS EPISODE:→ Why men tell you what they did instead of how they feel — and how to break that pattern→ Mitchell's SORRY framework: a five-step apology that actually lands and can't easily be weaponized→ The "story I'm telling myself" tool for short-circuiting conflict before it spirals→ How shame — not just pride — can keep us from reconnecting after a rupture→ A live Core Emotion Wheel walk-through with Mitchell sharing real-time vulnerability on all 8 emotions→ Why Mitchell believes: when a dad gets better, the whole family winsABOUT MITCHELL OSMOND:Mitchell is the host of the Dad Nation podcast and founder of a coaching practice dedicated to helping high-performing men win at home like they do at work. After turning his own life around — from near-divorce, 60 pounds overweight, and $100K in debt to a fully restored marriage and family — he now helps the man he used to be. Find him at dadnationco.com or on Instagram.RESOURCES MENTIONED:→ Core Emotion Wheel (free download): connectioncodes.co/wheel → Certified coaching: connectioncodes.co/coaches→ Foundations Masterclass: connectioncodes.co/foundations→ Dad Nation Podcast & Coaching: dadnationco.com

    43 min
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Trailer

4.9
out of 5
220 Ratings

About

We often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and frustration. We don't know how to convey how we feel OR we burst out and create even more pain. Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill have spent years researching human connection and how to break that cycle. The Connection Codes is the guide to helping couples conquer conflict and it is the tool to break the cycle of pain and live in peace together. For free resources to a better marriage go to https://www.connectioncodes.co/

Information

  • Creator
    Connection Codes
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    222
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Connection Codes
  • Show Website
    Connection Codes

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