Connection Codes

Connection Codes

We often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and frustration. We don't know how to convey how we feel OR we burst out and create even more pain. Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill have spent years researching human connection and how to break that cycle. The Connection Codes is the guide to helping couples conquer conflict and it is the tool to break the cycle of pain and live in peace together. Hosted by Tera Wages of the I Get It podcast. For free resources to a better marriage go to https://www.connectioncodes.co/

  1. 2D AGO

    From Judgment to Curiosity: What Judgment Is Costing You and What Changes When You Get Curious

    What if the harshest critic in your life isn't someone else—it's you? We judge ourselves constantly. Our fears, our bodies, our parenting, the way we show up in relationships. And while we think judgment is motivating us to change, it's actually keeping us trapped in cycles of shame, anger, and disconnection. In this episode, Dr. Glenn Hill, Phyllis Hill, and Tera Wages unpack the destructive patterns of self-judgment and reveal the powerful alternative that transforms everything: curiosity. You'll discover: Why toddlers don't judge themselves and what we can learn from their natural self-acceptanceThe shame-anger cocktail that fuels judgment and keeps you stuckHow 10 seconds of curiosity can completely change any interaction or internal struggleWhy keeping your struggles secret feeds shame and makes judgment growThe question that stops judgment cold and opens the door to compassionHow to recognize your personal trigger topics so you can respond differently next timeWhy social media has created a judgment epidemic and how to protect yourselfReal-life examples of shifting from judgment to curiosity in marriage, parenting, and everyday momentsWhat to do when someone shuts down (the "still face" phenomenon) and you feel flooded with shameWhether you're battling negative self-talk, living in fear of others' opinions, or finding yourself quick to criticize people around you, this conversation will give you practical tools to break the judgment cycle and step into genuine emotional freedom. What you'll walk away with:The understanding that judgment isn't helping you grow—it's keeping you isolated. But when you get curious about yourself and others, everything shifts. Compassion replaces criticism. Connection replaces division. And you finally get the space to be your authentic, vulnerable self. Keywords: self-judgment, mental health, emotional regulation, marriage counseling, shame and anger, curiosity vs judgment, self-compassion, relationship communication, emotional intelligence, breaking negative patterns, therapy tools, mental wellness, emotional freedom, self-criticism, Nashville therapist

    56 min
  2. JAN 13

    When Pain Becomes Home: Breaking the Pattern That Keeps You Stuck

    Have you ever noticed how easy it is to stay in painful patterns—even when you know they're hurting you? In this powerful episode, we explore why pain becomes a "home base" for so many people, how depression and emotional suffering can feel safer than joy, and what it actually takes to break free. In this episode, you'll discover: Why homeostasis keeps us returning to painful patterns (even when we desperately want change)The psychological phenomenon of anhedonia—the inability to experience joy—and how to recognize it in your own lifeHow pain can become a badge of honor and part of your identityThe three essential ingredients for lasting transformation: pattern disruption, new environment, and timeWhy all eight core emotions (including pain AND joy) are designed to protect and guide youReal stories of radical pattern breaking—from career changes to selling everything and starting overHow to recognize when you're living in emotional survival mode versus thrivingKey insights from this episode: Glenn shares his experience of living with depression as his baseline for decades, where his daily goal was to "claw my way up to zero." Phyllis reveals the moment she knew their marriage pattern had to break—when she told Glenn to quit his construction job and go back to school, even though she'd never supported the family before. Tera opens up about her own relationship with pain, realizing she wore it as a badge of honor—even laughing through physical pain because she wanted to be seen as strong, not weak. The message of pain is simple: there's a problem. But too many of us have become numb to it, accepting suffering as "just the way it is." This episode will help you identify where pain has become your comfort zone and give you the courage to disrupt the pattern. Keywords: emotional health, mental health, depression recovery, marriage transformation, breaking patterns, emotional regulation, identity crisis, joy and pain balance, relationship coaching, emotional processing, therapy tools, mental wellness, overcoming depression, emotional awareness, self-discovery Resources mentioned: Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesSchool of Connection (starts Jan 20): www.connectioncodes.co/school

    46 min
  3. JAN 6

    Why Your Emotions Are Throwing a Temper Tantrum (And What to Do About It)

    What if the "temper tantrums" in your life—whether from your kids, your partner, or even yourself—aren't misbehavior at all, but a desperate cry to be heard? In this episode, Dr. Glenn Hill and Tera Wages unpack a powerful truth: our emotions are pitching a temper tantrum when they're not being acknowledged. From the three-year-old crying over a scraped knee to the adult who shuts down completely, we explore what happens when our emotional energy is resisted instead of received. In This Episode: Why saying "you're okay" to a crying child creates two problems instead of solving oneHow emotional resistance shows up differently in adults (yelling, shutting down, or exploding)The powerful three-phrase framework that stops tantrums in their tracksReal stories of transformation when couples learn to follow each other's energyWhy our culture teaches us that suppressing emotions is mature (and why it's actually destroying us)Whether you're parenting young children, navigating marriage conflict, or trying to understand your own emotional patterns, this episode will help you recognize when energy is being resisted—and how to create connection instead. Key Concepts: Emotional regulation and emotional healthThe "ooh" response and following energyTemper tantrums in children and adultsMarriage communication and conflict resolutionParenting with emotional intelligenceMental health and self-awarenessLeadership through emotional presenceResources Mentioned: Connection Codes Three-Phrase Magnet (available on our website)The Core Emotion WheelFoundations CourseReady to stop resisting and start connecting? This episode will change how you see every "temper tantrum" in your life. Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

    37 min
  4. 12/30/2025

    The Monday Mindset: Breaking The Cycle & Actually Starting Fresh in 2026

    What if the secret to actually starting fresh in 2026 isn't about making better resolutions—but about stopping to process what 2025 is trying to tell you? In this transformative year-end episode, marriage and family therapist Dr. Glenn Hill shares why he loves Mondays, New Year's, and fresh starts—and the framework that makes them actually work. Glenn and his wife Phyllis get vulnerable about their year of burnout, chronic pain, and the pivotal moments that changed everything. Tera Wages guides them through a reflection process that goes beyond surface-level goal-setting to create real, lasting transformation. You'll discover: The "Monday Mindset" approach to fresh starts that actually creates changeWhy your high pain tolerance is keeping you stuck (and how to recognize it)The year-end reflection framework: what went well, what didn't, and what to do about itHow to stop the cycle of ignoring pain and hoping things will "just get better"The difference between processing pain and managing pain (one leads to breakthrough, one leads to burnout)Why "letting bygones be bygones" guarantees you'll repeat the same patterns in 2026How to identify what to replicate vs. what to eliminate as you enter the new year Key Topics: New Year goals, fresh starts, emotional health, mental health, marriage counseling, burnout recovery, chronic pain management, year-end reflection, goal setting, emotional intelligence, relationship coaching, leadership development, self-care, mental wellness, therapy tools, emotional processing, work-life balance, New Year's resolutions alternative Powerful Moments: Glenn opens up about barely celebrating the holidays a year ago due to burnout—and where he is todayPhyllis shares her journey from standing at the Grand Canyon unable to walk to reclaiming her body and futureThe "hot stove competition" analogy that will change how you view pain tolerance foreverWhy Echo's confrontation became the catalyst for Phyllis's transformationThe truth about psycholation (psychological isolation) and why "don't air your dirty laundry" is destroying usHow Connection Codes is expanding in 2026 with the School of Connection and more in-person events The Framework: Look backward - What went well? (Find your bullseye to replicate)Process the pain - What didn't go well? (Identify what needs to shift)Take action - What specific steps will eliminate the pain and pour gas on what's working? Resources Mentioned: Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesSchool of Connection (Enrollment Open - Starts Jan 20): https://www.connectioncodes.co/school-of-connectionClarity Reset (Perfect for fresh starts): https://www.connectioncodes.co/clarity-resetFoundations Masterclass: https://www.connectioncodes.co/foundationsIf you're tired of the same cycle of New Year's resolutions that fade by February, this episode will give you the Monday Mindset framework to make 2026 actually different. Because fresh starts only work when you stop ignoring what your emotions are telling you. Connect with us:Instagram: @connectioncodesWebsite: www.connectioncodes.co

    56 min
  5. 12/23/2025

    Shrimp Rings & Silver Trees: The Holiday Traditions That Made Us Who We Are

    What do a silver Christmas tree, a shrimp ring, and a pen from a Pringles can all have in common? They're all part of the wild, wonderful, and sometimes ridiculous Christmas journey of Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill! In this fun and festive episode, Glenn, Phyllis, and Tera open up about their favorite Christmas traditions—from Phyllis's magical German childhood with St. Nicholas bringing candlelit trees on Christmas Eve, to Glenn's silver tree with a spinning color wheel, to their hilariously humble first married Christmas together. They share how they've created over-the-top holiday magic for their kids and now 12 grandkids, including elaborate scavenger hunts, cousin extravaganzas, and Glenn's famous Christmas plays. In this episode, you'll hear: Phyllis's German Christmas traditions (so different from American ones!)Glenn's confession about thinking Velveeta was "real cheese"Their first married Christmas story (you won't believe what they gave each other)The legendary "shrimp ring years" their kids still talk aboutHow they create magical experiences for 12 grandkidsThe evolution of their family Christmas celebrationsWhat happens when your adult kids start their own traditionsEveryone's favorite Christmas songs, foods, and moviesPerfect for: Anyone who loves Christmas, families creating traditions, parents and grandparents who go all-out for the holidays, anyone curious about international Christmas celebrations, couples building their own family culture Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches Keywords: Christmas traditions, holiday memories, family celebrations, German Christmas, creating family traditions, grandparenting, Christmas magic, holiday joy, marriage and family, festive season, cultural differences, Christmas stories

    56 min
  6. 12/16/2025

    When Humor Hurts: Navigating Experiencing the Same Situation Differently

    Why do the same moments bring one person joy and another person pain? And how can we stop letting those differences destroy our relationships? In this powerful episode, Glenn, Phyllis, and Tera unpack a transformative truth: we all enter the same situations with completely different backstories, and those differences create conflict faster than anything else—especially during the holidays. Tera shares a vulnerable story about feeling hurt by Glenn's teasing, only to discover they have polar opposite beliefs about what jokes mean. Glenn grew up believing you only joke about things that aren't true, while Tera learned that every joke contains truth. Same behavior. Completely different experiences. Glenn and Phyllis walk through real-life examples—from music preferences to days off—showing how our childhood experiences shape what brings us joy or pain today. They share practical tools for conveying your experience without attacking your partner, and how to create curiosity instead of conflict. In this episode, you'll discover: Why the holidays amplify relational disconnection (and how to navigate family gatherings without losing yourself)The simple phrase that stops emotional flooding before it creates an "emotional dam"How one couple discovered why the husband's day off was his most dysregulated day of the weekWhy saying "I felt hurt" is completely different than "that hurt me"The secret to making space for both people's experiences without anyone being "wrong"How to recognize when you're losing your identity and what to do about itFeatured Story: A client discovers his day off triggers fear because he doesn't know his worth outside of work—and the powerful moment when he finds himself through the Core Emotion Wheel. This episode will transform how you approach conflict, whether it's with your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, or your extended family. Because the goal isn't to change what you like or agree on everything—it's to see each other. Resources mentioned: Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesPrograms referenced: Clarity Reset (for identity work and emotion processing): https://www.connectioncodes.co/clarity-resetFoundations Masterclass: https://www.connectioncodes.co/foundationsLate Night Program: https://www.connectioncodes.co/late-night

    59 min
  7. 12/09/2025

    "I'd Rather Be Alone Than Feel Alone": Why Loneliness Isn't What You Think & What Actually Helps

    What if the real problem isn't being alone, but feeling alone when someone's standing right in front of you? In this powerful conversation, we're diving deep into one of the most misunderstood emotions: loneliness. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis just returned from an incredible journey through Europe, and they're sharing fresh insights about what loneliness actually is, why it's so damaging to our health, and most importantly—what actually helps. Here's what might surprise you: the solution to loneliness isn't being around more people. In fact, you can feel most lonely in a crowded room, at a family dinner, or even lying next to your spouse. This episode will help you understand why relational absence is far more painful than geographical absence, and how the "still face" we give each other—even unintentionally—creates chronic pain that affects our marriages, parenting, and overall wellbeing. You'll hear a jaw-dropping story about a dad who went home from a Connection Codes event and used one simple tool (the "ooh") to transform his child's middle-of-the-night meltdowns from 45 minutes of chaos to 2 minutes of connection. This is the power of being emotionally present instead of just physically present. Key Topics: - Why loneliness is more damaging to your health than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day - The difference between geographical absence and relational absence - How the "still face experiment" reveals what we're all experiencing in our relationships - Why going to a hotel alone can feel better than being home with your family - The chronic loneliness of modern parenting and partnership - How to identify loneliness when it's hiding beneath anger and frustration - What your brain actually needs when loneliness fires (hint: it's not a crowd) - Practical tools to move from isolation to genuine connection This episode is for you if: - You feel exhausted doing everything by yourself even though people are around - You'd rather be alone than feel alone with your family - You're experiencing chronic irritation and don't know why - You want to stop the cycle of loneliness in your home - You're ready to understand what your emotions are actually telling you The Connection Codes aren't just theory—they're tools that work immediately when you implement them. Whether you're a parent trying to connect with your kids, a spouse feeling disconnected, or someone navigating the holiday season with a deep sense of isolation, this episode will give you clarity and actionable steps forward. Resources Mentioned: - The Still Face Experiment- Connection Codes events in Europe - Cincinnati event testimonials - Upcoming 2026 events Ready to go deeper? Get the Core Emotion Wheel - The foundational tool for processing emotions and creating connection www.connectioncodes.co/podcast Book a Connection Codes Certified Coach - Work one-on-one with someone trained in these tools https://connectioncodes.co/coaches Want to bring Connection Codes to your church, business, or organization? Email us! We're booking events for 2026 and would love to come to your community. Keywords: loneliness, emotional health, mental health, marriage communication, parenting tools, emotional regulation, connection, isolation, relationship advice, family therapy, chronic loneliness, emotional intelligence, still face experiment, authentic vulnerability, emotional presence, marriage help, parenting struggles, mental wellness, emotional awareness, relational connection

    48 min
  8. 12/02/2025

    From Fear to Freedom: A Marriage Coach's Journey to Breakthrough Sexual Connection | With Dan Purcell

    Episode Description:What if one vulnerable conversation could completely transform your marriage? Dan Purcell, marriage intimacy coach and creator of the Intimately Us app, shares the pivotal moment when a friend's honesty about his sex life turned Dan's world upside down—and ultimately changed the trajectory of his marriage and career.In this raw and honest conversation, Dan opens up about growing up in a conservative environment where sex was taboo, the anxiety that carried into his marriage, and the courage it took to have a five-hour vulnerable conversation with his wife at 9 PM that didn't end until 2 AM. What emerged wasn't just better sex—it was better communication, better parenting, and a completely different level of connection.Glenn and Phyllis explore with Dan the common barriers that keep couples from experiencing rich intimacy, the danger of viewing yourself as superior to your spouse, and why solving sexual problems requires "second-order change"—not just redecorating the kitchen, but remodeling it entirely. Key Topics:- Mental health and emotional vulnerability in marriage- Breaking through sexual shame and conservative upbringings- The courage required for authentic conversations about intimacy- Desire discrepancy and what really causes it- How superiority thinking destroys sexual connection- Moving from transactional to transformational intimacy- The power of one vulnerable conversation to change everything- Creating play and creativity in your sex life- Leadership development through emotional honesty What You'll Learn:- Why most couples miss on authentic connection (even when they think they're doing fine)- How to have the scary conversation that could transform your marriage- The real reason behind sexual desire discrepancy (hint: it's not about being too busy)- Why solution-oriented approaches often backfire in intimacy- How to move from wearing masks to true vulnerability with your spouse- Practical tools and games to bring playfulness back to foreplay About Our Guest: Dan Purcell is a marriage intimacy coach who helps couples create deeper sexual and emotional connection. After a career-changing conversation eight years ago, he developed the Intimately Us app and now coaches couples full-time, helping them experience breakthrough moments in their marriages. Get your free resources: getyourmarriageon.com/connection-codes - 100 Creative Ways to Initiate Sex guide - 101 Ways to Have Sex guide - Jump Start Guide (books, articles, podcasts, frameworks) Get Your Free Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast Ready to Transform Your Marriage? Book a Connection Codes certified coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

    52 min
4.9
out of 5
218 Ratings

About

We often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and frustration. We don't know how to convey how we feel OR we burst out and create even more pain. Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill have spent years researching human connection and how to break that cycle. The Connection Codes is the guide to helping couples conquer conflict and it is the tool to break the cycle of pain and live in peace together. Hosted by Tera Wages of the I Get It podcast. For free resources to a better marriage go to https://www.connectioncodes.co/

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