14 episodes

Imagine you could listen in on those unfiltered conversations about what is actually happening inside someone's friendships, community, and support system...How someone navigated a friendship breakup even though they still see that friend often. What does balancing marriage, friends, and family look like, and who is someone calling when they need support? A parent who is wholly overwhelmed but doesn't have any family that lives nearby. Do they need to move back to their hometown? How might they build a support system from friends and the nearby community? Alex Alexander asks the questions we all want to ask and unearths a new way to think about community, friendship, and the support systems we surround ourselves with. "Doing things the way they've always been done" has left us all at our loneliest and most disconnected. So, ask the questions. Reimagine your relationships. Build yourself a better version. Take the conversation beyond the podcast! Follow Alex on Instagram (@itsalexalexander) or Tiktok (@itsalexalexander), or send her a voice message directly with all your friendship thoughts, problems, and triumphs by heading to AlexAlex.chat and hitting record. New episodes release weekly on Thursdays.

Friendship IRL Alex Alexander

    • Society & Culture
    • 5.0 • 29 Ratings

Imagine you could listen in on those unfiltered conversations about what is actually happening inside someone's friendships, community, and support system...How someone navigated a friendship breakup even though they still see that friend often. What does balancing marriage, friends, and family look like, and who is someone calling when they need support? A parent who is wholly overwhelmed but doesn't have any family that lives nearby. Do they need to move back to their hometown? How might they build a support system from friends and the nearby community? Alex Alexander asks the questions we all want to ask and unearths a new way to think about community, friendship, and the support systems we surround ourselves with. "Doing things the way they've always been done" has left us all at our loneliest and most disconnected. So, ask the questions. Reimagine your relationships. Build yourself a better version. Take the conversation beyond the podcast! Follow Alex on Instagram (@itsalexalexander) or Tiktok (@itsalexalexander), or send her a voice message directly with all your friendship thoughts, problems, and triumphs by heading to AlexAlex.chat and hitting record. New episodes release weekly on Thursdays.

    There’s No “One-Size-Fits-All” Version of Social Wellness, with Lizzie Braicks-Rinker

    There’s No “One-Size-Fits-All” Version of Social Wellness, with Lizzie Braicks-Rinker

    TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains some sensitive topics around the loss of a parent.

    Today I’m with my dear friend, Lizzie Braicks-Rinker, a wellness brand strategist and holistic health and fitness coach.

    We met in college, baking pie in the dorm basement, and bonded quickly; I told Lizzie my mom had passed away. She told me hers had cancer. We were at different stages in our lives than our peers, and because of this, had different needs and perspectives on wellness than they did, too.

    In 2022, Lizzie gave a TED Talk on Mother’s Day about the difference between wellness and physical health. Her beliefs stemmed from her experience in college, when, on paper, she was extremely healthy – she was vegan, she was on the rowing team – and yet, she was having panic attacks and chronic pain due to the wellness pieces that were missing in her life.

    In this episode, Lizzie and I talk a lot about holistic wellness – especially social wellness, of course – and how, really, there is no one-size-fits-all recipe.

    In this episode you’ll hear about:
    The eight pillars of holistic wellness (emotional, physical, occupational, social, spiritual, intellectual, environmental, financial) vs. the wellness industrial complexHow self-care looks different for everybody – it could involve playing with your dogs, getting your finances in order, or building a community support systemWhy social wellness is often left off the priority list of wellnessHow health (especially social health) – doesn’t have to be linear; for example, your social needs might be higher in the summer than they are in the winterCreating the “third option” instead of accepting social obligations you’re just not into – or, creating INTENTION in these obligations so they feel fulfilling to youWho is your true self vs. your ideal self? Plus, the importance of taking baby stepsResources & Links

    Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram!

    Be sure to check out Lizzie’s TED Talk and the book she recommended in this episode, The Worthy Project by Meadow DeVor, and follow her on Instagram and check out her website.

    Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

    • 1 hr 7 min
    Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots

    Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots

    About three years ago, many of my friends moved away within a six month period.

    While I was excited for these friends, I also grieved; my friends are my main support system, my family. How would I keep these friendships alive? I invested a lot of energy into thinking about it, through which I developed what I’m tentatively calling the “Your People” framework.

    The best way to think about this framework is to imagine a tree. Trees start as seeds, and then you provide them with nutrients and soil. Over time, trees grow roots. Some roots get really thick and strong; some grow deep. Some grow offshoots. The more roots that grow, the more stable the tree.

    In my friendship theory, there are three kinds of roots, which I’ll dig into today. My hope is that this framework and language helps people think about these relationships and consider what actions to take to build better versions of our friendships.

    Want more information? Visit my website!

    In this episode you’ll hear about:
    SHARED EXPERIENCE ROOTS and their offshoot roots – i.e., when you’re doing something related to the shared experience root, but in a way you’re comfortableEMOTIONAL INTIMACY ROOTS – what we know about our friends and our shared memories – plus shared/overlapping history roots and big/small intimaciesSTORY ROOTS – the beliefs you have about your friendships, and how we come to develop those beliefsHow letting roots (i.e., friendships) die is not a bad thing – we can’t be in high school geometry class forever – but it doesn’t mean it’s not a sad thingHow to keep these friendships thriving as we grow and change, and how to replace dead story routes with simpler, more straightforward story rootsOne of the biggest problems when it comes to adult friendships – plus, the REAL foundations of these friendshipsResources & Links

    Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

    Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

    • 47 min
    How to Make Friends as a Grown-Up

    How to Make Friends as a Grown-Up

    Today’s episode is about how to make friends – namely, the REALITY we find ourselves in when seeking friendship as grown-ups. How we do it now is going to be different from how we did it as children, teenagers, and young adults – but in a GOOD way.

    A friend recently said to me, “The way you talk about making friends sounds kind of like dating.” And, well, that’s because it kind of is.

    But it doesn’t need to be that way. There’s value in even our simplest connections, so let’s get rid of that pressure and just enjoy meeting new people, trying new things, and connecting in new ways.

    In this episode you’ll hear about:
    The amount of pressure we put on romantic partners vs. friendships – and why, when making friends in real life, it’s better to expect lessHow friendship in media (movies, social media, books, TV) is curated to create drama or dream situations – this is often not real life!The realities behind the “pick-up-where-we-left-off friends” and the “friends that will always be there for us” How making friends and maintaining friendships requires staying curious, taking small risks, paying attention, showing up, and using our time, energy, and resourcesSpending time thinking about the kinds of new friends you want to make – i.e., what do you want to do with your friends? What do you want to connect over?How to get unstuck with “defined friends” by letting them into other parts of our lives and creating new shared experience routesResources & Links

    Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

    Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out! 

    • 35 min
    Simple Ways For Improving Social Wellness in the New Year (+ a Sneak Peek of My Book)

    Simple Ways For Improving Social Wellness in the New Year (+ a Sneak Peek of My Book)

    Full disclosure: I am a “set-your-goals” kind of person.

    I used to get a little out of control with goal setting each year, thinking everything was going to be different overnight. But of course, real life isn’t like that!

    In this episode, I want to talk about friendship communities and how to improve them in small, sustainable ways this year. What are the ways we can check in with ourselves? What are the factors – actions, habits, everyday changes – we can alter to improve our relationships in 2023?

    You’ll also get a sneak peek of my new book (well … an abbreviated version, anyway!) and I hope that once you employ the advice in this episode, you feel like you’re on your way to impact change in your life and become the person you want to be.

    Thank you so much for being here on this adventure with me. I’m really excited about 2023 and all that’s ahead of us.

    In this episode you’ll hear about:
    Using a “word of the year” to set goals and create a friendship vision for the new year Three check-ins to find those small, everyday habits that will get you closer to your new year visionFocusing in on time, including habits and boundaries; what can you add/trade/cut? Different ways you can show up for friends this year (running errands, answering questions, making introductions, cooking, etc.)How to cut out the “admin time” in terms of get-togethers and be more present Simplifying and auditing communication so it actually works for you and your people

    • 40 min
    Five Ways to Connect with Friends During the Holiday Season

    Five Ways to Connect with Friends During the Holiday Season

    I used to be a bit of a Grinch around the holidays. My family of origin story is not the best – and in fact, this season used to give me panic attacks.

    Luckily, I’m well past those days, and part of the reason is I began spending the holidays with friends! For a long time, I tried to be subtle about my lack of holiday plans, casually asking friends what they were doing, seeing if they’d invite me.

    But once I was finally HONEST about my situation – saying something along the lines of, “I don’t want to go home for the holidays. Can I go with you instead?” – it completely changed the holidays for me.

    This is typically a family-forward season, which is great, but you probably have other people in your life who you’d like to make memories with during the holidays. So, for today’s episode, I’ve compiled a list of tips for how to make time with friends this time of year.

    In this episode you’ll hear about:
    Five ways to connect with your friends this holiday seasonWays to “opt out” of the things you’re not interested in or would feel burdened by  How traditions can actually save time and help you feel like you belongThree different formats to create a tradition (pick it all, pick a date, create a series)Doing “the necessary” to-do list items with friends (for example, holiday shopping, wrapping presents) instead of going at it aloneHow to make sure you or your friends have a place to go for the holidays Resources & Links

    Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

    Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

    • 21 min
    How To Build a Friendship Community for Your Family

    How To Build a Friendship Community for Your Family

    If this episode has a theme, it’s this: the adults in the room need to put on their air masks first.

    Today I’m talking with my friend Adrienne, who I meet with every week to chat about business. Adrienne is married and the mom of two children, one in preschool, one in elementary school.

    Adrienne is in the thick of trying to build a friendship community for her family. Here, she shares what’s working and what’s not. In my mind, what she’s doing is advanced community building, in part because it’s in her own needs. She wants people around she can depend on so she doesn’t feel alone raising her kids.

    A lot of people tell me they never saw their parents have friends. Maybe they were part of a local group or a place of worship, but their parents never took those relationships outside of that one place.

    My thoughts? Even if you live near family, you still might benefit from community support.

    In this episode you’ll hear about:
    How finding adult friends with shared interests is more sustainable than letting kids run the show, as kids’ interests are more malleableShared experience roots – and how this can make entering into a friendship community that already exists difficultHow offering small intimacies – inviting someone to your unclean house, for example – shows you’re human and offers the other person the opportunity to do the sameAn overview of the “community conversation” Adrienne had with the families in her neighborhoodInvesting in your own friendships, and why this models to children how to navigate and maintain friendships for themselvesHow being part of a family’s community doesn’t always mean watching kids; it can involve taking apart a swing set or being an emergency contact, etc.Resources & Links

    Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

    Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

    • 1 hr 5 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
29 Ratings

29 Ratings

JumDarin ,

So inspiring and cheerful

I’m in my early thirties and married, but no kids. I feel something is missing from my life.
Then I listened to your podcast. Your words inspire me. Yes, the missing piece is friendship, what I am looking for.
I went to a friend's wedding yesterday and made new friends. We laughed and talked. It ended up creating a group meeting for next weekend. I felt that friendship filled my whole empty life.
Keep doing your podcast. I can’t wait to listen for more!!

yaboilevy ,

So Inspirational!

I recently had moved from Portugal to the USA and I felt like I was leaving everything behind. It was then when I found out how special friends really are in our lives. The other day, i came across my “memory lane” wall which is decorated with dozens of pics/memories from me & my friends. I just about broke down right then and there. Then I ran into this podcast and I feel like this is a good way to restart. Who knows, this may even help me to be a better friend then I was before! #reboot #cheerstoanewbeginning

meglau11 ,

Great podcast for those who want tips for making their friendships as adults better!

Love this podcast with actionable tips to make friendships in adulthood better! With everything that’s happened over the past three years I feel like I’m starting over in a lot of new friendships/struggling to maintain some longer ones but this podcast has great advice for both situations. The host, Alex, is very knowledgeable and conversational which makes it even more fun to listen to. I really look forward to the new episode each week!

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