How To Love Yourself No Matter What

Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
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You’re trying so hard to make life work… and it still feels like something’s missing. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, taken the advice — but somehow, you’re still stuck. You’re smart, capable, and self-aware, yet you can’t shake the feeling you’re surviving instead of living. This podcast is for deep-feeling women who are done holding it all together and ready to finally feel at home in their own skin. Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares honest coaching, personal stories, and practical tools to help you: Get out of your head and into your life Stop managing your emotions like a full-time job Build self-trust that lasts Live on your terms — without apology If you’ve ever felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time, you’ll hear yourself in every episode — and discover how to love yourself no matter what. 📅 New episodes every Thursday.

  1. 4D AGO

    306. Deciding You Are Relevant - How To Stop Feeling Invisible In Your Life

    What if the reason you feel invisible… isn’t actually about other people? In this episode, I’m sharing something that came up in a coaching session — and it hit deeper than I expected. Because while most of us wouldn’t say “I feel irrelevant,” we feel it in subtle ways: When someone doesn’t listen to usWhen we don’t feel validatedWhen we feel overlooked in conversationsWhen our reactions feel bigger than the moment And what I realized is this: You only feel irrelevant when you treat yourself like you are. In this episode, I break down how this shows up, why it triggers such strong emotional reactions, and how to take your power back — without needing anyone else to change. In This Episode, I Cover:Why “feeling invisible” is more common than you thinkThe hidden belief underneath emotional reactionsHow quickly we internalize other people’s behaviorThe difference between external validation and internal relevanceWhy you don’t need permission to matterHow to stop fighting for relevance — and start owning itThe pattern that keeps repeating in relationships (and how to break it)Why reactivity keeps you stuck — and curiosity moves you forwardHow to get your needs met without escalating conflict Key TakeawayYou are not relevant because other people validate you. You are relevant because you decide you are. When you stop outsourcing your worth and start leading yourself from that place — everything changes: Your reactions. Your relationships. Your confidence. Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

    9 min

  2. MAR 19

    305. Feeling Overwhelmed? Plant Yourself in the Moment

    This episode is a little different. It’s actually a practice I shared with my private clients this week while I’m in Hawaii — and I wanted to bring it here because it’s something you can use in real time when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in your head. This is about what I call planting yourself in the moment. So many of us live in our thoughts — spinning, analyzing, anticipating — and it pulls us out of our bodies and away from ourselves. This practice is a simple way to come back. It helps you move out of your mind and into your body using your senses, your breath, and a few grounding thoughts that remind you: you’re safe, nothing has gone wrong, and you can be with yourself here. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to regulate your nervous system and support yourself through hard moments. In This Episode We Talk About • What it means to “plant yourself in the moment” • How to use your senses to ground yourself anywhere • A simple breathing pattern to calm your body • The role of safety-based thoughts in nervous system regulation • Why getting out of your head and into your body changes everything • How to be present with yourself even when you’re experiencing discomfort Key Takeaway You can feel grounded and safe even in the middle of a difficult emotion. When you learn to bring yourself back into the present moment — instead of getting lost in your thoughts — your nervous system settles, your body softens, and you reconnect with yourself. Nothing has gone wrong. This is just a feeling. And you can be with yourself through it. Ready to Go Deeper? If this resonated and you want support applying this work in your own life, I’d love to help. You can book a discovery call with me and we’ll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together is a good fit. Book here: amandahess.ca/bookacall

    3 min

  3. MAR 12

    304. 50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 More Lessons for Sensitive Women (Boundaries, Resentment & Choosing Yourself)

    In episode 302, I shared the first 10 lessons I’ve learned from living 50 years with a sensitive nervous system. Today we’re continuing with the next 10. These lessons are about something I think many sensitive women struggle with: emotional adulthood. Many of us are technically adults, but we’re still letting the hurt version of us, the teenage version of us, or the people-pleasing version of us lead our lives. And when that happens, we end up exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from ourselves. Learning emotional responsibility changes everything. It means recognizing that your feelings are yours to care for. It means setting boundaries instead of quietly crossing them and then feeling resentful. It means advocating for yourself even when it’s uncomfortable. These are lessons I learned the hard way — through relationships, mistakes, and a lot of personal growth. My hope is that by sharing them with you, you might learn them a little more gently. If you’ve ever struggled with resentment, over-explaining yourself, feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, or performing in order to be accepted, this episode will help you see those patterns more clearly. And once you see them, you can start choosing something different. In This Episode We Talk About• Why other people are not responsible for your feelings • How resentment often means you’re crossing your own boundaries • Why over-explaining is usually fear of rejection • Why advocating for yourself might make people uncomfortable — and why that’s okay • How you can disappoint someone and still be a good person • Why being “low maintenance” is often conditioning, not a personality trait • The difference between being needed and being valued • Why you don’t need to be relevant — you need to be important to yourself • How to recognize when you’re performing instead of living • Why you will almost never regret choosing yourself Key TakeawayEmotional adulthood begins the moment you stop trying to manage everyone else’s feelings and start taking responsibility for your own. When you learn to set boundaries, validate yourself, and choose what actually matters to you, your life becomes more peaceful, more powerful, and far more fulfilling. Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s how you stop leaking your energy everywhere and start building a life that actually feels good to live. Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your own life, you can book a discovery call with me. We’ll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit. Book here: amandahess.ca/bookacall

    12 min

  4. MAR 5

    303. The Real Reason Adult Friendships Feel So Hard

    Many women say they want deeper friendships. They want their people — the women they can laugh with, text, and go for coffee or brunch with. But there’s a hidden pattern that quietly blocks connection. When we walk into rooms believing that nobody likes us, we become hyper-focused on ourselves — how we’re being perceived, whether we’re awkward, whether we said the wrong thing. And when our attention is turned inward like that, it becomes almost impossible to actually connect with someone else. Real friendship doesn’t grow out of self-consciousness or performance. It grows out of curiosity, generosity, and genuine interest in another person. In this episode, I talk about the mindset patterns that make adult friendship harder than it needs to be — and what actually creates meaningful connection. I also share the simple framework I use with my coaching clients to understand how friendships develop over time and why so many women unintentionally put pressure on the wrong relationships. If you’ve ever felt like everyone else has friends except you, or like making friends as an adult feels confusing or exhausting, this episode will help you see what’s really going on — and how to start approaching connection in a healthier, more empowering way. In This Episode We Talk AboutWhy believing “nobody likes me” makes connection almost impossibleHow insecurity creates self-focus that blocks real friendshipThe difference between collecting friends and building relationshipsWhy adult friendships feel harder than friendships earlier in lifeThe three “friendship buckets” that explain how friendships actually formWhy putting pressure on a few people to become your friends often backfiresThe importance of growing your self-relationship so friendships can form naturallyHow vulnerability and invitations create opportunities for connectionWhy genuine curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for building friendships Key TakeawayFriendship isn’t something you acquire or secure. It’s something you build — one conversation, one interaction, and one genuine connection at a time. The question isn’t “Do they like me?” The real question is: “Am I showing up with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to connect?” Ready to Go Deeper?If you’re ready to work on your relationship with yourself — the foundation for every relationship in your life — you can book a discovery call with me. We'll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit. Book here: amandahess.ca/bookacall

    20 min

  5. FEB 26

    302. 50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 Lessons for Sensitive Women

    I turned 50 this week. And I’ll be honest — this birthday feels different. There’s awareness. There’s fear. There’s grief. And there’s a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties. In this episode, I’m starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive woman in 2026 — not just how to survive, but how to thrive. Today, I’m giving you the first 10. These are the foundational lessons — the ones about your nervous system, your emotions, your responsibility, and your capacity. Because if you don’t understand how you’re wired, you will misunderstand your entire life. In This Episode, I Cover:Why sensitivity is not a flaw (even if it’s been treated like one)How your nervous system drives your reactionsWhy emotions are messengers — not problemsThe difference between regulation and suppressionWhy other people are not responsible for your feelingsHow to stop f*****g yourself overWhy joy must be cultivatedHow to move with fear instead of shrinking from itWhy friendship takes work (especially at midlife)What loving yourself actually requiresWhy focusing on what you want MORE of changes everything Key TakeawayBeing a sensitive woman in 2026 is not about hardening yourself. It’s about building emotional capacity. It’s about regulating your nervous system instead of reacting from it. It’s about becoming unwilling to betray yourself. Turning 50 hasn’t made me less sensitive. It’s made me more skilled. And skill changes everything. Continue the SeriesThis is Part 1 of a 5-part birthday series: 50 Things I Know at 50 About Being a Sensitive Woman in 2026 Stay tuned for Part 2 next week. Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

    17 min

  6. FEB 21

    301. The Missing Half of Emotional Wellness: Why Fixing Yourself Isn’t the Answer

    If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself for years… this episode might change everything. So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing: Getting rid of what’s wrong. The anxiety. The stress. The overthinking. The guilt. The burnout. The trauma. And while support matters, here’s what’s missing: You cannot build a thriving life by only trying to eliminate what hurts. In this episode, I’m teaching a core concept I walk my private clients through — the emotional teeter-totter — and why balance, not eradication, is the real goal. Because life is 50/50. Your brain is wired to scan for danger. And trying to remove every uncomfortable emotion will keep you stuck in survival mode. Instead, we need to learn how to build the other side. Joy. Pleasure. Excitement. Belonging. Desire. Purpose. When you intentionally build those, everything changes. ✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:Why “fixing yourself” can actually make you feel worseHow self-help sometimes overemphasizes what’s brokenThe 50/50 nature of emotional life (and why it’s normal)How your primitive brain keeps you in survival modeThe emotional teeter-totter analogy that explains everythingWhy eliminating stress isn’t the goalHow to build emotional capacity instead of avoidanceThe difference between tolerating emotions and processing themWhy creating joy is a skill (not a luxury)How doing hard, scary things on purpose builds empowermentWhy pleasure, excitement, and fulfillment are your responsibility 💛 The TruthYour life won’t feel better because you finally eliminate anxiety. It will feel better because you’ve learned how to: Feel anxiety without collapsingCreate joy on purposeBuild balance instead of chasing perfectionEmpower yourself emotionally You don’t need to become stress-free. You need to become emotionally stronger and more intentional about building what you want. 🌿 Want to Go Deeper?If this resonates and you want help applying this to your real life: 📍 Book a consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacall You don’t have to keep running on the “fixing” treadmill. 🎧 If You Loved This EpisodeShare it with someone who’s tired of trying to repair themselves. And if this podcast supports you, leaving a review helps more women find this work.

    17 min

  7. FEB 12

    300. Love Yourself No Matter What (My Most Important Message Yet)

    Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300. When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared: Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything. Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations. It’s about learning how to be safe with yourself. It’s about learning how to support yourself when you’re struggling… how to regulate your nervous system… how to stop spiraling into shame… and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else. In this episode, I’m walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life — even if you feel like you’ve tried everything. This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace. And if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is “wrong” with you… This episode is for you. ✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:Why self-love is still deeply misunderstoodThe difference between being loving vs. being permissiveWhy so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhaustedHow perfectionism and pressure keep you stuckMy personal rock bottom — and what I was told about myselfHow nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for “something wrong with you”Why learning to love yourself creates emotional safetyThe “abused puppy” metaphor that explains healing perfectlyHow self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiralingWhy your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourselfHow to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you don’t feel lovable) 💛 Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your life, I’d love to talk with you. 📍 Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall 🎧 Loved this Episode?If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review — it helps more women find this work and start healing too.

    22 min

  8. FEB 5

    299. Why You Don’t Feel Like You Belong (Even When You’re Included)

    Show notes coming soon

    14 min
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About

You’re trying so hard to make life work… and it still feels like something’s missing. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, taken the advice — but somehow, you’re still stuck. You’re smart, capable, and self-aware, yet you can’t shake the feeling you’re surviving instead of living. This podcast is for deep-feeling women who are done holding it all together and ready to finally feel at home in their own skin. Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares honest coaching, personal stories, and practical tools to help you: Get out of your head and into your life Stop managing your emotions like a full-time job Build self-trust that lasts Live on your terms — without apology If you’ve ever felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time, you’ll hear yourself in every episode — and discover how to love yourself no matter what. 📅 New episodes every Thursday.

Information

  • Creator
    Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    313
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 How To Love Yourself No Matter What
  • Show Website
    How To Love Yourself No Matter What

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