The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

  1. 20H AGO

    Holidays With a Covert Narcissist: When Survival Replaces Celebration

    In this episode, Renee Swanson discusses the challenges of navigating holidays with a covert narcissist, emphasizing the emotional toll it takes on family members. She explores the concept of survival in these relationships, the importance of self-care, and encourages listeners to shift from merely surviving to thriving in their lives. The conversation highlights the need for awareness and understanding of emotional manipulation, and the significance of prioritizing one's own well-being. Takeaways: The holidays with a covert narcissist feel like survival, not joy. Emotional preparation is necessary for family gatherings. The cost of not trying to manage the environment is too high. Self-care is essential and not selfish. Surviving the holidays does not equate to feeling fulfilled. Emotional containment is an invisible burden. A calm holiday does not mean peace in the heart. Self-care allows for better relationships with others. Guilt often stems from external blame, not personal failure. Moving from survival to thriving is a vital journey. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    20 min

  2. 3D AGO

    Covert Narcissist: The Grinch Who Steals It All

    In this Christmas-themed episode, Renee Swanson explores the impact of covert narcissism on personal relationships, particularly during the holiday season. Using the metaphor of the Grinch, she discusses how covert narcissists can subtly steal joy, anticipation, and traditions, leaving individuals feeling hollow and anxious. However, she emphasizes the importance of community and reclaiming one's truth, integrity, and peace, encouraging listeners to recognize their strength and the joy that can still exist despite past trauma. Takeaways: Humor grounded in truth can be healing. Covert narcissists often appear friendly but drain joy. They steal emotional peace rather than physical items. Anticipation for joyful events can turn into dread. Community support is crucial for healing. Your truth and integrity remain intact despite abuse. Healing is a personal journey that can be complicated. Recognizing patterns of abuse brings clarity. Peace belongs to the present, not the past. Christmas can be redefined on your own terms. Chapters: 00:00 A Different Kind of Christmas 00:54 Understanding the Covert Narcissist 02:39 The Grinch's Stealing Tactics 07:25 The Power of Community 11:16 Reclaiming Your Truth 12:41 Finding Peace and Joy DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    16 min

  3. DEC 21

    Covert Narcissism in Marriage: The “Try Harder” Myth That Traps You

    Covert narcissism in marriage keeps survivors trapped by the belief that if they just tried harder, the relationship would finally improve. If you’re exhausted from over-functioning, self-blame, and emotional gymnastics in a narcissistic marriage, this episode is for anyone questioning whether the problem was ever really you. In this episode, we unpack one of the most damaging beliefs in narcissistic abuse: “If you leave, it’s because you didn’t try hard enough.” This myth quietly traps survivors of covert narcissism in marriage in endless self-audits—replaying conversations, shrinking needs, managing emotions, and proving effort—while the other person remains largely unchanged. We explore why trying harder in an emotionally abusive relationship often means abandoning yourself more completely, not saving the marriage. We also talk about the toll this dynamic takes on your nervous system, including chronic stress, hypervigilance, jaw clenching, insomnia, digestive issues, and emotional exhaustion. Healing and emotional abuse recovery begin when you recognize that effort without empathy is not partnership—and leaving is not failure. In this episode, we cover: Why covert narcissism in marriage creates chronic self-blame The “try harder” myth and how it keeps survivors stuck in narcissistic abuse How emotional abuse leads to trauma responses like hypervigilance, tension, and fatigue Why over-functioning doesn’t create safety or connection Reframing leaving as self-preservation, not quitting DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min

  4. DEC 18

    Covert Narcissism Recovery: How You Know Healing Is Happening

    Covert narcissism recovery often shows up quietly—through internal safety, self-trust, and a nervous system that no longer lives on high alert. Many survivors wonder how to tell whether they’re actually healing, especially when there’s no closure, no apology, and no clear “finish line.” This episode shifts the focus away from the covert narcissist and back to you—helping you understand the subtle but powerful signs that healing is taking root. In this episode, we explore: Why healing isn’t a milestone, but a shift in internal safety How recovery continues even without closure or acknowledgment What it means to feel safer inside your own body and mind The connection between nervous system regulation and healing How self-talk changes as recovery progresses Why perfectionism fades as internal safety grows How emotions stop feeling like emergencies and become information Three simple check-ins to stay focused on your healing path: body, thoughts, and feelings This episode is for anyone recovering from covert narcissistic abuse who wants reassurance, clarity, and grounded guidance on what healing actually looks like—without waiting for anyone else to change. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Healing from Covert Narcissism 02:43 The Importance of Internal Safety 06:25 Recognizing Signs of Healing 09:39 Practicing Self-Compassion and Acceptance 12:54 Honoring Your Limits and Emotions 16:30 Distinguishing Healing from Numbness 17:52 Practical Steps for Healing THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min

  5. DEC 14

    Covert Narcissism and Trauma: Why You and Your Kids Stop Talking

    Covert narcissism and trauma quietly teach adults and children that silence feels safer than honesty. If you’ve noticed yourself going quiet, choosing your words carefully, or avoiding hard conversations altogether — or you’re watching your children withdraw, shut down, or stop sharing — this episode explains why that happens and what safety actually has to do with healing. In this episode, we explore: Why people stop talking in emotionally unsafe relationships How covert narcissistic dynamics punish honesty without obvious aggression The different types of safety required for healing (physical, emotional, psychological, and conversational) How children learn when it is — and isn’t — safe to speak Everyday examples of unsafe vs. safe responses in adult and parent-child conversations Why silence is often a trauma response, not a lack of caring What begins to change when safety is slowly restored This episode is for anyone who has lived in the confusion of covert narcissism, emotional abuse, or chronic invalidation — and for parents who want to understand what helps their children feel safe enough to heal and speak again. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    28 min

  6. DEC 11

    The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 2: How to Calm a Dysregulated Nervous System After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

    In Part 1, we uncovered the surprising physical symptoms of trauma that often go unnoticed — the jaw tension, the tinnitus, the eye twitching, the constant bracing your body learned to do in order to survive covert narcissistic abuse. In Part 2, we continue that conversation by focusing on three symptoms that confuse survivors the most: chest tightness — that “heart armor” feeling that makes it hard to breathe digestive issues — nausea, bloating, IBS patterns, or a stomach that shuts down under stress sleep disturbances — difficulty falling asleep, nighttime hyperarousal, and waking in panic These symptoms are some of the most deeply misunderstood — and often dismissed by medical providers who see “normal” test results but don’t understand trauma physiology. This episode breaks down why these symptoms happen, what your nervous system is trying to communicate through them, and how these reactions form in unsafe emotional environments. We’ll also explore the deeper theme underlying it all: Your body communicates through discomfort. Just like hunger isn’t a malfunction, your trauma symptoms aren’t malfunctions either — they are messages. Part 2 gives clarity, validation, and the beginning steps for understanding what your body has been trying to tell you for years. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    21 min

  7. DEC 7

    The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 1: How Covert Narcissism Shows Up in Your Body

    When you live in the backwards, upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse, your body often understands the danger long before your mind can name it. The symptoms you thought were “random,” “weird,” or “just stress” were actually your nervous system trying to protect you. In this episode, we explore the physical signs you didn’t recognize as trauma responses — the jaw tension, the chest tightness, the digestive issues, the sleep disruptions, the ringing in your ears, and even that twitchy eyelid that sent you down a Google rabbit hole at 2 a.m. You’ll hear why these symptoms appear, how covert narcissistic environments activate chronic fight-or-flight, and why your medical tests may have come back “normal” even though your body felt anything but normal. And most importantly — you’ll learn that these symptoms are not defects. They are intelligent survival signals. They are the truth your body carried for you. This episode will validate your experience, deepen your understanding of the trauma response, and help you see your body not as the problem — but as your greatest ally. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min

  8. DEC 4

    How to Talk to Your Adult Children About a Covert Narcissistic Parent Without Badmouthing

    Talking to your adult children about a covert narcissistic parent is one of the hardest and most emotionally loaded challenges survivors face. You’re carrying years of truth inside you — experiences that shaped your life, your self-concept, your safety, and in many cases, the childhood environment your kids grew up in. And yet, speaking that truth openly can feel dangerous. It can feel like badmouthing. It can feel like you’re putting your children in the middle. It can feel like you’re betraying them or burdening them. But silence isn’t healing either. And your children will eventually have questions — real, hard, vulnerable questions. In this episode, we break down exactly how to navigate those conversations with honesty, clarity, and emotional integrity. You’ll learn how to talk about your lived experience without attacking their other parent, how to answer direct questions using grounded truth rather than character statements, and how to model the healthy communication and relational skills your children never got to see growing up. We explore: Why defending yourself often backfires — and what to do instead How to focus on values rather than the other parent’s behavior How to give your children the freedom to think for themselves How to model emotional safety, regulation, accountability, and repair What to say when they ask, “Why did you leave?” or “Did you fight a lot?” How your healing teaches them more than your explanations ever will This episode is filled with real stories, practical examples, and compassionate guidance for every parent walking the tightrope between truth and protection. If you feel misunderstood by your adult children, if you’ve been unfairly judged, or if you're afraid to say the wrong thing — this conversation will help you find your footing again. Because you can talk to your children about what happened. You can honor your truth without dishonoring theirs. And you can be the safe, grounded parent they return to as they begin making sense of their own story. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    28 min
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

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