The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav
  • 4.8 (676)
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

  1. 20H AGO

    Covert Narcissistic Dynamics: Is This Normal Marriage Struggles or More Than That?

    This episode explores how to tell the difference between normal marriage struggles and covert narcissistic dynamics. We focus on the subtle patterns that create confusion, self-doubt, and the fear that you might be overreacting or expecting too much. Many people living inside covert narcissistic dynamics aren’t dealing with constant conflict or obvious cruelty. Instead, they’re navigating moments that almost feel normal—disagreements that never resolve, conversations that leave them questioning their memory, and attempts at grace that are never returned. Over time, that confusion becomes exhausting. In this episode, we walk through real-life examples of healthy conflict versus covert control, paying close attention to what happens when you offer softness, uncertainty, or benefit of the doubt. We talk about why mutual grace is a defining feature of healthy relationships—and what it means when that grace only flows in one direction. This conversation isn’t about labeling your partner or diagnosing a relationship. It’s about giving you language for what you feel, helping you notice patterns without self-blame, and restoring trust in your own internal signals. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this just marriage—or is something else happening here?” this episode is designed to help you find clarity without pressure. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Covert Narcissism 02:13 Understanding Healthy Relationship Dynamics 06:09 The Impact of One-Sided Grace 10:02 The Illusion of Flexibility in Covert Dynamics 13:47 Observing Relationship Patterns 17:05 Next Steps in Understanding Your Relationships DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    19 min

  2. 3D AGO

    Covert Narcissism Community Chat: Why I Still Question Myself — Even Now

    If you understand covert narcissism intellectually—but still find yourself questioning your memory, your reactions, or your decisions—you’re not alone. In this episode, you’ll hear the very first Covert Narcissism Community Chat: a small, guided conversation with participants who are just like you. These are not clinicians or experts. They are listeners who have consumed the information, done the research, and are living—at different stages—inside the aftermath of covert narcissistic abuse. For privacy and safety, real names are not used. Together, we explore why self-doubt can persist even after awareness: • Why clarity doesn’t always stick • How gaslighting and reality distortion become internalized • Why you can “know” something and still question yourself • How self-doubt shows up whether you’re still in it, newly out, or years down the road This conversation isn’t about fixing or diagnosing. It’s about naming what so many survivors carry quietly—and hearing, in real time, that you’re not alone. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I still question myself—even now?” This episode is for you. Interested in participating in a future Community Chat? These small, guided conversations continue and focus on specific experiences survivors often carry alone. Information about upcoming topics—including The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Who Tries—can be found at https://www.covertnarcissism.com/community-chats Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Setup 04:56 Purpose of the Community Chat 08:01 Understanding Self-Doubt After Narcissistic Abuse 09:36 Personal Experiences with Self-Doubt 18:13 Navigating Relationships Post-Abuse 25:11 The Impact of Self-Doubt on Decision Making 34:16 Surprises on the Healing Journey THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    36 min

  3. JAN 11

    Covert Narcissistic Abuse: Why Nothing Changes No Matter How Hard You Try

    In this episode, Renee Swanson talks about the painful reality many survivors face after awareness begins: why nothing improves—even when you communicate better, regulate your emotions, go to therapy, and genuinely try to repair the relationship. This conversation is not about blaming yourself, diagnosing a partner, or pushing you toward a decision. It’s about understanding why effort alone doesn’t lead to change in covert narcissistic dynamics—and why that realization can feel both devastating and relieving at the same time. We’ll explore the difference between healthy conflict and covert narcissistic dynamics, specifically how attempts at repair are often met with deflection, defensiveness, silence, or emotional punishment rather than accountability and follow-through. We’ll talk about the healthy relationship tools you’ve likely been using—clear communication, emotional regulation, self-reflection, better timing—and why those tools only work when both people are oriented toward repair. Chapters 00:00 Understanding the Struggle in Relationships 02:52 The Ineffectiveness of Healthy Relationship Tools 05:41 The Pain of Repair Attempts 08:12 The Cycle of Blame and Responsibility 10:41 The Impact of Covert Narcissism on Self-Perception 13:15 Awakening to the Reality of the Relationship 15:42 Finding Clarity and Self-Awareness 16:24 Next Steps in the Healing Journey DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    19 min

  4. JAN 8

    Smear Campaigns and the Loss of Family, Friends, and Safety with Eleanor Marks

    Smear campaigns don’t just distort the truth—they dismantle trust, fracture relationships, and leave survivors questioning where it’s safe to stand. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson is joined by high-conflict divorce coach Eleanor Marks for an honest conversation about what smear campaigns really look like during and after divorce with a covert narcissist. Together, they explore: How smear campaigns unfold quietly and convincingly Why family and long-term friends sometimes believe the lies The grief of losing relationships you never expected to lose Why defending yourself often backfires How to reclaim your sense of safety without proving anything This conversation isn’t about reacting, explaining, or correcting the narrative. It’s about understanding the pattern, protecting your energy, and learning how to move forward when others choose not to see the truth. If you are currently divorcing a covert narcissist—or preparing to—a new coaching session focused specifically on navigating divorce with a covert narcissist is beginning next week. You can learn more and join now at www.covertnarcissism.com/divorce You are not overreacting. You are not imagining the loss. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Chapters 00:00 Navigating Life After Narcissism 03:26 Understanding Smear Campaigns 05:55 The Impact of Family Dynamics 08:55 Redefining Relationships and Trust 11:39 Healing and Moving Forward 15:51 Living Your Truth 16:42 Building a Supportive Community DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    28 min

  5. JAN 4

    Navigating the Confusion of Covert Narcissism: What Is Actually Wrong in My Marriage?

    If you feel confused, unsettled, or unable to name what’s wrong in your marriage—even though nothing sounds “bad enough”—this episode is for you. Many people living in covertly unhealthy dynamics don’t experience constant conflict or obvious explosions. Instead, they live inside a fog of mixed signals, emotional reversals, and conversations that never seem to stay where they start. This episode is designed to ground you in reality without labeling or pressure, and to help you understand the difference between normal marital conflict and patterns that quietly erode clarity over time. In this kickoff episode, we explore: Why confusion is often the first signal that something isn’t right How everyday interactions can leave you feeling disoriented, tense, or questioning yourself The difference between conflict that resolves and conflict that never truly ends Why trying harder doesn’t bring relief when the problem isn’t communication How your nervous system responds when emotional safety is inconsistent This episode is not about diagnosing your partner or telling you what to do. It’s about orientation—slowing things down enough to understand why your experience hasn’t made sense, and why that confusion matters. This is the beginning of a guided journey through the confusing world of covert narcissism—one that organizes overwhelming information into something steady, digestible, and grounded in lived experience. Whether you’re just starting to sense that something is off, or you’ve been learning about this for years, this space is for you. In the next episode, we’ll explore why this can feel so unfixable even when you’re still doing everything you can—and why that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    23 min

  6. JAN 1

    Covert Narcissism Recovery: Starting the New Year Without Pressure

    Healing from covert narcissistic abuse doesn’t follow a calendar—and January doesn’t require clarity, decisions, or resolutions. If you’re entering the new year feeling foggy, heavy, or unsure, this episode is for you. Instead of pushing urgency, motivation, or “fresh starts,” this conversation offers something survivors of covert narcissism actually need: orientation, safety, and permission to go slowly. In this New Year’s Day episode, we explore why January can feel more like an aftermath than a beginning, especially if you’re still in the relationship, newly out, or years removed but still impacted. We talk about what covert narcissistic abuse does to your nervous system, why information alone isn’t enough, and how healing often shows up quietly—not dramatically. This episode also introduces how the podcast will function as a guided path this year, with grounding Sunday episodes and more connective Thursday conversations, including community chats. In this episode, we cover: Why January pressure can be harmful for survivors How covert narcissism disrupts self-trust and internal orientation Why healing doesn’t require decisions or urgency Signs of healing that are often overlooked What to expect from the podcast moving forward How community and shared language support recovery You are not behind. You are not doing this wrong. And you don’t have to decide anything yet. Chapters: 00:00 Grounding and Introduction 00:46 Navigating New Year Pressures 01:35 Surviving the Holiday Season 03:49 Processing Emotional Aftermath 06:11 Understanding Trauma and Healing 07:01 Introducing the Guided Journey 10:31 Permissions for Healing 11:54 Podcast Structure and Expectations 13:35 Community Connection and Support THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    16 min

  7. 12/28/2025

    Holidays With a Covert Narcissist: When Survival Replaces Celebration

    In this episode, Renee Swanson discusses the challenges of navigating holidays with a covert narcissist, emphasizing the emotional toll it takes on family members. She explores the concept of survival in these relationships, the importance of self-care, and encourages listeners to shift from merely surviving to thriving in their lives. The conversation highlights the need for awareness and understanding of emotional manipulation, and the significance of prioritizing one's own well-being. Takeaways: The holidays with a covert narcissist feel like survival, not joy. Emotional preparation is necessary for family gatherings. The cost of not trying to manage the environment is too high. Self-care is essential and not selfish. Surviving the holidays does not equate to feeling fulfilled. Emotional containment is an invisible burden. A calm holiday does not mean peace in the heart. Self-care allows for better relationships with others. Guilt often stems from external blame, not personal failure. Moving from survival to thriving is a vital journey. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    20 min

  8. 12/25/2025

    Covert Narcissist: The Grinch Who Steals It All

    In this Christmas-themed episode, Renee Swanson explores the impact of covert narcissism on personal relationships, particularly during the holiday season. Using the metaphor of the Grinch, she discusses how covert narcissists can subtly steal joy, anticipation, and traditions, leaving individuals feeling hollow and anxious. However, she emphasizes the importance of community and reclaiming one's truth, integrity, and peace, encouraging listeners to recognize their strength and the joy that can still exist despite past trauma. Takeaways: Humor grounded in truth can be healing. Covert narcissists often appear friendly but drain joy. They steal emotional peace rather than physical items. Anticipation for joyful events can turn into dread. Community support is crucial for healing. Your truth and integrity remain intact despite abuse. Healing is a personal journey that can be complicated. Recognizing patterns of abuse brings clarity. Peace belongs to the present, not the past. Christmas can be redefined on your own terms. Chapters: 00:00 A Different Kind of Christmas 00:54 Understanding the Covert Narcissist 02:39 The Grinch's Stealing Tactics 07:25 The Power of Community 11:16 Reclaiming Your Truth 12:41 Finding Peace and Joy DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    16 min
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4.8
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

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