Marriage & Motherhood - How To Reconnect With Your Spouse After Kids

Michelle Purta
  • 4.9 (48)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Motherhood changes everything, including your marriage. If you’re a mom who feels stuck having the same arguments on repeat, disconnected from your partner, or like you’ve slipped into roommate mode filled with resentment and tension, you’re not alone and your relationship isn’t broken. Welcome to The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast. I’m Michelle Purta, mom of 3, marriage coach, and I help couples understand and shift the communication patterns that keep them stuck so they can rebuild connection, strengthen their partnership, and feel like an "us" again. Each week, you’ll learn how to navigate marriage and motherhood with better communication, emotional awareness, and practical conflict resolution tools that actually work in real life. We go beyond surface-level advice and focus on what’s really driving the disconnection like reactive cycles, emotional shutdown, miscommunication, and unresolved resentment. This podcast is for couples who want to: - break the cycle of repeating arguments- communicate clearly without shutdowns or blowups- resolve conflict in a way that builds connection instead of resentment- move out of roommate mode and back into a connected partnership You’ll learn the skills to shift your patterns, improve communication, and create a more connected, supportive marriage while you're knee deep in parenthood. Because a strong relationship isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about knowing how to move through it together. If you’re ready to stop having the same fight and start feeling like a team again, you’re in the right place. Ready for deeper support? Learn more about marriage coaching here: https://michellepurta.as.me/clarity

  1. Aug 20

    Ep. 306 - Making Hard Conversations Feel Less Heavy

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! Discussing a difficult topic with your husband does not have to be heavy. By the time many couples sit down to talk about a conflict, they have already replayed what happened, assigned meaning to their spouse’s behavior, and reached a verdict about who is right and who is wrong. The conversation feels heavy before anyone says a word. In this episode, I share why the preparation you do before talking matters just as much as the words you eventually choose. Tune in to hear me share: Why a serious topic does not have to create an emotionally heavy conversationHow assumptions and unprocessed emotions add weight before the conversation beginsHow to separate the facts, the story, and your personal historyThe questions that reveal whether you are ready to talkA simple formula for opening a difficult conversation collaborativelyWhat to do when your spouse still becomes defensive or shuts downConflict is inevitable, but arguing is optional. You cannot control your spouse’s reaction, but you can influence whether the conversation feels like an attack or an invitation to understand each other and solve the problem as a team. Resources Mentioned: Grab my Conflict to Connection Guide here! Schedule your clarity call here! Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't) Support the show

  2. Aug 18

    Ep. 305 - How Productive Moms Actually Manage Their Time with Lori Oberbroeckling

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! You might not need more time. You might need to manage your energy differently. As moms, it can feel like there’s never enough time to get everything done. Between work, kids, marriage, the house, and everything else competing for our attention, it’s easy to assume the solution is becoming more productive. But what if time isn’t actually the biggest problem and what if you could stop judging yourself for not doing more? In this episode, I’m joined by Lori Oberleckling, creator of Secrets of Supermom, to talk about why moms often run out of energy before they run out of time and how paying attention to your energy can completely change the way you approach your days. We talk about letting go of the pressure to “do it all,” identifying what deserves your time in this season, and recognizing the difference between things that drain your energy and things that give it back. We also get into why hobbies and interests aren’t frivolous for moms, how to stop feeling guilty about delegating, and why becoming intentional about your evenings, phone habits, and downtime can help you show up more like the version of yourself you actually want to be. In this episode, we cover: • Why women who seem to “do it all” usually aren’t • The problem with following productivity systems perfectly • Why energy management matters as much as time management • How to identify your energy bleeds, blocks, and boosts • Why rest and enjoyment don’t have to be earned • How hobbies can actually give you more capacity for motherhood • The difference between intentional downtime and mindless scrolling • Why experimenting with your routines can help you find what actually works for you • What our kids learn when they see us trying new things and being beginners If you constantly feel like there’s more to do than you have capacity for, this conversation will help you rethink productivity and start creating a life that works with your energy instead of constantly draining it. Connect with Lori: Website: https://www.secretsofsupermom.com Podcast: https://secretsofsupermom.com/the-blog/ Facebook Page: https://www.Facebook.com/secretsofsupermom Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/secretsofsupermom Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/secretsofsupermom LinkedIn: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/secretsofsupermom Grab her Master Your Time Toolkit: https://secretsofsupermom.mykajabi.com/offers/5cJGStjm?coupon_code=SUPERMOM Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't) Support the show

  3. Jun 25

    Ep. 304 - A Reminder For Your Marriage

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! TW: Loss The biggest pitfall to your marriage isn't conflict. It's assuming you'll always have more time. A few weeks ago, I lost one of my best friends. Her passing changed the way I think about life, marriage, and the conversations we choose to postpone. As parents, it's easy to believe there will always be another season to reconnect, another opportunity to express appreciation, another day to repair what feels unresolved. But tomorrow isn't promised. In this deeply personal episode, I share how grief has inspired me to find ways to be even more intentional and why the healthiest marriages aren't built by avoiding difficult conversations but by having them while we still have the chance. In this episode you'll learn: Why we naturally postpone what matters mostThe hidden cost of unspoken appreciationHow avoiding difficult conversations creates distanceSmall daily choices that build lasting connectionReflection questions that can transform your marriage todayIf you've been waiting for the "right time" to reconnect with your spouse, this episode is your reminder that today is the best place to start. Resources Mentioned: Conflict to Connection Guide The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need to Have Masterclass Book a Clarity Call to get help Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Support the show

  4. Jun 23

    Ep. 303 - Marriage and Fatherhood with Mike Mendez

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! Part of having a healthy partnership in marriage is understanding each other. As women, we often assume we have more challenges than men once we become parents but that doesn't negate any challenges that they may experience. In this episode, I am joined by Men's Coach and previous client of mine, Mike Mendez to chat about common struggles that men experience like the  invisible pressures they carry. Pressure to provide. Pressure to succeed. Pressure to stay strong. Pressure to put everyone else's needs ahead of their own. We discuss the inherited beliefs many men carry about work, money, fatherhood, and success, how those beliefs impact marriage, and what happens when men finally give themselves permission to question the scripts they've been living by. If you've ever wondered what is happening beneath the surface for your husband, this episode is for you. Things we discuss: - The pressure many men feel to be providers - How financial anxiety impacts marriage - Why success doesn't always lead to fulfillment - The inherited scripts that shape our decisions - The emotional struggles men often keep hidden - Why awareness is the first step toward change Connect with Mike: https://mikemendezcoaching.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@mikemendezcoaching https://www.facebook.com/mikemendezcoaching Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't) Support the show

  5. Jun 11

    Ep. 302 - What Your Marriage Needs To Stop Arguing And Start Connecting

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! Most couples aren't disconnected because they don't care. They're disconnected because they were never taught how to create a marriage that works for them. If you've tried talking more, reading relationship books, listening to podcasts, or even attending therapy but still feel stuck in the same patterns, this episode will help you understand why. In Part 1 of this new series, I share the hidden reason so many couples continue struggling despite their best efforts. The issue often isn't a lack of love, effort, or commitment. It's the absence of a system. You'll learn the four foundational components every healthy marriage needs and why missing even one can create resentment, conflict, emotional distance, or the feeling that you've become roommates. In this episode, I cover: • Why talking about problems isn't always enough • The difference between fixing arguments and fixing systems • The four pillars of a healthy marriage • How self awareness impacts communication • Why partnership looks different in every relationship • The role connection plays in long term relationship satisfaction • Why generic relationship advice often falls short For more personalized support, book a clarity call to learn how marriage coaching can help you here! Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't) Support the show

  6. Jun 9

    Ep. 301 - Why Telling Yourself To “Be More Patient” With The Kids Doesn’t Work with Jen Driscoll

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! You don't need to become a perfect mom to become a calmer one. Many moms are carrying an invisible load they can't quite explain. We love their children deeply, yet find ourselves snapping more than we want to. We feel overstimulated, emotionally exhausted, and frustrated by how we show up during the hardest moments of motherhood. In this episode, I am joined by Maternal Wellness Coach, Jennifer Driscoll, to talk about why modern motherhood feels so overwhelming, what nervous system regulation actually means, and how moms can stop judging themselves and start supporting themselves. We discuss the difference between overwhelm and overstimulation, why so many moms feel disconnected from themselves after having children, and how learning to recognize your own warning signs can dramatically change the way you experience motherhood. If you've ever thought, "Why can't I just be more patient?" this episode is for you. In this episode we discuss: • Why motherhood today feels different than previous generations • The hidden impact of social media on maternal expectations • The difference between overwhelm and overstimulation • Why nervous system regulation matters more than willpower • How to recognize your personal warning signs before you snap • How emotional awareness strengthens your marriage and parenting • Small regulation tools that can make a big difference in difficult moments Grab her freebie "When You're 2 Seconds From Snapping" Connect with Jen: IG: @itsjenniferleigh Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't) Support the show

  7. Jun 4

    Ep. 300 - How To Stop Being So Reactive To Your Partner's Emotions

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! Most arguments don't escalate because of the issue. They escalate because of how you react to each other's emotions. If your partner gets upset and you immediately get upset too, you're not solving the problem. You're mirroring their emotional state. In this final episode of my miniseries: "Why You Keep Having the Same Arguments", we're talking about one of the most overlooked communication patterns that keeps couples stuck: emotional mirroring. When your partner raises the temperature, do you raise yours too? If so, you're not alone. Most people were never taught how to stay grounded when someone they love is upset. Instead, they react, defend themselves, shut down, or attack back. The problem is that two dysregulated people rarely create a productive conversation. In this episode, you'll learn: • What emotional mirroring actually looks like in marriage • Why your partner's emotions trigger your own reactions • How conflict becomes a competition instead of a conversation • Why emotional regulation is one of the most important relationship skills you can develop • How staying grounded can help de-escalate arguments and create emotional safety If you want fewer exhausting arguments and more productive conversations, this episode will help you understand the role you play in the cycle and how to start changing it. Resources Mentioned Conflict to Connection Guide For more personalized support, book a clarity call to learn how marriage coaching can help you here! Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't) Support the show

  8. Jun 2

    Ep. 299 - Why Modern Motherhood Feels So Exhausting (And What To Do About It) with Dr. Amber Thornton

    Let us know how you enjoyed this episode! Modern motherhood isn't exhausting because you're doing it wrong. It's exhausting because you're carrying a load that previous generations weren't aware of. In this episode, I am joined by Psychologist and author Dr. Amber Thornton to talk about the emotional load of parenting and why so many moms feel overwhelmed, overstimulated, and depleted despite caring deeply about their families. We explore how parenting has shifted from focusing primarily on survival and stability to prioritizing emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, and connection. While this shift creates incredible opportunities for our children, it also places a significant emotional burden on parents who are often learning these skills in real time. In this episode, we discuss: • What the emotional load of parenting actually is • Why modern parenting feels so different from previous generations • The "living room kid" phenomenon and why many parents feel like they're always on • How self care directly impacts your ability to parent effectively • Why emotions aren't the problem and what they're actually trying to tell you • What emotional regulation really means If you've ever felt guilty for needing a break, frustrated by your reactions, or overwhelmed by the emotional demands of parenting, this conversation will help you feel seen, understood, and supported. Resources Mentioned • A Parent's Guide to Self-Regulation by Dr. Amber Thornton Connect with Dr. Amber! Website - www.dramberthornton.com Instagram - @dramberthornton YouTube - @dramberthornton LinkedIn - @dramberthornton Thanks for listening! Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too! Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't) Support the show

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About

Motherhood changes everything, including your marriage. If you’re a mom who feels stuck having the same arguments on repeat, disconnected from your partner, or like you’ve slipped into roommate mode filled with resentment and tension, you’re not alone and your relationship isn’t broken. Welcome to The Marriage & Motherhood Podcast. I’m Michelle Purta, mom of 3, marriage coach, and I help couples understand and shift the communication patterns that keep them stuck so they can rebuild connection, strengthen their partnership, and feel like an "us" again. Each week, you’ll learn how to navigate marriage and motherhood with better communication, emotional awareness, and practical conflict resolution tools that actually work in real life. We go beyond surface-level advice and focus on what’s really driving the disconnection like reactive cycles, emotional shutdown, miscommunication, and unresolved resentment. This podcast is for couples who want to: - break the cycle of repeating arguments- communicate clearly without shutdowns or blowups- resolve conflict in a way that builds connection instead of resentment- move out of roommate mode and back into a connected partnership You’ll learn the skills to shift your patterns, improve communication, and create a more connected, supportive marriage while you're knee deep in parenthood. Because a strong relationship isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about knowing how to move through it together. If you’re ready to stop having the same fight and start feeling like a team again, you’re in the right place. Ready for deeper support? Learn more about marriage coaching here: https://michellepurta.as.me/clarity

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