Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

My Coach Dawn
  • 4.9 (62)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

This isn’t a breakup pep talk. It’s a full-body recalibration for women navigating life after divorce. Dear Divorce Diary is a podcast for women dealing with grief, loneliness, anxiety, anxious or avoidant attachment, and identity loss after divorce — especially when quick fixes, positivity, and spiritual fluff no longer work. I’m Dawn Wiggins, therapist, coach, and homeopath, and this show goes where most divorce advice won’t: into your nervous system, your unspoken grief, your buried rage, and the parts of you that shut down just to survive. Through honest conversation, somatic tools, EMDR- and IFS-informed work, and nervous-system support, each episode helps you feel instead of perform healing — and rebuild safety, confidence, and self-trust from the inside out. You’ll hear raw solo episodes, real voice notes from women in the trenches, and intimate conversations with experts who don’t just talk about healing — they embody it. If you’re tired of being told to “move on” while your body is still bracing, this podcast is your place to land. Your nervous system already knows the truth — it just needs a space that can hold it.

  1. 3d ago ·  Bonus

    Ep. 386 A Sleep Meditation for When You Need Support After Divorce but Feel Guilty Asking

    Need emotional support after divorce, but feel guilty asking? This 10-minute guided sleep meditation offers a gentle space to acknowledge your needs and explore what makes receiving care difficult. You could use someone checking in. Someone listening. Somewhere to say, “I’m having a hard time,” without immediately assuring everyone you’re fine. But then comes the guilt. They have enough going on. You’ve already talked about your divorce so much. You don’t want people to get tired of you. You need support—and asking for it feels like asking for too much. Join Dawn for a quiet divorce recovery practice that makes room for both the part of you that wants connection and the part that has learned to handle everything herself. Whether you’re depleted after work, carrying the coparenting responsibilities, or rebuilding your life with grown children, tonight you don’t have to find the right words or explain your whole story. Through gentle body awareness, visualization, and affirmations, this meditation invites you to practice: Acknowledging your need for emotional support after divorce.Making room for the worry that people will tire of your pain or needs.Imagining receiving care without immediately giving something back.Considering one small way to ask for support when you’re ready.You don’t have to force yourself to believe every word or make the hesitant part of you go quiet. Let this be a place to pause, listen, and consider another possibility. If something comes up, you can bring it into Cocoon on Heartbeat. One sentence is enough: “I feel guilty asking for support,” or “I don’t know what I need.” You can also attend a monthly VIP workshop with Coach Tiffini and simply listen, then explore the handout afterward. For tonight, there’s nothing to post and nothing to decide. Your next small step can wait until morning. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

  2. 5d ago

    385. I’m Tired of Figuring Everything Out After Divorce. What Do I Do Next?

    You held it together at work. Handled the responsibilities. Gave everyone what they needed. Now you’re home—and you have nothing left for the woman who’s still hurting. You want to feel better after divorce. But choosing another book, finding another practitioner, or figuring out which healing tool to use feels like another job. Can someone please just tell you what to do next? In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Dawn, Joy, and Coach Tiffini talk about the overwhelm and decision fatigue that can leave you stuck in divorce recovery—even when you understand your patterns and desperately want things to change. Joy shares how she used to retell the same painful story to multiple groups of friends. Tiffini remembers being a young divorced mom who felt she didn’t belong anywhere—and pushing through to prove she was okay. Together, we explore what emotional support can look like when you’re exhausted, lonely, and unsure where to begin. You’ll hear: Why knowing your patterns doesn’t always translate into doing something different when you’re triggered.How overwhelm, attachment wounds, and pressure to appear “fine” can make asking for help difficult.What support between therapy appointments can look like.A simple path into Cocoon, including how to connect with Coach Tiffini without having to explain your whole life.How VIP guided practices and monthly workshops can help you begin using the tools you’ve been learning about.Your next step can be one message: “I don’t know where to start.” Join our free Cocoon community on Heartbeat through the link below. Look for Coach Tiffini’s welcome message and reply—even an emoji counts. You can begin with the capacity you have today. Want guided support you can return to? VIP is $5 a month and includes Thursday episodes plus a monthly live workshop with Coach Tiffini, with an audio replay and handout. This Thursday, start with a guided sleep meditation focused on overwhelm, belonging, and receiving support. Settle into bed, press play, and let us guide the practice. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

  3. Oct 1 ·  Bonus

    Ep. 384 - I Want to Feel Beautiful Again After Divorce. How Do I Get Her Back?

    Wanting to feel beautiful again after divorce isn’t shallow. After heartbreak, stress, body changes, and years of living in survival mode, sometimes you just want to look in the mirror and think: There she is. You want your confidence back. Your energy back. Your swagger back. You want to feel sexy, desirable, and at home in your body again. But if you’ve been trying to get there through weight loss, harder workouts, restriction, or criticizing yourself into changing, you may be working against the very thing you want. In this immersive VIP episode, we’re getting underneath the post-divorce “revenge body” and talking about the three things that may be keeping you disconnected from the woman you want to feel like again: nervous system dysregulation, self-rejection, and your emotional relationship with food. Then we’re taking it out of your head and into your body. You’ll move through guided somatic work, emotional release, future-self visualization, and a manifestation exercise designed to help you reconnect with the version of you who feels beautiful, energized, confident, and deeply desirable. We’re talking about: Why your nervous system belongs in the conversation about body image, metabolism, and weight loss after divorceHow self-rejection can keep you trapped in a constant fight with your bodyWhat your relationship with food may reveal about stress, control, and emotionWhy feeling beautiful again requires more than changing what you see in the mirrorHow to begin seeing yourself through the eyes of a generous lover instead of your harshest criticA guided future-self practice to reconnect with your confidence, sensuality, energy, and swaggerBring a journal, a pen, and a little room to move. Because the woman you want back may not actually be gone. She may just need you to stop fighting her long enough to find her. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

  4. Sep 29

    383. I Was a Marriage Therapist & Still Couldn’t Prevent Divorce | Why Knowing Better Isn’t Enough

    I was a trained marriage and family therapist when I got divorced. I understood attachment theory. I knew the language of relationships. And I still couldn’t prevent my own divorce. For a long time, that felt embarrassing. But it taught me something I needed to understand about divorce healing: knowing what’s happening in your mind is different from feeling safe enough to live differently. In this episode, Joy, Coach Tiffini, and I get personal about the gap between insight and change. We talk about the coping patterns we could recognize but kept repeating, why deeper healing felt frightening, and what helped us begin to trust ourselves and other people again. Tiffini shares what survival mode looked like for her as a newly divorced single mom—and why she feared that opening up her pain might make it harder to care for her daughter. Joy talks about knowing a habit wasn’t helping while feeling like it was all she could manage in that moment. And I reflect on what my training couldn’t teach me about moving through divorce in my own body and life. We also talk about holding a boundary after you’ve drawn it, receiving honest feedback from someone you trust, and finding people who can hear the parts of your story you’ve been afraid to say out loud. If you’ve done the therapy, read the books, and learned your attachment patterns but still find yourself asking, “Why am I doing this again?”—come listen. We’re talking about what can help the work begin to land. In this episode: Why knowing your patterns doesn’t automatically change themThe fear of falling apart if you begin deeper divorce healingHow survival mode can narrow the choices you feel able to makeWhat support, boundaries, and honest relationships changed for usWhy feeling safe enough to be seen matters when you’re learning to trust yourselfWant a place to keep practicing? Join us in Cocoon to connect and ask questions. VIP members also get our Thursday healing episodes and a monthly workshop with Coach Tiffini. Find the links in the show notes. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

  5. Sep 24 ·  Bonus

    Ep. 382 - The Divorce Healing Tool You Probably Haven’t Tried Yet—and It Only Takes 9 Minutes

    Some moments in divorce just feel dark. Your heart hurts. Your mind keeps circling the what-ifs. You’re thinking about him, what he’s doing, what you lost, and what your life is supposed to look like now. And underneath all of that is the part no one really prepares you for: Letting go can feel terrifying. In this VIP episode, I’ll walk you through a simple 9-minute EFT tapping practice for moments when you feel stuck, heartbroken, alone, overwhelmed, or disconnected from the strong part of yourself. If you’ve never tried EFT before, don’t worry. I’ll walk you through exactly what to do and answer the most common questions before we begin. In this practice, we tap through: The heartbreak and heaviness of divorceThe what-ifs you can’t seem to stop thinking aboutThe fear of letting go of your marriage, your ex, your family, and the future you imaginedThe loneliness that can feel especially heavy at nightThe part of you that feels small, scared, exhausted, or unsure of what comes nextThe moments when you forget how strong you actually areReconnecting with hope, purpose, possibility, and the part of you that still knows you’re going to be okayThis isn’t about pretending the dark parts aren’t there. It’s about making room for both truths at once: You can be heartbroken and still be powerful. You can feel lost and still have moments of joy. You can be struggling to let go and still be moving toward something new. Save this episode for the hard nights, the heavy days, or anytime you need a reminder that the circumstances you’re in right now are not the whole truth of who you are. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

  6. Sep 22

    381. Why Your Love Language Could Never Make You Feel Loved in Your Marriage - Divorce & Attachment

    You knew your love language. You told him exactly what you needed—so why did it still never feel like enough? In this episode, we’re looking at what love languages can miss when attachment wounds, codependency, emotional safety, abandonment fears, and your nervous system are actually driving what happens inside your marriage. Because your love language may have been describing the behavior that temporarily soothed the wound—not the wound itself. Words of affirmation may feel wonderful—but why does silence make you feel unworthy? Quality time may matter deeply—but why does your partner choosing something else suddenly feel like abandonment? Acts of service may bring relief—but what part of you learned, I’m completely on my own unless someone notices how much I’m carrying? Inside this episode: Why your love language may point directly toward an attachment woundWhen wanting reassurance becomes needing your partner to make you feel okayWhy emotional safety changes physical touch, intimacy, and connectionWhy there was sometimes never enough attention, affection, help, or quality timeHow to use love languages as information without making them your healing planWe’re not telling you to throw out the love languages. We’re asking a deeper question: What if the problem wasn’t that your husband didn’t learn your love language? What if both of you were trying to use behavior to soothe wounds neither of you understood? And if you used this framework in your marriage and still couldn’t make it work, this episode may help release some of the coulda, shoulda, woulda you’ve been carrying after divorce. Because sustainable intimacy requires more than knowing how someone prefers to receive love. It requires emotional safety, self-awareness, accountability, vulnerability, repair, and the ability to understand what’s happening underneath the thing you keep asking your partner to provide. Ready to Actually Do the Healing Work? Knowing why you’re triggered is different from knowing what to do with it. That’s what we practice inside Dear Divorce Diary VIP through our Thursday healing episodes, Coach Tiffini’s workshops, and the Cocoon community. If you’re ready to move from understanding your patterns to actually changing them, come join us inside VIP. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

  7. Sep 17 ·  Bonus

    Ep. 380 The Emotional Skill That Could Change Your Entire Divorce Recovery & Stop the Spiraling

    What if the emotion itself isn’t what’s keeping you stuck after divorce? What if it’s the story you immediately attach to it? He did this. She said that. This ruined everything. I can’t have the life I want because they keep doing this. In this tactical VIP episode, Dawn teaches you how to separate the physical sensation of an emotion from the thoughts, interpretations and negative beliefs that keep reopening the wound. You’ll practice noticing where grief, anger, anxiety, shame or inadequacy lives in your body—without immediately defending it, explaining it or building a case around it. Dawn walks you through how to: Recognize the physical sensation beneath an emotional triggerNotice when your mind starts rehearsing the painful storyFeel and discharge an emotion without becoming consumed by itInterrupt the thought loops that keep your nervous system activatedReclaim the personal power you’ve been outsourcing to someone elseRecognize when disconnection from your body may be interfering with deeper healingThe next time you’re triggered, the goal isn’t to suppress the emotion or convince yourself that it shouldn’t hurt. Name it. Feel it. Breathe through it. Express it. Then Ctrl+Alt+Delete the story that keeps turning one painful moment into an ongoing emotional prison. Because you cannot build your new life while endlessly rehearsing the story of what broke the old one. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

  8. Sep 15

    379. Why wasn't I worth it to him? Why This Question Keeps You Stuck After Divorce

    Why wasn’t I worth it to him? Why wasn’t I worth changing for? Why wasn’t I worth getting sober for, telling the truth for, going to therapy for, fighting for? Why could I love him that much, sacrifice that much, try that hard—and still not be enough to make him choose differently? It is one of the most painful rabbit holes after divorce. And it can keep you stuck because every time you ask the question, you are still making his choices the evidence of your worth. Maybe you’re waiting for the apology. The confession. The accountability. The moment he finally admits that you were right, that he hurt you, that you mattered, that he should have done better. And yes—getting some of those things can feel validating. But they cannot repair your self-esteem for you. They cannot heal your attachment wounds. And they cannot teach your nervous system what secure love actually feels like. In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Dawn, Joy, and Tiffini unpack why “Why wasn’t I worth it to him?” is rarely just a question about your ex. It is often connected to the much older belief that if you can love well enough, perform well enough, fix enough, forgive enough, or make yourself valuable enough, someone will finally choose you. We talk about the painful intersection between codependency and addiction, why apologies without behavioral change can keep you hooked, and what happens when you stop asking him to be the authority on whether you were lovable enough. Because at some point, healing after divorce requires a different question. Not: Why didn’t he choose me? But: Why did I need his choices to tell me what I was worth? Inside this episode: Why “Why wasn’t I worth it?” becomes such a powerful loop after divorceWhy you may have wanted him to change for youThe difference between an apology, accountability, and actual changeWhy finally hearing “you were right” may bring relief without bringing healingHow codependency and anxious attachment can pair with addiction and avoidanceWhy being the perfect wife can still come from fear instead of secure loveHow women can use fixing, pleasing, motherhood, perfectionism, and relationships to soothe their own painWhy his unwillingness to heal is not proof that you were not worth healing forWhat it means to stop making him the authority on your valueHow learning secure love changes who—and what—you choose nextThe question “Why wasn’t I worth it to him?” keeps you looking backward for evidence. Secure love asks you to come back to yourself. Because eventually, the work is not convincing yourself that you were worthy enough for him to choose. It is becoming so rooted in your own worth that his inability to choose differently no longer gets to define you. Ready to do this work differently? Enrollment for A Different D-Word is closing in just days. If you are exhausted from understanding your patterns intellectually but still feeling them run your relationships, nervous system, confidence, and choices, this is the work we spend an entire year doing together. Not just talking about what happened. Actually changing what happens next. Scroll to the link below, fill out the application, and we’ll take it from there. We would love to work with you. Support the show Join Cocoon VIP - "The Room Where Support Without Guilt Happens" For just $5 a month, you can access all thursday eps where we apply the concepts we cover on Tuesday. You will also be invited to attend monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini and other exclusive content. Can't attend the live workshop? No problem! You'll get access to all the recordings plus handouts that help you DO the healing work you need! Real Conversations. Real Regulation. Real Relief.

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This isn’t a breakup pep talk. It’s a full-body recalibration for women navigating life after divorce. Dear Divorce Diary is a podcast for women dealing with grief, loneliness, anxiety, anxious or avoidant attachment, and identity loss after divorce — especially when quick fixes, positivity, and spiritual fluff no longer work. I’m Dawn Wiggins, therapist, coach, and homeopath, and this show goes where most divorce advice won’t: into your nervous system, your unspoken grief, your buried rage, and the parts of you that shut down just to survive. Through honest conversation, somatic tools, EMDR- and IFS-informed work, and nervous-system support, each episode helps you feel instead of perform healing — and rebuild safety, confidence, and self-trust from the inside out. You’ll hear raw solo episodes, real voice notes from women in the trenches, and intimate conversations with experts who don’t just talk about healing — they embody it. If you’re tired of being told to “move on” while your body is still bracing, this podcast is your place to land. Your nervous system already knows the truth — it just needs a space that can hold it.

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