Unhooked: Breaking Porn Addiction Podcast

Jeremy Lipkowitz
  • 4.7 (103)
  • Sexuality
  • Weekly

Unhooked is a podcast dedicated to helping people break free from porn addiction and other compulsive behaviors related to the internet, sex, and intimacy. Rooted in Buddhist wisdom, neuroscience, coaching, and mindfulness, the show explores practical strategies for lasting recovery and personal transformation. Each episode features leading experts, scientists, coaches, and individuals in recovery, sharing their insights, experiences, and expertise to guide listeners on their path to healing and freedom.

  1. 6d ago

    8 Mistakes People Make When Trying to Break Free From Porn (Rebroadcast)

    Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co 🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it. Have you ever tried to quit porn, made progress for a few days or weeks, and then found yourself right back where you started? Maybe you've promised yourself you'll never watch it again. Maybe you've tried relying on willpower, avoiding anything that triggers you, or being harder on yourself every time you slip up. But what if some of those approaches are actually making recovery more difficult? In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I'm revisiting eight of the most common mistakes I see people make when trying to break free from porn addiction. The idea for this episode actually came to me at a climbing gym in Amsterdam. I was helping a friend who was new to climbing, pointing out a few beginner mistakes that were making the climb unnecessarily difficult. It got me thinking about recovery. Just like climbing, breaking free from porn isn't only about trying harder. Sometimes, the biggest difference comes from recognizing what isn't working and learning a better way forward. In this episode, we explore: Why treating sexual desire as something shameful can reinforce the very cycle you're trying to escapeHow to experience cravings and uncomfortable emotions without suppressing them or automatically acting on themWhy building supportive environments, meaningful relationships, and healthier routines is more sustainable than relying on willpower aloneHow to recognize the deeper emotional needs that porn may be helping you avoid, so you don't simply replace one compulsive habit with anotherWhy setbacks don't have to erase your progress, and how vulnerability, support, and accountability can help you get back on trackOne of the most important lessons I've learned is that recovery isn't about becoming someone who never struggles. It's about learning to respond differently when challenges arise, becoming more honest with yourself, and building a life you no longer feel the need to escape from. If you've been trying to quit porn but keep finding yourself stuck in the same patterns, this episode will help you recognize what might be getting in your way. Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co 🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ Timestamps 00:00 Why Relapse Doesn't Mean Failure 00:55 Introducing the Rebroadcast and Free Slip Reset 02:37 The Rock Climbing Lesson Behind These 8 Mistakes 04:54 Mistake 1: Thinking Watching Porn Makes You a Bad Person 07:12 Mistake 2: Repressing Your Emotions and Urges 08:13 Mistake 3: Relying on Willpower Alone 09:03 Mistake 4: Looking for a Quick Fix 10:21 Mistake 5: Underestimating the Harm Porn Is Causing 12:11 Mistake 6: Ignoring the Root Cause of Addiction 14:08 Mistake 7: Beating Yourself Up After Relapse 15:28 Mistake 8: Trying to Recover Without Support 17:51 Getting Help and Building Accountability 18:31 Final Thoughts on Breaking Free From Porn 18:57 Closing Message

  2. Nov 2

    Porn Addiction Ruining Your Relationship? Here's Where Recovery Begins | Jeremy Lipkowitz Interview on Relationship Renovation

    Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com What happens when you finally quit porn, but the shame, secrecy, and distance in your relationship are still there? For many men, quitting porn feels like the finish line. Stop watching, stay consistent, and everything else should eventually fall into place. But I've seen how much more complicated recovery can be. Porn often becomes a way to escape uncomfortable feelings. Stress, loneliness, insecurity, or simply not wanting to deal with what's happening in our lives. And when that habit starts affecting a relationship, the consequences don't necessarily disappear just because the behavior stops. In this special reshare from Relationship Renovation, I join couples therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin to explore what genuine recovery looks like, especially when trust and intimacy have been affected. We talk about why porn use can become compulsive, what keeps people trapped in cycles of shame, and how to begin making changes that go deeper than maintaining a streak. In this episode, we explore: How to recognize when porn use has moved beyond occasional pleasure and become a way of avoiding difficult emotionsWhy constant novelty and unrealistic sexual expectations can create challenges with attraction and intimacy in real relationshipsHow to use the RAIN mindfulness practice to recognize cravings, allow uncomfortable feelings, investigate what's underneath them, and respond with greater self-compassionWhy couples need honest conversations about boundaries and broken agreements rather than assuming they share the same expectations around pornographyHow accountability and emotional awareness help rebuild self-respect while creating space for healthier relationships One of the most important things I've learned is that recovery isn't just about what you stop doing. It's about how you learn to show up for yourself and the people you care about. If you've been working hard to quit porn but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, I hope this conversation helps you see what the next part of recovery can look like. Timestamps 00:00 Opening: Understanding Porn Addiction 01:20 Jeremy Introduces the Relationship Renovation Reshare 03:23 Unhooked Podcast Introduction 04:03 Relationship Renovation Introduces the Conversation 05:59 Jeremy's Personal Experience With Porn Addiction 06:57 Recognizing the Impact of Porn 07:56 How Porn Affects Attraction and Intimacy 11:14 When Does Porn Use Become an Addiction? 13:23 The Wake-Up Call That Changed Jeremy's Life 16:03 Discovering Mindfulness and Buddhist Philosophy 18:41 Why Porn Is Often an Emotional Coping Mechanism 21:24 The Accessibility of Porn and Its Effects on Relationships 25:00 Shame, Secrecy, and the Addiction Cycle 29:10 How Meditation Helps You Regain Control 31:53 Why Sobriety Isn't the Same as Recovery 33:03 Understanding Your Default Future 38:11 Introducing the RAIN Mindfulness Practice 39:13 Using RAIN to Work With Cravings 41:20 Getting on the Same Page With Your Partner 42:58 Why Recovery Must Be Your Own Choice 43:23 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn 45:49 Advice for Men and Their Partners 46:23 Finding Support Without Shame 47:38 Why Your Partner's Porn Use Isn't Necessarily About You 50:47 Why Opening Up Gets Easier With Practice 51:24 Where to Find Jeremy and Unhooked Academy 52:48 Jeremy's Closing Message Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

  3. Oct 26

    Do Porn Urges Ever Go Away? | Jeremy Lipkowitz Interview on on Thriving with Addiction

    Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co 🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ What if the freedom you're looking for isn't just about quitting porn, but reaching a point where you no longer feel the need to turn to it? For years, I was chasing happiness in all the places I thought I was supposed to find it. Success, relationships, sex, pleasure. On the outside, things seemed to be going well. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction and a growing sense that something was missing. I remember reaching a point in college when I started questioning everything. If I was getting the things I wanted, why wasn't I happy? And if I kept living this way, would I ever be? That question eventually led me to meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and a completely different understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life. In this special reshare from Thriving with Addiction, I join host Dr. John Avery to talk about that journey, the role shame played in keeping my struggles hidden, and what I've learned about genuine freedom in recovery. In this episode, we explore: How early experiences of sexual shame can teach us to hide behaviors rather than understand them, creating patterns that follow us into adulthoodWhy addressing the underlying craving for relief matters more than focusing exclusively on porn or any single addictive behaviorWhat years of silent meditation retreats taught me about experiencing uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping themWhy finding a nonjudgmental community can be more effective than relying on motivation alone, especially when the initial excitement of quitting wears offWhat Buddhists call the bliss of blamelessness, and why living without secrecy can bring a deeper sense of peace than simply maintaining a streakOne of the most encouraging things I've experienced is that recovery doesn't have to feel like an endless fight. With time and practice, the urges that once seemed impossible to resist can become less frequent and easier to navigate. If you're somewhere on that journey, I hope this conversation reminds you that there's more to recovery than just stopping a behavior. There's an entire life waiting to be lived. Timestamps 00:00 Opening: How Shame and Addiction Begin 01:15 Introducing the Conversation With Dr. John Avery 02:20 The Unhooked App 03:14 Unhooked Podcast Introduction 03:53 Dr. John Avery Introduces Jeremy 04:35 Jeremy's Life in Thailand 05:21 How My Porn Addiction Started 07:06 Why Porn Became an Emotional Escape 09:00 Sexual Shame and Mixed Messages 10:11 Understanding the Root of Addiction 11:33 The Moment I Questioned My Happiness 13:17 How Buddhist Philosophy Changed My Perspective 15:23 Silent Retreats and Becoming a Buddhist Monk 17:33 Learning to Work With Cravings 19:47 Breaking the Silence Around Porn Addiction 21:54 The First Time I Publicly Shared My Story 24:30 Talking About Pornography and Children 26:16 Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation 27:53 Rebuilding Relationships and Intimacy 29:15 Why Community Matters in Recovery 31:39 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn 34:15 Inside Unhooked Academy 35:05 Why Shame Keeps Addiction Alive 36:24 Closing Thoughts Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com This conversation originally aired on Thriving with Addiction.

  4. Oct 19

    Mastering the Art of Overcoming Urges: 8 Strategies to Help You Quit Watching Porn (Rebroadcast)

    Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co 🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it. You've decided to quit porn. You're feeling motivated, you've set your goals, and you're ready to change. But then an urge hits, and suddenly all that determination feels a lot harder to hold on to. What do you actually do in that moment? In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I break down eight practical strategies for dealing with cravings, including how to make urges less likely to arise and what to do when they show up anyway. One of the biggest mistakes people make in recovery is relying entirely on willpower. But lasting change isn't about fighting every urge that comes your way. It's about creating an environment that supports your goals while developing the ability to experience cravings without automatically acting on them. In this episode, you'll learn: How to identify your personal triggers and change the routines that keep pulling you back toward pornWhy simple changes to your environment, including where you keep your phone, can make recovery easierHow mindfulness creates space between experiencing an urge and choosing what to do nextWhat urge surfing is and how to practice it without fighting or suppressing your cravingsWhen to use physical movement, cold showers, or support from another person to get through a difficult momentThe goal isn't to spend the rest of your life avoiding temptation. It's to build the freedom to choose how you respond, even when an urge is strong. Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

  5. Oct 12

    How Porn Addiction Changes the Way We Think, Feel, and Connect | Jeremy Lipkowitz Interview on Wake Up with Marci

    Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co 🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ What happens when something you turn to for pleasure slowly starts shaping the way you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you? In this reshare from Wake Up with Marci, I sit down with Marci Hopkins to share a part of my own story that changed the direction of my life. On the outside, things were going well. I had good grades, friends, and plenty of opportunities ahead of me. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction, constantly chasing pleasure, and becoming increasingly dissatisfied with what I already had. Then one day, walking down the street in my early twenties, I had a realization that scared me. I could suddenly see the kind of man I was becoming, and I knew I didn't want that future. That moment led me to question everything I thought I knew about happiness, fulfillment, and what it actually means to be free. In this episode, we explore: Why porn can be especially difficult to quit, including the three factors that make it so accessible and habit-formingHow to recognize the difference between toxic shame that keeps you hiding and healthy remorse that helps you changeWhat I learned about happiness and neuroplasticity through Buddhist philosophy, and how it changed my approach to recoveryWhy trying to empty your mind during meditation can actually reinforce self-judgment, and what to practice insteadWhat partners often misunderstand about porn addiction, and why understanding the behavior doesn't mean excusing the harm it causesIf you've ever wondered why changing a behavior can feel so difficult, or why getting what you want doesn't always make you happy, I think you'll find something valuable in this conversation. Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co 🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ Timestamps: 00:00 Jeremy's Story: When Porn Addiction Became a Problem 03:32 Welcome to Wake Up with Marci 05:36 How Jeremy's Porn Addiction Started 08:00 When Porn Began Taking Over His Mind 10:00 The Moment Jeremy Saw Where His Addiction Was Taking Him 12:16 Porn, Alcohol, and Other Forms of Escape16:52 How Porn Changed the Way Jeremy Viewed Women 20:06 When Does Porn Become a Problem? 22:29 The Three A's of Porn Addiction 24:32 Why Porn Can Be So Difficult to Quit 25:45 Understanding the Shame Cycle 29:22 Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame 31:27 Moral Shame and Moral Dread 33:19 Trauma, Insecurity, and Filling the Void 35:58 Searching for a Different Kind of Happiness 38:25 How Buddhism and Neuroplasticity Changed Jeremy's Life 41:22 Mindfulness, Meditation, and Recovery 43:51 Meditation as a Gym for the Mind 46:18 Why Meditation Isn't About Clearing Your Mind 47:13 Recovery Is More Than Sobriety 49:10 How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life 52:16 How to Start Meditating 53:03 Building a Practice of Gratitude 55:34 What Partners of Porn Addicts Need to Know 57:35 Porn Addiction as a Coping Mechanism 58:31 Where to Find Jeremy 59:06 You're Not Alone 01:01:29 Jeremy's Closing Message

  6. Oct 5

    How to Break Free From Porn & Sex Addiction | Ben Brown’s Recovery Story

    Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Ben Brown, host of The Shift podcast, to talk about his journey from years of compulsive sex, porn, validation-seeking, alcohol, and drugs into a life of recovery, purpose, and transformation. Ben shares what his life looked like before recovery, including the constant pursuit of women, escalating porn use, partying, and the feeling that he was becoming someone he thought he needed to be. We talk about the moments that finally made him realize something wasn't right, including a chance encounter with a stranger who told him how sex addiction had destroyed his life, and the experience that finally pushed Ben to walk into a recovery room. We also get into what actually helped him change: community, mentors, faith, willpower, small daily habits, and finding something meaningful to put his energy into. And Ben shares one of the biggest lessons from his recovery: you are not exempt. No matter how much shame you carry or how far gone you think you are, you can still change your life. In this episode, you'll learn: - Why addiction can become a way of escaping discomfort and seeking validation - What finally pushed Ben to seek recovery after years of compulsive behavior - Why willpower can help in the early stages but isn't enough for long-term recovery - How small daily wins can build momentum and create lasting change - Why finding a “mountain to climb” can help redirect sexual and creative energy into something meaningful Recovery doesn't happen all at once. Sometimes it starts with one small decision, one mentor, one meeting, or simply taking the first step. 🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co Connect with Ben Ben Brown / The Shift Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-shift-a-podcast-with-ben-brown/id1887649490 Instagram: @benbrown3000 https://www.instagram.com/benbrown3000/ YouTube: The Shift Podcast with Ben Brown https://www.youtube.com/@theshiftpodcastwithbenbrown Website: The Shift with Ben Brown https://www.theshiftwithbenbrown.com/

  7. Sep 28

    Why Quitting Porn Doesn’t Fix the Real Problem | Jeremy Lipkowitz Interviewed on Sam's Healing Podcast

    🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co What if stopping porn isn't actually the thing that creates lasting recovery? In this episode of Unhooked, I’m resharing a conversation I had on Sam’s Healing Podcast about porn addiction, recovery, and what it really takes to build lasting freedom. We talk about why porn itself is often not the underlying problem, but instead a way of escaping uncomfortable emotions, stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, or other difficult experiences. I also explain why simply chasing a streak or practicing sobriety without doing the deeper inner work can leave the underlying issues untouched. In this episode, you'll learn: - Why sobriety alone isn't the same as recovery and why the underlying reasons behind the behavior matter - How porn can become a coping mechanism for stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, and other uncomfortable emotions - Why I describe meditation as strength training for the mind and how it can help build greater awareness and self-control - How the Reset → Rewire → Rebuild → Restore framework supports lasting transformation - Why learning to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it is an essential part of creating real freedom If you're early in recovery and looking for a clear, grounded overview of what this work actually involves, this is a good place to start. Ready to start your recovery? Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co Timestamps: 00:00 Why Sobriety Isn’t Recovery 02:59 Welcome to Unhooked 03:37 Introducing Jeremy and Unhooked 04:47 Why I Created Unhooked 06:02 Why Do We Get Hooked on Porn? 09:05 Why Sobriety Alone Isn’t Enough 11:09 Cross-Addictions and Replacing Unhealthy Habits 12:29 Meditation as Strength Training for the Mind 15:23 Different Types of Meditation 17:01 How to Let Go of the Performance Mindset 18:22 Why a Structured Meditation Practice Matters 20:04 The Four Phases of Recovery 21:28 Reset: Getting Clear on Where You’re Going 23:32 Rewire: Using Neuroplasticity for Change 25:04 Rebuild: Changing Your Environment and Habits 26:59 Restore: Building a Life of Fulfillment 28:42 Solitude vs. Isolation 30:14 Why We Run From Unpleasant Experiences 31:56 Learning to Sit With Discomfort 32:56 Why You Have to Take Ownership of Your Recovery 34:21 Can You Really Break Free? 36:27 Where to Learn More About Unhooked 37:21 Sam’s Closing Thoughts 37:56 Final Thoughts

  8. Sep 21

    How to Heal After Infidelity: Honesty, Shame & Rebuilding Trust | Sam from Sam’s Healing Podcast

    🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/ Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co What does it actually take to heal after infidelity, and why does defensiveness make rebuilding trust so difficult? In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Sam from Sam's Healing Podcast to talk about infidelity, addiction, and what real recovery looks like after betrayal. Sam shares his own journey after an affair that turned his life upside down. We talk about why radical honesty is the first step toward healing, how defensiveness gets in the way of rebuilding trust, and why taking ownership of your actions matters so much. We also explore how childhood wounds can shape destructive coping patterns, the role of community and mentorship in recovery, and why healing looks different for every person and relationship. In this episode, you'll learn: - Why radical honesty is the first step in recovery - How defensiveness and blame-shifting get in the way of healing - The difference between guilt and shame - Why self-acceptance and accountability go hand in hand - What recovery looks like for both the unfaithful and betrayed partner - Why healing takes time and what makes rebuilding trust possible If you're navigating addiction, infidelity, or the difficult process of rebuilding trust after betrayal, this conversation is for you. Ready to start your recovery? Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co Connect with Sam: Sam's Healing Podcast on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast and podcast platforms https://www.samshealingpodcast.com/ Timestamps: 00:00 Sam's story of despair and recovery 01:39 Episode introduction 03:32 Welcome to Unhooked 04:24 Sam's journey into recovery 08:44 Why radical honesty is the first step 12:53 Becoming a student of recovery and finding support 19:48 Understanding childhood wounds and the roots of addiction 24:08 The turning point: Feeling worthy of love 30:04 Self-acceptance and doing the next right thing 35:33 Balancing self-acceptance with personal growth 40:27 Why people become defensive in recovery 41:56 Shame, guilt, and taking responsibility 45:46 What healing looks like for the betrayed partner 49:59 How long does healing after infidelity take? 52:38 Can couples truly heal after infidelity? 55:34 Where to find Sam 56:57 Closing thoughts

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Unhooked is a podcast dedicated to helping people break free from porn addiction and other compulsive behaviors related to the internet, sex, and intimacy. Rooted in Buddhist wisdom, neuroscience, coaching, and mindfulness, the show explores practical strategies for lasting recovery and personal transformation. Each episode features leading experts, scientists, coaches, and individuals in recovery, sharing their insights, experiences, and expertise to guide listeners on their path to healing and freedom.

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