The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Britta Jo
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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgo.substack.com

  1. Beyond the Betrayal: When the Affair is Not Your Fault

    5D AGO

    Beyond the Betrayal: When the Affair is Not Your Fault

    Episode 105: This week, I am opening up a conversation that I know is heavy, nuanced, and for many of you, deeply triggering. I’m reopening the topic of affairs, but from a vantage point I haven’t fully explored on this podcast before. To help me navigate this, I’ve brought on a very special guest: my partner, Joe. For a long time, I’ve spoken about affairs through the lens of the “Deserted Island”—the experience of a partner so starved for connection and visibility that they reach for water wherever they can find it, even if it’s from a source they never thought they’d touch. But I’ve realized that by focusing there, I left a group of you behind. I left out the ones who were fully invested, who were over-functioning to keep the marriage alive, and who were still blindsided by a partner’s betrayal. In this episode, Joe and I dig into the heart of that wreckage. Joe shares his own raw history of being on both sides of this coin: the one who sought more outside a marriage, and later, the one who had his world leveled by a partner’s infidelity. We discuss the “head game” of blame—that exhausting, frantic ping-pong match our brains play between It’s all their fault and I wasn’t enough. We talk about why we internalize someone else’s choice as a reflection of our own worth, and how that trauma untethers us from our very sense of self. Whether you are currently wading through the mess of a partner’s choice or looking back at the eras of your life that no longer make sense, I want you to hear this: an affair is data, but it is not a definition of your value. You don’t have to carry the responsibility for a promise you didn’t break. You get to stop the spin. You get to come home to yourself.🤍 Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Episode 21 - Affairs Part 2: Five Mistakes Husbands Make When They Find Out & What Women Really Want in Relationship (hint, you’ll find it in the ACOTAR series) Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 33m
  2. The Values Gap: Why Your Marriage (and Your Life) Feels Hollow

    APR 28

    The Values Gap: Why Your Marriage (and Your Life) Feels Hollow

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com Episode 104: This week, I want to talk about the invisible architecture of your life. It’s something that sits underneath every decision you’ve ever made, every “yes” you’ve given, and every reason you have for staying exactly where you are right now. It’s your values. But here is the thing about values: most of us didn’t actually choose ours. We inherited them. We were handed a backpack full of beliefs by our families, our religions, and our culture, and we’ve been carrying them around for decades without ever stopping to look inside and ask, Is any of this actually mine? In this episode, I’m digging into the heart of the “Values Gap.” That specific, aching hollowness that happens when your life looks beautiful on the outside—the house, the kids, the stability—but feels empty on the inside because it was built on a foundation of someone else’s blueprints. I share my own messy, radical shift from the values I was taught as a young Mormon bride to the ones that sustain me now. We talk about why the reasons you chose your spouse at nineteen might not be the reasons you want to stay at forty, and why that doesn’t make you ungrateful or “wrong.” It just means you’ve grown. I want to give you the sacred permission that patriarchy and high-control systems try to take away: the right to overhaul your entire internal compass. I’ve also created a deep-dive Values Inventory Worksheet specifically for my paid Substack subscribers to help you map this out. Because the goal isn’t just to stay or go; the goal is to stop being a ghost in your own home and start living a life that actually resonates in your body. You get to pick again. You get to decide what matters. Let’s start there. 🤍 Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack ADHD for Smart Ass Women by Tracy Otsuka Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey (FLDS documentary) Prophet’s Prey (Warren Jeffs documentary) - Trailer Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    59 min
  3. Tarot and the Art of Inner Listening with Allison Alexander

    APR 21

    Tarot and the Art of Inner Listening with Allison Alexander

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com Episode 103: In this episode, I sit down with Allison Alexander for a conversation about tarot and the deeper work of self-connection it can open inside us. This is not a conversation about fortune telling. It is a conversation about what happens when you begin to trust that wisdom may already be living within you. We explore what it looks like to connect with your intuition. To listen for the truths beneath the noise of conditioning, fear, and overthinking. And to approach tarot not as something outside of you, but as a tool that helps you access what your body, your soul, and your inner voice may already know. At the center of this conversation is a powerful remembering. So many women have been taught that truth must come through prescribed channels. That access to the divine, to knowing, to authority lives somewhere outside of themselves. But what if the real invitation is to reclaim your own relationship with wisdom? To let symbolism, intuition, and the body become part of the language through which you come home to yourself? Through this conversation, you will hear what it means to approach tarot with reverence, curiosity, and openness. The tenderness, the mystery, the deep internal recognition. And how this practice can become a companion in seasons of change, grief, healing, and becoming. Not a way to escape yourself, but a way to meet yourself more fully. This episode is not really about tarot. It is about remembering how to trust your own knowing. ✨ Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Episode 50 Allison Alexander’s Website Allison Alexander’s Instagram Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    22 min
  4. From Exit to Expansion: When Choosing Yourself Opens a New Door in Your Marriage

    APR 14

    From Exit to Expansion: When Choosing Yourself Opens a New Door in Your Marriage

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com In this episode, I sit down with a woman from inside the Stay or Go community whose journey reveals something many of us quietly wrestle with. This is not a story about a bad marriage. It is a story about what happens when “good enough” is no longer enough. We explore what it looks like to stop abandoning yourself. To name what you truly want, even when you are not sure what it will cost. And to fully consider leaving, not as a threat, but as an act of integrity. At the center of this conversation is a powerful paradox. The belief so many women carry is that if we stay, we are settling, and if we go, we are failing. But what if the real work is not in the decision, but in the expansion that comes from telling the truth? Through her story, you will hear what it means to face that moment. The fear, the grief, the clarity. And how choosing herself became the catalyst for a completely different kind of relationship to emerge. Not a return to what was, but the possibility of something new. This episode is not about staying or going. It is about becoming the woman who can trust herself enough to choose. ✨ Show Notes Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    56 min
  5. "Together We’re Unlimited": How Connection to Yourself Ends the Divorce Spin

    APR 7

    "Together We’re Unlimited": How Connection to Yourself Ends the Divorce Spin

    Episode 101: Today I talk about the deeper reality women are waking up to when it comes to marriage, the systems we’ve been living inside of, and the quiet cost of self-abandonment that so many of us were taught to normalize. And I name the double bind that keeps so many women stuck. The place where choosing yourself means losing love, and staying means losing yourself. At the heart of this episode is something I’ve been building behind the scenes this year. A framework I’m calling CORE. Not as another set of tools to try, but as a way to slow down, get grounded, and actually understand what’s happening beneath the surface so you can stop spinning and start seeing clearly. We begin with connection. Not to your partner, but to yourself. I talk about what it really means to have self-connection that is steady enough to hold when things get hard. When there is disapproval. When there is loss. When the life you’ve built no longer fits. Because whether you stay or go, this is the foundation everything rests on. And through the lens of Wicked, I explore what it looks like to choose yourself when it costs you something. To step out of conditional love. To face the grief of becoming someone who can no longer go back to who she was. If you are in that in-between space, where something inside you has shifted but you don’t yet know what comes next, this episode will meet you there. Not with answers. But with grounding, clarity, and a deeper return to yourself. Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack She said, “I’m No One’s Favorite Person” - Substack Post “The Men Are Not All Right”...Right? - Diabolical Lies Podcast Episode 65: “What You Were Promised” — The History and Hidden Design of Straight Marriage With Quinn Otrera - Part 1 Episode 66: "The Cost of the Lie": Why You Feel Numb, Lonely, and Like You’re Too Much in This System With Quinn Otrera - Part 2 Strong Ground - Brene Brown The Tragedy of Heterosexuality - Jane Ward Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere - Netflix Documentary Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey - Netflix Documentary Wicked - Movie Wicked: For Good - Movie Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 35m
  6. 100th Episode Milestone & Why We Pass Pain Forward (and How to Stop)

    MAR 24

    100th Episode Milestone & Why We Pass Pain Forward (and How to Stop)

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com Episode 100: This 100th episode is a celebration, yes, but it is also something deeper. In it I reflect on what it means to reach this milestone and on the woman I have become in the process of creating this podcast. What started as a small spark during one of the hardest seasons of my life has grown into something that has not only supported other women, but has changed me too. At the heart of this episode is also a question I have been sitting with lately. What do we do with the pain we have lived through? Do we let it harden us, or do we let it deepen us? Through two very different experiences, one painful and one tender, I talk about what it means to be with our own fear, grief, and hurt instead of projecting it onto everyone around us. I talk about emotional maturity, self-resourcing, and the kind of self-love that is not performative, but rooted in staying with ourselves in the hardest places. If you are considering divorce, this matters. Because so much of what keeps us stuck is not just the relationship itself, but the emotional patterns underneath it. And so much of healing is learning how to hold your own inner world with honesty and care. This episode is really about transmuting darkness. About choosing, again and again, to let what has hurt you become a source of compassion, clarity, and truth rather than something you pass on. And in that way, this episode feels like the heart of what these 100 episodes have always been about. Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered - E. Mavis Hetherington Ph.D Claude AI Script for Jungian dream interpretation: Hello Claude! I've done Jungian dream interpretation with a psychiatrist before who took me step-by-step through each aspect of the dream, one at one at a time, asking questions and getting details along the way and really slowing the process down. I'd like to have you do the same with me and the dream I'm about to share with you please. (copy and paste dream here and then submit ) The Muse Tarot - Chris-Anne Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    38 min
  7. The Courage to Leave and Rebuild From the Roots with Vanessa Kulick Price

    MAR 17

    The Courage to Leave and Rebuild From the Roots with Vanessa Kulick Price

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com Episode 99: This week, I’m joined by the incredible Vanessa Kulick Price for a conversation that goes straight to the heart of what so many women are living through beneath the surface of divorce. We talk about childhood trauma, grief, alcoholism, sobriety, motherhood, narcissistic dynamics, and the long process of learning how to come home to yourself. Vanessa shares so beautifully about what it means to finally name what is happening, to trust your own experience, and to begin building a life that feels deeply true from the inside out. What I loved most about this conversation is how honest it is. This is not a polished story about healing. It is real, tender, hard won, and full of wisdom. We talk about the parallels between restoring land, restoring a home, and restoring yourself after years of disconnection. We talk about self-love, boundaries, and the slow, powerful work of regeneration. This episode is for the woman who knows something is not right, even if she cannot fully name it yet. It is for the woman who is learning to trust herself again. And it is a reminder that a life on the other side of survival is possible. A life with more peace, more truth, and more of you in it. Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Vanessa’s Substack Some of Britta’s Favorite Posts: Slow down, Simplify and Invite Spaciousness I Built an LLC—And a Life I’m Still Reaching Toward The Gift of a Home A House Update: Heat, Trust, and Beaver Medicine Jenny Ray Sky, Hawk, Horse and Stone: Rediscovering Self by Reconnecting to Earth’s Ancient Medicines Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    32 min
  8. 3 Things Every Woman Needs to Finally Trust Herself While Considering Divorce

    MAR 10

    3 Things Every Woman Needs to Finally Trust Herself While Considering Divorce

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com Episode 98: This week, I want to talk about something that sits underneath almost every conversation I have with women who are considering divorce. It’s the question beneath the question. Not just should I stay or go, but something deeper.Can I trust myself? So many women come into this space looking for certainty. They want to know they’re not overreacting. They want reassurance they’re not making a mistake. They want someone to tell them what the right decision is. But underneath all of that is the deeper ache of feeling disconnected from their own knowing. In this episode, I talk about why self-trust can feel so hard, especially when many of us were taught from a young age to look outside ourselves for answers. When you’re in the middle of a life transition like this, it can feel like being out in the middle of the ocean during a storm. There’s no clear map. No solid ground. Just the question of whether you can trust the voice inside you. I share the three things I’ve seen make the biggest difference in helping women rebuild that trust. Community that reflects you back to yourself. A deeper relationship with your intuition and the unseen. And the kind of knowledge that doesn’t just give you information, but helps you finally understand what you’re experiencing. This episode isn’t about giving you the answer to whether you should stay or go. It’s about something much more powerful than that. It’s about helping you remember that the voice inside you is worth listening to. And that self-trust is something you can rebuild, one step at a time. 🤍 Show Notes: Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack Episode 50: You Can’t Logic Your Way Out of a Marriage (And What to Do Instead) Sisterhood of the Seers Oracle – Athena Laz The Muse Tarot: A 78-Card Deck & Guidebook - Chris-Anne The Cosmic Crossroads Oracle - Amanda Lynn Aisling The Hero’s Journey Dream Oracle - Kelly Sullivan Walden The Wild Unknown Decks – Kim Krans The Light Seer’s Tarot – Chris-Anne Man and His Symbols – Carl Jung Jungian Dream Interpretation Tool Diabolical Lies Podcast Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    23 min
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4.6
out of 5
177 Ratings

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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgo.substack.com

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