The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce

Britta Jo
  • 4.6 (184)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

  1. 5d ago ·  Video

    Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives in Marriage: When You’re the More Erotic Partner

    Episode 115: Mismatched sex drives in marriage? Let’s talk about reclaiming your erotic blueprint, shedding the shame, and owning your desire.  Welcome back, y'all! Hello, hello. Today, we are diving headfirst into one of my absolute favorite topics on the planet—one that is so often swept under the rug, especially when we’re trying to decide whether to stay or go. We are talking about sex drives, intimacy, and eroticism. 🌶️ I almost titled this episode "So You're Kinky AF, but Your Spouse Isn't—What to Do," but my marketing friends reminded me that we need to keep things SEO-friendly! But babes, that is exactly the heart of what we are unpacking today. For so many of us—especially those raised with heavy religious repression (hello, Mormonism! 👋)—sexuality is something we’ve been taught to control, hide, or ignore. But after my own divorce, diving into my eroticism became one of the richest, most beautiful landscapes for discovering who I actually am. In this episode, we are digging deep into: Your Erotic Blueprint 🗺️: Drawing wisdom from Jack Morin’s incredible book, The Erotic Mind, we explore how our unique turn-ons and turn-offs are shaped by our histories, our traumas, and our cultures.The Danger of Repression 🚪: Why shoving your desires into a dark closet actually makes you more likely to cause harm to yourself and others (and why owning your kinks makes them your bitch!).Mismatched Desires in Marriage ⚖️: How to evaluate if you and your spouse can actually build an intimate playground together using Emily Naguski’s Come Together framework.The Power of Self-Touch 💖: Why reclaiming your pleasure by yourself is the safest, most empowering place to start healing, resetting your nervous system, and stepping into your adult autonomy.Whether you feel like "too much" or you’ve completely shut down your desire to survive a sexless marriage, please hear me: Your eroticism is the very energy of life itself. You cannot cut it off without cutting off your own growth. If this episode sparks a hunger in you to dive deeper into your own marriage dynamic, I would love to hold space for you. Grab a 90-Minute Session with me, or text "Stay or Go Community" to 33777 to join our radically supportive, pleasure-positive sisterhood. 👭✨ Let's stop letting our pleasure be an afterthought, babes. You deserve to run wild. So much love,  Britta xoxo Show Notes: The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin Come Together: The Science and Art of Creating Lasting Sexual Connection by Emily Naguski Come As You Are by Emily Naguski Apple: Episode 97: Fate vs. Destiny Spotify: Episode 97: Fate vs. Destiny Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives in Marriage: When You’re the More Erotic Partner

  2. Jul 7 ·  Video

    Divorce After 28 Years: Choosing the Hard Truth Over a Perfect Image With LeeAnna

    Episode 114: What happens when your life looks absolutely perfect on the outside, but on the inside, you are completely starving for a deeper, more authentic connection? This week, I am sitting down with my client turned dear friend, LeeAnna, for a deeply vulnerable, unfiltered conversation about what it actually looks like to face a divorce after 28 years of marriage while grappling with childhood trauma and insecure attachment. LeeAnna opens up about the painful reality of leaving a marriage that wasn’t inherently "bad" or abusive, but was plagued by a low-level, insidious emotional neglect. From navigating the deep shame of an affair to the heartbreak of letting go of her award-winning dream home, LeeAnna shares how she stopped hyper-functioning to avoid her pain and finally learned how to sit in the "stew" of her reality to choose herself. If you are a type-A perfectionist who has spent your life collecting quantities (years of marriage, money, status) instead of focusing on emotional quality, this episode is a permission slip to embrace the messy transition and reclaim your autonomy. In this episode, we explore: The "Gilded Cage" Dilemma: Choosing the truth of the inside over the beautiful, perfect image on the outside.Insecure Attachment & CPTSD: Recognizing emotional flashbacks and breaking the cycle of dissociation in your relationships.The Chemistry of "Parts Work": How integrating your dark, traumatized, and acting-out parts allows you to show up as a whole adult.The Reality of Leaving with Love: Why setting boundaries and choosing divorce can be the ultimate act of kindness for both partners.Life On the Other Side: How LeeAnna rapidly built a massive, authentic life—including a new home, a classical Pilates studio, a trauma-informed podcast, and a deeply attuned new partnership—in just a few short monthsShow Notes: Connect with LeeAnna: Vocavo Health (Find LeeAnna inside our community guiding Pilates sessions for our Strong Ground theme!) Law Firm Recommendation (Dallas/Texas) Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    Divorce After 28 Years: Choosing the Hard Truth Over a Perfect Image With LeeAnna

  3. Jun 30 ·  Video

    Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce

    Episode 113: You don't trust yourself because you've been taught not to love yourself. 💔 If you are constantly drowning in doubt, feeling paralyzed by the decision to stay or go, and wondering why you can’t just make a choice and move forward—this deep, incredibly vulnerable episode is for you. This week, I’m pulling back the curtain on a massive piece of the puzzle that so many women considering divorce completely miss. 🧠✨ The root of your self-doubt isn’t just standard marital distress. It actually ties back to a deep-seated childhood injury: insecure attachment, or what author Kelly McDaniel beautifully calls "Mother Hunger." If you grew up in an environment where mistakes weren't okay, or where your boundaries had to be violated just to keep the peace, your body stored that fear. Now, your marriage has become a literal proxy for your childhood trauma, leaving your nervous system constantly on fire. 🔥 In this episode, I’m breaking down: The 6 eye-opening points from the book Mother Hunger that completely blew my mind. 📚Why trying to heal your attachment wounds while trapped in a toxic marriage is an absolute fantasy. 🙅‍♀️Implicit memory: How your body remembers the first two years of your life, even if your conscious brain doesn't. 🧬The Savior Complex: The lie patriarchy sells us that we can endlessly sacrifice our own boundaries to save our partners (spoiler alert: we are human, not superhumans!).The launchpad to freedom: Why finding a community of securely attached women—a true sisterhood—is the ultimate predictor of your future health and happiness. 👯‍♀️❤️Babes, I’m being so real with you today because I know this quicksand intimately. I’m sharing my own recent, raw breakdown on my therapist's couch to show you that healing is a lifelong process, but you don't have to do it alone. You deserve structural scaffolding, safety, and a launchpad out of the burning building. 🚀 👇 Ready to build your launchpad and step into deep, life-altering work? I’ve brought my deep-dive one-on-one coaching container back to the front, and for a temporary time, I'm lowering the price by 16%. Let's see if we are a fit to walk this path together: CLICK HERE to book your one-on-one Alignment & Clarity Call! Loving this episode? Come join the conversation over on Substack, drop a review, or share this with a sister who needs to hear this truth today. Till next week, sending you so much love! 🤟💗 Connect with Britta: Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 Show Notes: Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal From Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance by Kelly McDaniel Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker Episode 12 Apple: Attachment Theory & It's Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage Episode 12 Spotify: Attachment Theory & It's Hidden Impacts on Your Marriage Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    Why You Don't Trust Yourself When It Comes to Divorce

  4. Jun 23 ·  Video

    Two Questions for Self-Care While Considering Divorce

    Episode 112: Considering divorce? These two essential self-care questions will help you ground yourself when everything feels overwhelming.  Hey y'all, let’s just take a collective deep breath together. After a few heavy, deeply intellectual episodes, I felt it in my bones that we needed to slow down, vibe, and get back to the absolute basics this week. When I was in the thick of navigating my own separation and trying to decide whether to stay or go, my therapist started every single session with the same two questions. She didn’t dive into the big philosophical drama—she brought me right back to my body. In this episode, I’m asking you those same two questions: How is your sleep? And how is your eating going? 🛋️✨ We dig into why these two foundational pillars of self-care are the very first things to unravel when we’re stressed, and why skipping them makes big life decisions ten times harder. I’m opening up about my own struggles with summer schedules, my holy-grail trick for blocking out the noise (hello, neon orange earplugs! 🧡), and how a fascinating book called Mother Hunger sheds light on why so many of us restrict or overeat when our nervous systems are totally revved up. If you’ve been taught that prioritizing yourself is selfish or dangerous, let this be your gentle permission slip to remother yourself this week. You cannot resource your future if you are running on empty right now. Put the checklist down, listen in, and let’s take care of you first. Resources: Episode 12: Boundaries – The Life Coach School Podcast Episode 163: Boundaries 2.0– The Life Coach School Podcast Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniels  Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    Two Questions for Self-Care While Considering Divorce

  5. Jun 16 ·  Video

    Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

    Episode 111: Hey loves! Welcome back to the podcast. Today, Quinn and I are wrapping up our two-part series on historian Gerda Lerner, and we are diving deep into her incredible book, The Creation of Feminist Consciousness. We’re unpacking exactly how women have spent the last 1,500 years fighting to break free from patriarchal programming and own their minds. 🧠✨ Before we get into the history, I have a quick but super important business update. Regular Tuesday episodes won't be posted on Substack anymore. To support the show, please switch your listening over to Apple or Spotify, hit follow, and leave a quick review or comment. It takes two seconds but helps massive amounts with the algorithm!  To my Substack babes: don't worry, this space isn't going away. It’s shifting into my exclusive hub where I'll be dropping extra goodies, values worksheets, tarot freebies, and personal essays just for you. 💖 In today's episode, Quinn and I are looking at what it means to actually "self-authorize"—to believe you have a right to your own thoughts and choices. For centuries, women were taught that our only purpose was to pour all our energy into the emotional, sexual, and professional development of a man (shoutout to f*****g Jerry! 😂). We talk about how women's history was systematically erased, forcing generations of brilliant women to reinvent the wheel in isolation like lonely Robinson Crusoes on desert islands. 🏝️ We also break down the four things women absolutely need to turn their dreams into real-world freedom: Economic independence 💰Reproductive control 🤰Equal access to education 📚Autonomous social spaces outside the family unit 👯‍♀️That fourth piece is exactly what we’ve built in our community—a space away from the male gaze where you can realize you aren't "too much," you're just brilliant. Once you see through the matrix of patriarchal thought, you can never unsee it. 🌍✨ Pop in your headphones and let’s dive in! Show Notes: Extra ✨bonus✨ material can be found on Substack for my paid subscribers. stayorgo.substack.com Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner Who Cooked Adam Smith's Dinner? by Katrine Marçal  The Exceptions by Kate Zernike  Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez  The Power by Naomi Alderman  Women's War series by Jenna Glass  SUFFS on PBS / Broadway Ladies First on Netflix  Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    Why Men Get to Succeed and Women Get Exhausted with Quinn Otrera

  6. Jun 9

    What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

    Episode 110: Hello, hello, babes! 💕 Oh my goodness, my heart is so incredibly full because the beautiful Yin to my Yang—the gorgeous, brilliant Quinn—is officially BACK! 🥰 It feels just like the good old days, vibing out together and diving straight into the deep end. For this episode, Quinn and I really took one for the team. We spent weeks digging into the meaty, mind-blowing work of historian Gerda Lerner’s The Creation of Patriarchy, and let me tell you... once you see the matrix, you cannot unsee it. 😲 If you are sitting there considering divorce, feeling psychologically exhausted, or constantly wondering, "Am I the crazy one?"—please take a deep breath right now. 😮‍💨 This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself. We are breaking down how the world was artificially engineered by men, for men, and why we internalize these thousands-of-years-old systems as personal failures. Quinn and I are tracking the whole trajectory, from ancient Mother Goddess worship to the "Genesis hit job" that flipped the script on our power. 🐍 Here is what we are unpacking: The Neolithic Team: How early tribes relied on true mutuality, and why the "trad-wife" illusion is anything but natural. 🌾The Agricultural Shift: How shifting to farming turned the sacred female body into a commodity to be owned and controlled. 🚜The Patriarchal Bargain: How systemic hierarchies strategically divided women from each other to keep the play running. 🎭Rewriting the Divine: How men conscripted God into their own image to justify dominating half the population. 👑This isn't about doing to men what they did to us—it’s about waking up to true mutuality and stepping off the stage of a play we didn't write. 🛑 When we band together in true sisterhood and refuse to play our assigned, supportive roles, the patriarch's play finally comes to an end. 👭💥 Please send this episode to your sisters, your besties, and your moms. We need to know our history so we don't fall for the ploy again! If you are looking for your ultimate "girls' girls" community to hold you through this fog, we are waiting for you! ✨ Text "stay or go community" to 33777 to join us. Plus, Quinn is back doing her legendary tarot readings in the community this summer (jaws are dropping, babes, so don't ask what you don't want to know! 🔮). 1:1 90-minute coaching links are below. I love you, I see you, and we will see you next week! Sending so much love. 💖🛋️ Show Notes: Extra ✨bonus✨ material can be found on Substack for my paid subscribers. stayorgo.substack.com Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook The Creation of Patriarchy PDF - Gerda Lerner The Creation of Patriarchy  - Gerda Lerner The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera

  7. Jun 2

    When Life Takes Us Places We Didn’t Expect: The Hard Truth of Admitting It’s Not Working

    Episode 109: Hello, my loves. Welcome back. Today’s episode is a deeply personal, vulnerable, and ultimately liberating one for me. For the past eight months, I have been spinning in a messy internal loop, trying to force a business model that just wasn’t working. Instead of looking at the numbers cleanly, my conditioning told me I just needed to try harder, surrender more, and carry the entire weight of the world on my shoulders. If you are currently considering divorce, this loop probably sounds incredibly familiar. So often, we look inward and blame ourselves for a failing marriage, believing that walking away means we can’t trust our own judgment or that we have failed as the emotional anchors of our families. After a beautifully raw reality check with my coach, Quinn, I finally embraced a truth I want to hand to you today: it's okay to realize you made a mistake and pivot. In this episode, I’m sharing the messy journey behind my major decision to remove the paywall and return the podcast to a completely free, open resource for everyone, permanently. We are diving into the trap of hyper-independence, shedding old conditioning, and learning how to pivot in a rebellious act of self-love. ✨ Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Work With Me in The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive 🌊 Show Notes: The "Click Clack Symphony" Video Substack DM/Contact Page The "Good Guy" Article The Human Design Episode with Deanna The Creation of Patriarchy - Gerda Lerner The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner The Light Seers Tarot Deck - Eight of Cups Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe Support the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    When Life Takes Us Places We Didn’t Expect: The Hard Truth of Admitting It’s Not Working

  8. May 26

    The "Sacred Marriage": Why Your Shadow Holds Keys to Your Power with Dani Granaroli

    Episode 108: We are so often told that self-connection is about positive vibes, daily mantras, and focusing only on the light. But if you have ever hit a wall with traditional manifestation work—if you have found yourself feeling completely stuck despite your best efforts—you already know there is a deeper layer of yourself waiting to be met. This week, I am so excited to introduce you to Dani. We met back in 2024 in a coach training container, and she is hands-down one of the most uniquely grounded, delightful, and artistic coaches I have ever worked with. In my own moments of feeling fractured, Dani is the person who created a space safe enough for my deepest, most hidden parts to finally creep out and be seen. In this episode, we dig into what it actually means to bring together our light and dark parts through what Dani calls the “alchemical marriage of opposites.” She shares her journey from living as a highly dissociated, intellect-driven human to anchoring deeply in her body through myofascial release, the deep mind-mapping of Dr. Robert, and the paradigm-shifting world of Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink. What We Dig Into: * The Backdoor Ego Agenda: How we often try to do shadow work with a secret condition (“I’ll look at my darkness, but only if it gives me what I want”), and what happens when we ask: What if this never changes? * The Energy of Resistance: Why it takes so much work to keep parts of ourselves repressed, and how finding approval for your shadow liberates your creative force. * Slowing Down to Titrate: Moving away from treating our bodies like machines and learning how to sit with intense emotions for just 30 seconds at a time. * Parts Work and the Savior Complex: Why every single part of you loves you and has a positive intention—even the messy ones—and how to stop giving until you burn out. * Money as the “Final Boss”: A transparent look at why money, receiving, and worth are the ultimate playgrounds for shadow work. If you are navigating the disorienting, in-between space of considering divorce, or if you are just exhausted from treating your personal growth like a grueling chore, this conversation is a breath of fresh air. It is an invitation to move away from heavy “healing work” and step into deep, soulful play. Show Notes: Connect with Dani: Dani’s Website Dani’s Instagram Dominion Community Penetrate Radio Podcast: Apple Spotify Instagram YouTube iHeart Radio John Barnes Myofascial Release The Light Dark Institute Dr. Robert Dee McDonald Christina Morassi Luis Mojica Carolyn Elliot Connect with Britta: Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨ Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️ Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫 YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribeSupport the show Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack YouTube Channel The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive Stay or Go Community Instagram Facebook

    The "Sacred Marriage": Why Your Shadow Holds Keys to Your Power with Dani Granaroli
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Stay or Go is the bold, no-BS space where women on the edge of divorce find clarity, courage, and the unapologetic power to choose their future. stayorgogocoaching.com

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