Softly Unfiltered

Ashlyn & Blake

Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences. Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing. If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕 New episodes every Wednesday.

  1. 6d ago ·  Video

    All I Need to Do Is Stay Black and Die | The Pressure to Make Everyone Else Comfortable

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that every Black woman in a predominantly white space has felt but does not always have the language for. The invisible labor of performing palatability. The exhaustion of scanning every room. The pressure to shrink yourself, over-explain yourself, and apologize for taking up space. And the very real question of how you stay pro-Black while climbing in institutions that were not built for you. We got into: • Why as Black women our confidence is sometimes too big for the room and why that is never our problem to fix • Blake's experience at a hotel pool in Santa Monica where her group was the first to arrive and the last to be served • The invisible layers of walking into every space as a Black woman and why white people will never understand that specific tax • Emma Grede, corporate success, and the question of what parts of yourself you are expected to sacrifice to make it • How to stop apologizing, stop over-explaining, and stop tiptoeing at work when you are simply doing your job • The real question of how you stay pro-Black while climbing in institutions that do not look like you • The difference between adapting to survive and completely abandoning your identity as a Black person • Why we are the blueprint, the trendsetters, and why nothing is cool until we do it first Soft Landing: Stay true to your Blackness. Do not abandon yourself for acceptance. We are the blueprint and we are the trendsetters. Always remember that. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us about a time you had to decide between fitting in and staying true to yourself. 📩 Email us: Softlyunfiltered@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    All I Need to Do Is Stay Black and Die | The Pressure to Make Everyone Else Comfortable

  2. Jul 1 ·  Video

    What If Changing Direction Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You?

    Welcome to Season 3 of Softly Unfiltered. Formerly known as Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we're back with a new name, the same mission, and a season opener that felt only right. Because what better way to kick off a rebrand than by talking about what happens when life forces you to change direction? In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn unpack the pivots, redirections, fear, and even grief that come with letting go of the plan you thought your life was supposed to follow. Whether you're navigating a career change, ending a relationship, starting over, or simply realizing your life is taking a different path than you imagined, this conversation is for you. We got into: Why the thing you're most afraid to leave behind is often the thing you'll be most grateful you walked away fromThe difference between quitting and pivoting—and how to know which one you're actually doingHow Softly Unfiltered came to be and why we'd have continued these conversations under any nameWhy you can't take advice from people who haven't done what you're trying to do—and why your life is not a democracyThe one question to ask yourself before giving up: If this became easy tomorrow, would you still want it?How fear quietly keeps people stuck on paths they've already outgrownWhy worrying about what everyone thinks is one of the biggest things keeping women from pivotingReal listener stories about the pivots that changed everything Soft Landing: Changing direction isn't losing yourself. Sometimes the life you're meant to live is waiting on the other side of the plan you had to let go of. If this episode resonated, we'd love to hear from you. Tell us about a pivot in your life that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. 📧 Email us: SoftlyUnfilteredpod@gmail.com 📲 Follow us on all platforms: @SoftlyUnfilteredpod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

    What If Changing Direction Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You?

  3. Jun 24 ·  Video

    Why Are Girls Low Key Weird? | The Truth About Female Friendships and Female Rivalry

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something every woman has experienced but rarely says out loud. Why do female friendships sometimes come with unspoken competition instead of pure support? Why does the energy shift the moment you start surpassing someone? They get into jealousy, passive aggression, social media as a hater detector, and what it actually means to protect your peace in friendships that have started to feel weird. We got into: • Why people clap for you as long as they feel like they're ahead of you and what happens the moment you surpass them • The difference between intent and impact and why understanding someone's insecurity doesn't excuse how they treat you • Why someone else's success can feel like a mirror reflecting what they haven't done yet • The exact moment a compliment starts to feel like a dig and why people pull away once you start glowing up • Blake's honest take on purposely posting accomplishments just to see who shows up and who stays quiet • Why social media has become the clearest sign of where you actually stand with people • The spiritual perspective on celebrating your friends' wins and why their blessing means yours is close too ✨Mantra Moment: Not everyone who smiles with you is celebrating you. People can care about you and still feel threatened by your growth. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us about the time you felt the energy shift in a friendship after you started winning. 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Why Are Girls Low Key Weird? | The Truth About Female Friendships and Female Rivalry

  4. Jun 17 ·  Video

    You're Not Asking for Too Much, You're Just Done Settling | Standards vs. Settling

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something a lot of women have felt but couldn't always name. The difference between being fed up and being truly done. What settling actually looks like in real life, not the dramatic version but the quiet everyday version where you're pretending you're happy and dimming your light to keep the peace. And why you were never asking for too much. You were just finally asking the right questions. We got into: Why people stop benefiting from you when you stop playing small and why raising your standards exposes who was never enoughWhat the word done actually means when a woman says it and why disgust is the turning point that has no returnWhat settling looks like in real life including protecting him more than you protect yourselfWhy the rules of this world were not built with Black women in mind and why your timeline is yours aloneThe three table relationship concept and why Blake does not want to become enmeshed in a partnershipWhy shame in your relationship is already the answer and the reality TV test that tells you everythingWhat being done settling actually means and why it has nothing to do with giving up on love Mantra Moment: Being done settling doesn't mean you're giving all hope up of love. It means you're done ignoring your intuition. If this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know what being done settling looks like for you. 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    You're Not Asking for Too Much, You're Just Done Settling | Standards vs. Settling

  5. Jun 10 ·  Video

    She Has Everything But A Man | Why a Woman's Life Is Never Allowed to Just Be Enough on Its Own

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that does not get said enough. Why is a woman's life never allowed to just be enough on its own? Why does a successful, accomplished, thriving single woman still get treated like she is missing something? And why is it always a man that is supposed to complete the picture? They get into the double standards, the societal pressure, the dating dynamics that come with being a high value woman, and what it actually looks like to build a full life without making love the missing piece. We got into: • Why successful single women are seen as incomplete while successful single men are called a catch • How being a high value woman makes dating harder and why men resent the same qualities they were drawn to • Why Blake said she refuses to be a single mother in a marriage and what that actually means • The woman who has everything she ever dreamed of and is still considered less valuable without a man • What Blake would do if she had a letter from God confirming her person was on the way • Why Ashlyn says stop waiting on a man to make big life decisions and build your accomplishments now • Blake's honest take on not wanting a merged life and what parallel tables actually look like in a relationshipIf this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever felt like your life was not being taken seriously because you were single 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    She Has Everything But A Man | Why a Woman's Life Is Never Allowed to Just Be Enough on Its Own

  6. Jun 3 ·  Video

    You Can Be Confident and Still Have Low Self-Worth | Why We Accept Less Than We Deserve

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are breaking down something that a lot of high achieving women have felt but could never fully name. You can be the most confident, accomplished, successful woman in the room and still not believe you deserve the things you have built. That is the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. And in this episode they get deeply personal about where that gap comes from and what closing it actually looks like. We got into: • The real difference between self-esteem and self-worth and why you can have one without the other • Why high achieving women often have the highest self-esteem and the lowest self-worth at the same time • How achieving becomes the substitute for worth and what happens when the wins stop coming • Blake asking herself what a less qualified white man would ask for in a salary negotiation and doing it anyway • How toxic relationships and corporate environments both slowly rewrite how you see yourself • Ashlyn opening up about a toxic relationship that took years to recover from and the stool that got moved • Why your blessings are sometimes blocked by the dead weight you haven't let go of yet • The mantra Blake gave herself in January that reframed everything Mantra Moment: I am worthy not because of what I do but because of who I am. The work is closing that gap. If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were confident on the outside but still accepting less than you deserved. 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    You Can Be Confident and Still Have Low Self-Worth | Why We Accept Less Than We Deserve

  7. May 27 ·  Video

    The Dating Insecurities You Have When You Grew Up Invisible | Black Girl Dating Experience

    In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something deeply personal and rarely talked about. The dating insecurities that come from growing up invisible. They talk about what happens when you grow up as a Black girl in predominantly white spaces, how not feeling chosen early on shapes your confidence, your standards, and your entire approach to love and dating as an adult. We got into: • How growing up without early romantic attention creates patterns you carry into adult dating • Why Blake and Ashlyn both overperformed to earn love instead of knowing they were worthy just for existing • Why dating is not encouraged for Black girls the way it is for their white counterparts and how that gap shows up later • The painful experience of having parents who called you beautiful but a world outside that invalidated it • Being dared to be asked out as a joke and not even knowing it at the time • Why comparison is the biggest thief and how to protect your timeline when everyone around you seems ahead • What Blake and Ashlyn would tell their younger selves and the message they want every invisible girl to hear Mantra Moment: Growing up invisible doesn't mean you were unworthy. It means the environment didn't reflect your value back to you. If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us one thing you wish someone had told you when you were growing up and feeling unseen. 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    The Dating Insecurities You Have When You Grew Up Invisible | Black Girl Dating Experience

  8. May 20 ·  Video

    Dating the Potential Rich Man | When Believing in Someone Becomes Emotional Labor

    In this episode we are getting into something that a lot of women have experienced but not always been able to name. Dating the potential rich man. What happens when you believe in someone so much that you start abandoning your own timeline to help them stay on track with theirs? When does patience become emotional labor? And at what point do you have to look yourself in the eye and say this potential is not actualizing? We got into: • Why women stay too long in relationships with potential and how it becomes self abandonment without you even realizing it • The difference between supporting someone and actually carrying them • When consistency is the real measure of progress and what stalled ambition actually looks like • Why society praises women for staying through cheating and hardship but shames them for walking away • The moment you realize you thought you were showing grace but you were abandoning your own needs • Why the keep a man conversation is never directed at men and what that man is doing to keep you • What a healthy dynamic actually looks like when both people are contributing and building together Mantra Moment: Potential is not a promise. Consistency is. Real partnership is built on patterns and not projections. If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were investing in someone's future more than they were investing in their own present. 📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

    Dating the Potential Rich Man | When Believing in Someone Becomes Emotional Labor
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4.8
out of 5
33 Ratings

About

Hosted by Ashlyn and Blake, two multifaceted Black women based in Houston, Softly Unfiltered is where soft meets honest. Each week, we get real about personal growth, healing, navigating corporate America, and the messy, funny, and complex realities of modern dating. From breaking generational cycles to finding our voice in spaces that weren't built for us, our conversations blend honesty, humor, and hard truths—all rooted in our lived experiences. Whether we're swapping stories, tackling trending topics, or unpacking the unspoken rules of friendship, relationships, beauty, ambition, and womanhood, we're here to remind you that you can be soft and strong, ambitious and at peace, healed and still healing. If you've ever felt like you're balancing a hundred different versions of yourself, welcome. This is a space for the multifaceted girlies. Pull up a seat. The group chat is live. 💕 New episodes every Wednesday.

Information

  • Creator
    Ashlyn & Blake
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    87
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Ashlyn & Blake
  • Show Website
    Softly Unfiltered

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