Shannon Says So

Shannon

What you wish other women were talking about-the truth about wellness, friendship, business, and anything else that deserves truth-telling from an internet auntie 

Episodes

  1. 3d ago

    09-In Defense of Gossip

    Drop me a note... Why Talking About People Isn't Always a Bad Thing I'm gonna formally come out as pro-gossip. Somewhere along the way, we decided that talking about other people is automatically a character flaw. But what if gossip isn't always toxic? What if it's actually an important part of how women communicate, build friendships, share information, and figure out who the hell they can trust? In this episode of Shannon Says So, we're talking about the psychology of gossip, relationships, social dynamics, and why being “nice” isn't always the same thing as being kind. Because sometimes gossip is petty and mean. Absolutely. But sometimes it's how we process experiences, compare notes, warn a friend, or realize we're not the only person who noticed something was off. We're getting into the difference between venting and campaigning, why politeness can keep important information buried, and how gossip can strengthen friendships and community when it's handled responsibly. And yes, there's an ethical line. We're talking about that too. My argument? Gossip isn't automatically the problem. What you're saying, why you're saying it, and what you're hoping happens next matter a whole lot more. And since every one of us will eventually be the subject of gossip, we might as well have an honest conversation about it. In This Episode Why gossip isn't always bad, and how it can help women share important informationThe difference between harmless gossip, venting, and intentionally damaging someone's reputationHow gossip influences friendships, trust, relationships, and communityWhy being nice and being kind are not always the same thingWhen sharing information is helpful and when it crosses an ethical lineWhy social consequences for bad behavior aren't automatically a bad thing psychology of gossip, is gossip bad, benefits of gossip, gossip and relationships, gossip among women, female friendships, social dynamics, communication in relationships, gossip vs venting, toxic gossip, gossip and trust, social connection, community, ethics of gossip. 📲 Follow along for more on IG at Shannon Says So ✨ Get Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c 🔗 Shop wellness favorites: https://bit.ly/ShopShannonSaysSo

  2. Oct 13

    08-Not Everything That Makes You Uncomfortable is Toxic

    Drop me a note... Over-Therapizing Normal Human Discomfort I think we've gotten a little too comfortable diagnosing normal human discomfort. An awkward conversation? Toxic. Someone disagrees with you? They're violating your peace. Something makes you anxious? Clearly, it's a sign you shouldn't do it. Listen, I'm all for therapy, mental health awareness, healthy boundaries, and protecting yourself from genuinely harmful situations,but I think we've started confusing being uncomfortable with being unsafe. Those are not always the same thing. In this episode of Shannon Says So, we're talking about anxiety, therapy culture, emotional resilience, relationships, boundaries, and why avoiding every uncomfortable feeling might actually be making our lives smaller. Because building community requires showing up. Healthy relationships involve difficult conversations. Personal growth involves uncertainty. And sometimes anxiety is simply what happens when you're doing something unfamiliar, not proof you're making the wrong decision. Discomfort is information. It isn't always instruction. I don't want a life where nothing ever makes me uncomfortable. I want a life where discomfort doesn't get the deciding vote. In this episode Why we're over-pathologizing normal human emotionsAnxiety vs. danger: when discomfort deserves attention and when it doesn't need to dictate your decisionsHow therapy language can change the way we interpret relationships and everyday experiencesWhy community, friendship, and meaningful relationships require uncomfortable conversationsWhen “protecting your peace” becomes avoiding your lifeHow therapy, self-awareness, and emotional resilience can help us tolerate difficult feelingsThe difference between pushing through ordinary discomfort and recognizing genuinely harmful situationsChapters 00:00 — Are We Over-Therapizing Normal Discomfort? 02:34 — Why Being Uncomfortable Doesn't Always Mean Something Is Wrong 09:40 — Friendship, Community & Showing Up 11:04 — How Therapy Language Shapes Our Experiences 12:12 — Discomfort Is Information, Not Always Instruction 17:19 — Anxiety, Uncertainty & Everyday Life 22:43 — Normal Anxiety vs. Anxiety That Interferes With Your Life 27:44 — What Good Therapy Is Actually For 29:02 — Why Healthy Relationships Aren't Always Comfortable 32:05 — Building Emotional Resilience 34:36 — Knowing When to Push Through—and When to Pay Attention 39:32 — Your Internet Auntie Homework: The Discomfort Audit Therapy culture, over-therapizing, mental health, normal human discomfort, anxiety vs danger, emotional resilience, emotional regulation, healthy boundaries, protecting your peace, avoidance behaviors, discomfort and personal growth, difficult conversations, healthy relationships, friendship and community, self-awareness, emotional growth, therapy language, building resilience, coping with anxiety, personal development for women. . 📲 Follow along for more on IG at Shannon Says So ✨ Get Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c 🔗 Shop wellness favorites: https://bit.ly/ShopShannonSaysSo

  3. Oct 6

    07-Low Maintenance is B******t

    Drop me a note... There is no award for being the woman who requires the least. No trophy arrives because you never asked for help. Nobody gives you a medal because you handled everything yourself, never inconvenienced anyone, swallowed what you needed, and became so damn competent that everyone around you eventually assumed you didn't need anything at all. And yet a LOT of women have built an entire identity around exactly that. I'm easy. I'm independent. I'm low maintenance. I've got it. Don't worry about me. Until one day you're quietly furious that nobody is taking care of you. In this episode of Shannon Says So, we're talking about hyper-independence in women, the pressure to be “low maintenance,” asking for help, emotional needs, relationships, financial independence, self-advocacy, and the trap of becoming the woman who can handle everything. Being capable is a wonderful thing. Believing you aren't allowed to need anything because you're capable is something else entirely. We're getting into why hyper-independence can develop as a protective response, what happens when competence becomes your entire identity, and why being exceptionally good at handling things often results in people handing you even MORE things to handle. That's the s****y little secret of competence: Competence gets rewarded with more responsibility. Whether you're asking your partner for more support, telling a doctor you need them to keep looking, asking someone to help you carry something, or simply admitting that you want more from your life: Making your needs visible is a skill. And for some of us, it's a skill we desperately need to practice. HOMEWORK This week, pay attention to how often you automatically say: “I've got it.” Then ask yourself: Do I actually want to do this myself—or is accepting help uncomfortable for me? Where have I made my needs invisible and then felt resentful that nobody noticed them? What am I hoping someone will magically offer that I haven't actually asked for? Where has being “the competent one” become an excuse for other people to expect more from me? And maybe the hardest one: What do I want right now that I've been afraid will make me look needy, demanding, difficult, selfish or high maintenance? Then practice saying one of those things out loud. Because you're allowed to have needs even when you're perfectly capable of meeting them yourself. CHAPTERS 00:00 — Hyper-Independence: When “I Can Do It Myself” Becomes an Identity 02:51 — Why Being “Low Maintenance” Isn't Always a Compliment 05:47 — The Competent Woman Trap 10:05 — Why Asking for Help Feels So Damn Hard 16:02 — Invisible Needs, Resentment & Relationships 20:06 — Financial Independence Doesn't Mean Needing Nobody 23:54 — Health Advocacy: Making Your Needs Visible 27:56 — Healthy Independence vs. Hyper-Independence 32:11 — How to Ask for What You Actually Need hyper-independence, hyper-independence in women, hyper-independence trauma response, signs of hyper-independence, healthy independence, asking for help, why asking for help is hard, low maintenance woman, being low maintenance, competent women, high-functioning women, women and emotional needs, communicating needs in relationships, resentment in relationships, vulnerability in relationships, emotional vulnerability, financial independence for women, women's financial independence, self-advocacy for women, health advocacy, advocating for yourself at the doctor, women's wellness, people pleasing, self-awareness, personal development for women, women who do everything, mental load, invisible labor 📲 Follow along for more on IG at Shannon Says So ✨ Get Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c 🔗 Shop wellness favorites: https://bit.ly/ShopShannonSaysSo

  4. Sep 29

    06-You Don’t Need More Discipline: Build Wellness Habits That Actually Work for You

    Drop me a note... You know you should probably eat more protein, move your body, get enough sleep, drink some damn water, and generally do the things that make you feel better. So why is it so hard to actually keep doing them? I don't think women have a wellness information problem. I think we have a human behavior problem. Because knowing what to do and actually building a life where you consistently do it are two completely different things. In this episode of Shannon Says So, we're talking about healthy habits, behavior change, nutrition, accountability, mindset, and why the exact same wellness plan can work beautifully for one woman and make another want to throw her Owala across the room. (And no, the answer isn't that one of them has more discipline 🤪) We're getting into the differences between moderators and abstainers, Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies framework, internal versus external accountability, and why understanding your own patterns can make taking care of yourself a hell of a lot easier. Because some people do well with “everything in moderation.” Other people spend approximately 87% of their mental energy negotiating with themselves about the thing they're supposedly enjoying in moderation. 😂 Some women can decide they're going to work out three times this week and just...do it. Others are significantly more likely to show up if somebody is waiting for them. Neither is morally superior. They're different behavior patterns. And once you understand yours, you can stop building wellness routines for the imaginary version of yourself who wakes up every morning thrilled to meal prep and start building one for the actual human being living your life. We'll talk about why self-knowledge matters more than copying someone else's routine, how accountability can help healthy habits stick, when flexibility helps and when it makes things harder, and the questions I think you should ask before deciding that the next diet, challenge, workout plan, supplement routine, or wellness trend is finally going to be the thing. The goal isn't to become the woman who follows the “perfect” wellness plan. The goal is to build a way of taking care of yourself that actually works in your real life. Because you do not win wellness because you suffered the most. And the plan that looks best on paper doesn't mean shit if you can't live with it. Take 4 Tendencies Quiz here: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/ IN THIS EPISODE We're talking about why healthy habits don't stick, the role human behavior plays in wellness, and why struggling with consistency doesn't automatically mean you need more willpower or discipline. I break down moderators vs. abstainers and how each can approach food and wellness differently, plus the Four Tendencies-Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel-and how expectations and accountability can influence behavior. We also get into why copying someone else's diet, workout routine, morning routine, or wellness plan can backfire; how to recognize the conditions that make healthy choices easier for you; and how to create sustainable wellness habits around your actual personality and life instead of constantly trying to become someone else. KEY TAKEAWAYS Knowing what to do isn't the same as knowing how to get yourself to do it. Information alone doesn't create behavior change.  The same nutrition or wellness strategy can feel easy for one woman and miserable for another. Moderators and abstainers may need very different approaches. Flexibility can make one person feel free and another spend all damn day negotiating with herself.  Accountability isn't a weakness. If knowing someone expects you to show up helps you follow through, use the hell out of it.  Understanding how you respond to internal and external expectations can help you build better systems for exercise, nutrition and other healthy habits.  Stop assuming someone else's success proves their routine is the one you should copy.  Before starting another wellness strategy, ask why it worked or didn't work for you before instead of immediately blaming yourself.  Your wellness routine should work on ordinary days,not just during the week when you're extremely motivated and your groceries are perfectly organized. Self-knowledge is a wellness skill. Learn your patterns and build around what actually helps you.  You do not get extra credit for choosing the hardest possible way to take care of yourself. SOUND BITES 00:00 — “The best wellness plan is the one that works for you.” 05:46 — “Wellness has a human behavior problem, not a habit problem.” 16:47 — “Understanding your tendencies can help you succeed in wellness.” 37:08 — “The goal is to build a way of taking care of yourself that works.” 37:22 — “You do not win wellness because you suffer the most.” 38:14 — “Learn your patterns and build around what helps you.” CHAPTERS 00:00 — Why the “Best” Wellness Plan Might Be Wrong for You 05:46 — Why Wellness Is a Human Behavior Problem 13:12 — Moderator or Abstainer? Why It Matters for Your Healthy Habits 22:14 — The Four Tendencies: Motivation, Expectations & Accountability 30:38 — Stop Copying Other People's Wellness Routines 36:10 — How to Build Healthy Habits That Actually Stick healthy habits for women, sustainable healthy habits, wellness for women, women's health and wellness, how to build healthy habits, why healthy habits don't stick, behavior change, wellness habits, nutrition habits, healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyle for women, consistency with healthy habits, motivation for healthy habits, self-discipline, accountability, accountability for health goals, moderators vs abstainers, Four Tendencies, Gretchen Rubin Four Tendencies, Upholder Questioner Obliger Rebel, personalized wellness, sustainable wellness, exercise habits, nutrition habits, wellness mindset, self-care for women, personal development for women 📲 Follow along for more on IG at Shannon Says So ✨ Get Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c 🔗 Shop wellness favorites: https://bit.ly/ShopShannonSaysSo

  5. Sep 22

    05-Your Soft Life is Gonna Require Money-On Women, Work, and Having Options

    Drop me a note... Soft lives are f*****g expensive. We’ve spent years talking about burnout in women, hustle culture, work-life balance, self-care, and the pressure women feel to do everything. And a lot of that conversation needed to happen. But I think we may have overcorrected. Because somewhere between the boss-babe era and the soft-life era, we created another ridiculous binary for women: Work yourself into the ground, or stop wanting so much. I reject both. In this episode of Shannon Says So, we’re talking about women, money, ambition, motherhood, financial independence, entrepreneurship, and why I don’t necessarily want women to work less-I want women to have better options. Because sometimes the problem isn't that you're doing too much. Sometimes what you're doing simply isn't giving enough back. Not enough money.  Not enough autonomy.  Not enough purpose.  Not enough flexibility.  Not enough ownership.  Not enough options. I talk about the difference between hard work you choose and a life that leaves you feeling powerless, why self-care can't fix work that drains the hell out of you, and why wanting something beyond motherhood doesn't mean you love your family any less. I'm also sharing my own experience raising five kids while wanting a professional identity, income, flexibility, challenge, and something that was mine. And yes, we're talking about women and money. Because money isn't your worth. Money isn't the entire point. But money creates options. Options to get help. Take care of people you love. Travel. Invest. Build something. Change direction. Weather an emergency. Leave something that isn't working. Or stay because you genuinely choose to, not because you can't afford another choice. We'll also talk about why I believe a soft life requires economic power, why ambition isn't something women need to apologize for, what building my own business gave me beyond income, and how health, money, confidence, and agency are all connected. I don't want women exhausted from proving they can do everything. But I also don't want women making themselves smaller and calling it peace. If you've ever wondered whether you actually want to do less, or whether you just want more from the things you're already doing, this one's for you. IN THIS EPISODE We get into the soft life movement vs. hustle culture, why “do less” isn't always the answer to burnout, and the difference between being busy and feeling powerless. We talk about motherhood and professional identity, wanting something that's yours without loving your family any less, financial independence and why money creates choices, women and ambition, entrepreneurship and flexible work, and why hard work can feel completely different when you actually chose it. And underneath all of it is one question: What is the life you're working so hard at actually giving back to you? KEY TAKEAWAYS Soft lives require resources. Rest, support, outsourcing, flexibility and choices often have a financial component.  Women don't have to choose between toxic hustle culture and opting out of ambition altogether.  Sometimes burnout isn't only about doing too much; it's about doing things that give too little back. Chosen difficulty feels different from powerlessness. Hard work can be deeply satisfying when it aligns with your values and goals.  Motherhood and ambition can coexist. Loving your family doesn't require abandoning your desire for income, growth, challenge or a professional identity. Money creates options. Financial independence isn't about proving your worth through income; it's about expanding the choices available to you.  Wanting more doesn't automatically make you greedy, ungrateful or dissatisfied with the life you already have.  A “soft life” without access to resources can quickly become dependence rather than freedom.  Building a business gave me more than income-it gave me flexibility, skills, relationships, challenge, ownership and something that was mine.  Health, money and confidence all affect agency: what you're physically able to do, what you can afford to choose, and what you're willing to go after.HOMEWORK Ask yourself: What in my life is taking a lot from me and giving very little back? Where do I have fewer options than I want? What would more money actually allow me to choose? And the big one: Do I genuinely want to do less, or do I want MORE of something I'm not getting? Don't give me the respectable answer. Give me the true one. SOUND BITES / CLIPS 00:00 — “Soft lives are f*****g expensive.” 02:12 — “I want women to have better options.” 14:24 — “What is this giving me back?” 22:58 — “Hard work does not bother me.” 27:40 — “I needed something that was mine.” 29:44 — “Two things can be true at the same time.” 30:09 — “I wanted both.” 32:19 — “Money creates options.” 35:40 — “I want you doing it because you choose it.” 39:52 — “Do you have options if circumstances change?” soft life, soft life movement, hustle culture, burnout in women, women and money, financial independence for women, women and ambition, working moms, motherhood and career, motherhood and identity, work-life balance for women, women entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurship, making money as a woman, financial empowerment, flexible work, purpose and fulfillment, personal development for women, women's wellness, self-confidence, life choices, economic independence 📲 Follow along for more on IG at Shannon Says So ✨ Get Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c 🔗 Shop wellness favorites: https://bit.ly/ShopShannonSaysSo

  6. Sep 15

    04-You Don't Need More Confidence, You Need More Receipts

    Drop me a note... What if the reason you don’t feel confident is because you’re waiting for confidence to show up before you do the thing that would actually create it? We have confidence backwards. You don’t magically become confident and then speak up, start the business, make the decision, set the boundary, post the thing, ask for what you want, or walk into the room like you belong there. You do the uncomfortable thing first. Confidence is the receipt. In this episode of Shannon Says So, we’re talking about how to build real confidence and self-trust when you don’t feel ready, you’re afraid of making the wrong decision, or your brain would prefer approximately 47 additional pieces of evidence before allowing you to proceed. Because confidence isn’t the absence of fear. It isn’t being the loudest person in the room. And it sure as hell isn’t waiting until you can guarantee everything will work out. It’s building enough evidence that you know: Whatever happens, I trust myself to handle it. We’re getting into how keeping tiny promises to yourself builds self-trust, why constantly borrowing other people’s opinions can make you less confident, and how competence creates confidence in everything from your health and relationships to your career and business. We’ll also talk about your emotional résumé-all the hard, scary, complicated shit you've already survived that your brain conveniently forgets when you're afraid of doing something new. Plus: why perfectionism is often just fear wearing a respectable outfit, why B+ work that exists beats A+ work nobody ever sees, and why some of the most important confidence-building happens when absolutely nobody is clapping for you. Because keeping the boundary, honoring the commitment, making the decision, having the uncomfortable conversation, and doing what you said you would do when nobody is watching? Those are receipts. And receipts are how you learn to trust yourself. In this episode: How to build confidence through action instead of waiting to feel readyWhy self-trust is the foundation of genuine confidenceHow keeping small promises to yourself changes the way you see yourselfWhy fear and confidence can exist at the exact same timeHow overthinking and constantly asking for other people's opinions can weaken your confidenceWhy competence matters—and how getting better at something naturally creates confidenceHow to make decisions when you don't have certainty or guaranteesWhy perfectionism keeps you hidden (and why we're embracing B+ work around here)How your values, boundaries, and private choices affect your self-respectHow to use your “emotional résumé” as evidence that you can handle hard thingsThe seven-day Confidence Blueprint I created to help you stop thinking about confidence and actually practice building itTime Stamps 1:02 — Confidence is built through action2:03 — Keep promises to yourself5:29 — Your emotional resume6:34 — Trust your own judgment7:24 — Competency creates confidence8:13 — Act without certainty9:19 — Let your life reflect your values10:21 — Build confidence in private11:29 — The Confidence Blueprint13:33 — Closing takeaway Your assignment: Pick one small promise you're going to keep to yourself today. Then choose one thing you've been avoiding because you “don't feel confident enough yet” and take the smallest possible action toward it. Make the decision. Send the email. Post the thing. Ask the question. Have the conversation. You don't need to know how everything turns out. You need another receipt that says: I did the uncomfortable thing, I handled what happened next, and I can trust myself. And if you want to put this episode into practice instead of feeling inspired for 14 minutes and then going back to your regularly scheduled life 😂, grab The Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c It's seven days of small, uncomfortable challenges designed to help you stop waiting until you feel ready and start collecting evidence that you can handle some shit. You don't need more confidence before you start. Starting is how you build it. 📲 Follow along for more on IG at Shannon Says So ✨ Get Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c 🔗 Shop wellness favorites: https://bit.ly/ShopShannonSaysSo

  7. Sep 8

    03-You're Not Burnt Out, You're Bored

    Drop me a note... Are you actually burned out, or are you bored as hell with a life that looks perfectly good on paper? In this episode, Shannon talks about something women don't say out loud nearly enough: you can love your life, be grateful for what you have, and still feel stuck, restless, unfulfilled, or desperate for something that feels like yours again. Sometimes we call all of that “burnout” when what we’re really missing is excitement, challenge, anticipation, or a reason to feel like an active participant in our own lives. Shannon shares what this has looked like in her own life and explores the difference between genuine burnout and boredom, why competent women can become really damn good at maintaining lives that no longer excite them, and why wanting more doesn't mean you need to blow up everything you've already built. In this episode, you'll hear about: How to recognize burnout vs. boredom when you're feeling exhausted, restless, or stuck in a rut Why women often feel guilty admitting they're bored or want more from life How motherhood, work, marriage, and everyday responsibilities can slowly crowd out the parts of you that are just you Why having something to anticipate may matter more than adding another self-care routine Questions to help you figure out what makes you feel interested, challenged, curious, and alive Small ways to make your life more interesting without quitting your job, moving across the country, or setting your perfectly decent life on fire 😂 If you've been thinking “Is this just my life now?”, this episode is for you. You might not need an entirely new life. You might just need something new to feel alive inside the one you already have. And you're allowed to want that without apologizing for it. 📲 Follow along for more on IG at Shannon Says So ✨ Get Confidence Blueprint: https://stan.store/ShannonSaysSo/p/the-confidence-blueprint--nmf9wr6c 🔗 Shop wellness favorites: https://bit.ly/ShopShannonSaysSo

5
out of 5
11 Ratings

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What you wish other women were talking about-the truth about wellness, friendship, business, and anything else that deserves truth-telling from an internet auntie 

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