The Way You Show Up

Kimberly Beam Holmes, PhD
  • 4.9 (409)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Most people are living a version of themselves that they never choose.You've been showing up for your spouse, your kids, and your career—but you've been doing it on autopilot. You're living within a ceiling built by your past and sustained by your habits.I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.New episodes every Tuesday.Don't just exist. Show up.

  1. 5d ago

    What To Do When You Feel Like A Failure

    I failed my driver's test before I ever pulled out of the parking lot. Sixteen years old. Red Miata convertible. The one thing I wanted more than anything. Gone in under a minute. I sat through the rest of that test convinced I could win her over. I couldn't. And all I could think about was that everyone at school was going to know. All my friends were going to know. I was the girl who failed. I've been driving for twenty years now. I almost never think about it. Here's what I want you to hear. You will fail at things. People will judge you for it. I'm not going to sit here and promise you that everyone is kind and nobody is watching, because that isn't true. Sometimes they are watching. Sometimes they are judging. But you only get two options. Sit in it and let it define you. Or decide what you do next. Maybe right now the failure everyone can see is your marriage. Your spouse left. You're the one sitting alone at church. Your kids are struggling and people notice. It feels like your whole life is on display and you're the cautionary tale. You still get to decide what comes next. Also in this episode, I'm answering your questions. How do you carry the emotional pain of a spouse who has been unfaithful and is telling people lies about you. Why your husband may be hiding the truth from you, and the uncomfortable question you have to ask yourself before trust can ever get rebuilt. Fair warning, this is the kind of answer that gets me hate mail. What to do when your spouse moves back home but sleeps in the guest room and clearly isn't there for the marriage. Then Coach Meredith joins me to talk about what she's seeing inside the Coaching Lab, why people make progress faster in groups, and how much it changes things when someone finally notices you're growing. In Study Scripture With Me, we're in Psalm 23. I walked that terrain in Israel and it completely changed how I read this psalm. Sheep don't lie down because you make them. Sheep lie down because they feel safe. That one detail reframes the entire thing. And in the Hot Seat, I answered rapid fire questions while doing burpees. We still don't agree on how many I actually did. You will fail. Things will not go as planned. People will judge you. Get back up, drive forward, and prove them wrong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  2. Jul 16

    Stop Trying To Fix Your Marriage Fast

    Everyone wants to sprint through the hard part of marriage. I understand why. When there's been infidelity. When trust has been broken. When you feel more like roommates than husband and wife. You want it over as fast as you possibly can. But I'll tell you something that surprises a lot of people. The faster a reconciliation happens, the bigger the red flag it is to me. Marriage was never meant to be a sprint. It's a marathon. In this episode, I share what running has taught me about the hardest seasons of a relationship. You don't run the hills. You walk them. Because when you try to summit a hill as fast as you can, you reach the top exhausted, overexerted, and ready to quit. But when you walk it, slow and intentional, you get to the top with enough left in you to keep going. That's what I want for your marriage. Not just surviving until death do you part. Actually enjoying each other the whole way there. Then we get into your questions. How do you know when you've stood long enough after a divorce, and what's the difference between standing around and actually moving forward. What to do when your spouse files and you're the one who removed the obstacle. And how to hold onto your marriage when your spouse walks away from the faith that once held you both together. We also open the word together in Psalm 139. A study on the God who searches you, knows every part of you, and still calls you fearfully and wonderfully made. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  3. Jul 9

    3 Hidden Triggers Behind Every Argument You Have

    You think the fight was about the medicine. It wasn't. It was never about the medicine, the dishes, the text you forgot to send, or who said what first. Every argument you've ever had walked in carrying three invisible passengers.  Your past.  Your personality.  Your point of view. And your spouse brought their own three into the room, too. In this video, I break down what's actually happening inside both people the moment a conversation starts to heat up. Why something as small as "please pick up my prescription" can turn into a full-blown rupture in under thirty seconds. I'll walk you through the exact fight my husband and I had over a grocery run. What I felt. What he felt. And the three things I did in the hour after to flip it. Calm down.  Get curious instead of furious.  Lean in. Because here's the truth. You can't put the egg back in the shell once it cracks. But you can decide what happens next. You can clean it up and pretend it never happened.  Or you can flip it and make something out of it. That's the difference between a rupture that quietly ends a marriage and a repair that makes it stronger. And it's rarely the big betrayals that break people. It's the small cracks in the day-to-day that nobody ever goes back to fix. I'll show you how to spot your three, understand theirs, and turn the next heated moment into a repair instead of a wound. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  4. Jul 2

    The One Thing I Did That Saved My Marriage (It Wasn’t Couples Therapy)

    DM me the word PIES for a chance to have your question read! https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes You can't change your spouse. You can't change your circumstances. But you can change you. And it turns out that's the only thing that ever actually works. A few years ago, I was working 100-hour weeks. My marriage was falling apart. And one morning I ended up on my bathroom floor after another fight, thinking, "I can't do this anymore." That was the day everything shifted. Not because I walked away. Because I finally stopped waiting for everyone else to change and started with me. This is the very first episode of The Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes Show. And I'm handing you the exact framework I used that morning and still use today. It's called the PIES. Physical. Intellectual. Emotional. Spiritual. The four areas of your life you actually get to control. The place the love path begins. I break down what each one really means, how to take honest stock of yours right now, and why becoming your best self is only the start of falling back in love. Then we get into your questions. A woman married 41 years who's never been in love. A separated spouse wondering why anyone would ever come back. A husband asking whether God changes hearts. We open up 1 Samuel 15 together. We survive the hot seat. And I give you your very first challenge of the week. This is just the beginning. Stay strong. Click here to apply to work directly with myself and Dr. Joe: https://bit.ly/4b2PwKw I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  5. Jun 23

    When Everything Is NOT Fine

    You know that meme. The dog sitting in a room that's completely on fire, saying "this is fine." What do you do when that's actually your life? In this video, I want to talk about the thing most of us do when something hard is sitting right in the middle of our path. We avoid it. We walk around it. We wait for it to move on its own. But here's what I've learned. The obstacle is the way. The conversation you've been dreading for months, maybe even years. The boundary you're scared to set. The thing you keep skipping because it's uncomfortable. That's usually the exact thing you need to do to grow. I'll share the story of a hike that did not go as planned, the conversation with my sister I put off for 20 years, and the difference between having a hard conversation for personal gain versus relationship gain. Because most of the time, the thing you're avoiding isn't the end of you. It's the start of the strength you didn't know you had. So today, ask yourself: what's the hard thing you keep walking around? Then go do it. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  6. Jun 16

    The One Thing All Successful People Know

    Everybody wants the hack. The pill. The shortcut. The version of success that happens while you sleep. I get it. I've wanted it too. But after years of researching motivation, self-esteem, and what it actually takes to reach a goal, here's the truth most people don't want to hear. There is no hack. The one thing every successful person has in common isn't talent or luck or some secret system. It's that they run toward the hard thing instead of away from it. In this video I tell you about the headache that wouldn't quit for two and a half weeks, the 18 needles it took to finally fix it, and why that pain taught me everything about how people actually change. Avoiding the hard conversation won't save your relationship.  Working around the problem won't get you the promotion.  The thing you're most scared to face is the exact thing standing between you and what you want. The obstacle is the way. I'll also walk you through the PIES framework. Physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual. Four areas to look at honestly so you can find the one that's quietly holding you back right now. Stop trying to go around it. Go through it. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  7. Jun 9

    I Feel Like The Sacrifice God Hasn't Used Yet

    I felt cut open and exposed. Not metaphorically. Like I had poured out every single thing I had and was just lying there, waiting on God to move. The last two years have been some of the hardest of my life. My dad's cancer. Financial stress. A lot of change all at once. I got to the end of my rope and thought, God, I've given everything I know how to give. Now what? Then I opened up Genesis 15. If you've studied this chapter, you know it's where God makes a covenant with Abraham. The cut-open animals. The blazing torch. The smoking firepot. Most people read right past it. But once you understand what's actually happening, it changes everything. In this video, I walk through that story. The covenant Abraham was too afraid to walk through. The deep, dreadful darkness that fell over him. And the moment God did something no one saw coming. I also share why I've felt less like Abraham lately and more like those animals on the altar. And what Romans 12:1 has to do with all of it. Because here's the shift. So much of our faith gets stuck on what God can do for us. The promise. The purpose. The good he'll work out for our lives. All true. But it was never supposed to be about us. We're called to be a living sacrifice. Cut open. Poured out. So that God can work through us for his glory, not just our comfort. That's a hard thing to sit in. Especially in a season like this one. But it's also where the hope is. Not in what we can see. In what we can't. Count it all joy. Even now. Especially now. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

  8. Jun 2

    How To Be The Bigger Person When Someone Lies About You

    Someone lied about me. Not a small lie. The kind that twists your words, takes them out of context, and drags your name through the mud in front of an audience. And I'll be honest with you. It made me angry. I wanted to write the email. I wanted the last word. I wanted everyone to hear my side of the story. If you've ever been gossiped about, lied about, or watched someone tell a version of you that simply wasn't true, you know exactly what that feels like. So what do you actually do? In this video, I walk through how to handle it without becoming the very thing that hurt you. How to name the lie and say the truth. Why "everyone has to like me" might be the deeper lie you're telling yourself. How to find a pressure release before you react. What it really means to give up your right for revenge. And the question a mentor once asked me that completely changed how I respond. Being the bigger person doesn't mean being a doormat. It doesn't mean staying silent every single time. It means deciding who you want to become before you decide what you want to say. Watch the full video, then tell me in the comments: how have you handled someone lying about you? And after watching this, what would you do differently now? Until next time, stay strong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

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4.9
out of 5
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About

Most people are living a version of themselves that they never choose.You've been showing up for your spouse, your kids, and your career—but you've been doing it on autopilot. You're living within a ceiling built by your past and sustained by your habits.I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.New episodes every Tuesday.Don't just exist. Show up.

Information

  • Creator
    Kimberly Beam Holmes, PhD
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    280
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 PIES University, LLC.
  • Show Website
    The Way You Show Up

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