85 episodes

The early years of a child’s life are the most important for their long-term development. Sometimes, the abundance of information out there can feel overwhelming and difficult to navigate. My New Life is here to support parents and help make sense of the science behind early learning.

I’m Jessica Rolph, mother of three and CEO of Lovevery. With the help of experts from around the world, we break down all the child development science into usable nuggets of knowledge that you can put to the test in your own home.

My New Life Lovevery

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.9 • 636 Ratings

The early years of a child’s life are the most important for their long-term development. Sometimes, the abundance of information out there can feel overwhelming and difficult to navigate. My New Life is here to support parents and help make sense of the science behind early learning.

I’m Jessica Rolph, mother of three and CEO of Lovevery. With the help of experts from around the world, we break down all the child development science into usable nuggets of knowledge that you can put to the test in your own home.

    Executive function: Managing frustration

    Executive function: Managing frustration

    Success in life — that looks different for everyone. But skills like persistence, managing frustration and emotional regulation tend to scaffold that success, no matter what the end result looks like.
    These skills are all part of what scientists call executive function, something we’re focusing on this season. We like to talk about executive function, because young children have lots of chances to practice these skills!
    In this episode, we look at how to build frustration tolerance. One of the best ways to do that is to play games — games where your child occasionally loses! Joining My New Life Host Jessica Rolph is Licensed Clinical Social Worker and founder of Starr Therapy, Talia Filippelli. She is a Genius of Play ambassador and has contributed to the Emotional Wellness Playbook.
     
    Takeaways:
    Our brains develop back to front over our lifespan, and the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive function, isn’t fully developed until age 30. So adjust your expectations accordingly! Play is a great place to start building these skills.


    Coach your child through losing a game, rather than avoiding your child’s unhappiness at all costs. Explaining that every game has a loser, can help develop appropriate expectations. Talia starts games with her child by explaining: “I can’t tell you who’s going to win. I can’t predict the future. We don’t know how this is going to go.”


    If your child’s frustration is mounting (particularly if siblings are involved) encourage them to take a pause and to recognize the signals in their body: “I can see you’re getting frustrated. And I can tell because I see you’re moving all your pieces around...” Then validate their feelings and encourage them to put their feelings to words: “Tell me about what’s making you feel frustrated about this game.” If children don’t have the language to express what they’re feeling, they will often resort to behaviors, some of them unwelcome.


    The Lovevery wooden emotion dolls can help with emotional coaching. Ask your child where they feel the frustration in their body and point it out on the figure.


    With children who prefer tasks and games that are easy for them, Talia likes to introduce the word “challenge”. “You’re so good at this game, why not go for something that’s going to be a little harder and see how you do? Challenges can be fun!” 
     
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Brought to you by Lovevery.com 
    Find Talia Filippelli at Starr Therapy
    Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com
    Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
     

    • 25 min
    Executive function: Thinking ahead

    Executive function: Thinking ahead

    Executive functioning skills are important, because they help us achieve our goals. Children with strong executive functioning skills have the focus, patience, flexibility and resilience to succeed in—and out—of school. 
    While children continue to develop these skills into adolescence, research shows they surge at 4 years old. And they can be really fun to practice! In this episode, My New Life Host Jessica Rolph welcomes Whitman Professor of Psychology Dr. Melissa Clearfield a second time.
    She first appeared on the show 3 years ago to discuss her research demonstrating differences in executive function in infants. This time, the focus is on executive function in older children, specifically a child’s ability to think ahead, a component of working memory.
    Takeaways:
    The three pillars of executive function are: impulse control, working memory, and cognitive flexibility. The Lovevery Reach for the Stars Matching Cards — where you sort by shape, and then code switch to sort the same cards by color — are a great way to practice cognitive flexibility.


    Executive function stems from attention, being able to focus on the right things and block out distractors. This is challenging at ages 3, 4 and 5 because of a child’s still-developing impulse control. Working on that selective, sustained focus is primary at this stage, and is best achieved through play with an adult.
    The concept of time is still very vague before the age of 5. “We’re leaving in 15 minutes” has little meaning. Sequencing, however, is something they can do! “We have three things to do. Can we get them all done before your sister gets home?” The Lovevery countdown timer helps reinforce this skill visually.
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Brought to you by Lovevery.com 
    Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com
    Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
     

    • 23 min
    When parenting feels unequal

    When parenting feels unequal

    Our guest today is a mother of four children, ages 5 to 17. She knows well how the demands of parenting can run you into the ground. She made the choice to step off the “struggle bus of overwhelm” — as she calls it — but it was a move that took time, and conscious effort.
    The secret? Establishing clear boundaries. And choosing not to identify with the “mother as martyr” role. So many of us look for our partners to validate how hard we are working, before we give ourselves permission to delegate and take a break. Or hold onto resentment because we feel we are shouldering more than our fair share of the parenting burden. 
    In this episode, Julie Tenner gives us permission to ask: What do I need to show up as the best version of myself in this family? She is an Australian-based relationship expert who shares her wisdom as co-host of the podcast Nourishing the Mother. You can also find her at julietenner.love.
    Takeaways:
    If you find yourself resenting the people you love, it’s a sign you need to re-enforce your boundaries. Score-keeping is something we slip into when we’re feeling under-valued. Time to have a conversation with your partner about what you need out of each of your roles.


    This conversation around roles is constantly shifting. Revisit the agreements you make regularly because our needs as adults shift with the changing children around us. Julie likes to think about it as tending to the you, to the me, to the us and to the family inc.


    Julie talked about setting limits around breastfeeding and the inevitable resistance that a mother will come up against. Responding to your baby’s cries from a loving place, firm in your boundaries, can sound like: “Yeah, it’s really hard for you. I know you really want to have a feed, but I can’t give that to you right now, but I love you and I’m here.”


    Julie is a big fan of delegating. She reminds us that when delegating, we need to let go of how the task is executed. It’s not going to look exactly like it would have, if you had done it. But we can’t do this work on our own, so time to lean into the team!
     
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Brought to you by Lovevery.com 
    Find Julie Tenner at julietenner.love
    Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com
    Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram

    • 24 min
    Helping children deal with change

    Helping children deal with change

    Why can change be so unsettling for our toddlers? I mean, change up the snack crackers and you may have a major crisis on your hands. On this episode of My New Life, Jessical Rolph hosts Lael Stone, author of “Raising Resilient and Compassionate Children”. Never is our resilience put to the test more so than in the face of change.
    If you and your family are changing things up — be it a new home, new caregiver, or a new school, Lael will help you navigate what can be tricky terrain with your child. In addition to her work as a parent educator, she is a mother of three. You can find Lael @laelstone.
    Takeaways:
    A great way to ease children into a big change (or even a smaller transition) is to create pictures and talk through what’s going to happen, who’s going to be there, and how it’s going to look. For those children that thrive on information, this dispels some of the anxiety around uncertainty.


    Make an effort to view change through the lens of your child. Even something like a visit to a new playground can feel scary. Meet their concerns with empathy and compassion rather than attempting to fix the situation, or justify why it’s no big deal.


    Children process what’s going on around them through play. Help your child to explore changes by creating a similar scenario with their favorite toys. It’s a great time to ask questions like: How do you think Teddy is feeling about moving to a new home?


    Change often makes children feel powerless. Try a power reversal game to restore some sense of power. This is a game where your child gets to be faster or stronger or know more than you do!
     
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Brought to you by Lovevery.com 
    Find Lael Stone @laelstone
    Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com
    Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram

    • 21 min
    Managing expectations as a mother

    Managing expectations as a mother

    For the most part, limits provide a framework that helps everyone move through the day more fluidly, and with less friction. But on this episode of My New Life, we discuss limiting beliefs — beliefs that interfere with our own wellbeing and that of our family. 
    A big one is the notion that we can “have it all”. For parents who work outside the home, this can compound the pressure we already feel to be in more than one place at a time. And for parents who work inside the home, the line between family and professional needs gets easily blurred. Leaving everyone wondering: Am I a good enough fill-in-the-blank… parent? employee? boss?
    Psychologist and motherhood coach Yara Heary knows this dance all too well, and she’s here to help us explore how these limiting beliefs show up for us, because being aware of these thoughts is the first step toward changing them. You can find Yara @lifeafterbirthpsychology. 
    Takeaways:
    Host Jessica Rolph shared one of her own limiting beliefs: I’m not a present enough parent. Yara encouraged her to look at the standard to which she’s measuring her worth as a mother. Where did that standard come from? What is enough? This goes for any of the limiting beliefs we have.


    Yara ascribes to the notion that you can have it all, but not all at the same time. There are seasons when one or another role is going to take priority. Give yourself permission to settle into the current role, knowing that there will come a time when you can switch hats.


    When caring for young children, it can often feel like you haven’t “achieved” much. But that comes down to what we perceive as meaningful. If you write down all that you’ve ticked off in a day, it may be easier to re-evaluate those tasks as meaningful, valuable care-taking.


    If you’re working outside the home and finding the separation painful, focus on 10 minutes of special time with your child each day. This is a time where the phone is out of reach and you’re following your child’s lead. If your child has trouble saying goodbye when you leave for work, talk about this special ritual you will have, when it will happen and what it will look like. 
     
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Brought to you by Lovevery.com 
    Find Yara Heary @lifeafterbirthpsychology
    Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com
    Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
     

    • 23 min
    Expert in neurodiversity Dr. Billy on emotional regulation

    Expert in neurodiversity Dr. Billy on emotional regulation

    We welcome Dr. Billy Garvey to this episode of My New Life. He runs a clinic in Melbourne, Australia, that helps parents focus on their children’s strengths, and move through some of their challenges. 
    The clinic has a 3-year waitlist and after listening to this episode, you’ll understand why: Dr. Billy is really good at helping caregivers and children connect in those moments when stronger limits are needed. He works with a lot of neurodiverse children, and brings that adaptive lens to our conversation. Dr. Billy is @drbillygarvey and has his own podcast, Pop Culture Parenting. 
    Takeaways:
    When your child is elevated — hitting or lashing out — it’s not the time to build skills. Our role in that moment is to show them they are safe. Rather than instructing them to “settle down,” take that moment to be a calming presence for your child.


    You might be thinking: I can’t believe that set them off! But Dr. Billy reminds us that the same sensitivity that feeds the emotional dysregulation also makes them really receptive to positive feedback — so focus on their strengths and harnessing those. Look for opportunities to praise them when they are interacting positively with a sibling or doing what they’ve been asked.


    Struggling to get out the door in the morning? See if you can chunk the larger request into smaller ones. For example, start with a specific 2-step direction (put on your socks and shoes) and, once that is mastered, you can move onto more steps.


    If your child is repeating a behavior that you’d like to see less of, be sure to give them an alternative rather than simply asking them to stop. If the behavior involves another child, create some distance, whenever possible. They need time to cool off.
     
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Brought to you by Lovevery.com 
    Find Dr. Billy Garvey @drbillygarvey
    Receive weekly emails about your child’s development, and stay in the know about new play essentials, promos, and more by signing up at Lovevery.com
    Follow Lovevery and Jessica Rolph on Instagram
     

    • 26 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
636 Ratings

636 Ratings

Caitie Daidone Coaching ,

So good!

I just wish there were more episodes. & While I’m here I’ll also just say getting the playkit subscription has been an amazing decision for my family :)

Fachelface ,

Fantastic podcast

I hope more episodes will come out soon!

Dan Dan Jordan ,

Making better humans

This podcast is helping to raise better humans and to give parents knowledge and confidence. Im not a parent yet, but this podcast has helped it not seem so scary and overwhelming and I can’t wait to apply these techniques to my future children.

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