Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity

Leslie Mathews
  • 5.0 (7)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Pulling Threads is a podcast for women navigating life, career, past and current trauma, breakups and divorce, motherhood, reinvention, and the brave work of becoming who they’re meant to be. Hosted by therapist, coach, and founder of The LooM Life, Leslie Mathews, JD, MSW, this show blends trauma-informed guidance, nervous system education, and meaningful conversations about the patterns that shape our relationships, identity, and purpose. Each episode explores the complicated places where life asks us to grow — healing from emotional abuse, rebuilding after divorce, midlife identity shifts, attachment wounds, dating again, motherhood, and rediscovering your voice. Many guests share their own stories of reinvention, entrepreneurship, career pivots, and stepping into authenticity, offering inspiration and practical wisdom for women building new chapters. Through expert interviews, personal storytelling, and mindfulness-based tools, Pulling Threads supports women who are healing, expanding, and creating aligned lives and businesses. It’s a space for those navigating toxic dynamics, strengthening emotional regulation, or following the pull toward something more authentic and more fulfilling. If you’re ready to untangle old patterns, trust your intuition, and weave a life — and identity — that feels grounded, empowered, and true, this podcast is where your next chapter begins.

  1. 10h ago

    Reclaiming Intimacy: Healing Self-Abandonment in Women

    If years of over-functioning have left you feeling checked out, numb, or disconnected from your own life, this episode is for you. Sex therapist and intimacy coach Dr. Tabitha Taylor joins Leslie to talk about what it really means to reclaim intimacy from the inside out — and why it starts with you, not your partner. 🌿 Ready to feel like yourself again after divorce or a breakup? → THROUGH — Leslie's 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 🌿 Grab Tabitha's free Gentle Reconnection Guide: → https://drtabithataylor.com ABOUT THIS EPISODE Over-functioning women often don't realize how far they've drifted from themselves until exhaustion, numbness, low libido, or a quiet sense of "I'm not really here" forces the question. In this conversation, Leslie and Dr. Tabitha Taylor unpack the quiet cost of self-abandonment — and how reconnection can be a gentle, micro-moment process rather than another performance to perfect. Together they explore why intimacy is so much more than physical, what "reclaiming intimacy from the inside out" actually means, and how trust and safety within yourself are the real foundation for trust and safety with a partner. Leslie shares her own embodiment story — including the EMDR moment at 47 when she realized she was feeling sensation in her body for the first time — and the post-divorce period of self-discovery that changed everything about how she experiences intimacy now. Whether you're in a relationship that's drifted into autopilot, walking through a divorce or breakup, or in the in-between period of rediscovering who you are, this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself. IN THIS EPISODE What "living checked out" looks like — and the early signs of disconnection Why self-abandonment is invisible to the person doing it How over-functioning trains your nervous system into numbness What reclaiming intimacy from the inside out really means Why trust and safety within yourself comes before trust with a partner The difference between performing intimacy and being present in it How to start with micro-moments instead of another self-improvement checklist Self-pleasure, anatomy education, and reclaiming pleasure post-divorce Why becoming connected can change — or end — relationships, and why that's okay WORK WITH LESLIE 🌿 THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 🌿 1:1 coaching & discovery calls: https://theloomlife.com 🌿 Therapy services: https://loomlifetherapy.com 🌿 Leslie's website: https://leslieellenmathews.com CONNECT WITH LESLIE 🌿 Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life 🌿 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews ABOUT TABITHA TAYLOR Dr. Tabitha Taylor is a Licensed Professional Counselor, certified sex therapist, and intimacy coach. She helps over-functioning women heal from disconnection, self-abandonment, and living checked out — reclaiming intimacy from the inside out through nervous system healing, reconnection, and self-led intimacy. She also hosts the podcast Checked In: Reclaiming Intimacy from the Inside Out. CONNECT WITH TABITHA 🌿 Website: https://drtabithataylor.com 🌿 Instagram: https://instagram.com/drtabtaylor 🌿 Facebook: Tab Taylor Coaching 🌿 Coaching group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/drtabcoaching 🌿 Email: drtab@drtabcoaching.com 🌿 Free Gentle Reconnection Guide: available at https://drtabithataylor.com 🌿 Tabitha's podcast: Checked In: Reclaiming Intimacy from the Inside Out RESOURCES MENTIONED 🌿 OMGYes.com — anatomy and pleasure education referenced in the conversation 🌿 Sex With Emily — podcast referenced by Leslie 🌿 Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) — Leslie's mindfulness training SUBSCRIBE TO PULLING THREADS, WEAVING AUTHENTICITY If this conversation resonated, please subscribe, rate, and share. New episodes weekly. TIMESTAMP 00:00 Introduction 01:34 Intimacy Is More Than Sex 04:52 What Intimacy Really Means 06:13 Signs of Self-Disconnection 09:20 Self-Abandonment 12:10 Reconnecting with Yourself 15:08 Choosing Yourself Without Guilt 17:10 Reclaiming Intimacy 20:18 The Divorce Glow Up 22:12 Staying Connected Daily 24:02 Why We Disconnect 26:41 When You Change, Relationships Change 30:31 Body Awareness & Intimacy 35:35 Mindfulness & Embodiment 40:46 Simple Reconnection Practices 42:10 Knowing Your Body 44:15 Trust & Vulnerability 47:27 Presence Over Performance 50:12 Why Pleasure Feels Difficult 53:00 Rebuilding Confidence After Divorce 56:28 Rediscovering Yourself 59:00 Tabitha's Work 01:03:34 Final Thoughts and Closing KEYWORDS reclaiming intimacy, self-abandonment, over-functioning women, disconnection, living checked out, self-connection, intimacy after divorce, women's pleasure, nervous system healing, somatic healing, divorce recovery, self-pleasure, embodiment, women's mental health #ReclaimingIntimacy #SelfAbandonment #OverFunctioningWomen #DivorceRecovery #PullingThreadsPodcast

    1h 4m

  2. 1d ago

    Dating After Divorce: Boyfriend vs Husband

    Dating after divorce as a man can feel like you’ve become a whole different person — steadier, easier to be with. Here’s the honest why. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ WORK WITH LESLIE 1:1 → Book a private, no-pressure discovery call: [1:1 COACHING DISCOVERY CALL — confirm booking URL] The Loom Life (coaching): https://theloomlife.com Therapy (FL clients): https://loomlifetherapy.com Leslie Ellen Mathews: https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram @the.loom.life · TikTok @leslieellenmathews ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ In this For the Boys episode, Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach — unpacks why the same man can be “the disappointment” in one relationship and a “safe harbor” in the next. It isn’t your character that changed; it’s the container. We get honest about the real differences between being a boyfriend, a husband, and a husband with kids in the mix — plus the question most men skip right past: do you actually want to be a stepfather? Drawing on research from the Gottman Institute, Esther Perel, and leading stepfamily experts, this is a grounded, shame-free look at choosing your next relationship with your eyes wide open. WHAT WE GET INTO: • Why a new relationship feels “lighter” — what’s real vs. honeymoon • The pursue–withdraw pattern and how good people get stuck in it • Dating a woman with kids, by the age of her children • Why blended families take years (not months) — and why that’s normal • Permission to choose the role you actually want CHAPTERS (timestamps are estimates — verify against final edit) 00:00 Intro — boyfriend, husband, stepdad: what this episode is 02:00 The paradox: the disappointment in one story, the safe harbor in another 04:00 What actually changed — the container, not your character 08:00 The pursue–withdraw pattern (Gottman Institute) 11:00 Boyfriend vs. husband: the weight the words carry (Esther Perel) 12:00 Remarriage as an “incomplete institution” (Andrew Cherlin) 14:00 Is it real, or the honeymoon phase? What the research says 17:00 Dating a woman with kids — by the age of her children 20:00 The blended-family fantasy vs. reality (Papernow & Bray) 22:00 Do you actually want to be a stepfather? Removing the shame 28:00 Other shapes a committed relationship can take 31:00 Choosing your next container with your eyes wide open 34:00 Honesty, and the one early conversation — plus how to work with Leslie MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: • Gottman Institute — the pursue–withdraw pattern • Esther Perel — desire and the need for space • Andrew Cherlin — remarriage as an “incomplete institution” • Dr. Patricia Papernow & James Bray — stepfamily research RELATED EPISODE: • Keeping the “honeymoon” feeling alive long-term: [COMPANION EPISODE — confirm URL] A NOTE OF SUPPORT: Divorce and rebuilding can be heavy. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to carry it alone — in the U.S. you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), any time, day or night. KEYWORDS: dating after divorce for men, life coach for men after divorce, boyfriend vs husband, should I be a stepdad, blended family advice, men’s personal growth after divorce, relationship coaching for men, healing after divorce, stepfamily research, how men heal after breakup #ForTheBoys #DatingAfterDivorce #MensMentalHealth #BlendedFamily #RelationshipCoaching

    36 min

  3. 4d ago

    Why the Honeymoon Phase Fades — And How to Keep It

    KEEP THE SPARK: STAYING SECURE AND DESIROUS The honeymoon phase fades for almost everyone — but the spark doesn’t have to. In this solo episode, Leslie Mathews unpacks what early passion is really made of and how to stay both secure AND desirous for the long haul. ➤ Work with Leslie 1:1 (individuals & couples): [INSERT DIRECT BOOKING LINK] ➤ The Loom Life: https://theloomlife.com ➤ Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com | Personal: https://leslieellenmathews.com ➤ Instagram @the.loom.life · TikTok @leslieellenmathews ────────── IN THIS EPISODE We usually treat the honeymoon phase like a single fuel that burns out. Leslie makes the case that early intensity is actually two strands braided together — real love, and a quieter, more anxious wish to secure someone who doesn’t yet feel like yours. Understanding that difference changes what it means when the fireworks quiet down. Drawing on her own three-year relationship, the neuroscience of new love (dopamine, norepinephrine, the serotonin dip), gender differences in bonding, and the work of Esther Perel and the Gottmans, Leslie explains why calm is not the end of desire — and is often the sign that something is finally right. She also takes an honest, careful look at how the honeymoon phase shows up in coercive and abusive relationships: love bombing, intermittent reinforcement, and trauma bonds — and how to tell a bond that’s maturing from a cycle that’s repeating. Then the question she cares about most: can you keep the good of the honeymoon phase alive on purpose? Her answer is yes — through your own regulation and healing work, protecting the space that keeps each person whole, and “chosen reaching” instead of fear-driven reaching. ⏱ CHAPTERS (timestamps approximate — confirm against final edit) 00:00 The feeling that never left 02:00 What the honeymoon phase is really made of 07:30 Two strands: real love + the wish to secure 08:00 Why men and women fall on different timelines 16:30 The brain on new love — and why it fades 18:00 From the chemistry of pursuit to the chemistry of attachment 21:00 When the spark quiets: love leaving, or fear? 22:30 “The threat felt like desire” — Esther Perel 23:30 The honeymoon phase in coercive & abusive relationships 27:00 Trauma bonds & intermittent reinforcement 30:00 Love wants closeness, desire wants distance 32:00 Why security and mystery need each other 34:30 Keeping the spark alive on purpose: the three pieces 37:00 Chosen reaching & the unglamorous work of staying 39:00 You don’t have to trade the spark for safety SUPPORT This episode discusses coercive relationships and trauma bonds. If you’re experiencing abuse, you’re not alone — the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. Additional trauma-bond resources are on theloomlife.com. Keywords: honeymoon phase, keeping the spark alive, secure attachment, anxious attachment, attachment styles and relationships, chemistry vs compatibility, keeping desire in a long-term relationship, Esther Perel desire, love bombing, trauma bonds, relationship coaching, mental health podcast for women #RelationshipPodcast #KeepTheSpark #SecureAttachment #HoneymoonPhase #TheLoomLife

    41 min

  4. Jun 30

    The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce: Staying Steady When It Falls Apart

    Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage — it shakes your nervous system, your finances, and your sense of self. In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist Kimberly McNary, LMFT, and host Leslie Mathews talk through how to move through divorce with clarity and steadiness instead of being run by panic. Kimberly is the founder of The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce and uses EMDR and Emotionally Focused Therapy to help women navigate the emotional landscape of divorce. Together they unpack the surprises no one prepares you for, the early emotional decisions that cost women later, why you absolutely can do EMDR while you’re in the thick of it, and what it really means to stay “classy” (hint: it’s more sassy than polite). ——— READY TO GET THROUGH YOUR DIVORCE — WHOLE? THROUGH is Leslie’s structured divorce coaching program for women who want to come out the other side regulated, clear, and steady. Learn more & enroll: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram CONNECT WITH LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE → Coaching & podcast: https://theloomlife.com → Therapy (Florida clients): https://loomlifetherapy.com → Leslie’s personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com → Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome & meet Kimberly McNary 02:20 From couples therapy to becoming a divorce therapist 05:20 Can relationships heal after betrayal? 08:10 Kimberly's own divorce and what it taught her 10:55 The shame of being a marriage therapist going through divorce 13:20 The moments only someone who's lived divorce understands 15:50 Financial fears, keeping the house & thinking beyond survival 20:00 Why divorce support should be about more than legal advice 20:45 Leslie's first experience with dating after divorce 24:00 Timing, healing & reconnecting when you're both ready 26:00 How to know you're truly ready to date again 28:00 Dating from fear vs. dating from self-worth 30:00 Dating apps, honesty & protecting your children 33:00 Divorce with adult children and the "wait until they're grown" myth 36:00 Why healing after divorce can't be rushed 39:30 The hidden grief of divorce and rebuilding your identity 43:30 Trauma, EMDR & helping your nervous system heal 48:30 Childhood wounds that shape adult relationships 56:00 Learning to trust yourself again 1:04:00 Boundaries, co-parenting & protecting your peace 1:14:00 Building a life that finally feels like your own 1:18:00 Final thoughts & where to connect with Kimberly Empower women through divorce and breakup transitions, drawing on EFT, EMDR, and her own lived experience. She practices in San Diego, CA. → Website: https://kimberlymcnary.com ABOUT KIMBERLY McNARY, LMFT Kimberly McNary is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 17+ years of experience supporting relationships and personal growth. She founded The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce. → Instagram: @classygirlsguidetodivorce & @mcnarytherapy → Facebook: McNary Therapy & The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce → LinkedIn: search “Kimberly McNary” A NOTE OF SUPPORT This conversation touches on emotional abuse, trauma, and nervous-system overwhelm. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to navigate it alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788). Support is available 24/7. #PullingThreads #DivorceRecovery #EMDRTherapy #DivorceSupportForWomen #ClassyGirlsGuideToDivorce

    1h 40m

  5. Jun 23

    Starting Over at 50: Leaving a Life That Looked Good on Paper

    What does it actually look like to leave a life that looks good on paper — a 20-year marriage, a competitive athletic identity, a familiar world — and rebuild from scratch in your 50s? In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with Jen Rulon — midlife transformation coach, TEDx speaker, 15-time Ironman finisher, and Kona qualifier — who walked away from her marriage, her career identity, and her relationship with alcohol, then moved alone to Costa Rica at 50. Jen and Leslie unpack what they both call "the slow unraveling" — the years of incremental leaving that happen long before anyone physically goes. They talk about how the body keeps score of a life that no longer fits, why high-achieving women keep performing instead of living, and what it actually takes to stop chasing finish lines and start trusting yourself. --TIMESTAMP-- 00:00 – Introduction to Jen Rulon 02:08 – Leaving a life that looked perfect 07:46 – The year everything changed 10:19 – Letting go of a 30-year identity 12:05 – The Costa Rica trip that changed everything 13:00 – Her last drink and a new perspective 16:35 – Marriage counseling and uncertainty 18:18 – Rebuilding purpose and helping women 21:04 – Awakening, questioning, and change 24:00 – Trusting instead of forcing 29:11 – Choosing herself for the first time 30:02 – Realizing she was running from her marriage 33:25 – Separation and moving toward divorce 35:35 – Saying, “I want a divorce” 36:26 – Moving to Costa Rica 39:49 – The power of saying it out loud 41:08 – Performing a life vs. living one 43:00 – Why women avoid the inner work 46:25 – Childhood wounds and relationships 47:47 – What she truly wanted beneath success 50:07 – How inner work changes relationships 54:24 – Trauma bonds, loneliness, and fear 56:02 – Trusting yourself after divorce 58:05 – Jen’s Four Pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset & Meaning 59:53 – Stress, cortisol, and relationships 1:00:29 – Meditation and nervous system regulation 1:03:58 – When relationships hold you back 1:05:57 – “I finally know who I am” 1:06:58 – Finding support and community 1:10:47 – Working with Jen 1:13:18 – Rise With The Tides Retreat 1:15:30 – Life after divorce 1:16:40 – There is life after the change you're afraid to make ▶ WORK WITH LESLIE THROUGH — 8-week divorce recovery coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 1:1 coaching, podcast, and resources: https://theloomlife.com ▶ CONNECT WITH JEN RULON Website: https://jenrulon.com Free Rise Strong Blueprint: https://jenrulon.myflodesk.com/blueprint Instagram: @coachjenrulon TikTok: @coachjenrulon LinkedIn: Jen Rulon Memoir releasing 11/11/2026 ▶ IN THIS EPISODE • Why "the leaving" happens long before you physically go • Stacy Sims, perimenopause, and the moment Jen decided her last Ironman • Getting sober in December 2019 — and what came into focus once the mask came off • Asking for a trial separation, then asking for a divorce • Moving to Costa Rica alone at 50 — and what her family thought • Masculine and feminine energy, and why so many high-achieving women perform a life instead of living one • Jen's four pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset, Meaning • Trauma bonds, the fear of loneliness, and why the fear is usually worse than the reality • Why finding people who match your energy is non-negotiable ▶ THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF You're a woman in midlife who's done everything right and still finds yourself wondering, "Is this it?" You're navigating a divorce, sobriety, an empty nest, a career pivot — or you can feel the slow creep that you've been living someone else's life. ▶ SUBSCRIBE Hit subscribe so you never miss a Tuesday episode. If this conversation resonated, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it genuinely helps other women find this work. ▶ FOLLOW THE LOOM LIFE Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews Web: https://theloomlife.com #midlifetransformation #divorcerecovery #startingover #sobriety #theloomlife

    1h 18m

  6. Jun 16

    The Ambition Penalty: Why Women Get Punished for Asking

    What if your burnout isn't a personal failure — but a systemic one? Award-winning journalist Stefanie O'Connell joins Leslie to unpack The Ambition Penalty. 📕 Get Stefanie's book: https://tooambitious.com/book/ 💧 Ready to move through your divorce with structure and support? Explore THROUGH, Leslie's 8-week coaching program → https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ────────────── In this conversation, Stefanie pulls back the curtain on what the research actually shows about why women — across industries, identities, and life stages — are still systematically held back at work and at home. Her book draws on more than 450 academic citations to dismantle the most persistent myth in modern gender inequality: that women just need to lean in harder, negotiate better, or believe in themselves more. Leslie and Stefanie talk about the data on backlash against women who ask for raises, the 30+ identity characteristics that get weaponized against women in hiring decisions, why the home — not the office — is where most women's burnout actually originates, and the 400-hour-per-year personal leisure gap between U.S. men and women. They also unpack the quiet shift from collective empowerment to individualistic self-help, why the pay gap hasn't budged in 20 years, and what a meaningful collective response actually looks like. This is essential listening for any woman who is over being overworked — but not over her ambition. ─── Timestamps ─── 00:00 Introduction to Stefanie O'Connell 01:15 From theater to financial journalism 04:14 The myth that women lack ambition 06:30 Why the research has been hiding in plain sight 07:01 When negotiating backfires for women 09:24 The hidden biases keeping women out of leadership 12:20 Why ambition is viewed differently in men and women 15:05 The importance of examining our own biases 15:53 What surprised Stefanie most in the data 16:30 The unpaid labor gap and women's burnout 18:45 Leslie shares her personal career and marriage story 22:08 How family dynamics shape workplace culture 24:39 The invisible workload of stay-at-home mothers 26:00 Choosing a partner who supports your ambitions 27:00 Why community support matters more than ever 28:27 The danger of turning systemic problems into personal failures 30:45 Why collective solutions create lasting change 34:40 Entrepreneurship, coaching, and gender bias 36:50 Why women are often judged differently when charging for their expertise 38:00 Building resilience through community and collective action 39:30 Modeling healthy relationships and ambition for our children 41:40 The loneliness epidemic and rebuilding connection 44:00 Why data matters in conversations about women’s experiences 45:30 The gaslighting women experience around work and ambition 46:50 What meaningful collective action actually looks like 48:00 Why progress on the pay gap has stalled 50:20 The growing hostility toward women in the workplace 52:35 A message for ambitious women who feel exhausted 53:35 Building community instead of carrying shame 54:05 Where to find Stefanie and her book 55:00 Final reflections and closing thoughts ────────────── 🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads with Leslie Mathews is a podcast about untangling the patterns, stories, and systems that keep us stuck — and weaving something more authentic in their place. New episodes weekly. 🌐 Connect with Leslie: • Website: https://theloomlife.com • Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com • Personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews 📕 Connect with Stefanie O'Connell: • Book — The Ambition Penalty: https://tooambitious.com/book/ • Substack (Too Ambitious): https://tooambitious.substack.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/ • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stefaniemoconnell ────────────── If this episode resonated, please leave a 5-star rating and share it with one woman in your life who needs to hear it. #TheAmbitionPenalty #WomenAndWork #PullingThreadsPodcast #BurnoutRecovery #StefanieOConnell

    55 min

  7. Jun 13

    Touch Hunger: The Loneliness No One Warns Divorced Men About

    Touch hunger is the loneliness no one warns divorced men about — when the isolation stops being emotional and becomes physical. (For the Boys, Round 10.) 🧭 Work with Leslie 1:1. Book a free discovery call → [INSERT DIRECT BOOKING LINK] Coaching: theloomlife.com Leslie: leslieellenmathews.com Therapy (FL): loomlifetherapy.com ↓ SHOW MORE CUTOFF — keep everything above this line above the fold ↓ In this episode, Leslie names something the men’s content space and even the therapy world tend to skip: touch hunger (or skin hunger) — the measurable, physical toll of going from a partner’s daily touch to none, sometimes overnight. She walks through what a touch-starved nervous system actually reaches for after divorce (rebound relationships, dating apps at midnight, alcohol, and the modern consolations), what the history and clinical research say about paid companionship and platonic touch therapy, and why most of it treats the symptom rather than the cause. Then she dreams out loud: what a real, trauma-informed concierge support structure for men in the first 12–18 months after a marriage ends could look like — and asks you to weigh in. This is a longer, no-compromises conversation, and your comments are the point. 💬 A note on support If the loneliness has gotten heavy, you’re not weak and you’re not alone — reaching out is the strong move. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 anytime to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re ready for steady, structured support through the season, the discovery call link above is a good first step. ⏱️ CHAPTERS (timestamps estimated — see verification note) 0:00 What this episode is (and why it goes there) 2:00 Touch hunger / skin hunger: what your nervous system is doing 4:00 Why the touch disappeared overnight 5:00 What men reach for first: rebound, apps, alcohol, the ex 6:00 OnlyFans and parasocial intimacy: renting a partner 9:00 Sugar-baby / arrangement apps and the hidden cost 11:00 A short history of paid companionship 14:00 How other countries handle this — and what the research says 16:00 Professional cuddling / platonic touch therapy 19:00 Medicine or anesthesia? The judgment is in the use 20:00 A dream: a concierge support structure for men 23:00 Why virtual-only and clean boundaries are a feature 26:00 A men’s track vs. a women’s track — and a question for you 🔗 Connect Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ▶️ Related from For the Boys Round 7 — the disclosure relationship (referenced in this episode): [INSERT EP 7 URL] Keywords: touch hunger, skin hunger, loneliness after divorce, men’s mental health, life coach for men after divorce, coping with divorce loneliness, how men heal after breakup, men’s personal growth after divorce #ForTheBoys #DivorceRecovery #MensMentalHealth #LonelinessAfterDivorce #PullingThreads

    29 min

  8. Jun 9

    Reclaiming Your Voice After Religious Trauma | Kate Johnson

    What happens when the systems that raised you also silenced you? In this episode, memoirist and survivor advocate Kate Johnson joins Leslie to talk about religious trauma, purity culture, and the long road of finding your voice after a lifetime of being told to stay quiet. Kate grew up a pastor's daughter inside the PCA evangelical church, where Calvinist teachings around "total depravity" merged with authoritarian parenting to create a childhood organized around shame, obedience, and performance. When her family was placed on the sex offender registry, she learned a second, deeper lesson: her safety lay in her silence. This conversation traces what it took to undo that — through writing, embodiment, estrangement, anger, and the slow reclaiming of identity. Whether you're deconstructing your faith, healing from purity culture, navigating estrangement, or just trying to reconnect with your own voice after years of self-silencing — this one is for you. ─── WORK WITH LESLIE ─── THROUGH — 8-week divorce recovery program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 1:1 Coaching & Therapy: https://theloomlife.com Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com ─── CONNECT WITH KATE ─── Substack (Quips & Confessionals): https://katejohnsonwrites.substack.com Instagram: @katejohnsonwrites TikTok: @katejohnsonwrites Threads: @katejohnsonwrites Bluesky: @katejohnsonwrites ─── CHAPTERS ─── 00:00 Welcome & introducing Kate 02:30 Trapeze as healing & reclaiming the inner child 06:30 Growing up a pastor's daughter (PCA & Calvinism) 11:00 "You are bad" — how religious shame forms core beliefs 13:30 Parenting across generations: authoritarian to conscious 18:30 Why kids in divorce need their own therapist 23:30 Voice as savior: from buried to spoken 25:30 The sex offender registry: when silence becomes safety 30:00 What most people don't understand about the registry 35:30 Why women stay: shame, survival & "Conjuring the Hurricane" 42:00 Family courts, custody & protecting children 46:30 Purity culture, bisexuality & leaving evangelicalism 51:30 Estrangement, boundaries & what repentance really means 55:30 Embodiment, grounding & coming home to the body 59:30 Reiki, The Artist's Way & reconnecting to creativity 1:03:00 Anger as a signal & reclaiming identity 1:08:00 Quips & Confessionals: humor as reclamation 1:12:00 Final message: trust your body, use your voice ─── FOLLOW THE LOOM LIFE ─── Website: https://theloomlife.com Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com Leslie's site: https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ─── DISCLAIMER ─── This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or professional mental health treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact a licensed provider or call/text 988 in the U.S. Keywords: religious trauma podcast, purity culture recovery, evangelical deconstruction, healing religious trauma, pastor's daughter, finding your voice, embodiment after trauma, complex PTSD, mental health podcast for women, trauma healing stories podcast #ReligiousTrauma #HealingAfterTrauma #IdentityWork #SelfTrust #PullingThreads

    1h 12m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Pulling Threads is a podcast for women navigating life, career, past and current trauma, breakups and divorce, motherhood, reinvention, and the brave work of becoming who they’re meant to be. Hosted by therapist, coach, and founder of The LooM Life, Leslie Mathews, JD, MSW, this show blends trauma-informed guidance, nervous system education, and meaningful conversations about the patterns that shape our relationships, identity, and purpose. Each episode explores the complicated places where life asks us to grow — healing from emotional abuse, rebuilding after divorce, midlife identity shifts, attachment wounds, dating again, motherhood, and rediscovering your voice. Many guests share their own stories of reinvention, entrepreneurship, career pivots, and stepping into authenticity, offering inspiration and practical wisdom for women building new chapters. Through expert interviews, personal storytelling, and mindfulness-based tools, Pulling Threads supports women who are healing, expanding, and creating aligned lives and businesses. It’s a space for those navigating toxic dynamics, strengthening emotional regulation, or following the pull toward something more authentic and more fulfilling. If you’re ready to untangle old patterns, trust your intuition, and weave a life — and identity — that feels grounded, empowered, and true, this podcast is where your next chapter begins.

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