Rock Bottom With Ryan

rockbottomwithryan
  • 4.3 (8)
  • Mental Health

After 18 years of drinking, countless blackouts, arrests, and hospital stays, I finally hit my bottom—and started to climb. This podcast is about what it really looks like to get sober. No sugarcoating. No step-by-step manual. Just honest conversations about addiction, recovery, relapse, and everything in between. If you’ve struggled, if someone you love is struggling, or if you just want to understand the chaos behind the bottle—this is for you. Let’s talk about what happens after rock bottom.

  1. 2d ago

    Bjorn: Crash Landing, Strong Finish

    Bjorn’s Rock Bottom: Meth, Vodka, Needles, and the Road to Sobriety (Oct 30, 2013) | Rock Bottom with RyanBjorn joins Rock Bottom with Ryan to share his addiction and recovery story, including early drinking and drug use, frequent shoplifting arrests, and escalating use of weed, mushrooms, acid, coke, and eventually meth during culinary school and restaurant work. He describes treatment, relapse, the culture of heavy substance use in kitchens and Vegas nightclubs, opioid access through “pill mills,” severe daily vodka dependence, and a terrifying episode after injecting cocaine, plus multiple DUIs and dangerous blackouts. After a birthday binge in 2013, he called his sponsor, returned to AA, and marks October 30, 2013 as his sobriety date. He later rebuilt his life, left kitchen work to be a present father, and now runs Hold My NA Beer, sharing recovery content and offering sponsorship and coaching focused on patterns, triggers, and accountability.00:00 Petty Theft Rush00:49 Fatherhood After Recovery01:11 Show Intro and Sponsor02:27 Meet Bjorn and Basics04:35 Childhood Moves and Divorce06:23 Skateboarding as Escape08:08 Early Weed and Parties09:00 Shoplifting Spree Era10:31 Booze Hooks In11:46 Back to Minnesota and Treatment12:27 Acid House and Dealing13:23 Culinary School and First Meth14:42 Stimulants and ADHD History16:27 Kitchen Chaos and Meth Cycle17:36 Ultimatum and Rehab Entry19:42 New Orleans Externship Relapse20:55 Halfway House and Restaurant Partying24:20 Vegas Move and Pill Mills28:11 Handle a Day Drinking28:42 Needles and Near Overdose31:34 DUI Story and Consequences34:11 Army Plan Falls Apart35:20 Blacked Out Driving38:03 Court Ordered AA39:53 Relapse Into Secrets42:38 Birthday Breaking Point45:05 Rebuilding In Sobriety47:47 Divorce And Dark Night48:47 Reinventing Identity50:07 Meeting Future Wife51:44 Fatherhood Career Shift55:17 Hold My NA Beer Mission56:44 Coaching Vs Sponsorship01:03:14 Advice And Closing Quotes

  2. 4d ago

    Heather - Healing the Woman Behind the Hustle

    Heather’s Journey: Alcohol, Food Addiction, and Building a Balanced Life in Recovery | Rock Bottom with RyanIn this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Heather shares her sobriety date (April 30, 2014) and discusses alcohol and food as her addictions. She describes a turbulent childhood with teen parents, frequent moves, feeling “less than,” depression, suicidal thoughts, and early compulsive overeating after losing a close friend. Heather explains how drinking began socially in college, escalated with career stability and money, and was reinforced by enabling and lack of consequences, including dangerous behavior. After quitting alcohol for four years as a “dry drunk,” she resumed drinking and later spiraled in Florida after an injury ended martial arts training, contributing to the collapse of their business. She found AA through women at church, embraced long-term recovery support, and later addressed food compulsions, emotional regulation, and balance through therapy, coaching, and wellness work, now helping high-achieving women pursue whole-person wellness.00:00 Drinking Escalates Fast00:34 Rewiring After Success01:02 Podcast Intro Sponsor02:17 Meet Heather Basics03:57 Chaotic Childhood Moves05:11 Facade And Survival Mode08:07 Food As First Escape12:19 College Independence First Drink14:45 Career Money Enabling16:32 Dry Drunk And Relapse21:44 Florida Injury Final Spiral24:08 Therapy Church AA Path27:07 Last Drink Surrender28:33 Early Recovery Rewiring29:13 Wisdom and Tough Love29:57 Humble Recovery Work30:54 Trading Wine for Sugar31:25 Rebuilding Fitness Safely31:53 Food as Escape33:53 Therapy and Guardrails34:23 Breaking Competition Cycles37:36 Sober Minded Wellness38:24 Anger as Dopamine40:08 Boundaries and Insurance41:49 Addiction Defense Attorney43:16 Next Gen Sober Curious45:07 Coaching High Achievers48:54 Public Figure in Recovery49:50 Emotional Regulation Lessons51:06 Advice for Hidden Struggles51:59 Stigma and Rock Bottom54:43 Replay the Tape55:14 What Sobriety Gives You57:36 Where to Find Heather58:09 Final Hope and Farewell

  3. 6d ago

    Childhood Trauma and Relationships - The Real Talk Sessions with Ryan and Amber - Take 1

    Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles in Recovery | Rock Bottom with Ryan (ft. Amber)Ryan and Amber discuss how witnessing unhealthy, abusive relationships in childhood led them to normalize toxicity, stay too long in harmful dynamics, and repeat patterns in adult romantic and non-romantic relationships, especially during active addiction. They explore how sobriety and recovery work—therapy, sponsorship, inner-child and codependency work—helped them recognize red flags earlier, stop confusing chaos with passion, and take accountability for their own harmful behaviors, including people-pleasing, avoidance, passive-aggression, and using substances to numb relationship pain. Amber describes sabotaging calm relationships, feeling triggered by yelling, and realizing how short relationships surfaced deeper grief and abandonment wounds. They emphasize communication, asking hard questions early, setting boundaries, tolerating discomfort, maintaining a sense of self, and building connection and community as key to healing and healthier relationships.00:00 Toxic Patterns Learned01:15 Show Intro Sponsor02:20 Episode Setup Relationships04:21 Using Buddies vs Friends06:20 Insecurity and Validation07:05 Childhood Chaos Imprints09:26 Emotional Abuse Blindspots11:16 Triggered Fight Response13:32 Addicted to Chaos17:23 Spotting Red Flags Early18:48 Dating and Drinking Patterns20:32 Numbing Breakups with Drugs22:46 Trying to Save Partners25:50 Trauma Bonding Explained28:04 Overthinking and Boundaries30:14 Yelling Shutdown and Listening32:17 Owning Past Reactions33:01 Hard Talks In Dating35:15 Ghosting And Anxiety Spirals38:03 Staying Present Uncomfortable38:46 Marriage Lessons And Childhood41:51 Finding Sense Of Self44:55 Aha Moments And Trauma Roots50:20 Dating Boundaries In Sobriety53:09 Connection Over Addiction54:28 Peace Through Communication59:25 Closing Takeaways And Outro

  4. Jul 24

    Sarah and Danny - From Beyond Retreats (featured on Netflix's Enigma)

    Plant Medicine, Recovery & Transformation | Behold Retreats (Costa Rica, Mexico, Portugal) | Rock Bottom with RyanRyan welcomes Sarah and Danny from Behold Retreats to discuss psychedelic-assisted healing and transformation through traditional ceremonies with ayahuasca, psilocybin, and bufo. Danny shares his path from depression after divorce to 16 years in plant medicine work, while Sarah describes moving from the U.S. and leaving a finance career, reflecting on alcohol use, integrity, and self-discovery. They explain Behold’s evolution from an intense four-day jungle retreat to “The Guide Inside” model emphasizing comfort, safety, and deep work supported by a care team and medicine team. They outline misconceptions about psychedelics as “drugs,” screening and invite-only participation, preparation (“dieta”), a seven-week program with integration, and why some conditions (e.g., schizophrenia) may be contraindicated. They describe common motivations from rock bottom to high achievers seeking meaning, the importance of integration and delaying major decisions, frequent work with addiction by addressing root causes, and Behold’s growth across Costa Rica, Mexico, and Portugal. They were also featured on Netflix's Enigma Documentary.00:00 Comfort Enables Deep Healing01:06 Sponsor Message Break02:11 Meet Sarah and Danny02:52 Danny’s Plant Medicine Origin06:21 Sarah’s Path and Integrity11:39 Building Behold Retreats14:36 Safety First Ceremony Design16:22 Drugs vs Medicine Misconceptions19:46 Who Benefits and Why23:56 Screening and Readiness26:24 Breakthroughs and Integration31:32 From First Call to Invite32:32 Retreat Prep and Dieta33:14 Ceremony Flow and Integration34:40 Community and Lasting Change35:26 Building a Controversial Organization38:03 Purpose Over Profit41:11 Addiction Healing and Relapse45:28 Spirituality Defined47:33 Ego Death Explained50:40 Rock Bottom and Prevention53:44 Advice and How to Reach Them57:44 Final Messages and Wrap Up

  5. Jul 22

    Damaris - A Transformative Tale

    From Childhood Trauma to Heroin Rock Bottom: Damaris’ Recovery Story | Rock Bottom with RyanOn Rock Bottom with Ryan, Damaris shares her sobriety date (3/13/19) and a journey marked by childhood abuse, feeling different and unheard in a Hispanic household, and early substance use that escalated from alcohol and marijuana to meth and many other drugs, with heroin ultimately bringing her to her knees. She describes meth’s calming effect due to ADHD, severe heroin dependence, seven overdoses, hiding her addiction, and a 2017 DUI, followed by failed attempts to detox alone. After a humiliating comment from a fire chief and a pivotal moment of surrender, she entered treatment, embraced AA, boundaries, therapy, and faith, and found peace in sobriety. Now married, living in Arizona, and recovering out loud, she urges honesty, willingness, and seeking help.00:00 Protecting Mom Secretly01:01 Show Intro Sponsor02:15 Meet Damaris Basics03:33 Violent Childhood Abuse04:52 Silence And Fear06:31 Anger Boils Over07:19 Feeling Different Growing Up09:17 No Mental Health Talk11:14 First Drinks And Lies12:13 Weed And Belonging13:24 First Meth And Psychosis16:44 Meth ADHD Calm18:43 Heroin Enters 201720:11 Heroin Hook And High22:54 Withdrawal And Hustling25:19 Hiding Addiction Publicly26:50 DUI Wake Up Call29:13 DUI Wake Up Call29:52 Facing the Real Consequences31:08 Rejecting AA and Spiraling32:21 Signs and Near Death Moments34:31 Mirror Moment and Calling Help37:58 Treatment and Surrendering Control39:35 AA Steps and God’s Humor41:35 Recovery Out Loud43:53 Faith and Early Spiritual Roots47:26 Boundaries and Peaceful New Life50:51 More Battles and Purpose52:44 Advice for Getting Honest56:10 Final Thanks and Sign Off

  6. Jul 20

    Alice in Wonderland

    From Party Girl to Recovery: Alice on Cocaine, Alcohol, Trauma & Finding Hope | Rock Bottom with RyanIn this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, Alice from Cheltenham, UK shares her recovery story, including childhood trauma, early rebellion and trouble with authority, and how alcohol and cocaine became her drugs of choice. She describes first drinking at 13, seeking out drugs, and a chaotic progression into heavy partying, stripping from age 18, and escalating use during COVID, including spending hundreds of pounds a week, morning drinking/using, paranoia, and repeated benders. Alice discusses a failed attempt at sobriety, dangerous withdrawal symptoms, a one-night relapse at 99 days, and ultimately committing to 12-step recovery with support from sober connections. She explains why she began sharing on social media after a year sober, navigating sober events like weddings, and how exercise, routines, and upcoming psychotherapy help her manage anxiety and trauma in recovery.00:00 Early Sobriety Wake Up00:53 Starting Recovery Content01:13 Podcast Intro Sponsor02:33 Meet Alice Her Story04:12 Childhood Trauma Roots06:24 School Fear Rebellion09:01 Trouble With Police12:12 First Drink Red Flags14:11 Teen Drinking Escalates18:54 Stripping Scene Addiction22:28 Lockdown Court Case Spiral23:41 Relationships Secrecy Costs25:52 Habit Spending Breakdown26:54 Dry January Breakdown30:23 Finding Recovery Support33:39 Relapse and Commitment35:55 Sober Weddings Reality41:02 Therapy and Career Shifts44:31 Managing Anxiety Sober46:16 Worst Day vs Best Day50:18 Advice and Farewell

  7. Jul 17

    173: Lee - Demise Before the Rise

    Told He Had 6 Months to Live: Lee Crompton on Surviving Anaplastic Thyroid Cancer & Mental Health | Rock BottomIn this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, guest Lee Crompton shares how a lump in his neck during the 2020 COVID lockdown led from inconclusive tests to surgery and a shocking diagnosis of rare anaplastic thyroid cancer, with an initial prognosis where “six months would be a positive outcome.” Lee describes the fear, isolation, and practical “admin” of preparing for death while raising a three-year-old and an eight-month-old, undergoing a second operation to remove his thyroid, radioactive iodine treatment, and continued scans and bloodwork. Nearly six years later, he reflects on the mental health impact of both expecting to die and then surviving, how it gave him permission to talk openly about anxiety and depression, and how that led to his Mindcake podcast exploring varied mental health approaches.00:00 Neck Lump Scare04:21 Lockdown Life Stress06:13 Tests And Tough Choices09:02 Diagnosis Changes Everything12:01 Second Surgery And Prognosis14:12 Facing Mortality Admin17:00 Mental Health Aftermath21:18 Pain Story And Stigma25:14 Kids Legacy And Memories29:19 Moving On And Milestones30:09 Separate Timelines31:47 Living in Treatment Mode33:33 Hope After Prognosis37:41 Dodging the Bullet38:47 What Really Matters41:52 Brian and the Play43:24 Mindcake Origins47:17 Trying Weird Therapies49:43 This Too Shall Pass54:43 Advice and Small Steps58:18 Where to Find Mindcake

  8. Jul 15

    172: Scott - I Surrender

    From Crack, DWIs & Jail to Recovery Coach: Scott’s Rock Bottom Story | Rock Bottom with RyanIn this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, guest Scott (sober since 1/8/18) shares how he grew up in small-town upstate New York in a strained, chaotic home with an alcoholic father, early behavioral issues, school expulsions, and criminal activity that escalated into decades of heavy drinking and drug use. Scott describes working in kitchens where partying was constant, multiple DWIs that led to felony charges and probation violations, and eight months in jail followed by immediate relapse. After years of cycling through substances, he spiraled into crack use, dealing, and suicidal thoughts before surrendering and flying to South Florida for detox and treatment. Scott explains how 12-step support, service, sober living, therapy, and building honest relationships helped him rebuild his life, improve his relationship with his son, and become a certified recovery support specialist, case manager, and recovery coach helping others seek help and stay sober.00:00 Kitchen Life Begins00:40 Probation Spiral00:56 Addiction Explained01:19 Show Intro Sponsor02:48 Meet Scott04:08 Upstate Childhood05:58 Neglect And Trouble07:17 Teen Party House09:35 Selling And Stealing11:23 School Failure Cooking12:14 Kitchen Party Cycle13:16 DWIs And Felony16:09 Court Drunk Probation17:26 Drug Court Jail Time20:13 Jail Mindset Relapse24:01 Relationships As Escape25:59 Identity In Drugs27:15 Breaking Point Surrender32:54 Florida Rehab Decision34:08 Last Blizzard Binge35:10 Insurance Ultimatum37:05 First Days in Detox39:47 Recovery Lightbulb42:16 Sponsor and Steps43:41 Sober Living Reset45:35 Triggers and Tape47:20 Fatherhood From Afar51:56 Therapy and Connection54:20 Recovery Career Path57:49 Surrender and Hope59:38 Relapse History and Milestones01:00:59 Closing Reflections

See All (179)

Ratings & Reviews

4.3
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

After 18 years of drinking, countless blackouts, arrests, and hospital stays, I finally hit my bottom—and started to climb. This podcast is about what it really looks like to get sober. No sugarcoating. No step-by-step manual. Just honest conversations about addiction, recovery, relapse, and everything in between. If you’ve struggled, if someone you love is struggling, or if you just want to understand the chaos behind the bottle—this is for you. Let’s talk about what happens after rock bottom.

Information

  • Creator
    rockbottomwithryan
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    179
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © rockbottomwithryan
  • Show Website
    Rock Bottom With Ryan

You Might Also Like