The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

Robert Duff, Ph.D.
The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at http://hardcoreselfhelp.com

  1. MAR 14

    Chapter From My NEW BOOK - Bipolar Answers

    Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/ In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder. Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience. Timestamps: [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon! [02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations. [03:00] – Full reading of the book’s introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I. [18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode. [24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder. [37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases. Key Takeaways: Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice. Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown. Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference. The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them. Connect with Dr. Robert Duff: Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.

    39 min
  2. MAR 7

    433: Stuck in Trauma & Embarrassed by Emotional Reactions

    Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking steps toward healing and self-acceptance. What We Cover in This Episode: Understanding why trauma responses persist and how they impact daily life The role of avoidance in PTSD and how to begin addressing it Practical strategies for tackling overwhelming life changes How to communicate with a therapist about deeply buried trauma The importance of seeking trauma-informed therapy and possible medication options Exposure techniques for gradually confronting PTSD triggers Journaling as a tool for processing trauma at your own pace Overcoming embarrassment when experiencing emotional reactions in public Using gratitude as a way to shift focus from shame to connection Coping strategies to regulate emotions and build resilience Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction & request for listener questions 02:00 – Listener question: Living in a house that triggers PTSD 05:00 – Why trauma responses persist and the role of avoidance 10:00 – Communicating openly with a therapist about severe trauma 12:00 – Seeking trauma-informed therapy and medication considerations 16:00 – Making an actionable plan to move forward and sell the house 21:00 – Practical steps to start addressing home repairs and tasks 22:00 – Listener question: Managing PTSD emotional reactions in public 24:00 – Using gratitude to counter feelings of shame and embarrassment 27:00 – Grounding techniques and exposure exercises to build resilience 30:00 – The importance of seeking support from others 32:00 – Closing thoughts & listener engagement request Connect with Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

    33 min
  3. FEB 28

    432: What is High-Functioning Codependency? Terri Cole

    In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace. What We Cover in This Episode: Terri’s journey from talent agent to psychotherapist Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no How to conduct a resentment inventory and why it’s helpful Addressing difficult family dynamics around social and political issues How Terri’s book, Too Much, can help you break free from codependency Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Terri Cole and her background 01:00 – How Terri transitioned from talent agent to psychotherapist 16:00 – Recognizing high-functioning codependency 25:00 – Childhood & societal influences on codependency 30:00 – The importance of self-awareness and therapy 39:00 – Practical tools for overcoming codependency 42:00 – Navigating difficult family dynamics 49:00 – Setting boundaries and learning to say no 52:00 – Conducting a resentment inventory 58:00 – How Too Much can help you break free Resources Mentioned: Too Much by Terri Cole: https://www.terricole.com High-Functioning Codependency Toolkit: https://www.terricole.com/HFC Mastermind program (Flourish): https://www.terricole.com/flourish Terri’s membership community: https://www.terricole.com/TCM The Terri Cole Show Podcast: https://www.terricole.com/podcast Connect with Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

    1h 9m
  4. FEB 21

    431: Pathological Demand Avoidance & Persistent Low-Grade Depression

    Episode 431: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Coaching & Persistent Depression Welcome to another episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Dr. Robert Duff! In this Q&A episode, Dr. Duff tackles two insightful listener questions on very different but equally important mental health topics. Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Coaching A listener working as an individual sports coach seeks advice on how to best support a talented but highly resistant student who displays signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Dr. Duff dives into: What PDA is and how it manifests in individuals, particularly in relation to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions. The importance of reframing PDA as a high drive for autonomy rather than defiance. Practical coaching strategies to work around demand avoidance, including collaborative goal setting, offering choices, and making training sessions more engaging and playful. The significance of open-ended questions and genuine curiosity in understanding the root of a student’s resistance. Question 2: Chronic Low-Grade Depression (Persistent Depressive Disorder) A listener describes their struggle with long-term, low-grade depression despite attempts with medication and therapy. Dr. Duff provides insights into: Understanding Persistent Depressive Disorder (formerly known as dysthymia) and how it differs from episodic major depression. Behavioral activation as a treatment approach, including strategies for identifying and engaging in potentially enjoyable activities despite a lack of motivation or pleasure. The five-minute rule to help overcome resistance to activities. Medication considerations, including alternatives like Wellbutrin (bupropion) and the combination drug Auvelity, which may have fewer side effects. Non-medication treatments such as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and ketamine therapy. The importance of evaluating life circumstances to identify external contributors to chronic depression, such as hidden identity struggles or unsatisfying relationships. Chapters [00:00] Intro and updates on Dr. Duff’s upcoming bipolar book [03:00] Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in coaching [12:00] Strategies for engaging students with PDA [14:00] Question 2: Chronic low-grade depression and treatment options [19:00] Behavioral activation and the five-minute rule [23:00] Medication alternatives and non-pharmacological treatments [27:00] Life circumstances and their role in persistent depression [28:00] Outro and listener support requests Resources & Links Dr. Duff’s website: http://duffthepsych.com Email your questions: duffthepsych@gmail.com Follow Dr. Duff on Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych Dr. Duff’s book “Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression”: https://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Depression/dp/B01J4H5A40 Previous episodes on TMS and ketamine treatments: http://duffthepsych.com/podcast More on ketamine treatments: https://duffthepsych.com/ect-and-ketamine/ Thank you for tuning in! If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with a friend or leaving a review. Your support helps the podcast grow and reach more people who need it. See you next time!

    29 min
  5. FEB 7

    430: The Truth About Recovery with Dr. Mala

    Episode 430: Integrative Approaches to Recovery with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, also known as Dr. Mala, to discuss her integrative approach to addiction recovery, rehabilitation, and mental health treatment. Dr. Mala shares her personal journey that led her into the field, the importance of holistic and individualized treatment, and how she has worked to break down barriers in accessing quality care. What We Cover in This Episode: Dr. Mala’s personal journey into psychology and addiction recovery work The challenges of pushing for integrative mental health care How trauma informed her approach to treatment The importance of cultural competence in mental health and recovery Understanding addiction recovery as a non-linear process The necessity of breaking isolation in the recovery journey The evolving role of virtual therapy and accessibility in mental health care How alternative and holistic approaches such as yoga, meditation, and adventure therapy are valuable in rehabilitation The role of family and loved ones in supporting recovery How to advocate for personalized treatment if current options aren’t working Resources available through Recovery.com for both individuals and families Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Mala and her background 02:00 – How Dr. Mala entered the field of psychology and recovery 06:00 – Why she emphasizes integrative approaches in treatment 10:00 – Challenges in advocating for a holistic recovery model 12:00 – Misconceptions about addiction and recovery 16:00 – The importance of connection and breaking isolation 21:00 – Alternative therapeutic approaches that work 27:00 – The role of family and community in recovery 33:00 – Steps to take if current treatment isn’t effective 38:00 – Recovery.com and available resources 44:00 – Final words of wisdom for those struggling or supporting a loved one Resources: Recovery.com: https://www.recovery.com State of Recovery 2025: https://recovery.com/news/the-2025-state-of-recovery-5-trends-in-behavioral-health-you-need-to-know-about/ Giving Voice to Depression Podcast: https://www.givingvoicetodepression.com Connect with Dr. Mala: Recovery.com Podcast: https://www.recovery.com/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recoverydotcom Connect with Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

    55 min
  6. JAN 31

    429: Coping with the Cruel World & Enduring Heartbreak

    In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I answer two deeply personal and important listener questions. The first comes from a trans man struggling with the impact of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, fear for his safety, and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. We talk about tangible ways to navigate the stress of doomscrolling, finding community, and taking back control in uncertain times. The second question dives into the pain of heartbreak—specifically, the loss of a best friend after unrequited love. I discuss how to process grief, handle regret, and move forward when a relationship changes in ways you didn’t expect. Whether you're facing fear, loss, or uncertainty, this episode offers support, validation, and practical steps to help you through it. Chapters: 00:00 — Intro: You Are Seen, You Are Valid 02:00 — Shoutout to the Finch App: A Fun Self-Care Tool 03:00 — Coping with Fear & Uncertainty as a Trans Person in a Hostile Climate 10:30 — Managing Doomscrolling & Social Media Overwhelm 14:00 — The Importance of Community & Seeking Safe Spaces 18:00 — Mental Health Resources & Seeking Support 19:00 — Handling Unrequited Love & The Pain of Heartbreak 22:30 — Why You’re Not to Blame for How Things Changed 24:00 — Navigating Grief & Loss in Relationships 27:30 — The Power of Solo Time & Rebuilding Your Life 29:00 — Closing Thoughts & Next Episode Preview Resources & Links: • Finch App – A self-care companion that makes mental health a little more fun! Download here • Trans Lifeline – www.translifeline.org | (877) 565-8860 • The Trevor Project – www.thetrevorproject.org | Crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth • Find a Therapist – www.psychologytoday.com About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My goal is to break down mental health topics into real, relatable, and actionable advice. Whether it's tackling anxiety, navigating personal challenges, or discussing the latest in psychology, I’m here to help you thrive. Connect With Me: 🌐 Website: www.duffthepsych.com 📷 Instagram: @duffthepsych 🎥 YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel 💙 If this episode resonates with you, please rate & review the podcast, and share it with someone who might need it. You are not alone. #MentalHealth #LGBTQSupport #Heartbreak #CopingSkills #SelfCare #Doomscrolling #HardcoreSelfHelp

    29 min
  7. JAN 24

    428: Overcoming Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

    In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing. Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs. We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle. If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre 02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path 07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists 15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health 20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred 27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self 34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing 40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care 45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself 50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know 57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Guest Links: Dr. Blaise Aguirre’s Website: www.IHateMyselfBook.com Learn More About DBT: McLean Hospital’s DBT Program I Hate Myself: Dr. Aguirre’s Latest Book (Coming February 2025) Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com Instagram: @duffthepsych YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel Sponsored By: This episode is brought to you by NoCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If intrusive thoughts and compulsions are impacting your daily life, NoCD offers specialized Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore. Hope you find this conversation as inspiring and thought-provoking as I did! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments. Tags: #MentalHealth #SelfHatred #BlaiseAguirre #DBT #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SelfCompassion #TraumaHealing #Parenting #Mindfulness #SelfHelp

    1h 10m
  8. JAN 17

    427: THE Guided Meditation you need for 2025

    In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and intentional breathing exercises, this meditation offers a space to acknowledge your stressors, release tension, and tap into a feeling of calm and clarity. This experience is set in a vivid mindscape of space, where you can imagine yourself aboard a futuristic spacecraft, surrounded by the beauty of the cosmos. Together, we’ll navigate through moments of recognition, release, and rejuvenation. By the end of this session, you’ll feel more centered and grounded, with a renewed connection to how you’d like to move forward. Whether you’re a seasoned meditator or new to mindfulness, this episode is a judgment-free zone to focus on yourself. Bookmark it to return to anytime you need a mental reset. Sponsor This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you’re stuck in cycles of overthinking, compulsive behaviors, or intrusive thoughts, NOCD offers specialized treatment using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—a gold-standard therapy for OCD. They provide virtual sessions with licensed therapists, accept many major insurance plans, and offer support between sessions to make treatment as accessible as possible. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore. For more insights on OCD and ERP, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath in episode 406 of this podcast. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Why This Meditation Matters 03:00 — Sponsor: NOCD – Treatment for OCD Symptoms 04:30 — Setting the Scene: Guided Visualization in Space 08:00 — Acknowledging and Offloading Mental Burdens 13:00 — Breathing for Release: Techniques to Let Go 17:00 — Choosing Your Focus and Setting Your Intention 19:30 — Relaxation Breathing and Body Scan 25:00 — Final Reflections and Letting the Experience Settle About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to make mental health topics relatable and actionable. Whether through guided meditations like this one, Q&A sessions, or expert interviews, I aim to help you navigate life’s challenges with clarity and confidence. Connect With Me: Website: https://duffthepsych.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych Hashtags: #GuidedMeditation #Mindfulness #MentalHealth #Relaxation #StressRelief #SelfHelp

    27 min

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About

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at http://hardcoreselfhelp.com

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