Transforming Us Podcast

Jess Vangsnes
  • 5.0 (24)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Redeeming Relationship Patterns to Find Security and Wholeness Join Jess Vangsnes and Tamara Brown, trauma-informed relationship coaches and longtime friends, as they explore the journey of transforming your life and relationships. In a world where many feel overwhelmed and disconnected in painful relationships, this podcast aims to illuminate the path to breaking free from toxic patterns by using two systems that are highly effective for transformation in relationships: The Enneagram and Attachment Theory. Together, these ladies have a combined 200+ hours of coach training around trauma, Attachment Theory, and the Enneagram in relationships, along with Gottman marriage workshops and parenting support. "Transforming Us" delves into the essentials of cultivating compassion and forging authentic connections while understanding your negative patterns. With resources rooted in understanding your core God-created self through tools like the Enneagram, listeners will discover how to earn secure attachments with others.

  1. Moving From Autopilot to Agency on Your Enneagram Journey

    2D AGO

    Moving From Autopilot to Agency on Your Enneagram Journey

    Most of us are living on autopilot, caught in patterns of protection—believing who we are is tied to the masks we wear. But what if true freedom isn't a distant dream, but a simple choice? In this solo episode with Jess, she peels back the layers of the Enneagram, attachment theory, and parts work—showing you how to wake up, notice your patterns, and step into your real self with power and clarity. This isn’t about complicated systems or labels—it's about turning awareness into action. You'll discover how to pause your reactive tendencies with the STOP method, harness God's unlimited resources for inner strength, and finally move from living in fear to living with intention. She shares the emotional journey of her own discernment, leaning into ministry, daring to become, and embracing the God led invitation to be truly yourself. She breaks down practical tools to recognize your adaptive masks—whether you’re the fixer, the peacemaker, or the perfectionist—and how to use pattern awareness to break free. Dive into the process of shifting from exhaustion to joy, from surviving to thriving, grounded in God's abundant grace. This episode is essential if you’re tired of autopilot and ready to live with purpose, wholeness, and authentic joy. Are you ready to step out of automatic/autopilot and into the fullness of who you're meant to be? Join Jess on this powerful journey of transformation—because your real self is waiting to be awakened, loved, and finally set free. Interested in Shint Eyes Retreat? Check our Airbnb listings: Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)Shipping Container (sleeps 3)Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

    23 min
  2. From Eye-Rolls to Empathy: The Enneagram for Teen Self-Awareness and Compassion

    APR 29

    From Eye-Rolls to Empathy: The Enneagram for Teen Self-Awareness and Compassion

    Being a teenager often feels like operating a complex engine without a manual, leaving both kids and parents overwhelmed by unnamed pressures. In this episode of Transforming Us, Jess and Travis explore how the Enneagram serves as that missing guide, moving beyond mere "types" to the heart of teen self-awareness. We discuss how understanding their unique wiring helps teens trade self-criticism for compassion, allowing them to see their struggles through the lens of a divine design rather than a limiting label. By sharing stories of how even the youngest family members can develop intuition about others' motivations, we show how this framework builds a bridge from conflict to connection. We’ll break down how to use scriptural truths alongside the Enneagram to anchor a teen’s identity in Christ, helping them navigate the social minefields of high school with grace and clarity. This isn’t just about easier parenting; it’s about equipping the next generation to move through the world with kindness and a deep sense of purpose. Whether your teen is an open book or a locked vault, hit play to discover how to turn the "what is wrong with me?" into "how did God design me to grow? Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    57 min
  3. Enneagram 6: One Woman’s Journey of Receiving Courage, Trust and Security with Rissa Messer

    APR 23

    Enneagram 6: One Woman’s Journey of Receiving Courage, Trust and Security with Rissa Messer

    Most people associate the Enneagram Six with fear and anxiety — but what if that very fear is a powerful gateway to profound trust and freedom? Rissa Messer, a loyal guardian with a heart for the vulnerable, opens up about her raw, courageous journey from anxiety, grief, and insecurity, to discovering unshakeable security in God's love. In this episode, Rissa shares how her deep love of people and her relentless need for safety impacts her family and her 6-9 pairing in marriage. She vividly describes her ongoing battle with mental chatter, her slow emotional processing, and the ways her faith has become the anchor that holds her steady through life's storms. You'll hear about her practices—like meditating on certainties and intentionally surrendering control—that are transforming her from a restless pursuer of safety to a rooted lover of the present moment in trust. We break down: how the victory over fear comes through dependence on God, not reassurance from people; the power of embracing the mystery of life with curiosity instead of control; and the vital practices that keep her grounded — even amid loss, trauma, and uncertainty. If you're tired of striving, seeking external validation, or feeling haunted by "what ifs," this episode is your invitation to step into freedom—your true, beautiful, and secure identity in Christ. Whether you're navigating grief, anxiety, or simply longing for peace in chaos, Rissa’s vulnerability and insights will inspire you to rest in the unshakeable love of your Creator.This episode is a call to lean into the mystery, and embracing your true belovedness. It’s perfect for anyone craving peace and freedom from the bondage of fear. To chat with Rissa Email: candcmesser@gmail.com Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    1h 1m
  4. Enneagram 7: Finding Joy and Connection in Your Relationship with Christa Hardin, MA

    APR 8

    Enneagram 7: Finding Joy and Connection in Your Relationship with Christa Hardin, MA

    In this episode, we dive into the vibrant world of the Enneagram 7, exploring how these adventurous spirits find joy and connection in their relationships. We sit down with relationship expert Christa Hardin, MA, who brings over 20 years of experience in clinical psychology and marriage research to the table. Christa shares insights from her "Glow Theory," explaining the fascinating patterns that emerge when couples' numbers come together. We discuss what happens when a pairing moves into "Glow"—operating from a place of health and connection—versus falling into "Shadow" dynamics. Christa also introduces an exciting new quiz designed for couples to explore their Enneagram types and instincts within the context of marriage. This is a fantastic addition to her best-selling book The Enneagram in Marriage. Whether she is writing, teaching, coaching, or vacationing with her family, Christa brings a sense of adventure and joy to everything she does. Integrating decades of work in the therapy room with deep Enneagram knowledge, she offers practical, faith-informed tools to help you understand your personality dynamics and build a lasting, meaningful connection. About Christa Hardin: Christa Hardin, MA, is a relationship expert and author of the best-selling book, The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing, which details all 45 possible Enneagram pairings. A graduate of Wheaton College, she is the host of the Enneagram & Marriage Podcast—with over one million downloads—and will soon be releasing her second book focusing on the "Three Desires." Here are the links to connect with Christa Hardin and explore her resources: Website: EnneagramandMarriage.comApple Podcast: Enneagram & Marriage Podcast (also available on Spotify and other major platforms)Quiz for Couples: QuizForCouples.comInstagram: @enneagramandmarriage Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus Interested in Shint Eyes Retreat? Check our Airbnb listings: Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)Shipping Container (sleeps 3)Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

    56 min
  5. Enneagram 9: Moving Beyond the Numbers to Center with Marilyn Vancil

    MAR 25

    Enneagram 9: Moving Beyond the Numbers to Center with Marilyn Vancil

    In this episode, we explore the intersection of Christian spirituality and the Enneagram with spiritual director Marilyn Vancil. The conversation centers on the transformative journey from the Adapted Self—the version of us shaped by external expectations—to the Authentic Self, our true identity as a reflection of God’s image. Marilyn explains that the Enneagram is not a restrictive label but a powerful tool for inner freedom, helping us move beyond ego-driven patterns and toward a life centered with God. A significant focus is placed on the Enneagram Nine, specifically their struggle with self-identity and the vital role of emotional awareness. Marilyn highlights how acknowledging suppressed anger is a key catalyst for Nines to reclaim their presence. Through practices like centering prayer, listeners are invited to move beyond surface-level traits into a state of drawing toward the center of the enneagram. This process of recognition and formation allows for a more grounded life where our seeds can shed, then sprout and grow. The episode explores how these dynamics revolutionize our relationships. By recognizing the "adapted" versions of ourselves and others, we can navigate conflict with greater compassion and empathy. Marilyn outlines the stages of spiritual growth, illustrating how the Enneagram serves as a map for moving through patterns toward an integrated way of being. Whether seeking deeper self-discovery or a closer connection with Christ, this episode offers a roadmap for finding your true, authentic self. Connect with Marilyn: www.marilynvancil.com Her books: Self to Lose Self to Find & Beyond the Enneagram Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. YouTube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    1 hr
  6. Enneagram 3: Navigating the Harmony Triad and Spiritual Rest with Rev Clare Loughrige

    MAR 4

    Enneagram 3: Navigating the Harmony Triad and Spiritual Rest with Rev Clare Loughrige

    Have you ever felt like your worth is entirely tied to your last big win or how well you’re "performing" for the people around you? In this episode of Transforming Us, Jess sits down with the incredible Reverend Clare Loughrige to tackle that exact tension. For many of us—especially those who identify with the Enneagram Three—identity can easily get tangled up in what we do rather than who we are. Clare introduces us to the Enneagram Harmony Triad, a powerful tool that helps us move out of that trap by balancing our head, heart, and gut intelligence. This is Enneagram Harmony and integration. But how do we actually heal those deep-seated patterns that make us feel like we have to perform? Jess and Clare dive into the world of Attachment Theory and the wisdom of St. Ignatius to find wisdom. By approaching our past with compassion and curiosity, we can begin to see the Enneagram not just as a personality test, but as a sacred map for relational healing and soul-care. What if the most productive thing you could do for your spiritual life was actually to stop working? It sounds counterintuitive, but Clare argues that the radical practice of the Sabbath is the ultimate antidote to the pressure of constant productivity that a 3 feels. We wrap up the conversation by exploring how rest acts as a vital spiritual discipline for remembering who we truly are apart from our enneagram “edge” as she calls our false self patterns.. About Our Guest: Rev. Clare Loughrige, MMin, is an author, IEA Accredited Enneagram professional, and Founder of Crossroads Soul Resources School of Spiritual Direction. A contemplative-activist and Lead Pastor since 1991, she integrates spiritual rhythms and justice advocacy to help leaders move toward interior freedom and their God-given design. Websites https://clareloughrige.com https://ccmonline.org Enneagram certification https://scottandclareloughrige.org/enneagram-certification/ Spiritual Direction School https://scottandclareloughrige.org/school-of-spiritual-direction-2/ Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    1 hr
  7. Enneagram 5: From Observation to Embodiment in Work and Relationships with Katy Beckham

    FEB 25

    Enneagram 5: From Observation to Embodiment in Work and Relationships with Katy Beckham

    Today, Jess interviews Katy Beckham. She is a GIS Analyst, biologist, and certified Enneagram coach with two decades of experience. She hosts the We Are All Human Podcast and writes on Substack under the tag We Are All Human, focusing on the intersection of story, faith, and personal growth. Based in South Carolina, Katy is a wife and mother of three who is deeply dedicated to connecting with others through storytelling. We discuss how Enneagram 5s can move from "detached observation" to active participation in life. In this episode, Katy shares her journey of navigating the world through the lens of Type 5 Patterns. We explore the 5’s core fear of depletion and how resource management impacts high-demand seasons of motherhood and marriage. Katy offers a raw look at the Withdrawn Stance, providing strategies for remaining emotionally available for family while protecting the essential inner castle. We dive into Enneagram relationship patterns and attachment styles, discussing how her disorganized attachment has become secure in marriage, while building emotional security with her kids. We break down the Type 5 stress and growth arrows, learn how nature growth for a 5 is embodiment through nature and exercise helps Head Types bridge the gap between intellect and emotion, shifting from a posture of "avarice" to a trust in God’s presence. You don’t want to miss this episode packed with wisdom from Katy. Connect with Kay Beckham: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/weareallhumanpodcast/Substack (Podcast & Writing) https://substack.com/@weareallhumanpodcastWatch the We Are All Human Podcast: YouTube http://www.youtube.com/@weareallhumanpodcastListen to the We Are All Human Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-are-all-human/id1495864942 Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus Mentioned in this episode: Need Coaching? https://www.transformingus.org/

    1h 3m
  8. Enneagram 8: Finding the Heart in Leadership, and Avoidant Attachment with Travis Vangsnes

    FEB 11

    Enneagram 8: Finding the Heart in Leadership, and Avoidant Attachment with Travis Vangsnes

    In this episode, Jess sits down with her husband, Travis Vangsnes, for an honest and deep-diving conversation into the inner world of an Enneagram 8. As a father of five and a passionate advocate within the foster care system, Travis opens up about the "big energy" that defines the Challenger and the constant internal battle with the Type 8 core lie: the belief that it is not okay to be weak or vulnerable. For any Eight searching for a way to lead without overwhelming others, or for those who love an Eight and want to understand the "why" behind the intensity, this episode serves as a roadmap for transformation. Jess and Travis explore the fascinating intersection of the Enneagram and Attachment Theory, specifically looking at how a Fearful-Avoidant attachment style can create a unique tug-of-war between a fierce need for independence and a deep longing for intimacy. They discuss the nuances of the One-to-one Subtype for an 8 and how that intense energy manifests in leadership, parenting, and their own marriage. This episode provides a rare look into the Type 4 and Type 8 relationship dynamic, highlighting how they navigate conflict, find balance, and move toward a secure connection by embracing vulnerability as a strength. The journey toward growth for an Eight involves shifting from a place of confrontation to a place of deep emotional awareness. Travis shares the spiritual practices that are currently transforming him, and the realization that he no longer has to be his own protector by leaning into the spiritual truth that he is safe in God’s care. Mentioned in this episode: Stay at our Shiny Eyes Airbnb Retreats: When we aren’t recording or advocating, we love hosting guests in our intentional spaces. Come find rest and connection at one of our retreats: Glamping Cozy Cabin [Link to Airbnb Retreat 1] Sleeps 3Glamping Container [Link to Airbnb Retreat 2] Sleeps 3Glamping Geodesic Dome [Link to Airbnb Retreat 3] sleeps 5 Listen to Travis’s Podcasts: That’s So Rad https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thats-so-rad/id1810887342 Cultivate the Ordinary https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cultivate-the-ordinary/id1725656621Foster Friendly Podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-foster-friendly-podcast/id1755210067 Read one of Trav’s books: Redemptions Echo https://a.co/d/g8rDp6HShiny Eyes https://a.co/d/9kslwY3 Connect with Travis: If you are a man (or know a man) who is looking for coaching to help navigate leadership patterns, Enneagram growth, or relationship dynamics, Travis works with individuals and leaders to help them find clarity and strength. You can reach him directly for coaching inquiries at travisvangsnes@gmail.com. Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus Mentioned in this episode: Need Coaching? https://www.transformingus.org/

    57 min
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5
out of 5
24 Ratings

About

Redeeming Relationship Patterns to Find Security and Wholeness Join Jess Vangsnes and Tamara Brown, trauma-informed relationship coaches and longtime friends, as they explore the journey of transforming your life and relationships. In a world where many feel overwhelmed and disconnected in painful relationships, this podcast aims to illuminate the path to breaking free from toxic patterns by using two systems that are highly effective for transformation in relationships: The Enneagram and Attachment Theory. Together, these ladies have a combined 200+ hours of coach training around trauma, Attachment Theory, and the Enneagram in relationships, along with Gottman marriage workshops and parenting support. "Transforming Us" delves into the essentials of cultivating compassion and forging authentic connections while understanding your negative patterns. With resources rooted in understanding your core God-created self through tools like the Enneagram, listeners will discover how to earn secure attachments with others.

Information

  • Creator
    Jess Vangsnes
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    32
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Jess Vangsnes
  • Show Website
    Transforming Us Podcast

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