Transforming Us Podcast

Jess Vangsnes

Redeeming Relationship Patterns to Find Security and Wholeness Join Jess Vangsnes and Tamara Brown, trauma-informed relationship coaches and longtime friends, as they explore the journey of transforming your life and relationships. In a world where many feel overwhelmed and disconnected in painful relationships, this podcast aims to illuminate the path to breaking free from toxic patterns by using two systems that are highly effective for transformation in relationships: The Enneagram and Attachment Theory. Together, these ladies have a combined 200+ hours of coach training around trauma, Attachment Theory, and the Enneagram in relationships, along with Gottman marriage workshops and parenting support. "Transforming Us" delves into the essentials of cultivating compassion and forging authentic connections while understanding your negative patterns. With resources rooted in understanding your core God-created self through tools like the Enneagram, listeners will discover how to earn secure attachments with others.

  1. 5d ago

    Friendship with Jesus and Learning to Be Loved, Part 2, with Adam Ormord (Type 4)

    In part two of this dual-release conversation, Adam Ormord turns the microphone over to Jess Vangsnes to explore her unique inner landscape. Jess opens up about the foundational relationships that have profoundly shaped her walk with Jesus, focusing heavily on how her marriage has served as a crucible for learning to be truly loved and secure in her identity as the Beloved. They discuss the vital importance of "same-direction friendships" and community in a shared pilgrimage. Jess also introduces art as a form of deep prayer and leads listeners through an immersive, imaginative exercise inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola—allowing you to physically and emotionally embody what it looks like to walk alongside Jesus as a true friend and guide. Key Topics Covered: The Inward Pilgrimage: Exploring our interior landscapes and naming where we are spiritually.Marriage as Formation: How the intimacy of marriage shapes our capacity to accept God's love.Imaginative Prayer: A guided Ignatian inspired exercise to experience Jesus as a same direction pilgrim friend.Community on the Road: Finding and cultivating friendships that walk in the same spiritual direction. Resources & Links Connect with Adam: LifePoint Resources | The Sacred Way Community | The Being Formed PodcastConnect with Jess: Transforming Us Website | Transforming Us Podcast on Apple | Shiny Eyes Retreat

    Friendship with Jesus and Learning to Be Loved, Part 2, with Adam Ormord (Type 4)
  2. Jul 8

    Walking with Jesus and The Power of Pilgrimage, Part 1, with Adam Ormord (Type 4)

    Welcome to this special, dual-release episode kicking off a beautiful two-part conversation! In this episode, Adam Ormord of LifePoint Ministries and Jess Vangsnes of Transforming Us Coaching connect over their shared passion for spiritual formation, soul care, and relational connection. Adam shares profound personal stories from his time walking the physical trail of the Camino de Santiago, exploring how pilgrimage serves as a powerful metaphor for our daily spiritual life. Together, Adam and Jess dive into how early attachment patterns shape our view of God, the transformational shift of learning to "listen softer" to His voice, and what it means to rest under the loving gaze of Jesus. Stay tuned for part two of this conversation, where the tables turn and Adam asks Jess about the specific relationships that helped her lean into becoming the beloved of Jesus. Key Topics Covered: The Metaphor of Pilgrimage: The deep significance of intentional journeys in the spiritual life.Listening Softer: Practical steps to slow down, practice presence, and attune to God in ordinary rhythms.Attachment Theory & Faith: How our relational wiring impacts our ability to trust and experience God's constant love.Relational Spirituality: Moving away from performing for God and stepping into secure connection and joy. Resources Connect with Adam: LifePoint Resources | The Sacred Way Community | The Being Formed Podcast Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    Walking with Jesus and The Power of Pilgrimage, Part 1, with Adam Ormord (Type 4)
  3. Jun 24

    Seeing Your Enneagram Parts and Listening to Wise Self Leadership

    Get comfortable—this episode will completely shift how you see your inner world. What if your protective parts aren’t just your personality but sophisticated strategies rooted in survival? Discover how each Enneagram type develops unique, necessary parts that shield their deepest wounds—and how understanding these can unlock your true you. We dive deep into the hidden motivations behind Enneagram numbers 1 through 9. You'll discover how perfectionism, overgiving, achievement, melancholy, detachment, enthusiasm, strength, peacekeeping, and passivity are all sub-personality tactics, designed to keep you safe from feeling controlled, unworthy, unseen, or afraid. But here’s the truth: these strategies may try to keep you safe, but they also keep you stuck. The real breakthrough? Learning how to gently invite your wise true self to rise up and lead your parts. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict. In this eye-opening episode, you'll explore: How your inner protector shields your vulnerable parts—and why that might be sabotaging your growthThe specific ‘containing codes’ of each Enneagram type that keep pain at bayThe surprising ways childhood wounds shape your current survival strategiesPractical tools to shift from unconscious guarding to conscious healingHow embracing your authentic self can transform relationships, work, and your very sense of worth If you're tired of feeling trapped by your own defenses—if you’re ready to step into the fullness of who you truly are—this episode is your pivotal moment. The strategies you learn here aren’t just theoretical—they’re life-changing. When you understand the protective parts that have been running the show, you hold the power to finally let your true self flourish. This isn’t just about self-awareness; it’s about reclaiming your wholeness. Perfect for anyone seeking healing, growth, and genuine authenticity. Are you ready to meet your parts with compassion and unlock the deep well of strength within? Hit play and begin the journey to your most authentic self. Your transformation starts now. Check our Airbnb listings: Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)Shipping Container (sleeps 3)Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5) Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    Seeing Your Enneagram Parts and Listening to Wise Self Leadership
  4. Jun 10

    Becoming Curious About Attachment and Parts Work

    Unlock the secret to transforming your deepest relational wounds—your attachment style—and finally find the security you’ve been craving. If past hurts, fear of abandonment, or relentless pursuit of love keep you stuck, this episode will shatter those barriers and ignite real change. Imagine understanding how your childhood survival parts—shaped by insecure attachment—fuel your current relationships and inner pain, which can come from younger parts. Discover how vulnerable parts develop—like a forgotten child inside—and how they influence your patterns of pulling away, pursuing, or freezing. You’ll see how these hidden parts try to protect you, often without your even realizing it, and how they hold the key to genuine connection. We break down: The four attachment styles—dismissive, anxious, fearful, and secure—and the unseen parts behind each.How childhood experiences forge protective parts that surface in adult relationships.Practical steps to integrate these younger parts with your wise, adult self through biblical truths and self-leadership.The role of God's perfect love in healing fears and rewiring survival strategies for lasting security. This episode isn’t just theory—it’s your pathway back to wholeness. Missing this means staying trapped in hurt, confusion, and relational chaos. Embrace the opportunity to radically shift your inner landscape and rewrite your self-story. Whether your heart aches for safety or you long to lead your parts with compassion, this episode is your call to freedom. Prepare to face yourself honestly, lean into God’s love, and start the journey toward true attachment—because you deserve a love that heals and a life that flourishes. Are you ready to reclaim your inner peace and foster authentic connections? Tune in now and let your wholeness begin today. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict. Check our Airbnb listings: Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)Shipping Container (sleeps 3)Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5) Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    Becoming Curious About Attachment and Parts Work
  5. May 27

    The Multiplicity of Me: What Are My Parts Within?

    Most of us are walking around unaware of the inner divisions inside our minds—an endless internal committee of identity jobs, protectors, and hidden parts. But what if you could finally understand these parts not as enemies, but as vital pieces of your journey toward wholeness? This episode peels back the layers to reveal the astonishing truth: beneath our defenses lies a core of divine love, waiting to be uncovered. Dive into the fascinating world of parts work— also known as IFS or ego states —and learn how your mind forms these ego subpersonalities to keep you safe when you lacked adult resources. Jess Vangsnes guides us through the journey of recognizing those prickly reactive protectors, tough, hardworking shells, and tender vulnerabilities within, all shaped by childhood wounds and survival instincts. She shares vivid metaphors of burrs, seed coats, and the mighty American chestnut, illustrating how our defenses evolve—and how they can be gently dismantled with curiosity and compassion. You’ll discover: How to identify the inner parts that defend, hide, or hyper-activate, and why they’re actually trying to protect you.The profound connection between these parts and the Enneagram types, attachment wounds, and spiritual growth.Practical questions to explore your inner landscape—like, when do you feel criticized? Which part is exhausted trying to earn approval? What hidden part of your childhood self fears rejection?How to root yourself in God's love, shifting from reaction to response, from fear to freedom.The radical truth from scripture and psychology: your true self is already whole, patiently waiting beneath the layers of armor and masks. If you crave inner peace, authentic self-awareness, and a deeper connection with God—this episode is an invitation to meet yourself with kindness and discover the calm, curious, compassionate self that God has always destined you to be. Perfect for spiritual seekers, therapeutic helpers, and anyone ready to embrace their wholeness. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for clinical therapy. It aims to help people see how these tools can work seamlessly together, not in conflict. Ready to unlock the wisdom that lives within? Tune in, and begin your journey of inner freedom today. Check our Airbnb listings: Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)Shipping Container (sleeps 3)Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5) Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    The Multiplicity of Me: What Are My Parts Within?
  6. May 13

    Moving From Autopilot to Agency on Your Enneagram Journey

    Most of us are living on autopilot, caught in patterns of protection—believing who we are is tied to the masks we wear. But what if true freedom isn't a distant dream, but a simple choice? In this solo episode with Jess, she peels back the layers of the Enneagram, attachment theory, and parts work—showing you how to wake up, notice your patterns, and step into your real self with power and clarity. This isn’t about complicated systems or labels—it's about turning awareness into action. You'll discover how to pause your reactive tendencies with the STOP method, harness God's unlimited resources for inner strength, and finally move from living in fear to living with intention. She shares the emotional journey of her own discernment, leaning into ministry, daring to become, and embracing the God led invitation to be truly yourself. She breaks down practical tools to recognize your adaptive masks—whether you’re the fixer, the peacemaker, or the perfectionist—and how to use pattern awareness to break free. Dive into the process of shifting from exhaustion to joy, from surviving to thriving, grounded in God's abundant grace. This episode is essential if you’re tired of autopilot and ready to live with purpose, wholeness, and authentic joy. Are you ready to step out of automatic/autopilot and into the fullness of who you're meant to be? Join Jess on this powerful journey of transformation—because your real self is waiting to be awakened, loved, and finally set free. Interested in Shint Eyes Retreat? Check our Airbnb listings: Entire Retreat (sleeps 12)Cozy Cabin (sleeps 3)Shipping Container (sleeps 3)Geodesic Dome (sleeps 5)

    Moving From Autopilot to Agency on Your Enneagram Journey
  7. Apr 29

    From Eye-Rolls to Empathy: The Enneagram for Teen Self-Awareness and Compassion

    Being a teenager often feels like operating a complex engine without a manual, leaving both kids and parents overwhelmed by unnamed pressures. In this episode of Transforming Us, Jess and Travis explore how the Enneagram serves as that missing guide, moving beyond mere "types" to the heart of teen self-awareness. We discuss how understanding their unique wiring helps teens trade self-criticism for compassion, allowing them to see their struggles through the lens of a divine design rather than a limiting label. By sharing stories of how even the youngest family members can develop intuition about others' motivations, we show how this framework builds a bridge from conflict to connection. We’ll break down how to use scriptural truths alongside the Enneagram to anchor a teen’s identity in Christ, helping them navigate the social minefields of high school with grace and clarity. This isn’t just about easier parenting; it’s about equipping the next generation to move through the world with kindness and a deep sense of purpose. Whether your teen is an open book or a locked vault, hit play to discover how to turn the "what is wrong with me?" into "how did God design me to grow? Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    From Eye-Rolls to Empathy: The Enneagram for Teen Self-Awareness and Compassion
  8. Apr 23

    Enneagram 6: One Woman’s Journey of Receiving Courage, Trust and Security with Rissa Messer

    Most people associate the Enneagram Six with fear and anxiety — but what if that very fear is a powerful gateway to profound trust and freedom? Rissa Messer, a loyal guardian with a heart for the vulnerable, opens up about her raw, courageous journey from anxiety, grief, and insecurity, to discovering unshakeable security in God's love. In this episode, Rissa shares how her deep love of people and her relentless need for safety impacts her family and her 6-9 pairing in marriage. She vividly describes her ongoing battle with mental chatter, her slow emotional processing, and the ways her faith has become the anchor that holds her steady through life's storms. You'll hear about her practices—like meditating on certainties and intentionally surrendering control—that are transforming her from a restless pursuer of safety to a rooted lover of the present moment in trust. We break down: how the victory over fear comes through dependence on God, not reassurance from people; the power of embracing the mystery of life with curiosity instead of control; and the vital practices that keep her grounded — even amid loss, trauma, and uncertainty. If you're tired of striving, seeking external validation, or feeling haunted by "what ifs," this episode is your invitation to step into freedom—your true, beautiful, and secure identity in Christ. Whether you're navigating grief, anxiety, or simply longing for peace in chaos, Rissa’s vulnerability and insights will inspire you to rest in the unshakeable love of your Creator.This episode is a call to lean into the mystery, and embracing your true belovedness. It’s perfect for anyone craving peace and freedom from the bondage of fear. To chat with Rissa Email: candcmesser@gmail.com Discover more about our coaching and resources at our website transformingus.org. Lots of FREE guides and assessments for your journey. Do you need help understanding your patterns? Book your FREE 30 min discovery call today! Go to Connect. Youtube: @transformingus Instagram: @transformingus Facebook: @transformingus

    Enneagram 6: One Woman’s Journey of Receiving Courage, Trust and Security with Rissa Messer
5
out of 5
24 Ratings

About

Redeeming Relationship Patterns to Find Security and Wholeness Join Jess Vangsnes and Tamara Brown, trauma-informed relationship coaches and longtime friends, as they explore the journey of transforming your life and relationships. In a world where many feel overwhelmed and disconnected in painful relationships, this podcast aims to illuminate the path to breaking free from toxic patterns by using two systems that are highly effective for transformation in relationships: The Enneagram and Attachment Theory. Together, these ladies have a combined 200+ hours of coach training around trauma, Attachment Theory, and the Enneagram in relationships, along with Gottman marriage workshops and parenting support. "Transforming Us" delves into the essentials of cultivating compassion and forging authentic connections while understanding your negative patterns. With resources rooted in understanding your core God-created self through tools like the Enneagram, listeners will discover how to earn secure attachments with others.

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