Untethering Shame

Kyira Wackett
  • 5.0 (23)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

  1. 🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E50: Why You Keep Snapping (And What Your Reactions Are Actually Trying to Tell You)

    1d ago

    🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E50: Why You Keep Snapping (And What Your Reactions Are Actually Trying to Tell You)

    Are you feeling overwhelmed and constantly snapping at your loved ones? You are not alone. In this episode, we address the exhaustion, chronic stress, and burnout that lead to explosive reactions and intense shame. We tackle a highly relatable question from an anonymous listener: "I'm not an angry person, or, I mean, I guess at least I didn't used to be. But lately, I snap at my kids, I'm short with my partner, and I say things I immediately regret. I hate who I am by the end of the day. I know I need to regulate my nervous system, but honestly, I don't even know what that means in any real-time situation. So how do I stop doing this?" If you find yourself relating to this, this video will help you understand the biology behind your reactions. You will learn why your brain treats the never-ending to-do list like a physical threat and how chronic stress depletes your emotional buffer. We explain the critical difference between being reactive and being responsive, and we provide practical steps to expand your capacity for discomfort without simply telling you to "calm down". In this episode, you will learn: The Depletion Factor: Why you are not a bad or angry person, but rather a depleted individual running without an emotional buffer. Nervous System Biology: The exact reason your brain bypasses logic and choice during stressful everyday moments. Reactivity vs. Responsiveness: How to build that crucial space between a stressful trigger and your outward response. The Role of Unprocessed Grief: How mourning the person you used to be can manifest as anger toward your family. A Practical Action Plan: A post-reaction homework exercise to identify the true emotions hiding underneath your outbursts.Resources & Links: Liberated Living Program: Learn more about our coaching program at https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode? Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). Submit your question anonymously or with your name; whatever feels safest for you. 👉 Submit Here: https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection: I’d love to hear what came up for you. Take the Next Step ★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven-day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit ★ Download the FREE Handout: "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break the cycle keeping you stuck in a negative headspace. https://www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a Free 25 Minute Discovery Call: Discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Sign up for Liberated Living: Implement the Radical 3 practice (Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility, and Radical Authorship) to reclaim your life. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    9 min
  2. Shame, Power, and Desire: A Trauma-Informed Look at Dominance & Submission

    5d ago

    Shame, Power, and Desire: A Trauma-Informed Look at Dominance & Submission

    Stop treating your burnout with toxic habits. Explore the unexpected safety of letting go of control. In this episode, we sit down with Mistress Mia, a therapeutic dominatrix who uses her practice for deep inner work and self-development. We break down the cultural taboos surrounding kink, clarifying that the Hollywood image of leather and whips only makes up a small fraction of her actual profession. Mia details how she helps high-achieving adults, trauma survivors, and people with ADHD break destructive patterns through extreme accountability. By entering into a "sacred power exchange", individuals can release the heavy burden of constant decision-making and find freedom in a completely non-judgmental space. We discuss the psychology behind the Gateway Theory of pain, exploring how a calculated, safe dose of physical pain can successfully silence chronic psychological distress and overactive thoughts. Mia also outlines her strict safety rules, including her hard boundary against heavy play for anyone under the age of 26 to protect brain development. In this episode, we cover: Why the traditional understanding of a dominatrix is mostly a misconception. How taking away the need to have everything figured out promotes emotional healing. The psychology of undressing to bypass internal defenses and shame. Why successful people use calculated pain as a rite of passage to get unstuck. Using the Gateway Theory to find relief from dull, chronic emotional aches. Crucial advice on how to properly vet a practitioner before engaging in therapeutic BDSM.About the Guest Mistress Mia is a Transformative Life Coach, Certified Therapeutic BDSM Practitioner, and Sacred Kink & Intimacy Coach who helps people step into their power, release shame, and claim lives that feel bold, authentic, and deeply their own. A founding member of the Kink Professional Standards Alliance and part of the Therapeutic BDSM Collaborative Network, she blends embodiment, resilience practices, and intentional BDSM to support meaningful, lasting transformation. Through her self-development program (The ARC Protocol™), as well as sessions, workshops, writings, and coaching, Mistress Mia offers a grounded yet daring path to confidence, courage, and self-acceptance. Her work welcomes anyone ready to grow stronger, more expressive, and more unapologetically themselves. Connect with Mia: Website: www.myarcprotocol.com TikTok: @mistressmiapayne Instagram: @callmemistressmia Telegram: @mistressmiapayne Email: MistressMia@paynewithpurpose.comResources Mentioned: Kink Professionals Standard Alliance: https://thekpsa.org/ Get Connected. ★ Subscribe to my YouTube channel ★ Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list ★ Listen to my Podcast: Spotify Episode LinkTake the Next Step. ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    49 min
  3. Ask Me Anything – E49: I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore (How to Find Your Way Back When Burnout Took Everything)

    May 20

    Ask Me Anything – E49: I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore (How to Find Your Way Back When Burnout Took Everything)

    ★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I've been running on empty for so long that I genuinely don't remember what it felt like to be okay. I don't know what I like anymore. I don't know what I want. I don't even know who I am outside of everything I do for everyone else. How do I find my way back to myself when I don't even know where to start?" We examine the reality of "Burnout Identity Erosion" and why forgetting who you are is a logical outcome of chronic survival mode. This conversation shifts the perspective from finding a lost version of yourself to actively writing your next chapter. Inside This Episode Burnout Identity Erosion: How your nervous system trades joy and curiosity for basic survival.The Shame of Losing Yourself: Why abandoning yourself to hold everything together is not a personal failure.Radical Authorship: Why identity is not something you find, but something you actively write.Breadcrumbs to Yourself: How noticing small moments of connection and buried values can help you rebuild your foundation.If you feel like a function rather than a human being and want to reconnect with your authentic preferences, this episode will help you pick up the pen and start writing your next iteration. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).Submit your question anonymously or with your name; whatever feels safest for you.👉 Submit Here: https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection: I’d love to hear what came up for you. Take the Next Step ★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit★ Download the FREE Handout: "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break the cycle keeping you stuck in a negative headspace. https://www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient★ Book a Free 25 Minute Discovery Call: Discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call★ Sign up for Liberated Living: Implement the Radical 3 practice (Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility, and Radical Authorship) to reclaim your life. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    9 min

  4. May 17

    Shame & Silence: Lessons on Listening and Love from a Child of Deaf Adults with Maria Gallucci

    In this episode, I sit down with Maria Gallucci, a multi-award-winning real estate agent, author, and a proud Child of Deaf Adults (CODA), to uncover the hidden realities of navigating a world built for the hearing. Maria reveals to me the heavy emotional burden of acting as a childhood interpreter, the massive accessibility gaps in the housing and medical systems, and how she turned a life of feeling "othered" into a nationwide mission for radical inclusion. Key Takeaways The unspoken trauma of children forced to interpret complex, life-altering adult situations. Why treating everyone "equally" is actually a massive mistake when trying to foster true inclusion. The hidden accessibility crisis in the real estate market, and the exact steps needed to fix it. How growing up as a CODA shaped her 30-year mission to protect Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and LGBTQ+ homebuyers. The simple, everyday habits that accidentally isolate marginalized groups (and how we can correct them immediately).Chapters00:00 The Heavy Burden of Being a Child Interpreter03:54 How We Accidentally Exclude The Deaf Community08:02 Turning Childhood Isolation Into a Fight for Inclusion13:02 Why True Empathy & Inclusion Starts At Home23:06 The Real Estate Industry's Massive Accessibility Problem31:50 Protecting an LGBTQ+ Child From Intense Bullying38:30 Maria’s Book: Raised In Silence & ASL Realty40:53 Dismantling Systems of Comparison and Shame About My Guest, Maria GallucciMaria Gallucci is a multi-award-winning real estate agent, author, and a proud CODA (Child of Deaf Adults). Growing up as one of six hearing children raised by Deaf parents, she learned American Sign Language before English and began interpreting for her family in complex adult situations at a young age. This unique childhood shaped her lifelong passion for inclusive communication and helping often-overlooked communities feel seen and respected. For over 30 years, Maria has specialized in supporting homebuyers in the Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and LGBTQ+ communities. She is the founder of ASL Realty, a national platform that connects clients with signing agents, and her work is dedicated to bridging communication gaps and fostering a more compassionate world. Resources & Connect with Maria Explore ASL Realty: https://aslrealty.com/ Work with Gallucci Homes: https://galluccihomes.com/ Read Maria's Book, Raised in Silence: raisedinsilence.com Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maria-gallucci-18725b9Full episode transcript available here: Episode Transcript Connected. Subscribe to my YouTube channel Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42Take the Next Step. Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    42 min
  5. Ask Me Anything – E48: Why Choosing Yourself Feels Like Losing Everyone (And What to Do When It Does)

    May 13

    Ask Me Anything – E48: Why Choosing Yourself Feels Like Losing Everyone (And What to Do When It Does)

    ★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I finally started putting myself first. Boundaries, saying no, protecting my time. And instead of feeling better, I feel worse. My relationships are tense. People are pulling away or frustrated. Now I'm wondering if this whole taking care of myself thing is just selfish. How do I deal with the fallout of finally choosing myself?" We look at the concept of "Unspoken Contracts" and why setting healthy boundaries often leads to friction rather than immediate relief. This conversation examines how systems push back when you change your role and why choosing yourself is not the same as being selfish. Inside This Episode Disrupted Systems: Why things getting harder does not mean you are doing something wrong.Unspoken Contracts: The invisible agreements in your relationships and what happens when you stop honoring them.The Shame Spiral: How shame disguises itself as conscience to make you feel bad for growing.Navigating the Fallout: The three typical responses to change (resistance, negotiation, and exit) and how to tolerate the discomfort of holding your ground.If you have ever felt guilty for setting a boundary or worried that taking care of yourself is ruining your relationships, this episode will help you renegotiate your connections with radical responsibility. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).Submit your question anonymously or with your name; whatever feels safest for you.👉 Submit Here: https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 💬 If this

    9 min
  6. Shame & Abandonment: Rescuing Your Inner Child with Bronwyn Schweigerdt

    May 10

    Shame & Abandonment: Rescuing Your Inner Child with Bronwyn Schweigerdt

    Listen in on another vulnerable conversation between Bronwyn and Kyira, both therapists, as they share their own challenges and insights on engaging with their parents. This conversation broaches the conflict many feel as we see how our unhealed wounds of childhood affect us today. Which begs the question: how do we have a relationship with that parent? What do we do with all our resentment so it doesn't spill out on our own children? How do we have empathy for our parent while still having boundaries for ourselves? How do we give grace while also holding accountability? When do we decide to cut off a parent? Bronwyn leads Kyira in an Integration exercise with her young self in order to accept her mom as she is, not as Kyira wants her to be. Bronwyn also leads Kyira in a Grief exercise to say goodbye to the mom she had in her early childhood, which helps Kyira accept the mom she interacts with now. Episode Chapters: 00:00:00 Introduction & Welcoming Bronwyn00:01:00 Bronwyn's Background & Path to Therapy00:05:00 The Physical Cost of Suppressing Anger00:07:30 Understanding Triggers & Emotional Repression00:22:10 The Integration Exercise: Healing the Inner Child00:33:36 Live Integration Exercise with Kyira00:48:43 Daily Rituals for Emotional Regulation00:56:46 Why Flourishing is Never Selfish About the Guest:Bronwyn is a licensed marriage and family therapist, podcaster, and self-described "anger expert". As the host of the Angry at the Right Things podcast, she helps people understand the profound connection between suppressed emotions, physical illness, and mental health challenges. Drawing from her own lived experience navigating severe, debilitating depressive episodes, Bronwyn transitioned into counseling as a second career to offer the kind of deep, root-cause healing she once sought. She holds a master's degree in counseling psychology and another master's degree in nutrition. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ Get Connected. Subscribe to my YouTube channel Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9cTake the Next Step. Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. https://www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    58 min
  7. 🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E47: Why Rest Isn't Restoring You (And What an Energy Audit Actually Reveals)

    May 9

    🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E47: Why Rest Isn't Restoring You (And What an Energy Audit Actually Reveals)

    ★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:"I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do. I sleep, I take breaks, I even started saying no to things. But I still wake up exhausted and drag myself through every day. I feel like I’ve tried all the things and none of them are working. Is something actually wrong with me, or am I just bad at resting?" We explore the concept of the "Invisible Load" and why chronic exhaustion often remains even after we add rest to our schedules. This conversation shifts the focus from managing your time to relating to your energy. Inside This Episode Rest as a Ratio: Why adding more routines cannot restore what is being continuously drained. The Invisible Load: The high cost of monitoring emotional temperatures, performing competence, and rehearsing conversations. Energy Audits vs. Productivity Audits: Shifting the question from "how do I get more energy" to "where is my energy actually going?". The Armor of Patterns: How making yourself smaller to keep the peace creates a heavy, draining weight you might have forgotten you are wearing.If you have ever felt like you are doing everything "right" but still feel completely depleted, this episode will help you identify the leaks in your container and move toward radical responsibility for your own restoration. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing). Submit your question anonymously or with your name; whatever feels safest for you.👉 Submit Here: https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection: I’d love to hear what came up for you. Take the Next Step ★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit ★ Download the FREE Handout: "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break the cycle keeping you stuck in a negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a Free 25 Minute Discovery Call: Discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Sign up for Liberated Living: Implement the Radical 3 practice (Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility, and Radical Authorship) to reclaim your life. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    8 min
  8. Shame & Conditioning: When Silence Was the Price of Belonging — Part 2 with Ingrid Hu Dahl

    May 3

    Shame & Conditioning: When Silence Was the Price of Belonging — Part 2 with Ingrid Hu Dahl

    In this episode, we explore shame not just as a feeling, but as a deeply ingrained training system. Ingrid Hu Dahl returns to unpack how silence, obedience, and performance are often learned early as survival strategies, especially in families shaped by heavy cultural expectations or generational trauma. If you grew up learning how to perform for love instead of how to actually be safe, this conversation is exactly what you need to hear. Inside the Conversation: The Shame Rulebook: How hidden shame dictates our adult behavior and decisions. Conditional Love: The painful difference between spoken unconditional love and lived conditional love. Emotional Shielding: Why children subconsciously learn to protect adults emotionally. Performance as Safety: The exhausting reality of proving your worth, and the heavy toll it takes on your nervous system. Untethering: How to break these patterns and find freedom without blaming yourself.About the Guest:Ingrid Hu Dahl is an author, speaker, and guide for those breaking generational patterns. Her work focuses on dismantling the deep-seated rules of shame and obedience that dictate how we operate in adulthood. By bringing awareness to these hidden survival strategies, Ingrid helps high-performers transition from seeking conditional approval to creating genuine, lasting safety in their lives and relationships. Connect with Ingrid Hu Dahl: Website & Book: https://www.ingridhudahl.com/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/ingridhudahl and https://instagram.com/sunshiningonmorningsnow LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/ingridhudahlResources Mentioned:Where the Past Begins by Amy Tan: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Past-Begins-Writers-Memoir/dp/0062688197?&linkCode=sl2&tag=kindakreati0e-20&linkId=eabce7ca9f1ae5a59e93cb4557cffbaa&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl Get Connected: ★ Subscribe to my YouTube channel ★ Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list ★ Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9cTake the Next Step: ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    55 min
See All (242)

Trailer

5
out of 5
23 Ratings

About

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

Information

  • Creator
    Kyira Wackett
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    242
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Kyira Wackett
  • Show Website
    Untethering Shame

You Might Also Like