Untethering Shame

Kyira Wackett

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

  1. Shame & Conditioning: When Silence Was the Price of Belonging — Part 2 with Ingrid Hu Dahl

    3D AGO

    Shame & Conditioning: When Silence Was the Price of Belonging — Part 2 with Ingrid Hu Dahl

    In this episode, we explore shame not just as a feeling, but as a deeply ingrained training system. Ingrid Hu Dahl returns to unpack how silence, obedience, and performance are often learned early as survival strategies, especially in families shaped by heavy cultural expectations or generational trauma. If you grew up learning how to perform for love instead of how to actually be safe, this conversation is exactly what you need to hear. Inside the Conversation: The Shame Rulebook: How hidden shame dictates our adult behavior and decisions. Conditional Love: The painful difference between spoken unconditional love and lived conditional love. Emotional Shielding: Why children subconsciously learn to protect adults emotionally. Performance as Safety: The exhausting reality of proving your worth, and the heavy toll it takes on your nervous system. Untethering: How to break these patterns and find freedom without blaming yourself.About the Guest:Ingrid Hu Dahl is an author, speaker, and guide for those breaking generational patterns. Her work focuses on dismantling the deep-seated rules of shame and obedience that dictate how we operate in adulthood. By bringing awareness to these hidden survival strategies, Ingrid helps high-performers transition from seeking conditional approval to creating genuine, lasting safety in their lives and relationships. Connect with Ingrid Hu Dahl: Website & Book: https://www.ingridhudahl.com/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/ingridhudahl and https://instagram.com/sunshiningonmorningsnow LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/ingridhudahlResources Mentioned:Where the Past Begins by Amy Tan: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Past-Begins-Writers-Memoir/dp/0062688197?&linkCode=sl2&tag=kindakreati0e-20&linkId=eabce7ca9f1ae5a59e93cb4557cffbaa&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl Get Connected: ★ Subscribe to my YouTube channel ★ Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list ★ Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9cTake the Next Step: ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    55 min
  2. Shame & Nervous System Regulation with Elizabeth Kipp

    APR 26

    Shame & Nervous System Regulation with Elizabeth Kipp

    In this powerful conversation, we welcome back Elizabeth Kipp for the third time to discuss the missing puzzle piece in addiction and recovery: shame. Rather than viewing shame as a mindset issue or a moral failing, Elizabeth explains the biological reality of our nervous system. This episode breaks down what happens when the body senses a threat, why we seek out immediate soothing mechanisms, and how the mind creates stories to explain physical dysregulation. Whether you are navigating addiction, struggling with parenting stress, or simply feeling overwhelmed by modern life, this episode offers a practical, science-backed approach to finding your center again. Key Topics Covered The Biological Root of Shame: Why your nervous system is acting exactly as designed to keep you safe.Understanding the Polyvagal Lens: How the body cycles through sympathetic activation, dorsal shutdown, and ventral calm.The Anatomy of Addiction: Why the body seeks the fastest possible route to soothe a dysregulated nervous system.Trauma Loops: What happens when you bounce between fighting your circumstances and completely detaching from them.Real-Life Dysregulation: Kara shares a vulnerable story about parental panic, highlighting how "micro-doses" of shame compound during high-stress moments.The 40-Day Reset Protocol: A highly accessible practice using deep breathing for three minutes, five times a day to actively rewire the brain.Meeting Your Resistance: Why the urge to avoid this practice is actually your evolutionary edge.About the Guest: Elizabeth Kipp Elizabeth Kipp is a Stress Management and Historical Trauma Specialist, Certified Addiction Recovery Coach, Ancestral Clearing Practitioner, and international best-selling author of The Way Through Chronic Pain: Tools to Reclaim Your Healing Power. Elizabeth blends neuroscience, somatic awareness, and spiritual wisdom to help people release ancestral and personal patterns of suffering. By integrating these modalities with meditation, breathwork, and energy healing, she guides others toward balance and inner harmony. Having healed from over 40 years of chronic pain, anxiety, and addiction, Elizabeth’s mission is to help others reclaim their inner freedom, embody resilience, and live from their highest truth. Connect with Elizabeth Website: https://Elizabeth-Kipp.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.kipp.3Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizi.kipp/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethkipp/Get Connected. Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-listListen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c Take the Next Step. Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilientBook a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-callAre you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice: Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship. https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    1h 1m
  3. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E46: When They Change After You Leave (And Why It Hurts More)

    APR 22

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E46: When They Change After You Leave (And Why It Hurts More)

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “I decided to separate from my partner after years of feeling unheard and emotionally unsafe. Now that I’ve pulled away, they’re suddenly being kinder and doing things I begged for in the past. It’s messing with my head. Does this mean I gave up too soon?” We explore the intersection of shame, attachment, and self-trust — and how late effort can trigger old hope, grief, and self-doubt all at once. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: Why sudden kindness after separation feels so destabilizingThe difference between crisis-driven change and sustained repairThe grief of realizing “they heard me all along”How to focus on patterns over moments when making hard decisionsIf you’ve ever questioned yourself because someone started showing up differently after you pulled away, this episode will help you separate hope from reality — and return to self-trust instead of shame. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠ Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you. Take the Next Step. ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    5 min
  4. Shame & Bully Culture: The Silence That Protects Toxic Leaders with Andy Regal

    APR 19

    Shame & Bully Culture: The Silence That Protects Toxic Leaders with Andy Regal

    In this episode, I sit down with Andy Regal, a former television executive producer for major networks including MSNBC, CNBC, and Court TV, to discuss the pervasive issue of workplace bullying. Andy shares his deeply personal experiences with toxic leadership, detailing the severe psychological toll that covert and overt corporate abuse takes on high-performing professionals. From the inherent limitations of traditional HR departments to the deep shame that victims internalize, our conversation exposes the realities of a problem that costs companies billions of dollars annually. Most importantly, Andy outlines a practical framework to help targeted employees reestablish their self-esteem, find psychological safety, and reclaim their joy. Key Takeaways: The Definition of Bullying: We define workplace bullying as repeated, targeted conduct that provides no benefit to the employee or the business. The Target Profile: We explore why toxic managers rarely target underperformers; they typically direct their abuse at the most productive, devoted, and loyal employees. The Heaven's Fallacy: Doing everything right and working incredibly hard does not guarantee a fair, supportive, or safe environment in the corporate world. The HR Problem: We discuss how Human Resources departments often lack the autonomy to protect employees because their salaries are controlled by the executives perpetuating the abuse. The Cost of Silence: Allowing a toxic culture to thrive costs US companies an estimated $300 billion a year due to employee burnout, absenteeism, and healthcare expenses. The Six Tenets of Healing: Andy shares how true recovery requires establishing psychological safety, rebuilding self-esteem outside of your job title, finding renewed purpose, reigniting joy, practicing positive self-talk, and finding forgiveness.Resources Mentioned:Download Andy Regal's free Bullying Recovery Guide: https://bullyingrecoveryguide.com More about Andy:Regal worked his way up to Executive Producer, Executive Vice President of Programming, and VP of Original Programming at major media organizations such as Court TV, CNBC, and MSNBC. He served as Global Head of Video at The Wall Street Journal, overseeing journalists in New York, Washington, San Francisco, London, and Hong Kong. He garnered honors, including the Loeb Award for Excellence in Business Journalism, the Associated Press Media Editors Award, "Innovator of The Year," and Emmy nominations for Obamacare "Prescribed" and "Consumer 101" on NBC. Connect with Andy: Website: https://andyregal.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyregal-nwb/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/noworkbullies Substack: https://substack.com/@aregalmedia Link to the book: https://amzn.to/4slDzp9 Workplace Bullying Recovery Guide: https://andyregal.com/tenents/Stay Connected: Subscribe to my YouTube channel Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list Listen to my Podcast: Spotify LinkTake the Next Step: Download the FREE handout: "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace: www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient Book a free 25-minute discovery call: Discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs: https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice (Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility, and Radical Authorship): https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    51 min
  5. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E45: Why Doesn’t Anything Ever Actually Fix Me?

    APR 15

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E45: Why Doesn’t Anything Ever Actually Fix Me?

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: keep thinking I’ve found the answer. The habit. The routine. The practice. The mindset shift. I go all in, hoping this will finally fix my burnout, loneliness, resentment, or anxiety. And when I’m not magically better a few weeks later, I feel defeated and stop. It makes me wonder if I’m broken or if nothing actually works for me. Why does change feel so impossible? And how do I stop chasing fixes and actually create real, lasting change? ”We explore the intersection of shame, radical acceptance, and sustainable growth — and why healing isn’t about finding the perfect tool, but about building a long-term relationship with yourself. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: Why “fix it” culture keeps setting us up to feel brokenWhat radical acceptance actually looks like in everyday lifeThe power of 1% shifts over dramatic overhaulsHow to take responsibility for your healing without drowning in self-blameIf you’ve ever felt exhausted by trying everything and still feeling stuck, this episode will help you reframe change as incremental, human, and possible — even when it’s slow. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠ Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step? Take the Next Step. ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    7 min
  6. Shame & Grief: The Hidden Cost of Self-Blame with Chris Mamone

    APR 12

    Shame & Grief: The Hidden Cost of Self-Blame with Chris Mamone

    In today’s episode, I’m sharing a special re-release of a conversation where I was a guest on The Empowered Journey podcast, hosted by Chris Mamone. Together, we explore shame not as something to eliminate or overcome, but as a deeply human experience that shapes how we relate to ourselves, our boundaries, and our sense of worth. This conversation moves beyond surface-level insight and into the quieter dynamics that keep people stuck — including overfunctioning, people-pleasing, burnout, and the belief that safety must be earned rather than embodied. Inside this episode, we talk about: What shame actually is (and what it isn’t) How shame drives self-abandonment and chronic over-giving Why boundaries feel threatening when worth is conditional What it looks like to shift from performing healing to practicing agency How curiosity and self-trust support lasting change If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing “all the right things” but still feel disconnected from yourself, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate reframe — one that invites you back into choice instead of pressure. 🎙️ About Chris & The Empowered Journey The Empowered Journey podcast, hosted by Chris Mamone, is a space for thoughtful conversations about growth, self-awareness, and personal agency. Chris brings a grounded curiosity to each episode, creating room for reflection without rushing toward quick fixes or performative solutions. His approach centers on asking better questions, slowing down the process of change, and honoring the complexity of being human — which is exactly why this conversation felt so aligned and meaningful to share here. 🎧 You can explore more episodes of The Empowered Journey: https://empoweredgriefjourney.podbean.com/ Get Connected. ★ Subscribe to my YouTube channel ★ Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list ★ Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c  Take the Next Step. ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient  ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    52 min
  7. 🎙️Ask Me Anything – E44: How the F*ck Are We Supposed to Be Mentally Well in a World Like This?

    APR 9

    🎙️Ask Me Anything – E44: How the F*ck Are We Supposed to Be Mentally Well in a World Like This?

    In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: How are we supposed to be mentally well in a world that feels this broken?It feels wrong to be okay when so many people are suffering.It feels wrong to smile, rest, or enjoy my life. But I also can’t function if I’m constantly submerged in everything that’s happening.I don’t want to turn away. I don’t want to be numb. I don’t want to pretend things are fine.But I don’t know how to hold all of this and still live. How do you stay aware without drowning? And how do you live a normal life without feeling like a terrible person?”We explore the intersection of shame, moral exhaustion, and collective responsibility — and how caring deeply about the world doesn’t require living in perpetual despair. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about: Why the idea of simply “turning it off” is rooted in privilege — and what to do with that awareness The difference between staying informed and doom-consuming Shifting from rage and helplessness into values-aligned action How to balance engagement, rest, and sustainable care for yourself and others If you’ve ever felt crushed by the weight of everything happening in the world — while also feeling ashamed for wanting moments of peace — this episode will help you find a more honest, grounded, and sustainable way to care without destroying yourself. 📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode? Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you. 👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA 💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you. Ready to take the next step? ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    8 min
  8. Shame & Strength: Reclaiming Power Beyond Diet Culture with Clarissa Gannon

    APR 5

    Shame & Strength: Reclaiming Power Beyond Diet Culture with Clarissa Gannon

    In this episode of Untethering Shame, I’m joined by Clarissa Gannon — certified coach, plant-based bodybuilder, and founder of EmpowerHER Wellness — for an honest conversation about shame, strength, and women’s relationships with food, movement, and body size. Many women are raised to believe that worth and safety come from being smaller — eating less, doing more cardio, and living in cycles of restriction and self-monitoring. When dieting stops working, strength training can feel empowering… and deeply uncomfortable. Together, we explore why weightlifting and building muscle can feel inaccessible to women, how shame shows up in both diet culture and fitness spaces, and what it means to pursue strength without turning it into another form of self-control. Inside this episode, we talk about: How shame shapes body image, food choices, and movement Why strength training challenges shrinking-based conditioning The fear of eating more, slowing down, and taking up space The “slow grind” of building strength without instant validation Where fitness and bodybuilding culture can recreate disordered patterns Wanting to feel strong and like how you look — without tying worth to outcomes This is not a conversation about fixing your body. It’s about building a relationship with your body rooted in trust, agency, and sustainable strength. About Clarissa Gannon Clarissa Gannon is a certified coach, plant-based bodybuilder, and founder of EmpowerHER Wellness, where she helps women in perimenopause and beyond reclaim their health, strength, and confidence — without restrictive dieting or burnout. Her work blends strength training, hormone support, and plant-based nourishment to support long-term wellbeing and embodied confidence. 🔗 Connect with Clarissa: Website: https://www.herwellnessonline.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clarissa_gannon Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/clarissa.gannon Get Connected. ★ Subscribe to my YouTube channel ★ Sign up for my email list: https://adversityrising.com/email-list ★ Listen to my Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=d8cdfcb925ce4c9c  Take the Next Step. ★ Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient  ★ Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call ★ Are you a people pleaser? Ruminator? Over-extender? Sign up for the next round of Liberated Living and implement the radical 3 practice — Radical Acceptance, Radical Responsibility & Radical Authorship: https://adversityrising.com/liberated-living

    45 min
5
out of 5
22 Ratings

About

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame. 

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