What happens when professional success cannot heal the pain you have carried since childhood? In Episode 99 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Neko Parham—actor, writer, producer, director, acting coach, youth mentor and creative director whose career has included projects such as The Wire, Ant-Man, NYPD Blue, Sleepy Hollow, Mr. Mercedes, Bessie and Sabotage. But this conversation goes far beyond Hollywood. Neko opens up about growing up in Decatur, Georgia, being raised in a home filled with strong women and watching his father struggle with cocaine addiction. He remembers seeing the pain it caused his mother, discovering drugs being prepared inside their home and eventually reaching a moment when his anger became so overwhelming that he planned to kill his father. Then a Stevie Wonder song interrupted that moment. Neko describes it as the Holy Spirit reminding him that another life was still possible—a life beyond rage, violence and the pain of his childhood. Years later, after leaving home, pursuing acting and building a successful career, Neko realized the people closest to him did not even know his father was alive. That realization forced him to confront the resentment, grief and emotional distance he had buried. He eventually wrote his father a four-page letter explaining what their relationship had been—and what he still hoped it could become. When his father did not immediately respond, Neko made the call himself. What followed was an emotional two-hour conversation filled with anger, tears, laughter, honesty and reconciliation. In the middle of that conversation, Neko told his father: “Dude, I just want you.” That moment changed their relationship. This episode explores: • Neko’s career in acting, writing and filmmaking • Working on Ant-Man and other major Hollywood productions • Discovering acting as a teenager • How theater helped him express buried trauma • Growing up surrounded by strong Black women • His father’s cocaine addiction and return to the church • Church hurt, shame and relapse • Witnessing the emotional pain in his parents’ marriage • The night Neko planned to kill his father • How music interrupted a moment of violence • Leaving home and emotionally separating from his family • The father wound many men carry silently • The difference between saying “I forgive you” and actually healing • Writing his father a vulnerable four-page letter • Learning to wrestle without losing reverence • Understanding his father’s own childhood trauma • Reframing the stories we tell about our parents • Therapy, emotional language and generational healing • Becoming the father he needed as a child • Why transparency builds trust between parents and children • Mentoring young actors and helping them discover purpose • Creating stories that make young people feel seen • Birth Mob Media and storytelling with purpose • Why healing must begin with the person in the mirror Neko’s story is not about pretending the damage never happened. It is about recognizing that what happened is true—but asking what else might also be true. His father hurt him. His father also carried wounds of his own. Their lost years cannot be recovered, but today they have a relationship built through honesty, compassion, boundaries and the decision not to surrender to the past. Neko’s final challenge is simple: Start the healing journey today. Do not wait for the person who hurt you to change first. Love yourself enough to address your own wounds, clean up your side of the street and release some of the weight you have been carrying. Follow Neko at BirthMobMedia.com Follow Neko Parham: Instagram: @m.nekoparham Follow Jason Becker: Instagram: @_jason_becker Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom: [www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org) Special thanks to the sponsors who make these conversations possible: Floorzz [www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com) TruNorth Pest Control [www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com) Subscribe, leave a comment and share this episode with someone navigating a difficult relationship with a parent. What would you say to your father or mother if you knew they would truly listen? #NekoParham #FatherWound #FatherSonRelationship #AddictionRecovery #Forgiveness #GenerationalTrauma #HealingJourney #MensMentalHealth #ChildhoodTrauma #FaithAndHealing #ChristianPodcast #HollywoodActor #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker #Episode99
