84 episodes

Do you wonder what comes after purity culture? Do conservatives think you're too progressive while progressives think you're too conservative? Are you frustrated by the simplistic way the church spoke about sexuality and humanity? In this podcast, we untangle sexual ethics for a new generation of Christians through conversations that give you the tools you need to develop your own ideas to help you, your community, and your church live a wholehearted life exactly where you are today. We cover topics about sexuality, singleness, marriage, dating, divorce, parenting, and more. You will find sound theological framing and psychological insights shape our conversations with thought leaders in their fields. And you will leave equipped and empowered to live your life. For more information about our show and our guests, check out www.wheredowegopod.com.

Where Do We Go From Here Devi Abraham & Jessica Van Der Wyngaard

    • Religion & Spirituality
    • 4.7 • 103 Ratings

Do you wonder what comes after purity culture? Do conservatives think you're too progressive while progressives think you're too conservative? Are you frustrated by the simplistic way the church spoke about sexuality and humanity? In this podcast, we untangle sexual ethics for a new generation of Christians through conversations that give you the tools you need to develop your own ideas to help you, your community, and your church live a wholehearted life exactly where you are today. We cover topics about sexuality, singleness, marriage, dating, divorce, parenting, and more. You will find sound theological framing and psychological insights shape our conversations with thought leaders in their fields. And you will leave equipped and empowered to live your life. For more information about our show and our guests, check out www.wheredowegopod.com.

    78: We Can't 'Love the Sinner and Hate the Sin'

    78: We Can't 'Love the Sinner and Hate the Sin'

    Raise your hand if you heard the phrase "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Turns out there's a psychological reason why this is impossible. Dr. Richard Beck joins us today to talk about the psychology of disgust and the unconscious ways in which we push people away whom we believe will contaminate us. Jess and Devi also debrief the power of metaphors, and the ways a metaphor can harm us (crumpled rose anyone?). 
    Partners get the full audio of this rich conversation, so if you want more from Dr. Richard Beck, join our community in Patreon for $3/month.
    Full show notes here
    Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter
    Richard Beck is an author, blogger and professor of psychology at Abilene Christian University. His most recent books are Hunting Magic Eels: Recovering an Enchanted Faith in a Skeptical Age and Trains, Jesus and Murder: The Gospel According to Johnny Cash. Richard writes daily about the intersections of faith and psychology on his blog Experimental Theology.

    • 51 min
    Taking a break!

    Taking a break!

    Jess and Devi are both sick this week, so the show is taking a little break.
    Don't forget to talk to us on Twitter and Instagram
    Or if you want to hear something new, this may be the week to partner with us to hear all the wonderful episodes we've got in Patreon. 

    • 1 min
    77: "I'm Afraid of Making Mistakes"

    77: "I'm Afraid of Making Mistakes"

    Listener Julie joins us to talk about the fear of making mistakes and how it crippled her for years. You'll find yourself in the broad themes of her story as someone who had to take on Purity Culture, the prosperity gospel, and her own pride. It moved her from passive princess to the strong, single woman she is today. 
    Partner with us for $3/month to hear this month's romcom recap, "500 Days of Summer." You also get special guest episodes and a ticket to the Green Room.
    Full show notes here
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    • 49 min
    76: Modesty Was The Gateway Drug To Purity Culture

    76: Modesty Was The Gateway Drug To Purity Culture

    If you've been eyeing a summer bikini and hoping no one from church sees you, this might be your episode. Most of us had a parent or pastor telling us what to wear before we ever heard about premarital sex. The "modesty" conversation embedded itself into Purity Culture dictating the length of shorts, width of straps, and what kind of swimsuit was ok. We go through the problems with how modesty was taught and end with What Do We Wear From Here? We talk about ethical fashion, the context for our clothes, what's developmentally appropriate, and so much more.
    AND!!! Dr. Celeste Holbrook joins us as our first contributor for a monthly segment answering YOUR questions about sex. Listen up for the inaugural q & a at the end of this episode. Connect with Dr. Celeste on Facebook and Instagram.
    Full show notes here
    Partner with us for $3/month and listen to July's new romcom recap: 500 Days of Summer! Plus you get to hear uncut episodes from Dr. Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Dr. Michael Bird, and so many more (and a ticket to The Green Room). 
    Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

    • 47 min
    75: "I'm Queer And In The Church"

    75: "I'm Queer And In The Church"

    We've got a BIG episode for you to finish out June 2021. Listener and book club member Steph joins us to share her where do we go from here? story. From conservative evangelical culture in the mid west of the United States to the discovery that she's queer, Steph's insight about life as a queer Christian and what being part of a church community has meant to her will encourage you. 

    As a special gift to you from our show, we've unlocked our Partner-only episode with Bridget Eileen Rivera so that all of you can listen to it in Patreon.
    Get a ticket to the Green Room! We meet on zoom at 9pm EST on Thursday June 24 (11am Melbourne time, June 25). It's the perfect place to meet others on a similar journey, ask questions, discuss and grow. 

    Jess and Devi also start this episode off with a conversation about last week's hot topic: the song "Modest is Hottest." Is this a 2021 expression of Purity Culture? Should we give it any oxygen? What is real satire? We talk about it, and issue a challenge for you.

    Compose a song satirizing modest culture - real satire! - record yourself performing it, put it on social media and tag us. We'd love to feature your work on the show if it's quality.
    Full show notes here
    Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

    • 1 hr 1 min
    74: The Troubled History of Manufactured Masculinity in American Evangelicalism

    74: The Troubled History of Manufactured Masculinity in American Evangelicalism

    One of Purity Culture's origin stories is the birth of the militaristic masculine tradition inside white American evangelicalism. It is a story clearly told and meticulously documented by Professor Kristin Kobes Du Mez in her singular book, Jesus and John Wayne. Pioneered by men like James Dobson then continued more recently by John Eldredge and Mark Driscoll, this movement sought to define the nuclear family as the most important unit worthy of the protection of a strong father figure. But what of the generation of men who read Wild at Heart, attended boot camps, and grew up believing they didn't fit the evangelical picture of masculinity? Their experience of reading this book is told throughout the episode as Professor Du Mez explains where the movement came from and how it shaped the fractured evangelicalism we see today.  
    Full show notes here
    Partner with us for $3/month to hear Professor Du Mez's talk to us about the untold stories around Billy Graham, James Dobson, and Mark Driscoll. 
    Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter
    Kristin Kobes Du Mez is Professor of History and Gender Studies at Calvin University. She holds a PhD from the University of Notre Dame and her research focuses on the intersection of gender, religion, and politics. She has written for the New York Times, Washington Post, NBC News, and Religion News Service, and has been interviewed on NPR, CBS, and the BBC, among other outlets. Her most recent book is Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. Connect with Kristin on Twitter

    • 1 hr

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
103 Ratings

103 Ratings

B. Lee Vur ,

Great show

What believers need - tools for living instead of rules

Julia Willhite ,

Just gets better and better

Devi and Jess are so insightful and handle the big topics they discuss with such care. I support this podcast on Patreon because I believe so strongly in the important work they are doing.

d_jo_ ,

I feel less alone

Can’t wait to dive deeper into these episodes. I have only listened to two so far but the hosts are so insightful and really do a great job speaking about topics that are so nuanced. I also really appreciate how they debrief at the end of the conversation with the guest, it helps the listener tremendously in beginning to dissect what was just heard. Just shared with two of my siblings. Thank you!

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