Where Do We Go From Here?

Devi Abraham & Jessica Van Der Wyngaard
  • 4.7 (190)
  • CHRISTIANITY
  • WEEKLY SERIES
Where Do We Go From Here?

A bi-monthly podcast untangling sex, self, and community for a new generation of Christians. Leave purity culture behind, save what matters.

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  1. EPISODE 1

    Where Did Devi Go From Here? Saying Goodbye (for now)

    After nearly five years of co-creating Where Do We Go From Here?, Devi Abraham is stepping away from the podcast and Patreon community — and today, Jess sits down with her for one final conversation. In this emotional and reflective episode, Devi shares what led to her decision, how her life has shifted since 2019, and what she’s dreaming about in this next chapter. From parenting and mental health to rest, community, and the surprising role of cake in connecting with teenagers, this episode is full of the warmth, honesty, and depth Devi has brought to the mic every single time. Whether you've been here since the beginning or are just tuning in, this is a moment to mark. Thank you, Devi. 💛 👉 Stick around to hear what’s next for Where Do We Go From Here?, including our new monthly serial No Hard Feelings and Thoughts & Prayers. 🔗 Show Notes: 📬 Subscribe to Devi’s writing: deviabraham.substack.com 📸 Follow Devi on Instagram: @devi_writes 💛 Learn more about Prison Network 🧵 Join our community on Patreon: patreon.com/wheredowegopod 🎧 Listen to the episode with Matthias: [“What Are the Rules When There Are No Rules?”]

    54 min

  2. EPISODE 2

    What Does Safe Sex and Ghosting Have in Common?

    Welcome to Where Do We Go From Here's new monthly episode series: No Hard Feelings - where we take on the questions that don’t have easy answers. But the answers don’t need to be hard and fast. Here we’ll explore different perspectives, share our own thoughts and invite you to form your own - because here, there’s no hard feelings.  Host: Jessica  Co-hosts: Emily & Kristen  In the inaugeral episode of 'No Hard Feelings', Jessica, Emily, and Kristen delve into the complexities of ghosting and its implications in dating and relationships. They explore whether ghosting is ever acceptable, the nuances of communication in various relationship stages, and the importance of safety and vulnerability. The conversation encourages thoughtful dialogue and diverse perspectives on these often contentious topics. In this episode, the hosts discuss the emotional impact of ghosting in relationships, emphasizing the lack of communication and emotional intelligence often exhibited by men. They transition into the topic of contraception, debating whose responsibility it is and the importance of open conversations about sexual health. The discussion highlights the need for mutual respect and understanding in relationships, particularly regarding contraceptive choices. The episode concludes with a reflection on the challenges of adulting and the necessity of ongoing dialogue in navigating complex issues.   Takeaways: Ghosting is defined as ending a relationship without explanation. The hosts discuss the disrespectful nature of ghosting in established relationships. Safety concerns can justify ghosting in certain situations. Communication is essential, but not always safe or easy. Different perspectives on ghosting can lead to more understanding. Caspering, or friendly ghosting, is a more respectful approach. The impact of ghosting on emotional resilience is significant. Generational differences in ghosting behaviors are evident. The hosts emphasize the importance of vulnerability in dating. Navigating dating requires balancing honesty and personal safety. Ghosting leaves individuals with an ambiguous loss. Most men lack emotional intelligence regarding ghosting. Women often articulate their feelings better than men. Contraception is a shared responsibility between partners. Open conversations about sex are crucial for safety. Condoms should be prioritized to protect both partners. Purity culture impacts decisions around contraception. Conversations can prevent misunderstandings in relationships. Adulting involves navigating difficult conversations. It's important to keep asking questions about relationships.   Where Do We Go From Here? is a podcast hosted and produced by Jessica Vanderwyngaard.  Support the work of the podcast at patreon.com/wheredowegopod

    47 min

  3. EPISODE 3

    Where Does Deconstruction Go From Here?

    In this episode of 'Where Do We Go From Here?', host Jessica van der wyngaard introduces her new co-host EDJ, who shares her journey from Australia to America and her experiences with deconstruction in faith. The conversation explores the themes of grace, purity culture, and the importance of open discussions about faith and relationships. EDJ discusses her background in Bible college and how it shaped her beliefs, as well as her plans for future interviews and topics related to deconstruction and spirituality. EDJ shares her journey of moving from Australia to America. The concept of 'Thoughts and Prayers' is redefined in a communal context. Deconstruction is a long and personal journey. Bible college challenged EDJ's previous beliefs about faith. Grace is a central theme in understanding one's relationship with God. Purity culture has lasting impacts on relationships and self-perception. Open conversations about sex and faith are necessary. Deconstruction can lead to healthier perspectives on faith. Future episodes will include interviews with various authors and influencers.

    38 min
  4. Pelvic Floors, Pain, Pleasure & Purity Culture with osteopath Rebecca Lovett

    EPISODE 4

    Pelvic Floors, Pain, Pleasure & Purity Culture with osteopath Rebecca Lovett

    What if your pain isn’t just something you have to live with? In this episode, Jessica talks with osteopath Rebecca Lovett about pelvic floors, vaginismus, body shame, and the impact of purity culture on women’s health. They explore how trauma can live in the body, why many women suffer in silence, and what it means to reconnect with your body — not just spiritually, but physically. This conversation is honest, warm, and deeply practical — and it's here to remind you: your body is not a problem to be solved. 📍 Rebecca Lovett is a Melbourne-based osteopath with a focus on pelvic health and whole-body care. Learn more: rebeccalovettosteopath.com.au

    43 min
  5. Emotional Affairs & the First American Pope. A No Hard Feelings Chat

    EPISODE 5

    Emotional Affairs & the First American Pope. A No Hard Feelings Chat

    This episode of No Hard Feelings is one for the books: we’re tackling two wildly different but surprisingly rich topics — emotional cheating in the age of smartphones, and the global significance of the first American pope, Leo XIV. First, Jessica, Kristen, and Emily unpack what emotional cheating actually is (spoiler: it’s not as cut and dry as you think). From secret texts and blurred lines to purity culture hangovers and relational ethics, we sit in the tension and explore the gray areas of emotional intimacy. Then we shift gears to talk about the newly appointed Pope Leo XIV — what it means for the global church, the far right’s response, and how Catholicism’s center of gravity may be shifting away from Europe. We don’t offer all the answers. But we ask the questions with honesty, curiosity, and no hard feelings. 🎧 Support the show and get bonus content at patreon.com/wheredowegopod

    34 min
  6. Can You Still Follow God After Church Trauma? A conversation with Brenda Palmer

    EPISODE 6

    Can You Still Follow God After Church Trauma? A conversation with Brenda Palmer

    What happens when saying yes to God means leaving behind everything you built — and trusting Him in the silence? In this deeply moving episode, Jessica talks with evangelist, author, and podcast host Brenda Palmer about her upcoming book The Journey of Yes. But this conversation goes far beyond the book. Brenda opens up about growing up in purity culture, losing her church community after choosing to speak out, walking away from a thriving career, and learning to hear God’s voice in the wilderness of financial uncertainty and emotional pain. With wisdom, joy, and radical honesty, she reminds us: That hearing from God is a process, not a lightning bolt That obedience isn’t about transaction, but transformation And that our trauma doesn’t disqualify us — it’s often where God meets us Whether you’ve walked away from church, are learning to trust God again, or are somewhere in between, this conversation is a breath of Spirit-filled air. Where to find Brenda: https://www.iambrendapalmer.com/ Pre-orders: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/762936/the-journey-of-yes-by-brenda-palmer/ Where to find us: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod

    43 min
  7. Is Christianity Still Good News for Women?

    EPISODE 7

    Is Christianity Still Good News for Women?

    Is Christianity still good news for women? It’s a big question — and in this episode, Jessica is joined by Emily and Kristen for a thoughtful, vulnerable conversation that doesn’t shy away from the tension. Together, they explore: 🧠 How growing up in the church shaped their views on womanhood, sex, and submission ✝️ The parts of Christianity they’ve kept — and what they’ve had to leave behind 💔 The difference between Jesus and the institutions that claim to represent him 🧎‍♀️ Whether the “good news” can still be good when it’s caused so much harm 🪢 And what hope, faith, and spirituality can look like after the unraveling This isn’t a theological debate — it’s an honest look at what it means to be a woman who still wants to engage faith after everything. No easy answers. No hard feelings. Just an open conversation for wherever you’re at.

    46 min
  8. Do we still believe in "obedience" after purity culture?

    EPISODE 8

    Do we still believe in "obedience" after purity culture?

    In this Thoughts and Prayers episode, Jessica and EDJ wade into the murky waters of what it means to engage with faith, critique evangelicalism, and still remain spiritually alive. It’s part deconstruction, part spiritual therapy — with a side of sass. They ask: Can you love Jesus but be done with church? What happens when purity culture gives way to embodied faith? And how do you hold grief and hope in the same breath when it comes to faith traditions that shaped you — and hurt you? This conversation isn’t tied up in a bow — and that’s the point. If you’re craving raw honesty and nuanced faith, this one’s for you. In this episode: Church trauma and the long shadow of spiritual abuse “Healing” and the commodification of it in Christian spaces Why it’s okay to say “I don’t know” The spiritual cost of being a “good girl” Rebuilding a relationship with the divine on your own terms Join the conversation and let us know your biggest takeaway.

    33 min
  9. Purity, Paul, and Pride: A Queer Pastor Reimagines Christianity

    EPISODE 9

    Purity, Paul, and Pride: A Queer Pastor Reimagines Christianity

    Host: EDJ Guest: Rev. Brandan Robertson – author of Queer and Christian, TikTok pastor, theologian, and public speaker. In this heartfelt and deeply thoughtful conversation, EDJ speaks with Rev. Brandan Robertson about growing up evangelical, discovering his queerness, and finding a theology that held both faith and identity. Together, they unpack: Brandan’s journey from Moody Bible Institute to affirming theology The trauma of purity culture and conversion therapy Why “obedience” and biblical literalism can be harmful What the Bible really says about queerness – including the infamous word arsenokoite Queer readings of scripture and the radical inclusivity of Jesus How deconstruction can lead to more honest, expansive faith What it means to let love—not fear—guide your theology Whether you're curious, questioning, or walking your own road of reconstruction, this episode offers theological insight, personal stories, and radical grace. 🛒 Buy Queer and Christian: https://QueerChristian.org 📍 Follow Brandan: TikTok, Instagram, and more via QueerChristian.org 🔗 Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/wheredowegopod

    46 min

  10. EPISODE 10

    Most Downloaded: Sex and Agency

    Originally released as Episode 49.  This episode is all about one word: agency. Jessica and Devi revisit their conversation with Sheila Gregoire about what it really means for women to experience pleasure, make choices, and have autonomy in their sexual relationships. From obligation sex to pleasure gaps in marriage, we dissect the ways purity culture erased agency—and what reclaiming it can look like.

    38 min
  11. Is It Time for a New Christian Sexual Ethic?

    EPISODE 11

    Is It Time for a New Christian Sexual Ethic?

    Is it time to reimagine a Christian sexual ethic? That’s the big question Jessica, Kristen, and Emily take on in this bold, honest, and expansive No Hard Feelings conversation. Together, we dive deep into the history of Christian sexual ethics—from the Garden of Eden and ancient Israelite practices to purity culture and the modern church. This isn’t just a theology class. We’re asking: What was the biblical sexual ethic really? How has marriage changed over the centuries? What role did empire, patriarchy, and purity culture play? What do we owe to queer theologians in rethinking Christian sexuality? How can we build a framework that values consent, agency, dignity, and inclusion? Whether you’ve left purity culture behind, are raising kids, are single in the church, or just want to better understand how we got here—this episode is for you. 🔑 Plus, Jessica shares a deeply personal vision for a new Christian sexual ethic—available exclusively on Patreon. Join us for this no-holds-barred conversation. Because when it comes to faith and sex, there are no hard feelings—just open hearts and honest questions. 🔗 Links & Resources Jessica’s solo episode: A New Christian Sexual Ethic? → Patreon Exclusive Episode with Brandon Robertson on queer theology → Listen now Follow us on Instagram: @wheredowegopod

    54 min
  12. "Talking About Sex in Church Broke Us" — Donna Freitas on Healing What Religion Couldn’t

    EPISODE 12

    "Talking About Sex in Church Broke Us" — Donna Freitas on Healing What Religion Couldn’t

    Author, scholar, and survivor Donna Freitas joins us for a raw and deeply thoughtful conversation on the ways purity culture, religious silence, and institutional failures around sexuality have left lasting wounds — and where healing might actually begin. In this episode, we talk about: 📚 Donna’s personal story of church trauma and spiritual silence ✝️ The impact of purity culture on desire, consent, and autonomy 🧠 Why Christian spaces still struggle to talk about sex without shame 💔 How writing became Donna’s way back to something like prayer 🔍 The difference between sexual ethics and sexual rules 🧎‍♀️ What healing can look like when religion has been the source of harm 👀 The things that don’t get said in evangelical and Catholic conversations around sex — and why they matter This one is for anyone who's been handed shame in the name of God — and is still trying to sort through what’s true, what’s trauma, and what’s worth keeping.   Donna Freitas is an author, researcher, professor, and leading voice in conversations around sex, consent, spirituality, and young adult faith. Website: www.donnafreitas.com Substack: @donnafreitas Instagram: @donnafreitas.writer   Where Do We Go From Here is a podcast by Jessica Vanderwyngaard For more content and to partner with the show: https://www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod Today's Host was EDJ - https://evangelicaldeconstructionjourney.com/

    33 min
See All Season 4 (12)

4.7
out of 5
190 Ratings

About

A bi-monthly podcast untangling sex, self, and community for a new generation of Christians. Leave purity culture behind, save what matters.

Information

  • Creator
    Devi Abraham & Jessica Van Der Wyngaard
  • Episodes
    176
  • Seasons
    4
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © All Rights Reserved by Authors
  • Show Website
    Where Do We Go From Here?

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