Fail fast. Fail forward. Fail better. As a society, we’ve turned failure into a slogan to celebrate, but somehow we’re more afraid of it than ever. So what's going on? Most of us say failure is our best teacher, but I doubt many of you have ever walked away from a failure doing a happy dance. IInstead, you probably let the moment rattle around in your head at some ungodly hour, then played it a little safer the next time. Don't worry, you're not the only one. Today, Drew and I break down why every piece of advice you've ever received about failure has, well… failed you. We cover why indulging in "failure porn" is such a harmful move and what it actually takes to learn from our mistakes (it's not what you think). We explain the evolutionary reason a rejected email can feel threatening. We tell the story of how a country's inability to admit failure got thousands killed, and of a monk so tormented by his failures that he confessed them for six hours a day. We dive into the three different kinds of failure and why the setback itself matters less than the actions you take after. And we even discuss when quitting is and isn't a failure, and the five-question test that reveals the difference. Apologies in advance: this episode will not teach you how to avoid failure. On a long enough timeline, the failure rate of everything is 100%. So let's get really great at failing. Get your free episode guide: https://mrk.mn/failureguide CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Failure to Understand Failure 00:01:15 Chapter 1: The Most Overdone Topic in Self-Help 00:07:39 The Failure Porn Industrial Complex 00:16:06 Why Failure Worship Made Everything Worse 00:41:47 Chapter 2: Why Failure Hurts So Much 01:02:35 The Sociometer Theory: Your Brain's Status-Tracking System 01:14:28 The Ego, Original Sin, and Why You Can't Escape Failure 01:31:57 Chapter 3: When You Define Yourself, You Define Your Failures 02:07:08 Confession, Therapy, and the Technology of Atonement 02:23:48 Chapter 4: Andre Agassi and the Two Types of Failure 02:30:00 Guilt vs. Shame: Converting Your Pain Into Growth 03:04:36 Chapter 5: Amy Edmondson and the Three Types of Failures 03:19:46 The Science of Learning From Failure: Dosage, Recovery, and Extraction 03:30:37 When to Quit: The Five Questions That Reveal If You're Being Smart or Just Scared 03:38:53 Closing Thoughts: Choosing Your Failures Wisely CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS 80,000 Hours: Go to https://80000hours.org/solved to get your free copy of their career guide and start planning a career that is meaningful. Momentous: Head to https://livemomentous.com and use code SOLVED for up to 35% off your entire first order. Shopify: The best businesses aren’t built in boardrooms. They’re built by people who just started. Free trial at https://shopify.com/solved AG1: Visit https://drinkag1.com/solved and get a FREE Immune Support Bundle, including Omega-3 Fish Oil and Vitamin D3+K2, with your first subscription of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. Macrofactor: Start your 14-day free trial at https://app.macrofactor.com/mfmark and use code MARK. Cozy Earth: Head to https://cozyearth.com and use my code SOLVED for an exclusive 20% off home and sleepwear! Notion: Learn more about how Notion can support your business at https://notion.com/solved Quo: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/solved Purpose: Go to https://solved.deals/purpose to start getting unstuck today. Waking Up: Get started at https://manson.deals/wakingup for a 14 day trial, no risk. ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/ Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/
