Divorce Happens

Welcome to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we inspire, educate, and support you through divorce and beyond so that you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Produced by Fresh Starts Registry, the only divorce registry platform for everything you need to begin again, including home items, hype team, and everything in between. Remember, divorce happens...and then, we start fresh. We're here to support you before, during, and after divorce. Hosted by Olivia Dreizen Howell, the co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry.

  1. Still Living Together During Your Divorce? Here Are the 4 Boundaries That Will Help You Survive It with Lisa Lisser

    5 hrs ago

    Still Living Together During Your Divorce? Here Are the 4 Boundaries That Will Help You Survive It with Lisa Lisser

    Nobody hands you a map for the in-between. You have decided to divorce — or you are circling the decision — and yet you are still sharing a kitchen, a hallway, maybe even a bedroom with the person you are in the biggest conflict of your life with. It is one of the most common and least talked-about chapters of the divorce journey, and in this grounding episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with divorce coach Lisa Lisser to name it out loud. Lisa is a retired attorney who practiced litigation in New York City, a CDC Certified Divorce Coach and child-centered co-parenting coach, a Jewish educator, a spiritual counselor, and the founder of LZL Coaching — and she is also a divorced mom of three who lived this exact season herself. She calls it the in-between: the narrow, uncertain space between being a married couple and being two separate people. “It is wanting certainty while living in uncertainty,” she says — and if you are cohabitating during divorce right now, you already know exactly how tight that jacket feels. What makes this conversation so useful is that Lisa does not leave you in the discomfort — she hands you a structure. She walks Olivia through four boundaries that help everyone in the household breathe: physical, parenting, financial, and emotional. The physical boundary is permission to claim your own space, whether that is a bedroom, a family room, or a corner of the basement, and her reframe lands hard: creating that space is not punishment, it is agency. You do not need anyone’s permission to exhale, to cry, to research, to simply close a door. The parenting boundary is a clear, child-readable schedule — who drives, who packs lunch, who handles pickup — because kids feel the weight of a changing house even when no one is fighting in front of them, and predictability is how they stay anchored. Threaded through it all is one of Lisa’s most tender insights, shared from her own honest hindsight: your children have the right to love both of you, and protecting them from the details is its own act of love. The financial boundary is about building a blueprint before anyone gets blindsided — agreeing on who pays what, who funds the account, and how the household runs while you are still under one roof — because, as Lisa puts it, divorce creates uncertainty, uncertainty creates anxiety, and money magnifies both. And the emotional boundary may be the one that ties it all together: when the person who used to be your support system is now the source of the stress, you have to build a new team. A coach, a therapist, a support group, the friends who can hold your story without a stake in it. Olivia and Lisa land on the throughline of the whole show — that the strongest, bravest thing you can do is ask for help, and that divorce was never meant to be carried alone. If you are surviving the in-between right now, this episode is a deep exhale and a real plan: gentle, pragmatic, and full of permission to get outside the box you have been living in. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    20 min
  2. 16 hrs ago

    The Slow Erosion: How Long-Term Marriages Can Make You Forget Who You Are with Olivia Howell

    You look up one day and realize you have no idea who you are anymore. Not because of one dramatic event. Not because of obvious abuse or a single catastrophic betrayal. Just because of time — accumulated compromise, the slow drift of putting someone else's needs, preferences, and comfort at the center of your life for so long that your own self quietly went missing. In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell names something that gets almost no airtime in the divorce conversation: the slow erosion of self that can happen inside a long-term marriage. If you've ever stood in front of the mirror and not recognized the person looking back, this episode is for you. Here's the part that makes this kind of self-loss so hard to catch: it doesn't start as erosion — it starts as love. You meet someone, you build a life, you compromise, because that's what people in relationships do. You shape yourself around their schedule, their moods, their preferences. Maybe you move for their career and scale back your own. Maybe you stop seeing certain friends, start ordering what they like, watching what they want, going where they choose. Slowly, in ways so small they're almost invisible, you begin to disappear — and it rarely feels like loss while it's happening. It feels like being a good partner. Like flexibility. Like keeping the peace. Like love, because so many of us were taught that love means putting someone else first and that wanting things for yourself is selfish. So you keep going, and the longer the marriage, the deeper the erosion can go. By the time many people reach divorce after a long marriage, they don't just feel sad or angry or relieved — they feel disoriented. They can't answer basic questions about themselves anymore: What do I like? What do I want? What music do I actually enjoy when no one else is in the car? Those questions feel trivial. They are not. Olivia reframes them as the beginning of coming back to yourself. The most important truth in this episode is also the most freeing: losing yourself in a marriage does not mean you were weak or foolish. It means you were human, you loved someone, and you adapted — the way people do in long-term relationships. The real problem isn't that you compromised; it's when the compromising only ever went one direction, when you were the one who kept shrinking and accommodating while the relationship never asked the same in return. Naming that isn't about blame — it's about understanding what actually happened so you can consciously choose differently. And coming back to yourself starts genuinely small: noticing your own preferences again and taking them seriously, making one decision a day based purely on what you want, reconnecting with a hobby or friendship or part of your personality that went quiet. Sometimes it starts with grief and even anger over the years spent making yourself smaller — and that's not bitterness, it's reclamation. If you're navigating a long-term or gray divorce and wondering how to find yourself again, hold on to this: you were always in there. You just got buried for a while — and the fact that you're asking these questions means you're already on your way back. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    7 min
  3. 3d ago

    What to Say to a Friend Going Through Divorce (When You Don't Know What to Say) with Olivia Howell

    Someone you love is going through a divorce, and you want to show up for them — you just have no idea how. This episode of Divorce Happens is for you: the friends, the sisters, the coworkers, and the neighbors who found out and froze, terrified of saying the wrong thing. Olivia Howell flips the usual script and talks not to the person in the divorce, but to the people who love them — and she opens with a relief so many supporters need to hear: the fact that you're even asking how to help already puts you ahead. The people who do the most damage aren't the ones who fumble their words; they're the ones who say nothing at all, who disappear because they're uncomfortable. If you're here trying to figure out how to support a friend going through divorce, you're already doing something right. The heart of this episode is a single freeing truth: you do not need the perfect words. When someone we love is in pain, we want to say the thing that fixes it — but divorce grief isn't fixable with words, and your friend doesn't need a solution. They need to feel less alone, and that's something you can give without having a single right answer. Olivia shares the simplest, most underused, most powerful sentence there is: “I don't know what to say, but I'm not going anywhere.” For someone whose deepest fear right now is being abandoned — by their partner, their social circle, the whole life they built — knowing you are not one of the people leaving is worth more than any advice. She's equally clear about what not to say: skip “I never liked them anyway” (it complicates their pain instead of validating it), skip “everything happens for a reason” and “you'll be so much better off” (true or not, it rushes them past grief they haven't finished feeling), and please don't make it about you — this is their moment to be held, not yours to fill. From there, Olivia gets refreshingly practical about what real support looks like. It looks like specificity — not “let me know if you need anything,” which dumps the burden back on someone running on empty, but “I'm bringing dinner Thursday, does six work?” It looks like consistency over time: everyone shows up the first week, but the loneliness is often loudest at the 30-day mark, the 90-day mark, and on what would have been their anniversary — so check in when the noise dies down. It looks like following their lead, asking whether they want to talk about it tonight or just eat takeout and watch something, and honoring whichever they need. And sometimes it's as simple as telling them: you are doing an incredible job, your kids are lucky to have you, and I see how hard you're working. Because being truly seen by even one person can make a brutal day survivable. The takeaway is one anyone can act on today: you don't have to have the right words — you just have to show up, again and again. That is what friendship looks like in the hard seasons, and it is enough. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    7 min
  4. 3d ago

    Divorce Grief Doesn't Follow the Rules — And That Doesn't Mean Something's Wrong With You with Olivia Howell

    Divorce grief might be the most misunderstood, most minimized, and most complicated grief there is — and the thing almost no one warns you about is that it doesn't follow the rules. In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell takes on the quiet, disorienting experience of grieving a divorce: why it refuses to behave the way we expect grief to behave, and why that can make you feel like something is wrong with you when absolutely nothing is. We're all handed some version of the stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance — and we absorb the idea that grief has a shape, a direction, a tidy end. Divorce grief doesn't move like that. And as Olivia gently insists, the sooner we stop expecting it to, the more compassion we can offer ourselves when it doesn't. What makes divorce grief so different starts with a wrenching truth: you are grieving someone who is still alive. There's no funeral. There's no casserole on the doorstep. There's no moment where the world stops to acknowledge that you've lost something enormous — in fact, the person you're grieving might be texting you about the electric bill or showing up at Saturday's soccer game. That's disenfranchised grief: real, profound, life-altering loss that goes socially unrecognized, and it has its own particular ache. Layered on top is that you're not grieving one thing but many at once — the person, the relationship, the future you imagined, your identity as a spouse, your home, your finances, your in-laws, your friendships. Each is its own loss, and they arrive in waves: sometimes one at a time, sometimes all at once, sometimes out of nowhere. Which leads to the part that ambushes people most — divorce grief is not linear. You can feel fine for two weeks, then hear a song in a grocery store and be undone. You can reach what feels like acceptance and get hit with rage six months later. You can grieve the end of a marriage you desperately wanted out of, miss someone you know was wrong for you, and feel relieved and devastated in the same hour. All of it is normal. All of it is grief doing what grief actually does. The mindset shift at the heart of this episode is freeing: instead of something you move through in stages, picture grief as something that moves through you — in waves, on its own timeline, without asking permission. Your job isn't to manage it perfectly or to reach acceptance on schedule; it's to let it move, to not dam it up so tightly it has nowhere to go. Practically, that looks like letting yourself cry in the car, refusing to perform okayness for people who can't hold your grief, and finding at least one person or one space where you don't have to edit yourself. It also means being patient on the days you thought you were over something and discover you're not — that's not regression or failure, just the layered nature of this particular loss. If you're walking through divorce recovery, healing after divorce, or simply trying to make sense of why you still hurt, hold on to this: you don't have to be over it yet. You don't have to be anywhere other than exactly where you are. Grief is not a problem to be solved — it's love with nowhere to go, and it deserves your tenderness. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    6 min
  5. Before You File for Divorce, Do These 5 Things — A Divorce Expert's Guide to Starting on Solid Ground with Ron Platt, founder of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families

    4d ago

    Before You File for Divorce, Do These 5 Things — A Divorce Expert's Guide to Starting on Solid Ground with Ron Platt, founder of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families

    No one hands you a roadmap when your marriage ends. You're expected to make some of the biggest legal, financial, and emotional decisions of your life at the exact moment you have the least capacity to make them — and most of us walk in completely unprepared. That's the gap Ron Platt set out to close. In this practical, reassuring episode of Divorce Happens, we hear from Ron Platt, co-founder and CEO of NASDF — the National Association for Single and Divorced Families — for five fresh, foundational tips to help you prepare for divorce and walk out the other side standing on steadier ground. With more than 35 years across insurance, real estate, and social advocacy, and lived experience as a foster parent who later adopted his son, Ron built NASDF to be the resource he wished every divorcing family had: an umbrella of vetted support, services, and community for people before, during, and long after the paperwork is signed. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    4 min
  6. 4d ago

    Crying in the Car, Then Making Dinner: The Quiet Place Before Divorce No One Warns You About with Olivia Howell

    You already know. You just aren't ready to say it out loud yet. If you're living in that quiet, heavy, terrifying place — the one where the knowledge sits in your chest and doesn't go away — this solo episode of Divorce Happens was made for you. Olivia Howell names one of the most common and least talked-about experiences in the entire divorce process: the in-between space before anything is official, before anyone else knows, before you've even fully admitted it to yourself. It's Googling at midnight and clearing your history. It's crying in the car and then walking inside to make dinner like nothing happened. It's knowing and not-knowing at the same time, because fully knowing would mean having to do something — and you're not there yet. Olivia says the thing so many people carry in silence out loud: that space is real, and it deserves to be taken seriously. From there, the episode does the gentle, necessary work of separating two things we tend to confuse — knowing your marriage is over, and being ready to leave. So many people walking through divorce say they knew long before they spoke, sometimes for months, sometimes for years, and they carry deep shame about that gap, as if staying after they knew makes them weak, dishonest, or complicit in their own unhappiness. Olivia pushes back on that hard. Knowing is not the same as being ready, and being ready takes time for reasons that are completely legitimate: waiting until the kids are older, until the finances are steadier, until enough therapy has helped you trust what you feel. The reframe at the heart of this episode is that the waiting is not wasted. In that in-between place your nervous system is preparing and your mind is quietly building the architecture of a different life. The gap between knowing and saying isn't a failure — for most people, it's a necessary part of the process. The episode also names something tender but important: there's a version of “not ready” that is a season, and a version that becomes a cage — and only you know which one you're in. If the weight is starting to crush you, if you're disappearing inside your own life, that's worth paying attention to, not because you have to act today, but because you deserve support in that place, not just solitude. The actionable takeaway is freeing: telling one trusted person, a therapist, or a divorce coach doesn't commit you to anything. It simply means you're not carrying it completely alone anymore — and there is real relief in that, even before anything changes. If you're contemplating divorce, deciding whether to leave, or just beginning to imagine starting over after divorce, this is your reminder that you are not behind, not broken, and not failing your family. You are moving at the pace that feels survivable to you. And when you're ready — tomorrow or two years from now — the words will come. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    7 min
  7. Rebuilding Your Identity (and Your Finances) After Divorce With Bridget Borel, CFP®, CDFA®

    Jun 20

    Rebuilding Your Identity (and Your Finances) After Divorce With Bridget Borel, CFP®, CDFA®

    There’s a strange, in-between place that almost no one warns you about when your marriage ends. You’re no longer who you were — but you’re not yet who you’re becoming. As one therapist put it to this week’s guest during her own divorce, you’re “somewhere in between.” In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell sits down with Fresh Starts expert Bridget Borel, CFP®, CDFA® — a Certified Financial Planner, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and founder of Clairwell Financial Planning — to talk about the identity shift at the heart of divorce, and how to rebuild not just your bank account, but your sense of self. Bridget brings a rare double lens to the conversation: she has lived this transition personally and now guides clients through it professionally, which means she speaks about the rattling, disorienting middle of divorce with both clinical clarity and genuine warmth. What makes this conversation land is Bridget’s refusal to sugarcoat paired with her stubborn hope. She tells new clients the truth — it’s going to hurt, and it’s going to take longer than you think it should — and then she holds the other half just as firmly: it won’t last forever, you will get through this, and you don’t have to do it alone. She describes the “arc of the divorce experience,” watching clients move from the raw, emotional early days to suddenly booking an adventure trip or launching a business once the dust settles. The takeaway for listeners is both a mindset and a method: you are allowed to become a new person, and you can get there in baby steps — one new skill, one small financial win, one healthier conversation at a time. Whether you’re considering divorce, in the thick of it, or rebuilding on the other side, this is a grounding, hopeful listen about financial confidence, rediscovering your identity, and truly starting over after divorce. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    12 min
  8. How to Use AI to Prepare for Divorce: Smarter Prep, Lower Costs & Walking In Ready with Ryan Carson

    Jun 20

    How to Use AI to Prepare for Divorce: Smarter Prep, Lower Costs & Walking In Ready with Ryan Carson

    The divorce process is one of the most life-changing things a person can go through — and somehow it’s still one of the most chaotic, confusing, and expensive. That’s exactly the problem that pulled tech founder Ryan Carson off the sidelines. A serial entrepreneur with 25 years in the tech world and three companies behind him, Ryan watched two of his three sisters — the people he calls his best friends — walk into brutal, costly divorces with almost no guidance except an attorney and a stack of baffling forms. Having grown up a child of divorce himself, he found it shocking how old-fashioned and disorganized the whole process still was. So he did what builders do: he started reading every divorce book in the library and asked a simple question — could technology and AI make this more humane and far more affordable without taking the humans out of it? The answer became Untangle, the AI divorce assistant, and the wisdom he’s gathered building it is the heart of this episode. What makes this conversation genuinely useful is how practical Ryan gets. He’s candid that Untangle pivoted — it started as a low-cost guide for people representing themselves and now powers the discovery process for law firms through its AI agent, “Grace” — but he hasn’t stopped caring about the person sitting at the kitchen table at midnight, terrified and overwhelmed. His advice for anyone navigating divorce is refreshingly concrete: treat AI as a new tool in your divorce toolbox. “This is like the internet in 1999,” he tells Olivia — something everyone is going to learn to use. Pick an assistant you’re comfortable with, pay the modest monthly fee for the smarter models, and start using it to prepare: ask what financial documents you should be gathering, get plain-English definitions for the confusing legal and Latin terms in your paperwork, and surface the questions you didn’t even know to ask. The crucial caveat he repeats is one every listener should hear: you can’t trust AI out of the box for the correct forms or numbers — it’s a guide that helps you walk into your attorney or divorce coach better prepared, not a replacement for professional advice. Underneath the tech talk, this episode is really a love letter from a brother. When Olivia asks for his words of encouragement, Ryan doesn’t reach for a product pitch — he thinks about his sisters. He watched them go through the hardest seasons of their lives, and he’s watched them come out the other side happier, healthier, more successful, and, in his words, even more alive. “They made it,” he says, “and you will get there.” That’s the mindset shift this episode offers: you don’t have to walk into divorce unarmed or alone, and the version of your life waiting on the other side can be brighter than the one you’re leaving. The takeaways are simple and immediately usable — lean on AI to prepare and ask better questions, gather your financial picture before you need it, and remember that knowledge and the right tools turn an overwhelming process into something survivable. For listeners in Connecticut (and the attorneys who serve them), Untangle is at untangle.us. For everyone else, the encouragement travels just fine: turn the lemon into lemonade, one tool at a time. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry: The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/ 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry 🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/ 📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

    13 min

Trailers

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Welcome to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we inspire, educate, and support you through divorce and beyond so that you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Produced by Fresh Starts Registry, the only divorce registry platform for everything you need to begin again, including home items, hype team, and everything in between. Remember, divorce happens...and then, we start fresh. We're here to support you before, during, and after divorce. Hosted by Olivia Dreizen Howell, the co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry.

More From Fresh Starts

You Might Also Like