Freedom Pact | Joseph and Lewis

Freedom Pact Podcast | Joseph and Lewis

Better ideas create better lives. Freedom Pact is in pursuit of human potential. Through long-form conversations with leading scientists, philosophers, clinicians, economists, authors and innovators, each episode explores the ideas and discoveries that help us think more clearly, understand ourselves more deeply, and build a better future. Past guests include: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Andrew Huberman, Robert Greene, Richard J. Davidson, Paul Bloom, Peter Singer, Anna Lembke, Bessel van der Kolk, Iain McGilchrist, Daniel Goleman, Shawn Achor, Wendy Suzuki and Robert Sapolsky.

  1. 3d ago

    #430: Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky - Why Success Won’t Make You Feel Loved

    Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky is one of the world’s leading scientific authorities on happiness and human flourishing. A Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside, she has spent nearly four decades investigating what makes people happy, how well-being can be sustainably improved, and why our relationships matter so profoundly. Her influential research has helped establish the modern science of happiness, bridging rigorous experimental psychology with questions at the heart of human life: how we connect, how we love, and how we build lives of meaning and well-being. She is the author of several internationally recognised books, including The How of Happiness and, most recently, How to Feel Loved. We spend enormous amounts of time trying to become more lovable, more successful, attractive, accomplished and impressive, yet these qualities may earn us admiration without making us feel genuinely loved. That is the paradox at the heart of this episode. That is, you can be loved by the people around you and still struggle to experience that love. This matters because research has consistently shown that the quality of our relationships is one of the strongest foundations of happiness, yet many of the strategies we use to secure connection may inadvertently keep people at a distance. Sonja Lyubomirsky explains what decades of psychological research can teach us about closing this gap. This includes; how to become genuinely known rather than merely admired, listen in ways that make people feel seen, use curiosity to deepen connection, navigate vulnerability without oversharing, and ultimately change the everyday conversations through which love is given, received and felt. Timestamps: 00:00 — Why can we be loved but not feel loved? 03:26 — Why relationships are the key to happiness 05:58 — The danger of trying to become more lovable 08:13 — Is self-improvement a form of emotional avoidance? 09:25 — Why success and admiration cannot create connection 11:28 — The barriers we build against love 12:45 — Are successful people more vulnerable to the “lovability trap”? 14:21 — What makes someone feel truly seen? 15:52 — The relationship seesaw 18:38 — Why small bids for connection matter 20:24 — The power of radical curiosity 22:32 — Questions that create deeper conversations 24:50 — How to recognise genuine curiosity 26:07 — Psychological safety in relationships 26:42 — How to listen to learn 28:08 — Why giving advice can get in the way 30:42 — The power of “Tell me more” 31:24 — Vulnerability without oversharing 34:47 — Does vulnerability create trust? 36:22 — Can relationships heal heartbreak? 38:06 — Loving the whole, complicated person 40:56 — Is love about truly understanding someone? 42:09 — How our past can prevent us from receiving love 43:23 — What if you fundamentally believe you are unlovable? 45:11 — How parents can make children feel loved 47:31 — Can AI make us feel more loved than humans? 50:01 — What humans can offer that AI cannot Connect with Sonja: How to Feel Loved Book - https://howtofeelloved.com 5 Mindsets Quiz: https://tally.so/r/Pd1l0d Website: https://sonjalyubomirsky.com Academic work: https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=CNFj4ZsAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao

  2. Aug 2

    #429: Professor George Bonanno - The End of Trauma

    Professor George A. Bonanno is Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University and one of the world's leading researchers on trauma, bereavement and psychological resilience. Over the past three decades, his research has challenged long-standing assumptions about how people respond to adversity, showing that resilience is often the most common outcome following bereavement, disaster and other potentially traumatic events. His work has had a major influence on research into trauma, grief, resilience and psychological adaptation.In this conversation, we explore why most people recover after adversity, why trauma is not synonymous with the event itself, and how popular ideas about grief, hidden trauma and resilience often diverge from the evidence. George explains the four trajectories of recovery, the limitations of resilience questionnaires, why there is no universal "right" way to cope, and introduces his research on psychological flexibility as the key to adaptation. We also discuss The Body Keeps the Score, the Five Stages of Grief, why averages can mislead psychological science, how clinicians can avoid inadvertently causing harm, and what future generations may find hardest to believe about today's understanding of mental health.00:00 – Introduction01:57 – Why psychology became fascinated by trauma03:55 – Why "potentially traumatic event" changes everything08:20 – The four trajectories of recovery11:30 – Supporting people without assuming damage14:12 – The truth about the Five Stages of Grief22:10 – Hidden trauma, concept creep & The Body Keeps the Score27:59 – Why averages can mislead psychology31:00 – Discovering resilience through longitudinal research38:15 – What measuring people before adversity revealed42:59 – The resilience paradox50:45 – Why resilience questionnaires don't measure resilience54:11 – There is no universally healthy coping strategy58:08 – When avoidance is actually adaptive59:37 – What future psychologists will think we got wrongConnect with us: https://freedompact.co.uk/newsletter​ (Healthy, Wealthy & Wise Newsletter)https://www.Instagram.com/freedompactpodhttps://www.twitter.com/freedompactpod Email: freedompact@gmail.com (business enquiries, guest suggestions, appreciation, feedback, and anything else)Connect with George:https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=biNsmj8AAAAJ&hl=en (George's publications)https://sites.google.com/view/georgeabonanno?usp=sharing (George's website)Buy The End of Trauma: (https://sites.google.com/view/georgeabonanno/books/the-end-of-trauma?authuser=0) Please note: we do not receive any commission from book sales and are not affiliated with the publisher or author beyond hosting this conversation.Disclaimer: The Freedom Pact Podcast is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to constitute, nor should it be relied upon as, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. Listeners should not disregard, delay, or substitute professional medical advice because of information discussed on the podcast or associated materials.

  3. Jul 27

    #428: Professor Paul Gilbert - How Evolution Made Us Vulnerable to Ourselves

    Professor Paul Gilbert is a Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby, a Visiting Professor at the University of Queensland, and the founder of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). For more than 40 years, he has combined research into the evolutionary foundations of mental health with clinical work as a Consultant Clinical Psychologist. He also founded the Compassionate Mind Foundation in 2006 to promote the scientific understanding and application of compassion. Professor Gilbert is regarded as one of the world's leading authorities on compassion, shame, self-criticism and mental wellbeing. In this conversation, we explore the evolutionary origins of the human mind, why we suffer psychologically, the science of compassion, consciousness, intelligence, shame, self-compassion, and what modern psychology still needs to understand about the human condition. 00:00 – What Is the Human Mind Actually For? 10:12 – Why Can Humans End Up Hating Themselves 16:56 – Have We Underestimated How Social the Human Mind Is? 20:26 – Is Modern Life Mismatched to the Human Brain? 25:52 – Why Mental Health Depends on Psychological Flexibility 31:15 – Does Greater Intelligence Mean Greater Suffering? 33:15 – Is Consciousness Inherently Painful? 38:29 – The Evolutionary Origins of Shame 44:10 – What Compassion Really Is (It's Not Just Kindness) 54:06 – Can Compassion Defeat Hatred? 58:43 – Why Self-Compassion Is So Difficult 1:06:18 – What Future Psychologists Must Understand About the Mind Connect with us: https://freedompact.co.uk/newsletter​ (Healthy, Wealthy & Wise Newsletter) https://www.Instagram.com/freedompactpod https://www.twitter.com/freedompactpod Email: freedompact@gmail.com (business enquiries, guest suggestions, appreciation, feedback, and anything else) Resources from Professor Paul Gilbert: The Compassionate Mind Foundation: The Compassionate Mind Foundation promotes the scientific understanding and practical application of compassion to improve mental health and wellbeing. It offers workshops, training, educational resources and information about Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk** Support the Compassionate Mind Foundation**If you found this conversation valuable, please consider supporting the Foundation's work through a donation: https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/donationLearn more about Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) Evolution and Compassion Focused Therapy: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586161/full The Evolution of Care and Share versus Control and Holdhttps://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.582090/full Evolution-Informed Compassion-Focused Therapy and Buddhist Approaches to Insight Meditation https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12671-023-02141-4 Meta-analysis of Compassion Focused Therapy: Petrocchi et al. (2023): *The Impact of Compassion Focused Therapy on Positive and Negative Mental Health Outcomes. Professor Paul Gilbert's Talks: Creating a Compassionate World: https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/creating-a-compassionate-world Evolutionary Foundations of Compassion Focused Therapy (Royal College of Psychiatrists)https://youtu.be/swwFEKWoxHg A Disorder for Everyone (AD4E): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ufp2FxoFhYQ&feature=youtu.beAdditional Resources: The Voices Withinhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRqI4lxuXAwOpen-access paperhttps://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00152/full

  4. Jul 8

    #426: Dr. Caroline Leaf - Why We Need to Rethink Anxiety, Depression & Mental Health

    Dr. Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist, mental health researcher and bestselling author. With over 40 years of experience studying the mind brain connection, she challenges conventional approaches to mental health and helps people understand how thoughts shape wellbeing. In this episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf explores whether we've accidentally medicalised normal human emotions, why anxiety and depression should be viewed as signals rather than illnesses, and how understanding our personal stories is key to healing. She discusses the dangers of self diagnosis, the "TikTokification" of mental health, the impact of social media on young minds, why labels can limit growth, the science behind neuroplasticity, and how our thoughts influence both brain and body. The conversation also examines suffering, resilience, self belief, and why true healing comes from understanding, not suppressing, our emotional experiences. Timestamps: 00:00 Have We Medicalised Being Human? 01:16 Why Symptoms Are Signals, Not Enemies 06:24 The Biggest Mistake in Mental Health Treatment 08:30 The Danger of Romanticising Suffering 12:44 Is Depression Always Trying to Tell You Something? 14:30 The TikTokification of Mental Health 18:20 Why We Need Labels to Explain Ourselves 21:59 Should Social Media Be Banned for Children? 28:48 Can Your Thoughts Really Change Reality? 42:22 Do Successful People Win Because of Their Insecurities? 46:01 Why We Must Stop Romanticising Suffering & Suicide 47:19 Where to Find Dr. Caroline Leaf DISCLAIMER: The content provided by the Freedom Pact Podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Our content is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on our social media or other platforms. Important: Please note: If you are currently prescribed antidepressants or other psychiatric medication, it is essential that you do not alter your dosage or discontinue use without first speaking to a suitably qualified healthcare professional. Stopping or changing medication without proper support may result in significant withdrawal effects. Always consult a medical expert before making any adjustments to your treatment plan.

  5. Jun 28

    #425: Robert Greene - The Truth About Power, Seduction & Mastery

    Robert Greene is one of the world's most influential thinkers on power, human nature, mastery and psychology. He is the bestselling author of The 48 Laws of Power, The Laws of Human Nature, Mastery and The Art of Seduction and his work has shaped everyone from world leaders and CEOs to elite athletes and artists. In this conversation, Robert explores the patterns that quietly shape our lives, from human nature and mastery to power, purpose and seduction. Drawing on decades of studying history, psychology and some of the world's highest performers, he offers a way of thinking that is as practical as it is timeless. Timestamps: 00:00 Why Human Nature Never Changes 03:30 The Hidden Cost of Becoming Powerful 05:47 The #1 Reason People Lose Power 08:36 The Brutal Mindset That Changes Everything 11:02 The Hardest Person You'll Ever Master 17:22 Why Most People Never Become Exceptional 20:49 How to Find Your Life's Purpose 25:35 Why So Many Young People Feel Lost 30:43 The Childhood Clues to Your Destiny 37:17 Why Failure Is the Price of Greatness 41:53 What Mastery Really Costs 46:29 Why Modern Dating Is Broken 50:18 The Problem With Radical Honesty 53:48 Why "Being Yourself" Is Bad Advice 56:03 The Biggest Mistake People Make With Seduction 57:56 The Psychology of Charisma 1:01:37 What Cleopatra Knew About Human Nature 1:09:05 The Success Trap Nobody Talks About 1:12:06 How to Build a Life You're Proud Of 1:14:10 Robert Greene on Surviving a Stroke 1:18:24 The Advice That Changed Robert Greene's Life 1:23:26 What 50 Cent Understood About Power 1:30:31 Robert Greene's Advice for Your 30s 1:34:32 Why This Decade Will Create New Winners 1:36:22 The Sublime 1:40:44 Final Thoughts Connect with us: https://freedompact.co.uk/newsletter​ (Healthy, Wealthy & Wise Newsletter) https://www.Instagram.com/freedompact https://www.twitter.com/freedompactpod Email: freedompact@gmail.com (business enquiries, guest suggestions, appreciation, feedback, and anything else!)

  6. Jun 21

    #424: Angelo Somers - The Hidden Motivations Behind Everything We Do

    Angelo Somers is a writer, creator and thinker whose work explores psychology, meaning, self-development and the hidden forces that shape human behaviour. In this conversation, we explore a question that sits beneath many of life's biggest decisions: what is actually driving us? We discuss whether success can be built on the wrong motivations, why insecurity can be a powerful source of ambition, and what happens when the fears that once fuelled you begin to disappear. We touch on memetic desire, Jung's concept of the Self, authenticity, purpose, suffering, self-improvement and the search for meaning. We also examine why people become attached to their pain, whether modern society has confused suffering with virtue, and why self-awareness can sometimes become self-consciousness in disguise. 00:00 The Limits Of Self-Knowledge 02:57 Can A Good Life Be Built On The Wrong Reasons? 06:12 What If Your Insecurities Made You Successful? 08:40 When Truth Becomes A Tyrant 12:02 Are Your Desires Actually Yours? 15:12 Can You Ruin A Desire By Questioning It? 17:15 Are We Driven By Love Or Fear? 20:49 Can Purpose Be Self-Deception? 24:23 Have We Confused Suffering With Virtue? 28:17 Why Suffering Seems More Admirable Than Joy 30:57 Why People Become Attached To Their Pain 32:33 Has Modern Life Really Reduced Suffering? 34:41 When Self-Improvement Becomes Self-Obsession 38:08 Can Too Much Self-Awareness Hurt You? 42:41 Stop Chasing Destinations 45:08 What Makes Life Worth Living? 46:53 Where Curiosity Comes From 48:54 Where To Find Angelo Connect with us: https://freedompact.co.uk/newsletter​ (Healthy, Wealthy & Wise Newsletter) https://www.Instagram.com/freedompact https://www.twitter.com/freedompactpod Email: freedompact@gmail.com (business enquiries, guest suggestions, appreciation, feedback, and anything else!) https://Tiktok.com/personaldevelopment

  7. Jun 14

    #423: Shawn Achor (Positive Psychologist) - The Beliefs That Secretly Shape Your Life

    Shawn Achor is a Harvard-trained positive psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and one of the world's leading researchers on happiness and human potential. In this conversation, we explore why beliefs may be far more powerful than we realise, how they shape perception before we are even aware of them, and why some people continue to find possibility when the odds seem stacked against them. Shawn explains why AI can calculate probabilities but can never believe you'll beat them, how social support literally changes the way we see challenges, and why the most dangerous belief a person can hold is that their behaviour doesn't matter. We also discuss the surprising science behind placebo effects, trauma, ageing, loneliness, meaning, religion, Michael Jordan's rituals, Roger Bannister's four-minute mile, fake surgery studies, why modern life can leave us untethered, and the profound role beliefs play in shaping the trajectory of our lives. This was one of the most thought-provoking conversations we've ever had, and I hope you enjoy it. Timestamps: 00:00 – Why Is Changing Ourselves So Difficult? 01:59 – AI Can Predict the Odds, But It Can't Believe You'll Beat Them 03:20 – Why Probability Masks Possibility 04:02 – Richard Wiseman's Luck Experiment 06:17 – Can Belief Really Change Reality? 07:15 – The Limits of Belief 08:45 – Roger Bannister and the Four-Minute Mile 09:55 – Stereotype Threat and Human Performance 11:03 – Michael Jordan's Shorts and Serena Williams' Socks 14:12 – What Is a Belief? 16:35 – How Are Beliefs Formed? 17:00 – The Hill Study: Why Support Changes Perception 18:20 – How Modern Life Teaches Us That Our Behaviour Doesn't Matter 19:00 – How Memories Shape Beliefs 20:42 – ADHD, Identity and Educational Outcomes 22:17 – Dangerous Beliefs and Sweeping Generalisations 23:02 – Yale's Remarkable Study on Ageing 26:12 – Do People Change Through Evidence or Experience? 28:00 – Trauma Doesn't Determine Your Future 31:00 – Why We Forget Our Strength 34:16 – The Five Candles Ritual 38:24 – Navy SEAL Training, Exposure Therapy and Perspective 40:46 – Placebos, Fake Surgery and the Power of Belief 45:57 – Why Beliefs Are Becoming More Powerful 46:49 – The Nocebo Effect 48:00 – Burnout, Anxiety, Loneliness and Depression 50:12 – The Great Drift: Why Modern Life Feels Meaningless 53:00 – Shared Texts and the Need for Collective Meaning 55:49 – "Don't Waste Your Money Applying to Harvard" 58:42 – Why Probability Should Never Eliminate Possibility 1:01:22 – The Most Dangerous Belief You Can Hold 1:03:45 – Is There Something Greater Than Us? 1:06:04 – The Message Shawn Achor Would Put on a Billboard 1:08:06 – Why We Should Read Books Together 1:09:19 – Final Thoughts Connect with Shawn: https://www.shawnachor.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/shawnachor/ https://www.instagram.com/shawnachor/ Connect with us: https://freedompact.co.uk/newsletter​ (Healthy, Wealthy & Wise Newsletter)https://www.Instagram.com/freedompacthttps://www.twitter.com/freedompactpod Email: freedompact@gmail.com (business enquiries, guest suggestions, appreciation, feedback, and anything else!)https://Tiktok.com/personaldevelopment Disclaimer: The Freedom Pact Podcast is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to constitute, nor should it be relied upon as, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. Listeners should not disregard, delay, or substitute professional medical advice because of information discussed on the podcast or associated materials.

4.5
out of 5
26 Ratings

About

Better ideas create better lives. Freedom Pact is in pursuit of human potential. Through long-form conversations with leading scientists, philosophers, clinicians, economists, authors and innovators, each episode explores the ideas and discoveries that help us think more clearly, understand ourselves more deeply, and build a better future. Past guests include: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Andrew Huberman, Robert Greene, Richard J. Davidson, Paul Bloom, Peter Singer, Anna Lembke, Bessel van der Kolk, Iain McGilchrist, Daniel Goleman, Shawn Achor, Wendy Suzuki and Robert Sapolsky.

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