How To Love Yourself No Matter What

Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
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You’re trying so hard to make life work… and it still feels like something’s missing. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, taken the advice — but somehow, you’re still stuck. You’re smart, capable, and self-aware, yet you can’t shake the feeling you’re surviving instead of living. This podcast is for deep-feeling women who are done holding it all together and ready to finally feel at home in their own skin. Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares honest coaching, personal stories, and practical tools to help you: Get out of your head and into your life Stop managing your emotions like a full-time job Build self-trust that lasts Live on your terms — without apology If you’ve ever felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time, you’ll hear yourself in every episode — and discover how to love yourself no matter what. 📅 New episodes every Thursday.

  1. 4D AGO

    303. The Real Reason Adult Friendships Feel So Hard

    Many women say they want deeper friendships. They want their people — the women they can laugh with, text, and go for coffee or brunch with. But there’s a hidden pattern that quietly blocks connection. When we walk into rooms believing that nobody likes us, we become hyper-focused on ourselves — how we’re being perceived, whether we’re awkward, whether we said the wrong thing. And when our attention is turned inward like that, it becomes almost impossible to actually connect with someone else. Real friendship doesn’t grow out of self-consciousness or performance. It grows out of curiosity, generosity, and genuine interest in another person. In this episode, I talk about the mindset patterns that make adult friendship harder than it needs to be — and what actually creates meaningful connection. I also share the simple framework I use with my coaching clients to understand how friendships develop over time and why so many women unintentionally put pressure on the wrong relationships. If you’ve ever felt like everyone else has friends except you, or like making friends as an adult feels confusing or exhausting, this episode will help you see what’s really going on — and how to start approaching connection in a healthier, more empowering way. In This Episode We Talk AboutWhy believing “nobody likes me” makes connection almost impossibleHow insecurity creates self-focus that blocks real friendshipThe difference between collecting friends and building relationshipsWhy adult friendships feel harder than friendships earlier in lifeThe three “friendship buckets” that explain how friendships actually formWhy putting pressure on a few people to become your friends often backfiresThe importance of growing your self-relationship so friendships can form naturallyHow vulnerability and invitations create opportunities for connectionWhy genuine curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for building friendships Key TakeawayFriendship isn’t something you acquire or secure. It’s something you build — one conversation, one interaction, and one genuine connection at a time. The question isn’t “Do they like me?” The real question is: “Am I showing up with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to connect?” Ready to Go Deeper?If you’re ready to work on your relationship with yourself — the foundation for every relationship in your life — you can book a discovery call with me. We'll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit. Book here: amandahess.ca/bookacall

    20 min

  2. FEB 26

    302. 50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 Lessons for Sensitive Women

    I turned 50 this week. And I’ll be honest — this birthday feels different. There’s awareness. There’s fear. There’s grief. And there’s a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties. In this episode, I’m starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive woman in 2026 — not just how to survive, but how to thrive. Today, I’m giving you the first 10. These are the foundational lessons — the ones about your nervous system, your emotions, your responsibility, and your capacity. Because if you don’t understand how you’re wired, you will misunderstand your entire life. In This Episode, I Cover:Why sensitivity is not a flaw (even if it’s been treated like one)How your nervous system drives your reactionsWhy emotions are messengers — not problemsThe difference between regulation and suppressionWhy other people are not responsible for your feelingsHow to stop f*****g yourself overWhy joy must be cultivatedHow to move with fear instead of shrinking from itWhy friendship takes work (especially at midlife)What loving yourself actually requiresWhy focusing on what you want MORE of changes everything Key TakeawayBeing a sensitive woman in 2026 is not about hardening yourself. It’s about building emotional capacity. It’s about regulating your nervous system instead of reacting from it. It’s about becoming unwilling to betray yourself. Turning 50 hasn’t made me less sensitive. It’s made me more skilled. And skill changes everything. Continue the SeriesThis is Part 1 of a 5-part birthday series: 50 Things I Know at 50 About Being a Sensitive Woman in 2026 Stay tuned for Part 2 next week. Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

    17 min

  3. FEB 21

    301. The Missing Half of Emotional Wellness: Why Fixing Yourself Isn’t the Answer

    If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself for years… this episode might change everything. So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing: Getting rid of what’s wrong. The anxiety. The stress. The overthinking. The guilt. The burnout. The trauma. And while support matters, here’s what’s missing: You cannot build a thriving life by only trying to eliminate what hurts. In this episode, I’m teaching a core concept I walk my private clients through — the emotional teeter-totter — and why balance, not eradication, is the real goal. Because life is 50/50. Your brain is wired to scan for danger. And trying to remove every uncomfortable emotion will keep you stuck in survival mode. Instead, we need to learn how to build the other side. Joy. Pleasure. Excitement. Belonging. Desire. Purpose. When you intentionally build those, everything changes. ✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:Why “fixing yourself” can actually make you feel worseHow self-help sometimes overemphasizes what’s brokenThe 50/50 nature of emotional life (and why it’s normal)How your primitive brain keeps you in survival modeThe emotional teeter-totter analogy that explains everythingWhy eliminating stress isn’t the goalHow to build emotional capacity instead of avoidanceThe difference between tolerating emotions and processing themWhy creating joy is a skill (not a luxury)How doing hard, scary things on purpose builds empowermentWhy pleasure, excitement, and fulfillment are your responsibility 💛 The TruthYour life won’t feel better because you finally eliminate anxiety. It will feel better because you’ve learned how to: Feel anxiety without collapsingCreate joy on purposeBuild balance instead of chasing perfectionEmpower yourself emotionally You don’t need to become stress-free. You need to become emotionally stronger and more intentional about building what you want. 🌿 Want to Go Deeper?If this resonates and you want help applying this to your real life: 📍 Book a consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacall You don’t have to keep running on the “fixing” treadmill. 🎧 If You Loved This EpisodeShare it with someone who’s tired of trying to repair themselves. And if this podcast supports you, leaving a review helps more women find this work.

    17 min

  4. FEB 12

    300. Love Yourself No Matter What (My Most Important Message Yet)

    Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300. When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared: Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything. Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations. It’s about learning how to be safe with yourself. It’s about learning how to support yourself when you’re struggling… how to regulate your nervous system… how to stop spiraling into shame… and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else. In this episode, I’m walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life — even if you feel like you’ve tried everything. This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace. And if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is “wrong” with you… This episode is for you. ✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:Why self-love is still deeply misunderstoodThe difference between being loving vs. being permissiveWhy so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhaustedHow perfectionism and pressure keep you stuckMy personal rock bottom — and what I was told about myselfHow nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for “something wrong with you”Why learning to love yourself creates emotional safetyThe “abused puppy” metaphor that explains healing perfectlyHow self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiralingWhy your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourselfHow to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you don’t feel lovable) 💛 Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your life, I’d love to talk with you. 📍 Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall 🎧 Loved this Episode?If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review — it helps more women find this work and start healing too.

    22 min

  5. FEB 5

    299. Why You Don’t Feel Like You Belong (Even When You’re Included)

    Show notes coming soon

    14 min

  6. JAN 29

    298. Big Girls Do Cry

    I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters. I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too. In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We’ve been taught to feel shame or guilt when we cry, especially in front of other people, but that doesn’t mean crying is wrong. More often than not, it just means other people don’t have the tools to be with it. This is a conversation about sensitivity, emotion, and why big girls do cry — not because we’re weak, but because we feel deeply, we care, and we’re human. In This Episode, I Cover:Why I cry every day — and why that’s not a problemThe shame and guilt many women feel when they cry in front of othersWhy people try to fix crying instead of allowing itHow we’re taught that crying is inappropriate or “too much”Why crying isn’t manipulativeCrying as release, connection, and a non-aggressive expression of emotionA thought to try on: Big girls do cry — and I’m okay with myself when I do A question to sit with:What happens when I let myself cry without making it mean something has gone wrong? You don’t need to answer it — just notice the urge to stop it, explain it, apologize for it, or judge yourself for it. That noticing is the work. If this episode brought up relief, resistance, or confusion, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it by yourself. ✨ Come say hi on Instagram: @theamandahess I’d love to hear what this stirred for you — the real, unpolished version. If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you. I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice. Book a discovery call here: 👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call Stay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. I’ll see you next week. 💛

    5 min

  7. JAN 22

    297. How Sensitive Women Can Navigate Emotional Pain Without Losing Themselves

    Sensitive women feel deeply — and for many, emotional pain can feel overwhelming, unsafe, or impossible to sit with. There’s often a fear that if you really let yourself feel it, you’ll fall apart and won’t be able to recover. In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for sensitive and neurodivergent women — and why this has nothing to do with being fragile or broken. We explore how emotional overwhelm is actually a capacity issue, not a personal flaw, and how many of the ways we’ve learned to cope with emotion are protective — but ultimately keep us stuck. This is an honest conversation about emotional overwhelm, overthinking, self-judgment, and how learning to stay with yourself during emotional pain can fundamentally change your relationship with your emotions — and with yourself. In This Episode, We Cover:Why sensitive women often fear fully feeling their emotionsThe difference between emotional pain and emotional overwhelmWhy emotional overwhelm is a capacity issue, not fragilityHow we’re taught to fix, explain, or numb emotions instead of feeling themWhy intellectualizing emotions leads to overthinking and burnoutCommon patterns sensitive women use to cope with emotional painHow urgency, meaning-making, and self-judgment intensify emotional painThe difference between managing emotional pain and relating to itWhy emotions don’t need to be solved in order to moveHow to separate sensation in the body from the story in the mindWhat it actually looks like to “stay with” an emotionWhy emotional processing should feel quiet, boring, and non-dramaticHow emotional capacity grows through presence, not forceA personal water-skiing story that illustrates how emotional capacity is built Key TakeawayEmotional pain isn’t the problem — being alone inside it is. When you learn how to stay with yourself instead of trying to fix, outrun, or explain your emotions, your capacity grows. Sensitivity stops being something you manage and becomes a strength you can trust. Mentioned in This EpisodeEmotional capacity vs. emotional fragilityClean emotional experience vs. emotional overwhelmSeparating sensation from storyInternal companionship and self-trustPresence as the path to emotional confidence Work With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you. I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice. Book a discovery call here: 👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call Stay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. I’ll see you next week. 💛

    21 min

  8. JAN 15

    296. The Truth About Jealousy (And How It Shows You What You Want)

    Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others. In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information. This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others. In This Episode, We Cover:What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)Why jealousy often feels so intense and painfulThe difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousyHow we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgmentThe two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsightHow jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrinkWhy avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuckHow jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibility Key TakeawayJealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment. Mentioned in This EpisodeClean pain vs. dirty painDesire as information, not a problemEmotional honesty without self-abandonmentUsing emotion as guidance instead of self-judgment Work With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you. I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice. Book a discovery call here: 👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call Stay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. I’ll see you next week. 💛

    7 min
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About

You’re trying so hard to make life work… and it still feels like something’s missing. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, taken the advice — but somehow, you’re still stuck. You’re smart, capable, and self-aware, yet you can’t shake the feeling you’re surviving instead of living. This podcast is for deep-feeling women who are done holding it all together and ready to finally feel at home in their own skin. Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares honest coaching, personal stories, and practical tools to help you: Get out of your head and into your life Stop managing your emotions like a full-time job Build self-trust that lasts Live on your terms — without apology If you’ve ever felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time, you’ll hear yourself in every episode — and discover how to love yourself no matter what. 📅 New episodes every Thursday.

Information

  • Creator
    Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    310
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 How To Love Yourself No Matter What
  • Show Website
    How To Love Yourself No Matter What

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