How To Love Yourself No Matter What

Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
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You’re trying so hard to make life work… and it still feels like something’s missing. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, taken the advice — but somehow, you’re still stuck. You’re smart, capable, and self-aware, yet you can’t shake the feeling you’re surviving instead of living. This podcast is for deep-feeling women who are done holding it all together and ready to finally feel at home in their own skin. Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares honest coaching, personal stories, and practical tools to help you: Get out of your head and into your life Stop managing your emotions like a full-time job Build self-trust that lasts Live on your terms — without apology If you’ve ever felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time, you’ll hear yourself in every episode — and discover how to love yourself no matter what. 📅 New episodes every Thursday.

  1. FEB 12

    300. Episode 300: Love Yourself No Matter What (My Most Important Message Yet)

    Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300. When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared: Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything. Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations. It’s about learning how to be safe with yourself. It’s about learning how to support yourself when you’re struggling… how to regulate your nervous system… how to stop spiraling into shame… and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else. In this episode, I’m walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life — even if you feel like you’ve tried everything. This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace. And if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is “wrong” with you… This episode is for you. ✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:Why self-love is still deeply misunderstoodThe difference between being loving vs. being permissiveWhy so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhaustedHow perfectionism and pressure keep you stuckMy personal rock bottom — and what I was told about myselfHow nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for “something wrong with you”Why learning to love yourself creates emotional safetyThe “abused puppy” metaphor that explains healing perfectlyHow self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiralingWhy your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourselfHow to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you don’t feel lovable) 💛 Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your life, I’d love to talk with you. 📍 Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall 🎧 Loved this Episode?If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review — it helps more women find this work and start healing too.

    22 min

  2. FEB 5

    299. Why You Don’t Feel Like You Belong (Even When You’re Included)

    Show notes coming soon

    14 min

  3. JAN 29

    298. Big Girls Do Cry

    I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters. I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too. In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We’ve been taught to feel shame or guilt when we cry, especially in front of other people, but that doesn’t mean crying is wrong. More often than not, it just means other people don’t have the tools to be with it. This is a conversation about sensitivity, emotion, and why big girls do cry — not because we’re weak, but because we feel deeply, we care, and we’re human. In This Episode, I Cover:Why I cry every day — and why that’s not a problemThe shame and guilt many women feel when they cry in front of othersWhy people try to fix crying instead of allowing itHow we’re taught that crying is inappropriate or “too much”Why crying isn’t manipulativeCrying as release, connection, and a non-aggressive expression of emotionA thought to try on: Big girls do cry — and I’m okay with myself when I do A question to sit with:What happens when I let myself cry without making it mean something has gone wrong? You don’t need to answer it — just notice the urge to stop it, explain it, apologize for it, or judge yourself for it. That noticing is the work. If this episode brought up relief, resistance, or confusion, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it by yourself. ✨ Come say hi on Instagram: @theamandahess I’d love to hear what this stirred for you — the real, unpolished version. If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you. I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice. Book a discovery call here: 👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call Stay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. I’ll see you next week. 💛

    5 min

  4. JAN 22

    297. How Sensitive Women Can Navigate Emotional Pain Without Losing Themselves

    Sensitive women feel deeply — and for many, emotional pain can feel overwhelming, unsafe, or impossible to sit with. There’s often a fear that if you really let yourself feel it, you’ll fall apart and won’t be able to recover. In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for sensitive and neurodivergent women — and why this has nothing to do with being fragile or broken. We explore how emotional overwhelm is actually a capacity issue, not a personal flaw, and how many of the ways we’ve learned to cope with emotion are protective — but ultimately keep us stuck. This is an honest conversation about emotional overwhelm, overthinking, self-judgment, and how learning to stay with yourself during emotional pain can fundamentally change your relationship with your emotions — and with yourself. In This Episode, We Cover:Why sensitive women often fear fully feeling their emotionsThe difference between emotional pain and emotional overwhelmWhy emotional overwhelm is a capacity issue, not fragilityHow we’re taught to fix, explain, or numb emotions instead of feeling themWhy intellectualizing emotions leads to overthinking and burnoutCommon patterns sensitive women use to cope with emotional painHow urgency, meaning-making, and self-judgment intensify emotional painThe difference between managing emotional pain and relating to itWhy emotions don’t need to be solved in order to moveHow to separate sensation in the body from the story in the mindWhat it actually looks like to “stay with” an emotionWhy emotional processing should feel quiet, boring, and non-dramaticHow emotional capacity grows through presence, not forceA personal water-skiing story that illustrates how emotional capacity is built Key TakeawayEmotional pain isn’t the problem — being alone inside it is. When you learn how to stay with yourself instead of trying to fix, outrun, or explain your emotions, your capacity grows. Sensitivity stops being something you manage and becomes a strength you can trust. Mentioned in This EpisodeEmotional capacity vs. emotional fragilityClean emotional experience vs. emotional overwhelmSeparating sensation from storyInternal companionship and self-trustPresence as the path to emotional confidence Work With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you. I currently have space...

    21 min

  5. JAN 15

    296. The Truth About Jealousy (And How It Shows You What You Want)

    Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others. In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information. This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others. In This Episode, We Cover:What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)Why jealousy often feels so intense and painfulThe difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousyHow we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgmentThe two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsightHow jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrinkWhy avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuckHow jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibility Key TakeawayJealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment. Mentioned in This EpisodeClean pain vs. dirty painDesire as information, not a problemEmotional honesty without self-abandonmentUsing emotion as guidance instead of self-judgment Work With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you. I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice. Book a discovery call here: 👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call Stay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. I’ll see you next week. 💛

    7 min

  6. JAN 8

    295. Belonging, Rejection & Why You Reject Yourself In Advance

    Belonging is one of our most basic human needs — but what if the biggest thing standing in the way of feeling like you belong isn’t other people… it’s you? In this episode, I break down why rejection feels so painful, how micro-rejections accumulate over time, and why so many of us unconsciously reject ourselves before anyone else ever gets the chance to. We explore how rejection is an emotion (not a circumstance), how your brain tries to keep you “safe” by shrinking your life, and what it actually takes to rebuild your capacity for connection. This is a powerful, compassionate conversation about emotional safety, self-belonging, and learning how to stop turning away from yourself — even when your nervous system wants to hide. In This Episode, We Cover:Why belonging is a feeling, not something other people give youThe difference between direct rejection and micro-rejectionsHow rejection sensitivity builds quietly over timeWhy avoiding rejection leads to a smaller, lonelier lifeWhat it means to reject yourself in advance (and how it shows up)How your brain uses pre-rejection as a protection strategyA simple, practical way to interrupt self-rejection in real timeWhy you don’t need to “heal everything” to move forwardHow to build internal belonging: I am lovable. I belong. Key TakeawayIf you want to feel more connected, you have to stop abandoning yourself first. Belonging begins internally — and it’s a skill you can practice, moment by moment. Mentioned in This EpisodeThe Love Yourself No Matter What coaching methodReal-life application vs. theory-based mindset workNervous system safety, emotional processing, and self-trust Work With MeIf this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you. I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice. Book a discovery call here: 👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call Stay ConnectedIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. I’ll see you next week. 💛

    17 min

  7. JAN 1

    294. Why January 1st Feels Heavy (And Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work)

    If you’re listening to this in January (or any other time of the year) and feeling heavy, flat, emotional, or quietly overwhelmed — this episode is for you. January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating. But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense of “I should be feeling better than I am.” In this episode, I’m unpacking why January 1st can feel so dysregulating — and why New Year’s resolutions often make things worse, not better. This isn’t about mindset failure or lack of discipline. It’s about conditioning, shame-based change, and a nervous system that’s been trained to scan for what’s missing. We’ll talk about: Why New Year’s resolutions are often fueled by shameHow performative change keeps you stuck in all-or-nothing cyclesWhy willpower always fails (and what actually works instead)The real reason behaviors like overeating, drinking, people-pleasing, or overworking don’t change through controlA gentler, more effective way to approach the new year without pressureHow self-concept and emotional safety create sustainable changePowerful reframes you can return to all year long Instead of asking “Who do I need to become this year?” I invite you to explore questions like: What would make me feel a little safer this year?What do I want more of emotionally, energetically, and relationally?What helps me come back to myself? You don’t need a big vision. You don’t need a perfect plan. And you don’t need to fix yourself. You just need to be willing to stay with yourself while this year unfolds. Mentioned in This EpisodeEpisode 293: You Are Not Who You Think You Are — How to Change Your Self-ConceptJoin the membership for a free week at 👉 joinamanda.ca(Includes coaching calls + an upcoming full class on self-concept)Book a private coaching discovery call at 👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall A Gentle ReminderYou don’t have to know where 2026 is going yet. You don’t have to feel motivated. And you don’t need a resolution to be worthy of change. What if this year was about trusting yourself instead of forcing yourself? What if your only intention was to love yourself — and be more you? I’m so glad you’re here. And I can’t wait to keep talking with you in 2026.

    21 min

  8. 12/29/2025

    293. You Are Not Who You Think You Are: How to Change Your Self-Concept

    As the year comes to a close, many of us are taking stock — not just of what we did, but of who we believe we are. In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships, and choices — often without you realizing it. So many of the things we believe about ourselves feel like facts… but they’re not. They’re thoughts — many of them inherited from childhood, authority figures, culture, or past experiences — and they can be changed. Inside this episode, I share: What self-concept actually is (and what it’s not)How early experiences shape the way we see ourselvesWhy “positive thinking” often backfiresA powerful question that opens a new path forward: Who would I be without this thought?How to shift self-judgment without forcing yourself to believe something that doesn’t feel trueWhy changing your self-concept isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about freeing yourself If you’ve ever felt like you aren't capable of changing your life, this conversation offers a gentler, more empowering way to look at yourself — one that creates possibility instead of pressure. Work With MeIf you want support with this work: ✨ Join my membership You can come into the community this week for a free 7-day trial. You’ll get access to: Weekly group coaching callsMy private daily podcast (500+ episodes)A supportive, thoughtful community of women doing this work together Go to joinamanda.ca to find out more. ✨ 1:1 Coaching I currently have limited availability for private coaching. Book a discovery call here: 👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. You can find me on Instagram at @theamandahess — send me a DM and tell me what stood out. Whether you celebrate or not, I’m sending you so much love as this year comes to a close. You are not stuck. You are not broken. And you are allowed to change.

    19 min
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About

You’re trying so hard to make life work… and it still feels like something’s missing. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, taken the advice — but somehow, you’re still stuck. You’re smart, capable, and self-aware, yet you can’t shake the feeling you’re surviving instead of living. This podcast is for deep-feeling women who are done holding it all together and ready to finally feel at home in their own skin. Each week, Amanda Hess, Certified Life Coach and straight-talking deep-feeler, shares honest coaching, personal stories, and practical tools to help you: Get out of your head and into your life Stop managing your emotions like a full-time job Build self-trust that lasts Live on your terms — without apology If you’ve ever felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time, you’ll hear yourself in every episode — and discover how to love yourself no matter what. 📅 New episodes every Thursday.

Information

  • Creator
    Amanda Hess: Certified Life Coach for women ready to heal past hurt and finally thrive
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    307
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 How To Love Yourself No Matter What
  • Show Website
    How To Love Yourself No Matter What

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