Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.
  • 4.6 (292)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join retired psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

  1. The Scary Reason Why Gaslighting Actually Works (And You’re a Part of the Problem)

    2D AGO

    The Scary Reason Why Gaslighting Actually Works (And You’re a Part of the Problem)

    Have you ever tried to walk away from a toxic person, only to find yourself right back in the middle of their reality? This week, Dr. Robin Stern (author of The Gaslight Effect) joins Dr. Kerry for a conversation that will change how you view manipulation. Most people think gaslighting is just about lying—but the truth is much darker. It’s a "relational mess" that requires two people to function. Previous Interviews with Dr. Stern What's wrong with me? The Power of Gaslighting to Confuse and Control: Interview with Dr. Robin Stern Breaking Chains: Dr. Kerry McAvoy's Triumph Over Marital Gaslighting and Narcissism PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT   Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.  MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW   🔹 Dr. Stern shares the shift that breaks the cycle for good: "Don't allow somebody to matter more than you matter."  In this members-only bonus, Dr. Stern and Dr. Kerry unpack how to stay open and connected in relationships without surrendering yourself in the process.  👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview DR. STERN'S BOOKS  • The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life: https://amzn.to/4b50aRu  • The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide: https://amzn.to/40qzc0B  MORE ABOUT DR. ROBIN STERN   Dr. Robin Stern, Ph.D., is a licensed psychoanalyst, Co-Founder and Senior Advisor to the Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and one of the world's leading authorities on gaslighting. She is the author of The Gaslight Effect and host of The Gaslight Effect Podcast.  Website: robinstern.com   Podcast: The Gaslight Effect Podcast (available on all platforms) Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    23 min
  2. Do Narcissists Enjoy Hurting You? Here's Dr. Kerry's Hard Truth

    6D AGO

    Do Narcissists Enjoy Hurting You? Here's Dr. Kerry's Hard Truth

    Why does someone who divorces a narcissist keep going back to them?  A listener writes in, “My best friend divorced her narcissistic ex two months ago — but she keeps talking to him, then ignoring him, then reaching out again. She says she wants to move on, but she can't seem to break the cycle.”   In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why leaving a narcissist doesn't automatically break the trauma bond and why survivors struggle to escape.  Submit Your Question   If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Follow on Apple  Follow on Spotify Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    7 min
  3. How to Tell You've Met a Narcissist: Coach Dan Ratner's Best Sniff Test

    MAR 23

    How to Tell You've Met a Narcissist: Coach Dan Ratner's Best Sniff Test

    Have you ever felt completely drained after spending time with certain people in your life?  This week, Coach Dan Ratner joins Dr. Kerry to explore the hidden world of emotional vampires: the 12 types of energy-draining people we all have in our lives and why narcissists are the most dangerous of them all. Dan shares his powerful KEEPER framework for identifying who truly deserves a place in your life.  PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW  🔹 Already know you have an emotional vampire in your life? Here's what to do next.  Coach Dan breaks down practical strategies for managing toxic people you can't simply cut out — from family members to coworkers — and how to protect your emotional energy without blowing everything up.  DANIEL RATNER is a relationship coach, speaker, and author helping people build healthier connections by recognizing draining patterns and setting stronger boundaries. A former entrepreneur turned personal growth expert, he is the author of Infinite Marriage and The Ten Secrets to a Passionate Marriage, with his upcoming book, Emotional Vampires, teaching readers how to protect their happiness from toxic people. Through his coaching, books, and public talks, Daniel provides clear, practical tools for improving self-esteem, cultivating "keepers," and creating relationships that fuel joy.  GET HIS BOOK Emotional Vampires: How to Protect Your Happiness from People Who Will Suck You Dry FOLLOW COACH RATNER • Website • Instagram • YouTube • TikTok Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    32 min
  4. My Brother Is Stealing My Mother's Final Years & She Refuses to Stop Him

    MAR 19

    My Brother Is Stealing My Mother's Final Years & She Refuses to Stop Him

    Take the Toxic or Troubled? Quiz and get specialized help for your specific situation. https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey My 62-year-old narcissistic brother moved in with my 86-year-old mother "temporarily" after his divorce six years ago. Now she's suffocating, the rest of the family stays away, and she won't let anyone intervene.  In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why some mothers choose guilt over peace — and what to do when someone refuses to set healthy relationship limits for themselves. Learn how to protect your own nervous system while supporting a parent who is trapped by fear, obligation, and guilt.  Submit Your Question   If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Follow on Apple  Follow on Spotify Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    11 min
  5. Want to Spot Red Flags the First Time You Meet? How Abusers Reveal Themselves Through Their Words, Featuring Dr. Jennie Young

    MAR 16

    Want to Spot Red Flags the First Time You Meet? How Abusers Reveal Themselves Through Their Words, Featuring Dr. Jennie Young

    Ever ignored a gut feeling on a date because you wanted to "give him a chance"?   This week, Dr. Jennie Young — PhD linguist and creator of the viral Burned Haystack Dating Method — reveals how the words men use in dating profiles and early messages expose exactly who they are before you've even met.   PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.  MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW   🔹 Dr. Young breaks down the top 5 most dangerous rhetorical patterns — with real examples from actual dating profiles — including "test and apologize," cult leader language, threats disguised as preferences, and the "blue ribbon for bare minimum" that's almost always a red flag.   👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview THE BOOK   Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter by Dr. Jennie Young MORE ABOUT DR. JENNIE YOUNG   Dr. Jennie Young is a college professor with a PhD in rhetoric and discourse studies and a specialization in critical discourse analysis — the study of how language reveals what speakers don't want you to know. After applying her expertise to online dating, she built a 250,000-member Facebook group (Burn Haystack Dating Method) entirely by word of mouth.   Follow her on Instagram: @word_case_scenario Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    32 min
  6. What to Do When You Can't Leave: How to Protect Yourself from a Coercive Partner

    MAR 12

    What to Do When You Can't Leave: How to Protect Yourself from a Coercive Partner

    My husband forces sex on me, erupts in rage, and his wealthy family would never believe me — and I don't think I can leave.  In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why you can't make an unsafe person safe through effort alone — and why that means your only real lever is increasing your own protection. Learn a practical two-stage framework to manage this impossible situation.   Submit Your Question  If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Follow on Apple  Follow on Spotify Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    17 min
  7. Why Am I Not Getting Better? The Hidden CPTSD Symptoms That Can Stall Your Healing

    MAR 9

    Why Am I Not Getting Better? The Hidden CPTSD Symptoms That Can Stall Your Healing

    You've done the work. Read the books. Tried the strategies. So why aren't you healing?  This week, survivor and educator Ellen Tift reveals the hidden CPTSD symptoms quietly keeping you stuck—and why naming them might be the most powerful thing you can do.  PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.  MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW  🔹 Ellen dives deep into the little-known difference between existential shame and existential humiliation—and why survivors often feel ashamed just for existing.  👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview THE BOOK There's a Word for That by Ellen Tift (Available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited)  MORE ABOUT ELLEN TIFT  Ellen Tift is a 30-year university educator and CPTSD survivor who turned her own healing journey into a comprehensive recovery resource. Her book breaks down the invisible symptoms of complex trauma into plain-English chapters—each with practical strategies and real-life scripts.  • Website • Instagram Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    30 min
  8. Watch Out for These 7 Empathy Weaponization Tactics That Will Trap You

    MAR 5

    Watch Out for These 7 Empathy Weaponization Tactics That Will Trap You

    Have you heard, ‘If you truly understood me, you'd give me what I want?”  This week's Fan Mail comes from a listener in Sweden who asks Dr. Kerry to explain how empathy gets weaponized.  In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the 5 types of empathy (affective, cognitive, compassionate, somatic, and perspective-taking) and explains why having empathy doesn't make someone safe.  Follow on Apple   Follow on Spotify Submit Your Question  If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources ReclaimYou: Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching appThe Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism.  As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    11 min
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Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join retired psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

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