Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.
  • 4.6 (307)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

  1. 10h ago ·  Video

    I Treated Narcissists for Years and Never Saw a Collapse — Here's What Really Happens

    Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after? What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind narcissistic collapse and what it takes to step out of that role: • Why the dramatic display is often a performance to block abandonment • Why true collapse requires remorse and self-reflection • How the defensive structure drops when challenged, then reframes and re-hardens • Why they demand you affirm they are still good #NarcissisticCollapse #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  2. 3d ago ·  Video

    He Fooled Every Therapist in the Room — What No One Warns You (feat. Chelsey Brooke Cole)

    What if the trait everyone praises you for is the exact one the narcissist is scanning for? That isn’t naivety. That isn’t missing the red flags. Agreeableness — assuming people are honest, wanting harmony, believing no one would be cruel on purpose — is a readable personality profile, and predators read it faster than you can. In this episode, Kerry sits down with therapist and author Chelsey Brooke Cole. Cole married two narcissists — one grandiose, one covert — while practicing as a clinician herself. She breaks down why agreeable people are targeted rather than unlucky, how narcissists game the therapy room while the professionals in it cheer them on, and the chilling answer her husband gave when she asked him what shame actually meant to him. 🔒 Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Chelsey give you the single question that collapses a gaslighting conversation in real time — the one you ask yourself when you can't tell whether you're being unreasonable or being worked. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here. CHELSEY BROOKE COLE is a licensed psychotherapist, Certified Partner Trauma Therapist, and best-selling author of If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth. She specializes in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma, with her work routinely featured in outlets like USA Today, HuffPost, and Psychology Today. She is the host of Restoring Resilience, a podcast dedicated to helping survivors heal and reclaim their lives, and the creator of the program Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse. Book: If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-WorthMasterclass: The Narcissist PlaybookWebsite #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #CovertNarcissist #BetrayalTrauma #PredatorPsychology #ToxicRelationships Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  3. Sep 3 ·  Video

    The Family Scapegoat: Why You Were Chosen, and Why It Was Never About You

    Why does one person in the family end up carrying everything — the blame, the mood, the thing nobody will say out loud? That wasn't a flaw in you. That was a role, and someone cast you in it.  Scapegoating is bullying that a family agrees not to stop, and it works because it holds the group together at your expense. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry breaks down why families choose a scapegoat, why the role follows you into adulthood, and why none of it was ever about you: • Why scapegoating is really bullying — and why a smear campaign is the same dynamic • The four reasons a family picks a scapegoat, including the truth-teller who sees too clearly • What the people who witnessed it learned to do instead of stopping it • Introjection: how you took in a role that was never yours to carry • Why the doubt you feel afterward makes sense — and why it was always about them Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  4. Aug 31 ·  Video

    How Narcissists Pick Their Victims in Under an Hour

    What if it only takes him an hour to know exactly how to control you? That wasn't chemistry. That wasn't "instant connection." A predator ran a background check on your character to know if you had the exact traits he needs to exploit. In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with returning author and expert, Don Hennessy. Hennessy has spent decades working directly with abusive men. He breaks down the calculated, deliberate selection process predators use to identify and groom targets. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Hennessy's blunt verdict on whether predators can ever truly change — and the one phrase he says you should never say to an abuser again. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse DON HENNESSY is an author and educator who has spent decades working directly with groups of abusive men to understand the deliberate, calculated psychology behind intimate partner abuse. His work challenges the popular myth that abusers "lose control," arguing instead that their behavior is a conscious strategy — and that recognizing the pattern early is the most effective form of protection. Books:  The Mind of the Intimate Male Abuser : How He Gets into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate AbuserSteps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate ControlHow He Wins: Abusive Intimate Partners Going FreeSubmit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  5. Aug 27 ·  Video

    Rumination After Narcissistic Abuse: Why Your Mind Won't Stop, and How to Break the Loop

    Why do you keep replaying a relationship that's already over — running the same five minutes on a loop, searching for the one detail that will finally make sense of it? That wasn't you overthinking. That was your nervous system trying to close a case file that has no ending. You survived a partner who gaslit you and switched faces so that the "true" version of them was never verifiable. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down why narcissistic relationships in particular trigger relentless rumination, and why logic can't stop it: Why the gaslighting-and-Jekyll-and-Hyde split that makes it difficult to verify the truthWhy the mental looping can't doesn’t stopThe best practical strategy to disrupt the fight-or-flight spiralAnd how to find closure that will never come from themSubmit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  6. Aug 24 ·  Video

    The Narcissist Relationship Cycle: Why They Get Bored and Repeat It

    What if the reason they keep coming back to you has nothing to do with love — and everything to do with boredom?  In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lynn Strathdee break down the internal clock that drives narcissistic relationship cycles. How pathological partners idealize, withdraw, only to circle back. This isn’t about the victim—it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser.   Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment  Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited.   Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interview with you subscribe today. Join here->https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.   WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/  Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  7. Aug 20 ·  Video

    The Narcissist’s Hit-And-Run Tactic: Why They Leave You Feeling Crazy

    They said they'd "never talk to you again" — like it was a boundary. Like it was healthy. But the silence never actually stayed silent. Behind your back, a different story was already being told behind your back. And when you reach out, you’re blocked. This is a smear campaign with a "no contact" mask on. This episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived through the attack-then-block cycle — to break down what's actually happening when a narcissist "refuses to engage." In this episode: Why narcissists weaponize "I don't argue" as a performance for an audience, not a boundary for youThe block-and-smear pattern: how silence toward you becomes a story told behind your backHow this tactic exploits your trauma-informed instincts, making distance look like discernmentWhy survivors are left unable to defend themselves against a narrative they never even heardWhat documenting and disengaging safely actually looks like — without chasing the last wordSubmit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  8. Aug 17 ·  Video

    Divorce Attorney Diana Romanov: Why Being Nice to a Narcissist Can Leave You Homeless

    The divorce papers are signed. The marriage is over. But for survivors of narcissistic abuse, the legal system is often where the abuse escalates — not ends.   In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and Family Law Attorney Diana Romanov decode the legal tactics narcissists weaponize after you leave. How conflict avoidance becomes your abuser’s most powerful legal advantage. Learn how the earliest red flags predict exactly how dangerous the divorce will be.  Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment Want to go deeper? What happens when survivors of narcissistic abuse hire an attorney who mirrors the very dynamic they just escaped?   In this Members-Only segment, Diana reveals why trauma survivors unconsciously gravitate toward legal representation that replicates familiar but toxic relationship dynamics and what it costs them. Learn the most important rarely asked question your attorney should be asking you.  Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access to this exclusive segment today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  DIANA ROMANOV is a California-certified Family Law Specialist and divorce attorney with over 25 years of experience representing clients in high-conflict and narcissistic abuse cases. As the creator of Divorce Like a Boss, she brings legal precision and hard-won courtroom insight to the realities survivors face when leaving toxic relationships — revealing not just the legal strategy, but the psychological warfare playing out in filings, hearings, and depositions.   YOUTUBE: Divorce Like a Boss  WEBSITE #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #npd #divorcinganarcissist #postseparationabuse #coercivecontrol #highconflictdivorce Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

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Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

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