The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav
  • 4.8 (22)
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

  1. 3D AGO

    Covert Narcissism and Children: Signs the Kids Are Hurting

    If you are living with covert narcissism in your marriage and starting to notice changes in your children — depression, anxiety, slipping grades, withdrawal, golden child or scapegoat dynamics — this episode is for you. In this episode, we explore how covert narcissism affects children, including the subtle but powerful ways kids adapt to emotional unpredictability inside the home. When one child becomes the high-achieving “golden child,” another absorbs blame as the “scapegoat,” and another disappears into isolation, these are not random personality traits. They are survival responses. We’ll talk about: Signs your child may be impacted by covert narcissistic abuse Situational depression in teens and what it may be signaling How trauma bonding can affect children Why kids organize themselves around a volatile parent The long-term effects of growing up in emotional instability Practical, age-appropriate ways to talk to your children about what they’re feeling If you’ve been asking yourself, “Should I stay for the kids?” this episode gently challenges that question and invites you to consider the emotional cost of chronic tension in the home. You don’t need dramatic proof to take your child’s emotional well-being seriously. When the kids start hurting, it changes everything. This episode will help you recognize the signs and give you practical tools to begin supporting your children in healthy, grounded ways. Your story matters, and you deserve to be heard without judgment. If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at [your website]. And don’t forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    24 min

  2. 6D AGO

    Covert Narcissism Community Chat: Why Was It So Hard to Call This Abuse? Part One

    Why is it so difficult to recognize covert narcissistic abuse when you’re living inside it? In Part 1 of this community chat, Olivia, Cindy, and Shannon share why they couldn’t call their relationships abusive for years—even decades. When emotional abuse is subtle, mixed with good moments, public charm, and messages like “marriage is just hard,” the confusion runs deep. We talk about: Growing up with normalized dysfunction Calling it “communication problems” instead of abuse Faith, loyalty, and trying harder to be a “good wife” Intermittent reinforcement and hope resetting the pain Minimizing red flags—including physical aggression If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it really abuse, or am I overreacting?” this episode will help you understand why naming it feels so hard. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    32 min

  3. FEB 22

    Covert Narcissism and the Nervous System: Why You Feel So Reactive

    If you feel “too emotional,” hypersensitive, or unstable in your relationship, this episode will help you understand what is really happening. Today we are exploring covert narcissism and the nervous system — and why what looks like emotional reactivity is often a biological response to unpredictability, invalidation, and emotional disconnection. In covert narcissistic dynamics, you are often labeled as the reactive one. The dramatic one. The one who can’t let things go. Meanwhile, your partner appears calm, detached, or ready to move on as if nothing happened. Over time, you begin to question yourself. Am I the problem? Am I unstable? Am I the narcissist? In this episode, we break down what is happening in your brain and body during these moments. We discuss attachment threat, amygdala activation, prefrontal cortex shutdown, and polyvagal theory in simple terms. You will learn why unpredictability keeps your nervous system on high alert and why you cannot “heal your reactivity” in an environment that continues to feel unsafe. We also explore the honest question: maybe you are reactive. Maybe some of your wiring comes from childhood. But nervous systems heal in safe environments. If your partner does not provide consistency, repair, and co-regulation, your body will continue to respond accordingly. This episode will help you shift from shame to understanding. Your nervous system is not your enemy. It may be responding exactly as it was designed to respond. If you are living with a covert narcissist, questioning your emotional stability, or wondering why you feel so activated in your relationship, this episode will give you clarity and direction. Your body is not broken. It has been trying to protect you. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min

  4. FEB 19

    Covert Narcissism Q&A: Clarity, Boundaries & Radical Acceptance (Part 2)

    In Part 2 of this Q&A pulled directly from the Covert Narcissism Group Facebook page, we continue answering the real, unfiltered questions so many of you are quietly carrying. Why does couples therapy sometimes make things worse? Why won’t they answer even the simplest questions directly? How do you rebuild self-trust after years of gaslighting? And what does radical acceptance actually look like when you’re still untangling fantasy from reality? This episode moves from confusion into clarity. We talk about circular conversations, accountability versus performance, rebuilding your inner voice, protecting your peace, and why healing isn’t about certainty — it’s about grounding yourself in what is true. If you’ve been stuck in the fog of covert narcissism — questioning your memory, your instincts, or your decisions — this conversation will help you see the patterns more clearly and reclaim your footing. You don’t need to have everything resolved. You just need enough clarity to take your next steady step. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    33 min

  5. FEB 15

    Gaslighting Without the Drama: The Subtle Reality

    In this episode, we break down what subtle gaslighting looks like in covert narcissistic relationships and why it’s so hard to recognize. You’ll learn how emotional manipulation can sound calm, reasonable, and even compassionate—while quietly eroding your self-trust. Not all gaslighting is loud. Sometimes it’s delivered gently. Sometimes it contains just enough truth to make you hesitate. Instead of “That never happened,” it’s “That’s not exactly how it happened.” Instead of “You’re crazy,” it’s “You know you can be a bit sensitive sometimes.” And over time, those small reframes begin to destabilize your confidence in your own memory and perception. We’ll explore real-life examples of subtle emotional abuse, including half-truths, tone shifts, memory rewrites, and caring-sounding responses that leave you comforting the very person who dismissed your experience. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, guilty, or unsure of yourself—even though nothing dramatic happened—this episode will help you understand why. You’ll also learn practical ways to rebuild self-trust, anchor yourself when subtle gaslighting happens, and reclaim your internal authority without needing to prove your reality to someone else. If you’ve been asking yourself, “Is this really gaslighting?” or “Why do I feel so confused when nothing big happened?”—this episode is for you. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    23 min

  6. FEB 12

    Covert Narcissism Q&A: The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask (Part 1)

    In this special Q&A episode pulled directly from the Covert Narcissism Group Facebook page, I’m answering some of the most honest — and often unspoken — questions about living with and healing from covert narcissistic dynamics. Why do conversations go in circles? Why does couples therapy sometimes make things worse? Why can they be so charming one moment and so hurtful the next? And how do you protect your clarity when you feel like you’re constantly doubting yourself? If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re overreacting, communicating poorly, or somehow “doing it wrong,” this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening beneath the surface. We talk about cognitive dissonance, circular conversations, accountability vs. performance, protecting vulnerable children without badmouthing a parent, and why asking questions is often the first act of self-trust. You don’t need all the answers yet. You’re not behind. And you’re not the only one asking these questions. Part 2 continues the conversation next week. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    33 min

  7. FEB 8

    The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone

    If you feel lonely even when you’re not alone, this episode will help you understand why. In The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone, we explore emotional invisibility, the quiet isolation that happens in covert narcissistic relationships, and why being truly seen can feel so rare—and so deeply relieving. Many survivors describe the loneliest place as sitting beside their partner, realizing they are not truly known. In this episode, we talk about why your words may have never landed, why small moments—like circular arguments, silent treatments, or everyday interactions—can leave you questioning your reality, and why hearing someone else say “I thought I was the only one” can bring such powerful relief. This is a reassurance-focused episode designed to help you feel seen, understood, and grounded in the truth that your need for connection is normal and human. THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    25 min

  8. FEB 5

    The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Who Tries With a Covert Narcissist

    Today’s episode is about covert narcissism and the deep exhaustion that comes from always being the one who tries in the relationship. If you’re living with or recovering from a covert narcissist, you may recognize this immediately: you’re the one who explains, softens, repairs, revisits conversations, manages emotions, and keeps hoping that if you say it just right, things will finally change. Instead, you end up emotionally depleted, confused, and wondering why nothing ever sticks. In this community chat, I’m joined by Laura and Jay, who share what it’s like to live inside this dynamic—where effort is constant, responsibility is one-sided, and the emotional labor never ends. We talk about how this pattern develops, why it’s so hard to stop trying, and how many survivors reach a moment of clarity when they realize this isn’t normal relationship struggle—it’s covert narcissistic abuse. If you feel worn down from over-explaining, over-accommodating, and carrying the emotional weight of the relationship alone, this episode will help you put words to what you’re experiencing. DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    38 min
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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

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