It's Not About the Alcohol

Colleen Freeland
  • 4.9 (130)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by 80 percent so you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control. Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. I'm an intuitive drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible. The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease! Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body. Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don't drink themselves into a stupor.

  1. EP324: Why I'm No longer Suggesting Women "Reduce Drinking By 80%"

    3D AGO

    EP324: Why I'm No longer Suggesting Women "Reduce Drinking By 80%"

    For two years, "reduce your drinking by 80%" was my signature phrase. It's on my website, my ads, my podcast — everywhere. In this episode, I tell you why I retired it, what I replaced it with, and what this shift means for you — whether you're in my program or hearing my voice for the first time. This is a behind-the-scenes episode pulled from Coffee with Colleen, my daily internal podcast for clients inside The Next Chapter. You'll hear me talk about how my own messaging accidentally did the thing I teach women not to do — and how catching that blind spot led to a complete rebrand, a new masterclass, and a brand new way into this work. In this episode: Why "drink less" is a negative goal — and what your brain actually does with it The real reason it gets harder to stay on track once you feel better What "take it or leave it" means and why those four words change everything The counterintuitive first step that sets my approach apart from every other program New ways to work with me at every level  Links mentioned in this episode: 📞 BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL — $2,000 tuition discount on The Next Chapter expires Feb 28. As long as you book the call before the 28th, we'll honor the discount. [LINK] 🎥 Watch The FREE Masterclass— The Science Behind Take It or Leave It: Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too  [LINK] 🎧 Get the Starter Bundle ($444) — RISE + Skills for Mindful Drinking. The complete Take It or Leave It methodology. Nothing held back. [LINK] Know someone who needs to hear this? Send her this episode. You don't have to say anything — just send the link.

    34 min
  2. EP323: What it means when you're not just drinking for fun, you're drinking to cope

    6D AGO

    EP323: What it means when you're not just drinking for fun, you're drinking to cope

    Most women measure alcohol consumption by how much and how often they drink. But the research says the most important predictor of whether your drinking becomes a real problem isn't about the amount you drink — it's why you drink. In this episode, I tell the story of the exact day I became a daily drinker — and why I didn't even know it happened. I break down the neuroscience of why drinking to reduce stress is the fast pass to addiction, even if you're not drinking more than anyone else. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your reason for drinking matters more than how much you drink The neurological shift that turns a social drinker into a dependent one — and why it's invisible from the outside How your brain works like an algorithm that quietly narrows your options one drink at a time The science of why alcohol actually creates stress instead of relieving it (and the cortisol cycle that explains your 3am wake-up) Why "tolerance" isn't a flex — it's a symptom of something you need to understand The litmus test that reveals whether you can actually take it or leave it What the largest study of its kind (43,000+ people) says about how fast stress drinkers develop dependence If this episode resonated with you: Watch The FREE Masterclass → The science of take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too. Book A FREE Discovery Call→ It's not a sales pitch. It's a coaching conversation to help you figure out where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there. Right now through February 28th, I'm offering $2,000 off of my year-long program, The Next Chapter. I've never done a discount like this and I won't be doing one again.   Connect with me: Watch The FREE Masterclass BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL. YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    27 min
  3. EP322 Minisode: What Big Setbacks With Drinking Really Mean About Your Ability To Change

    FEB 20

    EP322 Minisode: What Big Setbacks With Drinking Really Mean About Your Ability To Change

    ✦ February Bonus ✦ Join The Next Chapter by February 28, 2026 and receive $2,000 off.  In this episode, Colleen reframes one of the biggest misunderstandings about drinking: it's not one behavior — it's a collection of hundreds of habits shaped by context, environment, relationships, and emotional states. Many women believe their drinking defines who they are because they identify with their worst moments. But emotional sobriety requires a more nuanced understanding. The way you drink when you're alone may be completely different from how you drink socially, with family, or during high-stimulation environments — and each context activates different neural pathways, roles, and protective patterns. Colleen shares a personal example from a recent holiday gathering where old habits resurfaced despite years of progress. Instead of interpreting it as failure, she approached it as data — an opportunity to reconnect with a younger protective part of herself and practice intentional, mindful drinking strategies.   🔑 Key Takeaways Why drinking is not one habit, but hundreds of context-driven behaviors How identifying with your worst drinking moments keeps you stuck Why old neural pathways don't disappear — they reactivate in familiar environments The difference between mindful drinking and autopilot drinking How roles and code-switching influence alcohol use around specific people Why positive goals ("drink mindfully") work better than avoidance goals ("don't overdo it")   Click here to Book A Discovery Call. Enroll before February 28, 2026 and receive $2,000 off! Calls book up fast. Don't miss your chance!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    22 min
  4. EP321: Are your alcohol cravings physical or mental?

    FEB 17

    EP321: Are your alcohol cravings physical or mental?

    You think your cravings are a willpower problem. They're not. You think if you could just think differently, you'd drink differently. And that's exactly why nothing has worked. In this episode, I'm breaking down why the urge to drink starts in your body — not your brain — and giving you three red flags that your drinking is actually a symptom of something most high-achieving women refuse to look at. In this episode, you'll learn: The litmus test that reveals whether you can actually "take it or leave it" (be honest with yourself on this one) Why saying you're "not an emotional person" is the most dangerous thing you can believe about yourself Three everyday behaviors that are quietly dysregulating your nervous system — and setting you up to overdrink by evening The science of why you can't stop at two (it's called the biphasic line, and once you understand it, everything clicks) Why you wake up at 3am full of self-loathing — and why that voice isn't really you What's actually happening in your body between 6am and 6pm that makes evening-you a completely different person than morning-you Why "trying harder" is aimed at the wrong part of your brain   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    51 min
  5. EP320 Minisode: Why You Keep Breaking Your Own Rules About Drinking

    FEB 13

    EP320 Minisode: Why You Keep Breaking Your Own Rules About Drinking

    In this episode, Colleen continues sharing takeaways from her retreat with Dr. Amanda Hanson (midlifemuse) — and she names something that sits underneath so much of women's drinking, overgiving, perfectionism, and burnout: conditioning. Not just childhood conditioning — cultural conditioning. Colleen explains how patriarchy functions like an invisible rulebook: the expectations women follow without ever agreeing to them. Be good. Be pleasant. Be grateful. Don't be angry. Don't be too much. Don't embarrass anyone. Don't need too much. Don't take up space. Don't make people uncomfortable. And over time, those rules don't just shape behavior — they create trauma. They train women to silence their truth, distrust their instincts, and prioritize everyone else's emotional experience over their own. And when a woman is disconnected from her needs, her voice, and her power, escapism becomes inevitable. That's why Colleen connects this conversation directly to emotional sobriety: freedom isn't just about alcohol. It's about ending self-abandonment, taking radical ownership of your emotional life, and becoming the kind of woman who can handle discomfort without shrinking, pleasing, or numbing. 🔑 Key Takeaways How culture trains women to abandon themselves to stay safe Why patriarchy is a trauma system, not a debate topic How women unconsciously enforce the rules by judging other women Why "going along to get along" is survival, not character How escapism becomes the nervous system's only outlet Why emotional sobriety requires self-trust more than self-control The reframe: not "tear it down," but rise into power This is a reminder that you're not here to become a "better woman." You're here to become a Free woman. You don't need to be "ready." You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are. Start With A Discovery Call ~ CLICK HERE.    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    21 min
  6. EP319: The #1 skill that will reduce your drinking without (much) willpower

    FEB 10

    EP319: The #1 skill that will reduce your drinking without (much) willpower

    You told yourself this morning you weren't going to drink tonight. But now that it's time to make that decision, it feels impossible to say no. That moment is exactly what Colleen breaks down in this episode — because the path forward requires you to understand that this is not a lack of discipline and it's not a willpower problem. The relief you feel when you take that first sip has nothing to do with alcohol. It's about what's been happening inside your body all day long — the dumpster fire of stress and anxiety that has chronically become your state of normal. In this episode, Colleen teaches you the foundational skill that changes the way you move through your entire day, so that by evening, instead of telling yourself no, you're telling yourself yes — and there are a lot more options on the menu than just drinking. In This Episode: The two versions of you: regulated vs. dysregulated, and why you're a completely different decision-maker in each state Why your body isn't craving alcohol — it's craving relief The difference between skills and strategies, and why strategies fail without this foundational skill Practical strategies that work when you're regulated: Delay Don't Deny, mental rehearsal, talking to your tomorrow self, and extracting the lesson instead of spiraling in shame The RISE framework: Recognize, Integrate, Strategize, Embody What it takes to become the version of you who can take or leave alcohol   You don't need to be "ready." You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are. Start with a Discovery Call. CLICK HERE. Uncover just how supportive a community of women can be when we are all co-creating positive change with intention and clarity.   Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    45 min
  7. EP318: Want to know why some women can take or leave alcohol?

    FEB 6

    EP318: Want to know why some women can take or leave alcohol?

    Do you want to know what's different about the women who can genuinely take or leave alcohol? And why it feels impossible for you to be "more like them?" In this episode, I'm giving you a sneak peak of my new masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it--why some women can and how you can too. The masterclass isn't even on my website yet--you'll watch it right on YouTube.  Click Here to WATCH The Masterclass Also, I'm running a Love Yourself campaign in honor of Valentine's Day. If you book a call and decide to join The Next Chapter, you'll get $2,000 off ! Click Here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL The call is how you lock in the discount — and it's a real conversation, not a sales pitch. Even if you just have questions, book it. That's what it's for.

    8 min
  8. EP317 Why talk therapy isn't enough to change your drinking with Dr. Amanda Hanson

    FEB 3

    EP317 Why talk therapy isn't enough to change your drinking with Dr. Amanda Hanson

    I was one of the most therapized people you've ever met. I knew my triggers. I'd unpacked my daddy issues, my relationship with my mom, my insecurity, my eating disorders, problems in my marriage. I cognitively understood what triggered me and why I wanted to drink so much. And that did f**k-all to reduce my cravings. Which is how I know that awareness isn't enough. Understanding the pattern doesn't break the pattern. And talk therapy—as valuable as it is—didn't change how I felt in my body.  Today's guest is Dr. Amanda Hanson, a clinical psychologist who spent the first half of her 27-year career practicing traditional therapy—until she realized all that talking wasn't actually helping women change. What she discovered instead will completely transformed how you think about emotions, nervous system regulation, and why so many of us numb instead of feel. We go deep in this conversation. We talk about why women are taught to source their safety outside of themselves—and what happens when you stop. We talk about the rage release practice that cracked me open at her retreat. We talk about aging, beauty, and the cultural scam that keeps women distracted from their real power. And we talk about what it actually takes to stop abandoning yourself. If you've done the therapy, read the books, understand your patterns—and you're still stuck—this episode is going to show you what's missing. In this episode, we cover: → Why traditional talk therapy often isn't enough to change behavior  → The difference between being emotionally dysregulated and being fully alive → How self-abandonment leads to numbing (wine, food, scrolling) → What a rage release and grief release practices look like  → How to give yourself the things you've been waiting for someone else to give you → Aging, beauty, and refusing to be complicit in a system designed to keep women small   Dr. Amanda Hanson is a clinical psychologist with 27 years of experience who now works with women in ways radically different from her traditional training. She is the host of the podcast Things Your Mother Never Told You and creator of the Magnetic retreat experience. Find her on Instagram @midlife.muse or at AmandaHanson.com   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    58 min
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About

Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by 80 percent so you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control. Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. I'm an intuitive drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible. The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease! Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body. Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don't drink themselves into a stupor.

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