It's Not About the Alcohol

Colleen Freeland
  • 4.9 (127)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by 80 percent so you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control. Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. I'm an intuitive drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible. The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease! Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body. Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don't drink themselves into a stupor.

  1. EP321: Are your alcohol cravings physical or mental?

    1D AGO

    EP321: Are your alcohol cravings physical or mental?

    You think your cravings are a willpower problem. They're not. You think if you could just think differently, you'd drink differently. And that's exactly why nothing has worked. In this episode, I'm breaking down why the urge to drink starts in your body — not your brain — and giving you three red flags that your drinking is actually a symptom of something most high-achieving women refuse to look at. In this episode, you'll learn: The litmus test that reveals whether you can actually "take it or leave it" (be honest with yourself on this one) Why saying you're "not an emotional person" is the most dangerous thing you can believe about yourself Three everyday behaviors that are quietly dysregulating your nervous system — and setting you up to overdrink by evening The science of why you can't stop at two (it's called the biphasic line, and once you understand it, everything clicks) Why you wake up at 3am full of self-loathing — and why that voice isn't really you What's actually happening in your body between 6am and 6pm that makes evening-you a completely different person than morning-you Why "trying harder" is aimed at the wrong part of your brain   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    51 min
  2. EP320 Minisode: Why You Keep Breaking Your Own Rules About Drinking

    5D AGO

    EP320 Minisode: Why You Keep Breaking Your Own Rules About Drinking

    In this episode, Colleen continues sharing takeaways from her retreat with Dr. Amanda Hanson (midlifemuse) — and she names something that sits underneath so much of women's drinking, overgiving, perfectionism, and burnout: conditioning. Not just childhood conditioning — cultural conditioning. Colleen explains how patriarchy functions like an invisible rulebook: the expectations women follow without ever agreeing to them. Be good. Be pleasant. Be grateful. Don't be angry. Don't be too much. Don't embarrass anyone. Don't need too much. Don't take up space. Don't make people uncomfortable. And over time, those rules don't just shape behavior — they create trauma. They train women to silence their truth, distrust their instincts, and prioritize everyone else's emotional experience over their own. And when a woman is disconnected from her needs, her voice, and her power, escapism becomes inevitable. That's why Colleen connects this conversation directly to emotional sobriety: freedom isn't just about alcohol. It's about ending self-abandonment, taking radical ownership of your emotional life, and becoming the kind of woman who can handle discomfort without shrinking, pleasing, or numbing. 🔑 Key Takeaways How culture trains women to abandon themselves to stay safe Why patriarchy is a trauma system, not a debate topic How women unconsciously enforce the rules by judging other women Why "going along to get along" is survival, not character How escapism becomes the nervous system's only outlet Why emotional sobriety requires self-trust more than self-control The reframe: not "tear it down," but rise into power This is a reminder that you're not here to become a "better woman." You're here to become a Free woman. You don't need to be "ready." You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are. Start With A Discovery Call ~ CLICK HERE.    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    21 min
  3. EP319: The #1 skill that will reduce your drinking without (much) willpower

    FEB 10

    EP319: The #1 skill that will reduce your drinking without (much) willpower

    You told yourself this morning you weren't going to drink tonight. But now that it's time to make that decision, it feels impossible to say no. That moment is exactly what Colleen breaks down in this episode — because the path forward requires you to understand that this is not a lack of discipline and it's not a willpower problem. The relief you feel when you take that first sip has nothing to do with alcohol. It's about what's been happening inside your body all day long — the dumpster fire of stress and anxiety that has chronically become your state of normal. In this episode, Colleen teaches you the foundational skill that changes the way you move through your entire day, so that by evening, instead of telling yourself no, you're telling yourself yes — and there are a lot more options on the menu than just drinking. In This Episode: The two versions of you: regulated vs. dysregulated, and why you're a completely different decision-maker in each state Why your body isn't craving alcohol — it's craving relief The difference between skills and strategies, and why strategies fail without this foundational skill Practical strategies that work when you're regulated: Delay Don't Deny, mental rehearsal, talking to your tomorrow self, and extracting the lesson instead of spiraling in shame The RISE framework: Recognize, Integrate, Strategize, Embody What it takes to become the version of you who can take or leave alcohol   You don't need to be "ready." You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are. Start with a Discovery Call. CLICK HERE. Uncover just how supportive a community of women can be when we are all co-creating positive change with intention and clarity.   Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    45 min
  4. EP318: Want to know why some women can take or leave alcohol?

    FEB 6

    EP318: Want to know why some women can take or leave alcohol?

    Do you want to know what's different about the women who can genuinely take or leave alcohol? And why it feels impossible for you to be "more like them?" In this episode, I'm giving you a sneak peak of my new masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it--why some women can and how you can too. The masterclass isn't even on my website yet--you'll watch it right on YouTube.  Click Here to WATCH The Masterclass Also, I'm running a Love Yourself campaign in honor of Valentine's Day. If you book a call and decide to join The Next Chapter, you'll get $2,000 off ! Click Here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL The call is how you lock in the discount — and it's a real conversation, not a sales pitch. Even if you just have questions, book it. That's what it's for.

    8 min
  5. EP317 Why talk therapy isn't enough to change your drinking with Dr. Amanda Hanson

    FEB 3

    EP317 Why talk therapy isn't enough to change your drinking with Dr. Amanda Hanson

    I was one of the most therapized people you've ever met. I knew my triggers. I'd unpacked my daddy issues, my relationship with my mom, my insecurity, my eating disorders, problems in my marriage. I cognitively understood what triggered me and why I wanted to drink so much. And that did f**k-all to reduce my cravings. Which is how I know that awareness isn't enough. Understanding the pattern doesn't break the pattern. And talk therapy—as valuable as it is—didn't change how I felt in my body.  Today's guest is Dr. Amanda Hanson, a clinical psychologist who spent the first half of her 27-year career practicing traditional therapy—until she realized all that talking wasn't actually helping women change. What she discovered instead will completely transformed how you think about emotions, nervous system regulation, and why so many of us numb instead of feel. We go deep in this conversation. We talk about why women are taught to source their safety outside of themselves—and what happens when you stop. We talk about the rage release practice that cracked me open at her retreat. We talk about aging, beauty, and the cultural scam that keeps women distracted from their real power. And we talk about what it actually takes to stop abandoning yourself. If you've done the therapy, read the books, understand your patterns—and you're still stuck—this episode is going to show you what's missing. In this episode, we cover: → Why traditional talk therapy often isn't enough to change behavior  → The difference between being emotionally dysregulated and being fully alive → How self-abandonment leads to numbing (wine, food, scrolling) → What a rage release and grief release practices look like  → How to give yourself the things you've been waiting for someone else to give you → Aging, beauty, and refusing to be complicit in a system designed to keep women small   Dr. Amanda Hanson is a clinical psychologist with 27 years of experience who now works with women in ways radically different from her traditional training. She is the host of the podcast Things Your Mother Never Told You and creator of the Magnetic retreat experience. Find her on Instagram @midlife.muse or at AmandaHanson.com   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    58 min
  6. EP316 Minisode: Next Time You Want To Numb Your Emotions With Alcohol, Try This Instead

    JAN 30

    EP316 Minisode: Next Time You Want To Numb Your Emotions With Alcohol, Try This Instead

    In this episode, Colleen shares a raw, surprising takeaway from a recent retreat — one that had nothing to do with learning new concepts and everything to do with experiencing her body in a new way. What began as deep discomfort around words like sensuality and sexual energy opened into a realization many women quietly live with: when you've been taught to fear, suppress, or perform your body for others, you often shut down far more than sexuality — you shut down joy, creativity, pleasure, and aliveness. And when that energy stays blocked, the body looks for relief wherever it can find it. Colleen explores how drinking, numbing, and emotional shutdown aren't moral failures or cravings for "bad behavior," but attempts to regulate trapped energy in a body that hasn't felt safe to move, express, or feel. She explains the difference between processing trauma cognitively and liberating energy physically — and why movement, music, and instinctive expression can unlock more healing than insight alone.   🔑 Key Takeaways Why blocked sensual and creative energy often shows up as numbness or drinking How purity culture and performative sexuality disconnect women from their bodies The difference between sexual energy and sexual behavior Why movement is a powerful form of emotional regulation How suppressing instinctive expression drains energy and joy Why healing doesn't always come from "working through it" — sometimes it comes from moving through it How reconnecting with your body creates relief without numbing   This episode is about reclaiming your body as your own — not for a partner, not for performance, not for approval — but as a source of power, pleasure, and presence. It's a reminder that the body doesn't want to be fixed — it wants to be seen and felt.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    22 min
  7. EP315 What I do the morning after I drink too much

    JAN 27

    EP315 What I do the morning after I drink too much

    I woke up a little hungover this morning. I had a third glass of wine I didn't need. And instead of spiraling into shame, I did what I always do now—I grabbed my journal and got curious. In this episode, I'm walking you through exactly what I do the morning after I drink too much. The four mindset tools that set me up to learn instead of spiral into shame. The journaling framework I use to extract the lesson. And what I discovered about why my mind and body were out of sync. But I'm also being honest: this process only works if you're in a certain place in your journey. If shame and frustration are still running the show, this episode might feel overwhelming. If that's you, I'll explain what to do instead. What I cover: → Why another drink feels like a good idea when your nervous system is stressed → The four mindset tools you need to expand your perspective so you can extract a valuable lesson → How to tell the difference between your conscious intentions and subconscious habits → Why willpower doesn't work when you're dysregulated → What to do if this process feels impossible (you've got to clear the shame first) → The four phases of this journey and how to know where you are This episode is for you if: You tend to overdrink and you're tired of the shame spiral You want to actually learn from your mistakes so you can stop repeating them You're curious about what it looks like to change your drinking without white-knuckling You want to understand why some approaches work for some people and not others You're ready to figure out where you are in your journey and what you actually need If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    38 min
  8. EP314 Minisode: How to pull yourself out of a funk without pouring a drink

    JAN 23

    EP314 Minisode: How to pull yourself out of a funk without pouring a drink

    In this episode, Colleen responds to a question many women hit right after real momentum begins: What if I slip back? What if the funk comes back and I lose everything I've built? Using a recent coaching call — and her own very real 5 a.m. spiral — she breaks down why the goal of emotional sobriety isn't avoiding hard days, negative thoughts, or uncomfortable emotions. It's learning how to recognize them early and change your relationship to them before they hijack your nervous system and run the day. Colleen explains why awareness is most of mental health, how negative thought loops become habits, and what actually separates "good" mental health from bad: who's driving the car — you, or your mind. She walks through the five core attributes of a healthy mindset and shows how shifting perspective first is what makes action, clarity, and forward motion possible. This episode reframes funks as normal, growth as uncomfortable, and success as the ability to take ownership in real time — not the absence of struggle.   🔑 Key Takeaways Why the goal isn't avoiding funks — it's changing how you respond to them How awareness interrupts negative thought spirals before they take over Why mental health is a skill, not a personality trait The difference between being driven by your mind vs. driving it The five attributes of a healthy, powerful mindset Why feeling better comes before changing your circumstances How internal locus of control creates momentum, resilience, and freedom This episode is a reminder that you don't lose progress because you wake up in a funk — you lose progress when you let the funk decide who you are and how you show up.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you're struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen's NEW Q&A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    23 min
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4.9
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About

Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by 80 percent so you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control. Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. I'm an intuitive drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible. The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease! Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body. Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don't drink themselves into a stupor.

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