It's Not About the Alcohol

Colleen Freeland
  • 4.9 (133)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by 80 percent so you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control. Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. I'm an intuitive drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible. The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease! Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body. Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don't drink themselves into a stupor.

  1. Ep333: Three Simple Practices To Improve Your Willpower TONIGHT

    2D AGO

    Ep333: Three Simple Practices To Improve Your Willpower TONIGHT

    You made the promise this morning,"I'm not going to drink tonight." You meant it. Then the day happened. And by 6pm, the drink was in your hand like that was the plan all along. This isn't a willpower problem. It's a capacity problem. And once you understand what's actually happening in your nervous system between 6am and 6pm, this stops feeling like a weakness or a character flaw. In this episode, I'm breaking down why evening-you can't keep the promises morning-you makes, and giving you three practices, placed at specific times of day, that actually allow you to access the willpower (you already have) TONIGHT. You'll learn: Why willpower is a finite resource — and why you've already spent it by the time you need it most Why behavioral goals ("I'm only having two") consistently fail, and how to set an emotional goal you'll actually stick to Three nervous system practices — one for morning, one for lunch, one for the transition between day and evening — that work upstream of your alcohol cravings This episode is for the woman who is tired of blaming herself for needing to relieve her stress, and who's ready to learn how to live in a way she doesn't need to escape her own life.  Resources mentioned: Watch The Free 45 Minute Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.  If you'd like to learn more about our Emotional Sobriety Coaching programs, Click Here To Schedule A Free Discovery Call

    44 min
  2. EP332 Minisode: Become Your Own Source Of Comfort (So You Don't Need Alcohol)

    6D AGO

    EP332 Minisode: Become Your Own Source Of Comfort (So You Don't Need Alcohol)

    In this episode, Colleen names something most women have never been taught to do: have a relationship with themselves. Not self-improvement. Not fixing. Not managing behavior. Actual relationship. Because when you don't know who you are, what you want, or how to meet your own needs, alcohol steps in and fills that space. Colleen walks through why so many women reach midlife feeling disconnected, uncertain, and dependent on escape—and how that's not a personal failure, it's conditioning. You were taught how to be good. You were never taught how to know yourself. And emotional sobriety isn't just about removing the drink. It's about rebuilding that internal connection so you don't need it. 🔑 Key Takeaways Why drinking becomes the default when you don't know what you want How identity gets shaped by conditioning, not conscious choice The concept of becoming both the giver and receiver of your own attention Why most relationships feel unfulfilling (and what's actually missing) How disconnection from self creates loneliness—even when you're not alone The shift from seeking needs externally → sourcing them internally Practical ways to start building a relationship with yourself If you're tired of feeling trapped and tired of drinking just to feel relief, then Click Here To Book A Call With Us.   Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    26 min
  3. EP331: Workaholism and Over-Drinking Are the Same Problem — Here's the One Shift That Fixes Both

    MAR 20

    EP331: Workaholism and Over-Drinking Are the Same Problem — Here's the One Shift That Fixes Both

    What if the habit you're most proud of — your drive, your work ethic, your ability to get things done — is quietly running on the same fuel as the habit you're trying to change? In this episode, Colleen gets personal. She walks through the exact moment she diagnosed herself with workaholism — not because she objectively works too much, but because of WHY she's been working so much. And the reason turns out to be the same neurological shift she's spent years helping women recognize in their drinking. This one covers: The difference between positive and negative reinforcement — and why any behavior you use to avoid discomfort will eventually become compulsive Why workaholism and alcoholism are two versions of the same truth How to know if you're doing something because it genuinely adds pleasure to your life or if you're doing it to subtract or avoid pain The two-question self-diagnostic you can apply in real time to any pattern — drinking, working, scrolling, anything What it means to set an emotional goal instead of a behavioral one — and why that's the only strategy that can actually help you change Colleen also gets honest about how her drinking frequency has shifted alongside her work patterns — and what both behaviors are telling her about what she's been avoiding. This is not a story about work replacing alcohol. It's a story about what happens when two coping tools are running in tandem, and neither one is solving the problem underneath. Resources mentioned: Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.  If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call

    43 min
  4. EP330 Minisode: How to leverage your dopamine so that alcohol is less appealing

    MAR 20

    EP330 Minisode: How to leverage your dopamine so that alcohol is less appealing

    In this episode, Colleen revisits the biochemistry of change through the lens of dopamine — not as a science lesson, but as a practical explanation for why so many women stay stuck in cycles they genuinely want to change. She breaks down the difference between motivation and overwhelm, and why most attempts to change drinking fail before they ever really begin: the goal is too big, the thinking is too broad, and the brain never actually learns to enjoy the behaviors that would make change sustainable. Instead of focusing on the outcome — drinking less, losing weight, getting your life together — Colleen explains why real change happens when you focus on the inputs. The thoughts, behaviors, and tiny repeated actions that teach your brain, one moment at a time, that the new way actually feels good. This is where emotional sobriety gets very practical. Because if the only thing motivating you is shame, fear, or self-disgust, eventually you will burn out. But when you learn how to work with dopamine on purpose — when you learn how to romanticize, savor, and reinforce the behaviors that support the life you want — change stops feeling like punishment and starts feeling like momentum. 🔑 Key Takeaways Why dopamine drives motivation, not just pleasure How overwhelm shuts down behavior change before it can take root Why shame-based goals eventually backfire The difference between focusing on outcomes vs. inputs How to build intrinsic motivation around drinking less Why sustainable change depends on enjoying the process, not just wanting the result This episode is a reminder that the goal isn't to force yourself to become someone new. It's to teach your brain to enjoy being her. Things start to change when you stop telling yourself you have no choice. If you're tired of feeling trapped and tired of drinking just to feel relief, then Click Here To Book A Call With Us.   Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    30 min
  5. EP329: Why your brain classifies alcohol as medicine, and how microdosing psilocybin changes that w/ Victoria Lee Starr

    MAR 17

    EP329: Why your brain classifies alcohol as medicine, and how microdosing psilocybin changes that w/ Victoria Lee Starr

    If you've ever reached for a glass of wine at the end of a hard day without really deciding to, this episode is going to explain exactly why that happens — and why it has nothing to do with willpower or self-control. Your brain isn't misbehaving. It's being efficient. Over hundreds of repetitions, it has learned that alcohol is the fastest available route to nervous system relief — and it has built a neural pathway so well-worn that the decision happens before you're even conscious of it. That's not a character flaw or a lack of willpower. That's neuroscience. In this conversation, I'm sitting back down with Victoria Star — breathwork facilitator, midlife guide, and one of the most grounded voices I know on nervous system healing — to talk about what microdosing psilocybin actually does in the brain, why so many high-achieving women are turning to plant medicine in midlife, and what any of this has to do with your relationship with alcohol. Here's what makes this conversation different: psilocybin and alcohol operate on the same neurological terrain. They're both affecting the ratio of automatic, subconscious thinking to conscious, present-moment choice. Understanding how one works gives you a clearer picture of why the other has such a grip — and what it actually takes to loosen it. In this episode: Why your brain classifies alcohol as medicine — and why that's a rational response, not a moral failing What microdosing psilocybin actually does neurologically (and why it's not what most people think) The difference between a sub-perceptual dose and a hero's journey — and why that distinction matters Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.  If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call About My Guest, Victoria Lee Starr: Victoria is a Spiritual Outlaw and Midlife Midwife who guides women through the sacred season of reinvention using breathwork for transformation, guided microdosing plant medicine support, somatic ritual, and emotional excavation. Connect with Victoria: Instagram & Facebook: @victorialeestarr Website: https://www.victorialeestarr.com/

    46 min
  6. EP328 Minisode: The #1 Lie That Makes You Want To Drink

    MAR 13

    EP328 Minisode: The #1 Lie That Makes You Want To Drink

    In this minisode, Colleen explores one of the most powerful lies we tell ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or stuck: "I don't have a choice." It sounds practical, even responsible. But the moment you believe it, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. You feel trapped, resentful, and powerless, and that's often when the drink starts looking like relief. Through a breakthrough coaching session, Colleen shares the story of a woman whose boundary-crossing mother lives next door and constantly invades her privacy. The stress was making her physically sick. She came looking for strategies to deal with her mom. But the real breakthrough came when she realized the truth: she wasn't trapped… she was making a choice. And the moment that truth landed, her nervous system settled and the solution became obvious. Colleen also shares her own experience staying in a marriage years longer than she wanted to, and how radical honesty with herself ultimately gave her the power to change her life. 🔑 Key Takeaways Why the belief "I don't have a choice" dysregulates your nervous system The difference between being trapped and making a difficult choice How feelings of powerlessness fuel the urge to drink Why radical honesty is often the first step toward real freedom Things start to change when you stop telling yourself you have no choice. If you're tired of feeling trapped and tired of drinking just to feel relief, then Click Here To Book A Call With Us.   Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    19 min
  7. EP327: Why Getting Sober Didn't Fix My Drinking Problem (And What Actually Did)

    MAR 10

    EP327: Why Getting Sober Didn't Fix My Drinking Problem (And What Actually Did)

    You've been told your drinking is the problem. That if you could just control the behavior — stay sober long enough, count your days, follow the rules — the shame would go away. But what if it's the other way around? In this episode, Colleen gets personal about her three years of sobriety and what she discovered underneath all that "perfect behavior" — a lifetime of shame that started long before she ever picked up a bottle of wine. She breaks down why shameful behaviors come FROM shame (not the other way around), why sobriety can become just another form of performing your way around the real problem, and what actually works to break the cycle. In this episode, you'll learn: The critical difference between guilt and shame — and why most women are living in shame and calling it guilt Why the shame driving your drinking didn't start with your drinking — it started in childhood How perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-functioning, and control are all shame management strategies that require more coping mechanisms like drinking Why sobriety motivated by shame is built on a fault line — and what happens when it cracks Colleen's personal story of trading one escape hatch (alcohol) for another (perfectionism and productivity addiction) — and what finally broke the pattern Key takeaway: Your drinking isn't driving the shame cycle. Shame is driving the drinking cycle. And until you address the shame underneath, no amount of willpower, sobriety challenges, or rule-following will create lasting change. Watch The FREE Masterclass: The science behind take it or leave it–why some women can and how you can too.  If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity... Click here to schedule a discovery call

    59 min
  8. EP326 Minisode: Three Mindset Shifts That Changed My Relationship With Alcohol

    MAR 6

    EP326 Minisode: Three Mindset Shifts That Changed My Relationship With Alcohol

    In this episode, Colleen shares a coaching moment that started with a simple scheduling mistake and turned into a powerful lesson about belief systems. When a client didn't get her breakthrough session as planned, she chose to see the delay differently: not as something happening to her, but something happening for her. That mindset opened the door to a deeper coaching conversation about leadership, standards, and the discomfort that comes with owning your power. Colleen uses that moment to explore something bigger... The beliefs we carry shape how we interpret everything that happens in our lives. Instead of assuming that delays, setbacks, or mistakes mean something has gone wrong, what if they're actually creating the exact conditions you need for the next step? She shares three Colleen-isms that have fundamentally changed the way she moves through life: I am always exactly where I'm supposed to be. This is happening for me, not to me. If I didn't get what I wanted, I got what I needed. These beliefs don't eliminate pain or difficulty. But they do transform how you experience them — shifting you out of victimhood and back into agency. If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity ---> Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL   Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

    22 min
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4.9
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About

Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by 80 percent so you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control. Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. I'm an intuitive drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible. The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease! Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body. Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don't drink themselves into a stupor.

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