The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

Sara Bybee Fisk
  • 5.0 (131)
  • Alternative Health
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to the Ex Good Girl Podcast! I’m Sara Bybee Fisk, the Stop People Pleasing Coach. If you feel exhausted from constant people pleasing and perfectionism, and you are ready to stop but you don’t know how, this podcast is for YOU! I will help you learn to stop making other people comfortable at your own expense. I can show you a roadmap you can use to train yourself to stop abandoning your own desires and let go of the fear of what others will think. If you are ready to stop pretending everything is fine, get out of the cycle of doubt, guilt, and resentment AND step into a life of power and freedom, I can help!

  1. 1d ago

    Episode 173 - The Motivational Triad: Why Avoiding the Hard Conversation Feels So Good

    Is there a difficult conversation you know you need to have but keep putting off? You may have noticed that every time you decide to wait, you feel a little better even though you’re avoiding something you actually want to do. That relief is real, and in this episode, we’re breaking down the motivational triad and why people-pleasing and avoiding conflict can feel so good in the short term, even when they’re creating results you don’t want. Because once you understand what’s happening, you can start practicing a different response: having the hard conversation instead of dropping hints that something is wrong, waiting for the other person to change, or continuing to endure a situation you don’t want to be in. Here’s what I cover: A framework called the motivational triad that describes the three things human beings are strongly motivated to do: seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energyWhy knowing something isn’t working long-term doesn’t erase the short-term rewardHow overthinking can become another way of avoiding discomfort while making you feel like you’re solving the problemWhat it looks like to have compassion for your brain while you learn a new way of respondingWhy the capacity to tolerate discomfort and take care of yourself matters more than false certainty that a difficult conversation will go well Reserve your seat for Sara’s next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

  2. Jul 29

    Episode 172 - Are Your Thoughts Keeping You Stuck?

    How often do you have thoughts like, "I hate doing this," "I'm bad at this," or "What's the point?" and brush them aside? We often push through our days without stopping to question the stories running through our minds, but what if those seemingly small thoughts are pointing to something much deeper? In this episode, I'm sharing why learning to notice your thoughts and getting curious about what's underneath them can change the way you move through your life. The next version of you is possible, and creating the life you want sometimes starts with uncovering the beliefs you've been holding onto so you can finally let them go. Here’s what I cover: A recent thought that led me to uncover the deeper fears and beliefs hiding underneathHow somatic work helps reach the thoughts that can’t be accessed by cognitive behavior therapy aloneHow reflecting on a 12-year cycle inspired me to let go of old patterns and cultivate new energyWhy you can choose what you believe on purpose and how that can transform your lifeHow my upcoming free workshop will help you find the conscious and subconscious beliefs quietly running the show Reserve your seat for Sara’s next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

  3. Jul 22

    Episode 171 - The Small People-Pleasing Behaviors That Add Up

    Most women are familiar with what people-pleasing looks like. You say yes when you mean no, avoid conflict, or never ask for what you need. But some of the most exhausting people-pleasing doesn't happen in those big, obvious moments. It happens in tiny ways that have become so automatic we don’t notice them. In this episode, we're looking at these subtle habits through the lens of micro people-pleasing: the invisible, everyday behaviors driven by your nervous system that quietly steal your time, energy, and attention. Once you understand these small tendencies, you can begin interrupting them before they add up. Here's what I cover: The surprising math behind how much time we spend replaying conversations and trying to keep other people happyWhat micro people-pleasing looks like in everyday life and how it differs from more obvious people-pleasing behaviorsA self-assessment exercise to help you identify your own micro people-pleasing patternsWhy micro people-pleasing behaviors aren't conscious choices but responses designed to help you feel safeHow practicing "the pause" helps you interrupt both big and micro people-pleasing habits Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

  4. Jul 15

    Episode 170 - The People-Pleasing Conversation I Had With My Teenager

    People-pleasing tendencies start much earlier in life than many of us realize, and there comes a point when children need to begin unlearning those behaviors so they don't carry them into adulthood. Inspired by a conversation I recently had with my 16-year-old son, I’m breaking down people-pleasing in a way that teens can understand and showing how the same tools I use with my coaching clients can help younger generations too. Learning to recognize these patterns and find your voice early is such a gift. Whether you're sharing this episode with a teen in your life or using these concepts to help guide and encourage them, I hope this episode gives you both more confidence to start speaking up. Here’s what I cover: The conversation that inspired this episode and why so many teens struggle to speak upWhy people pleasing begins in childhood as a survival strategy before it starts holding us backThe difference between the discomfort of staying stuck and the discomfort that comes with growthWhy people pleasing can actually damage the relationships you're trying to protectThree steps to help your teen practice speaking up and build confidence one conversation at a time Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

  5. Jul 8

    Episode 169 - What I’m Working On Right Now: What Will They Think of Me?

    We all assume other people have it more figured out than we do. But beneath so many of our struggles is the same familiar good girl question: How am I going to be perceived? In this episode, I'm sharing three places where that question is still showing up in my own life: aging, body image, and using my voice. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and think they have it all figured out, especially in the self-help world. That's why I think it matters that you know I'm on the same path, working through many of the same struggles I teach about. Today, you’ll hear how I’m working through it just like you. Here’s what I cover: How the beauty industry profits from teaching women that the way they look is a problem to solveWhat coaching women through weight loss taught me about body image and good girl conditioningThe difference between what you logically know and the programming that still shapes your self-perceptionWhy women speaking up without worrying about how they're perceived has the power to change the worldHow learning to love both your logical self and your conditioned "good girl" creates more peace Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

  6. Jul 1

    Episode 168 - What is Your Silence Teaching Your Relationships?

    We often think of relationships as something we have: a marriage, a friendship, a relationship with our parents. But relationships are more like living things—they have their own patterns and ecosystems that two nervous systems create together over time. Every conversation shapes them, and every silence does too. In this episode, we're exploring what your silence is teaching your relationships and how speaking more honestly can build the intimacy and connection so many of us want, instead of isolating us from the people we care about. Here’s what I cover: How psychologist Carol Gilligan found that many girls grow up believing they have to choose between having a voice and preserving relationshipsWhy staying quiet was a brilliant survival strategy in childhood but can keep us from building intimacy as adultsHow your silence quietly teaches people what does and does not belong in your relationshipsPractical examples of how speaking up can strengthen relationships instead of damaging themQuestions to help you notice what your relationships have learned from your silence and begin changing the pattern Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

  7. Jun 24

    Episode 167 - The Skill That Improves Every Difficult Conversation

    Most hard conversations don't start with an invitation. They start with something that sounds more like a verdict: You never listen to me. You don't respect my time. You don't care about my feelings. By the time we say those things, we've already decided what happened, what it means, and who's responsible. But those assumptions rarely resolve conflict. In this episode, I walk you through a shift that can completely change the quality of difficult conversations: moving from certainty to curiosity. When you learn to ask questions rather than make statements, you create more opportunities for connection. Here's what I cover: Why certainty feels so convincing and the psychological biases that make us believe our interpretation is the truthHow to make observations without turning them into stories about someone else's intentionsA three-step formula for approaching difficult conversations without certainty: observation, impact, and curiosityWhy curiosity can be hard to access when your nervous system is activated and certainty feels saferPractical questions you can use to create more understanding and meaningful resolution in your relationships Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

  8. Jun 10

    Episode 166 - There is No Time Limit to Talk About It

    How often do you finally realize what you want to say hours, days, months, or even years after a misunderstanding or disagreement? Some people need time to process, but it's easy to think you've missed your chance once the moment has passed. Learning how to have hard conversations has changed my life more than almost anything else, and I've noticed a rule many of us follow without ever questioning it: after enough time passes, you're no longer allowed to bring something up. In this episode, I'm unpacking where that rule came from, who it benefits, and the rule I've replaced it with so more women can stop carrying unresolved hurt alone and start saying what they need to say. Here's what I cover: How so many of the rules we live by were just made up and never questionedWhat I call a “crockpot brain” and why some people need more time to respondTwo questions to help you decide if something still needs to be addressedThe steps to starting a hard conversation, no matter how much time has passedA conversation that allowed me to resolve my hurt after carrying it for four years Join me LIVE for a free workshop on June 11 at 9am PT or June 24th at 1pm PT. Register for Speak Up here: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: sarafisk.coach pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations instagram.com/sarafiskcoach facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

See All (182)

5
out of 5
131 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Ex Good Girl Podcast! I’m Sara Bybee Fisk, the Stop People Pleasing Coach. If you feel exhausted from constant people pleasing and perfectionism, and you are ready to stop but you don’t know how, this podcast is for YOU! I will help you learn to stop making other people comfortable at your own expense. I can show you a roadmap you can use to train yourself to stop abandoning your own desires and let go of the fear of what others will think. If you are ready to stop pretending everything is fine, get out of the cycle of doubt, guilt, and resentment AND step into a life of power and freedom, I can help!

Information

  • Creator
    Sara Bybee Fisk
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    182
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 null All Rights Reserved.
  • Show Website
    The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

You Might Also Like