The Calm Confidence Podcast

Charles Perry
  • 5.0 (5)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Social anxiety sucks. I am a former social anxiety sufferer who has worked as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for 10+ years. I combine my personal and professional experience to give you practical tools to help you face your fears and become a more confident and authentic you. Email questions/topics to: info@calm-confidence-coaching.com Newsletter and Services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence Disclaimer: This is NOT Therapy and is not a replacement for therapy. Listening to this podcast does not constitute a client/therapist relationship.

  1. 3D AGO

    How To Talk To Strangers

    The smallest interactions can consume us with anxiety. I know firsthand how a simple "hello" can turn the nervous system into hyperdrive. We assume the worst of people and the worst of ourselves. The truth is, most people want to talk to you. Most people will be pleasant, and the ones who aren't, aren't for us. In this episode I discuss how you can take a gradual approach to overcoming your fear of approach, and eventually how to turn absolute strangers in to conversation buddies.

    15 min

  2. FEB 12

    Hating Yourself Into Self Respect Doesn’t Work

    Self Improvement has become as divided as American Politics. On one end we have people who believe we should accept ourselves no matter what. On the other end, we have people who believe you should essentially verbally abuse yourself into discipline. Neither of these strategies are actually effective. In this video I discuss how you can actually talk to yourself so you can build a healthy inner dialogue that will build confidence and keep you motivated, without hating yourself or thinking you're the best thing since sliced bread. FREE Confidence Manual: https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/s/The-Calm-Confidence-Manual-Google-Docs.pdf Interested in joining the virtual speaking lab? https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/#speaking-lab Podcast, socials and services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

    12 min

  3. FEB 1

    The Excuses We Make

    Your social anxiety does not want to get better. It likes to feel safe and comfortable. Who can blame it, it's hard to challenge yourself when you are so overcome by fear. What we don't realize is that our anxiety can be very sneaky. It will subconsciously invent reasons why you shouldn't go out and talk to to people today. "It's too cold," "my car isn't working..." anything to stay inisde and away from people. The first step here is to acknowledge what is going on so we can stop sabotaging ourselves. Interested in joining the virtual speaking lab? https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/#speaking-lab Podcast, socials and services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

    11 min

  4. JAN 23

    The MOST DANGEROUS Mindset For Socially Anxious People

    Sometimes the things we think are protecting us are acting the things that are hurting us, and that is the case for social anxiety. Beliefs like "but if i do that, it will be awkward," or "if I say that then they won't like me," feel like they are protecting us from shame and humiliation, when in reality they are keeping us stuck in our anxiety. Ultimately if we want to be free of social anxiety we need to embrace these painful emotions, not run from them. Interested in joining the virtual speaking lab? https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/#speaking-lab Podcast, socials and services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

    9 min

  5. JAN 16

    How Introverts Become Socially Anxious

    The world doesn't appreciate quiet people. When introverts are young, they are more than happy being alone. But then the people start telling them that this is not acceptable. "Why are you so quiet?" "Why don't you talk?" "Don't you have anything to say?" After a while we start to internalize this. Is there something wrong with me? Am I weird for wanting to be alone. We start to become self conscious and doubt our own experience. We try to change to fit the world but it doesn't work. Now we feel pressure to be something we're not and we can't deliver. What if we went back to our roots? What if it was ok to be quiet? Maybe there isn't any pressure after all. Podcast, socials and services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

    10 min

  6. JAN 8

    Talkin' Social Anxiety w/ Dr. Vincent Barbieri

    In this episode I discuss social anxiety with Dr. Vincent Barbieri. Dr. Barbieri and I graduated from the same high school, but barely knew each other because we were both secretly struggling with social anxiety. In this episode we explore or individual experiences and what we've learned through life and through our work as practitioners. Dr. Vincent Barbieri believes that social anxiety never truly goes away, but we don't have to let it run our life anymore. By adjusting our expectations, challenging distorted beliefs and fulling embracing awkwardness, anxiety and vulnerability, we can find peace with ourselves and others. Dr. Barbieri has a PhD in Clinical Psychology from American University. He’s been practicing for 8 years in individual and couples therapy. During his PhD he studied borderline personality disorder and worked as a DBT therapist both doing individual and group therapy. He currently lives in San Diego where he works full time as a therapist at his own practice. He also a podcast called 2 Dudes Talkin’ Therapy with my colleague Dr. Jacob Ambrose. Dr. Barbieri's socials: YouTube: https://youtube.com/@talkintherapy?si=MygnVSu01Sp8TQso Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1sg57gFa1I34sO5FoXeZoU?si=bd6648440a694d6b TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@psychdocphd4 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_vincent_barbieri_phd/?hl=en Website: https://www.vincentbarbieriphd.com/

    57 min

  7. JAN 2

    Are You Just Faking It?

    "Fake it till you make it," they say, but does it actually work? Can you actually fake your confidence long enough that you will eventually feel it? Yes and no. Putting on a performance that doesn't feel genuine probably won't get you far. Sure you may be able to start getting used to the anxiety, but it's not you. If you have to pretend every interaction, what's the point? For many people, this strategy doesn't help acclimate them to the anxiety anyway. So what's the solution? First we have to figure out who we are? Who would we be if we were not anxious? How would we act, what would we say? If we can establish a sense of self that feels genuine, but perhaps we are just not comfortable sharing yet, now we have our north star. We can "act" the way that feels like us. The reality is, everything feels like an act when you are anxious because it feels uncomfortable. But we have to recognize that just because we feel uncomfortable does not mean we are being fake, it simply means we have social anxiety.Interested in checking out the podcast or joining my newsletter? Check out my linktree: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence

    14 min

  8. 12/23/2025

    How To Stop Replaying Social Interactions

    Replaying social interaction and conversations is at the core of social anxiety. For many of us, the social situation itself is not the worst part of social anxiety, it's the agonizing pain of ruminating, criticizing and critiquing every aspect of what just happen. In this episode I explain the practical way to reverse your rumination so you can move on and live your life. Through a combination of mindfulness and useful and compassionate self talk, you can finally put your obsessive thoughts to rest. Interested in working with me?: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence Sources: Donohue, H. E., Modini, M., & Abbott, M. J. (2024). Psychological interventions for pre-event and post-event rumination in social anxiety: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 102, 102823. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2023.102823 Seinsche, R. J., et al. (2022). Social phobic beliefs mediate the relationship between post-event processing and social anxiety. Journal Name, Volume(Issue), page range. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8818836/ Vassilopoulos, S. P., Brouzos, A., & Moberly, N. J. (2015). The relationships between metacognition, anticipatory processing, and social anxiety. Behaviour Change, 32(2), 114–126. https://doi.org/10.1017/bec.2015.4

    17 min
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About

Social anxiety sucks. I am a former social anxiety sufferer who has worked as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for 10+ years. I combine my personal and professional experience to give you practical tools to help you face your fears and become a more confident and authentic you. Email questions/topics to: info@calm-confidence-coaching.com Newsletter and Services: https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence Disclaimer: This is NOT Therapy and is not a replacement for therapy. Listening to this podcast does not constitute a client/therapist relationship.

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