Rewired Sober

Kate Vitela
  • 5.0 (18)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Rewired Sober is a feminist sobriety podcast for women in midlife and early recovery who are done being talked down to. If you’ve quit drinking — or are thinking about it — and traditional recovery models left you feeling small, ashamed, or powerless, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. This podcast explores sobriety through neuroscience, nervous system regulation, and feminist self-trust, not moral failure or lifelong labels. Hosted by Kate, a board-certified addiction and mental health registered nurse with over two decades of experience, a nurse coach, and a SHE RECOVERS® coach, Rewired Sober bridges clinical science with lived experience. Kate brings a trauma-aware, no-shame lens to recovery — combining brain science, nervous system education, and soul-level inquiry to help women rebuild trust in themselves after alcohol. This podcast is for women asking: – Why does early sobriety feel so intense in my body and brain? – What’s actually happening neurologically when I stop drinking? – How do I rebuild self-trust after years of coping with alcohol? – Is there a way to recover without shame, obedience, or surrendering my intuition? Episodes blend science and soul — from how alcohol affects the female brain, to midlife nervous system shifts, to unlearning the cultural and patriarchal conditioning that taught women to numb, cope, and self-abandon. This is not a 12-step podcast. This is not a powerlessness model. And it’s not about fixing what was never broken. Rewired Sober is for women who want sobriety that makes them stronger, clearer, and more themselves — not smaller. If you’re sober and wondering now what? You’re in the right place.

  1. EP: 63 Deprogramming AA: From Helpful to Dogmatic — And What Happens When You Question the Cult Mentality.

    1D AGO

    EP: 63 Deprogramming AA: From Helpful to Dogmatic — And What Happens When You Question the Cult Mentality.

    What happens when a recovery program that once helped you… stops fitting who you’re becoming? In this episode, Kate sits down with Kirsten — known online as @sobrietybestie and host of the Sobriety Bestie podcast — to explore what it looks like to question Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) after years of participation. Kirsten spent 10 years in AA and has now been out for 5. Together, they discuss the complex reality that AA can be helpful for many people — while also examining how dogma, identity labels, and recovery folklore can become limiting or even harmful over time. This conversation explores topics rarely discussed openly, including: How experiences like trauma, neurodivergence, and mental health challenges are sometimes pathologized as “alcoholism”The psychological impact of labels like “dry drunk,” “defects,” and “restless, irritable, discontent”When recovery culture shifts from supportive to rigid or dogmaticAA folklore versus science-based understanding of behavior and changeMyths surrounding Bill Wilson and the founding narratives of AAWhy questioning recovery systems can provoke strong reactions — including backlash and hostilityThe fear many people feel when considering leaving a recovery communityRebuilding self-trust after years of outsourcing authorityWhether AA meets criteria associated with high-control groups — and why that question mattersWhat real freedom in recovery can look like outside traditional frameworks Kate also shares her own experience: AA was helpful early in sobriety, but over time began to feel increasingly rigid and disconnected from her evolving understanding of neuroscience, psychology, and emotional health. This is not an anti-recovery episode. It’s a conversation about autonomy, critical thinking, and honoring the complexity of healing. Because two things can be true at once: A system can help you survive — and you can still outgrow it. Mentioned In This Episode: Pathologizing normal human experience as alcoholismTrauma, neurodivergence, and mental health in recovery spacesBig Book culture and “Big Book thumpers”Bill Wilson, AA history, and founder mythologyRecovery folklore vs neuroscience and psychologyFear-based messaging in sobriety cultureDogma, identity, and belongingIs AA a cult? Examining the question thoughtfullyBacklash, hate mail, and stigma around questioning AAReclaiming inner authority and sovereignty in recovery Kirsten, known online as @sobrietybestie, is a recovery advocate and host of the Sobriety Bestie podcast. Her platform focuses on helping people deprogram from Alcoholics Anonymous culture and reclaim their identity, autonomy, and lives after leaving 12-step environments. WORK WITH KATE Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

    1h 1m
  2. EP 62: You Don't Manifest What You Want- You Manifest Who You Are with Simmy the Miracle Maker

    FEB 24

    EP 62: You Don't Manifest What You Want- You Manifest Who You Are with Simmy the Miracle Maker

    In this episode, Kate is joined by Simmy, founder of Miracle Maker 1111, for a conversation exploring the connection between belief, identity, energy, and manifestation. Together they unpack the idea that our internal world — our thoughts, expectations, emotions, and self-concept — shapes the life we experience. Simmy shares her step-by-step approach to manifestation, including the role of visualization, emotional embodiment, spiritual connection, and becoming the kind of person who expects good things to happen. Rather than framing manifestation as “wishful thinking,” this conversation explores how transformation happens when someone begins to see themselves differently, feel differently, and live from a new internal identity. Topics covered include: How thoughts and self-concept shape lived experienceVisualization as a tool for identity and behavior changeWhy embodiment matters more than positive thinkingBecoming the version of yourself who expects expansionEnergy, frequency, and the idea of alignmentThe role of spirituality and connection to something greaterWhat it means to “match the energy” of the life you wantManifesting health, confidence, change, and personal growthWhy real change requires internal coherence, not just external effort This episode bridges spirituality, identity work, and personal development for anyone interested in how inner change creates outer transformation — whether you call that manifestation, mindset, embodiment, or becoming. Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/ Guest Info: Simmy is a content creator and manifestation coach. She has been a management consultant for over a decade and is now following her passion of impacting and elevating lives through the power of manifestation. She runs the Miracle Makers_1111 page on Instagram. She explains manifestation from the lens of Neuroscience and Psychology. Her work centers on moving people out of limitation and into self-trust. She supports her clients through belief-rewiring tools, subconscious reprogramming and embodiment practices. IG: https://www.instagram.com/the_miracle_makers_1111/ Website: https://the-miracle-makers.com/

    47 min
  3. EP 61: Performative Wellness: Burnout, Self-Care, and Coming Back to the Basics with Dr. Jen Costanza

    FEB 17

    EP 61: Performative Wellness: Burnout, Self-Care, and Coming Back to the Basics with Dr. Jen Costanza

    Burnout isn’t just a personal problem—it’s a cultural one. In this episode, Kate sits down with former Sociology Professor turned Burnout Coach Dr. Jen Costanza for a refreshingly honest conversation about what it actually means to live in today’s world as a woman, a professional, and a human being with a nervous system. Together, they unpack how modern culture pressures women to perform wellness instead of experience it, why “having it all together” is often a lie, and how burnout is frequently a rational response to unrealistic expectations—not a personal failure. Dr. Jen shares openly about navigating imposter syndrome despite holding a PhD from Ivy League institution Brown University, and how even highly educated, accomplished women still struggle with self-doubt—especially when showing up online as coaches, educators, and thought leaders. This conversation is grounding, intelligent, funny, and deeply validating—especially for high-functioning women who are tired of trying to optimize themselves into worthiness. In this episode, we explore:Why burnout is both a nervous system issue and a societal issueThe cultural pressure for women to perform wellness instead of practicing itHow “wine culture” became a socially acceptable coping mechanism for overwhelmed womenThe invisible emotional labor women carry—and its impact on the bodyImposter syndrome, even with elite credentials and years of experienceWhat it’s really like to show up on social media as a coach, educator, or professionalOwning your voice and expertise without needing to over-prove yourselfWhy sustainable healing doesn’t require a complex or expensive wellness strategyThe overlooked power of foundational practices:SleepNutritionPurposeful movementNervous system regulationHow breathwork supports emotional regulation, safety in the body, and burnout recoveryRemembering joy, play, and pleasure as essential—not optional—parts of healing The takeaway:You don’t need a perfect morning routine. You don’t need to buy your way into healing. And you’re not behind—you’re likely just burned out. Sometimes the most powerful path forward is the simplest one: tending to your body, telling the truth, resting without guilt, and remembering that you are already enough. Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/ About Dr. Jen CostanzaDr. Jen Costanza is a former sociology professor turned burnout coach, and breathwork facilitator who studies the intersection of identity, culture, performance, and wellbeing. Her work centers around helping people move out of survival mode and reconnect with sustainable ways of living—without the pressure to constantly self-optimize. Connect with Guest Jennifer Costanza: @rooted.life Website: https://www.rooted.life Free Burnout Recovery Guide: https://rootedlife.myflodesk.com/map

    43 min

  4. FEB 10

    EP 60: Celebrating 8 Years Sober at New York Fashion Week: Self-Trust, Style, and Finally Being Myself

    In this raw solo episode of Rewired Sober, Kate celebrates eight years of sobriety while recording from New York City during her annual Fashion Week trip. This isn’t a highlight reel — it’s an honest reflection on self-trust, identity, boundaries, feminism, spirituality, grief, creativity, and what actually changes when you build a life you don’t need to escape from. Kate explores how sobriety reshaped everything: how she dresses, how she speaks up, how she chooses relationships, how she handles discomfort, and how she trusts herself more deeply than ever before. From tattoos and style as self-expression (not performance), to perfectionism, late blooming, public growth, financial stability, emotional resilience, and spiritual curiosity — this episode is about becoming more yourself with every year sober. If you’ve ever wondered who you’re becoming after you quit drinking, this one’s for you. In This Episode, Kate Talks About:• Celebrating 8 years sober in NYC during her annual Fashion Week trip • Self-trust as the real transformation of sobriety • Style, tattoos, and identity (no longer performing for approval) • Dressing for yourself, not the male gaze • Radical honesty and the peace of having nothing to hide • Realizing nobody is watching you as closely as you think • Building a sober life with structure, routines, and real energy • Outgrowing people, places, and identities naturally • Boundaries without guilt: “If it’s not fun sober, it’s not fun” • Emotional resilience and sitting with discomfort instead of numbing • Being wrong, evolving, and changing your mind publicly • Feminism, social awareness, and seeing the world more clearly in sobriety • Exploring spirituality without shame or self-abandonment • The concept of being both fully human and fully divine • Grieving the moments alcohol stole (vacations, concerts, presence) • Perfectionism, repression, and why rebellion softens when you choose yourself • Major life stressors navigated sober: loss, illness, financial strain, career upheaval • Building a bold, creative life after alcohol (business, podcast, public voice) • Late blooming, divine timing, and trusting your life’s unfolding • The financial clarity sobriety actually creates • Standing up for yourself professionally • Holding paradox: two things can be true at the same time Join my coaching program: Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

    50 min

  5. FEB 3

    EP 59: Reclaiming Soul Work: Healing Religious Wounding Through Feminist Theology

    In this solo episode, Kate goes deep into a part of recovery that rarely gets named — but quietly shapes everything: religious wounding, self-trust, and soul work. For years, Kate approached recovery through neuroscience alone — partly out of rebellion against rigid dogma and hierarchical systems that taught her she was broken, powerless, or unable to trust herself. But over time, both her own healing and her work with hundreds of women revealed something deeper: Many women aren’t just healing from alcohol. They’re healing from self-abandonment. From spiritual disconnection. From being taught not to trust themselves. This episode explores the powerful overlap between: Religious conditioningPatriarchal structuresRecovery dogmaNervous system dysregulationShame, perfectionism, and people-pleasing Kate shares how discovering feminist theology — particularly the work of Meggan Watterson — helped repair deep spiritual and identity-level wounds. Through this lens, God is not an external authority or judging figure, but what Watterson calls “the Good” — love, wisdom, presence — something we are already connected to, not something we must earn. You’ll also hear Kate reflect on the reclamation of Mary Magdalene as a teacher, mystic, and leader rather than the distorted trope of a “fallen woman,” and how reconnecting with the divine feminine strengthened her confidence, softened her nervous system, and deepened her self-trust. At the heart of this episode is a redefinition of soul work — not as religion, but as: The practice of learning how to listen to your own inner knowingRebuilding trust in yourself after years of overrideConnecting with love rather than fearComing home to yourselfKate also unpacks how healing requires both science and soul, including: How the brain rewires after alcoholWhy emotions feel louder in early sobrietyHow stress, habit loops, and nervous system dysregulation drive behaviorWhy willpower burns people outWhy lasting change comes from safety + repetitionWhy healing must also include grief, identity work, emotional honesty, and self-trust This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered: Why they struggle to trust themselvesWhy traditional recovery spaces felt shaming or disempoweringWhy spirituality felt wounding instead of supportiveWhether you can believe in neuroscience, intuition, feminism, and God all at onceWhether you’re allowed to be both grounded and messy, logical and emotional, human and sacred Kate’s answer is clear: You don’t have to choose one version of yourself. You’re allowed to hold the paradox. You’re allowed to be whole. Key Themes in This EpisodeReligious wounding and its impact on women’s self-trustThe overlap between patriarchal spirituality and recovery dogmaFeminist theology and the work of Meggan WattersonMary Magdalene reclaimed as teacher, mystic, and leaderRebuilding inner authority after years of self-overrideThe connection between nervous system healing and self-trustRedefining soul work as intuition, love, and embodied truthBeing fully human and fully divineHealing as integration, not perfection Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

    41 min

  6. JAN 28

    Bonus Episode: Pro Tip for Early Sobriety During a U.S. Geopolitical Dumpster Fire: This Is Not A Time to Abandon Yourself

    pisode Notes This is a bonus episode about staying sober in a world that feels like it’s on fire. I talk about capacity — not as a moral issue, but as a real limit — and why newly sober people do not owe the world constant engagement, takes, or emotional mastery. We cover: Why sobriety doesn’t mean being “above it”How self-abandonment masquerades as responsibilityThe difference between caring and burning yourself downWhy staying sober right now is infrastructure, not avoidanceWhen silence is regulation, not complicityJournaling as record-keeping, not self-help This episode is for anyone who is heartbroken, angry, overwhelmed — and still choosing to stay upright. No platitudes. No spiritual bypassing. Just honesty about what it takes to remain sober and intact when the world is heavy. Bookmark what you can’t hold yet. You’ll come back when you have the capacity. Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

    20 min
  7. EP 58: Ditching the Dogma: The Recovery Industrial Complex, Harm Reduction, and Reclaiming Agency with Tara Grace

    JAN 27

    EP 58: Ditching the Dogma: The Recovery Industrial Complex, Harm Reduction, and Reclaiming Agency with Tara Grace

    What happens when the very system that’s supposed to support healing starts to feel controlling, fear-based, or limiting? In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by Tara Grace the host of the Recovery Rebellion podcast, who openly identifies as a “12-step dogma survivor” and advocates for a more nuanced, compassionate, and person-centered approach to recovery. We explore the darker side of the recovery world that many people are afraid to name out loud — including rigid ideology, shame-based messaging, and the ways people are often discouraged from trusting their own intuition. This episode is not about tearing down what helps people. It’s about expanding the conversation to include the many people who felt harmed, silenced, or dismissed within traditional recovery systems. In this episode, we discuss:The recovery industrial complex and how “heads in the beds” can sometimes matter more than individualized careWhat people mean when they talk about surviving 12-step dogmaHow rigid recovery models can become authoritarian, condescending, and psychologically unsafeThe problem with fear-based messaging like “you’ll die if you leave”How the disease model of addiction can be both helpful and limiting — and why it doesn’t tell the whole storyWhy many people experience real healing through natural recovery (without formal programs)The difference between support vs. control, accountability vs. complianceWhy harm reduction is often misunderstood — and who it actually servesThe emotional impact of being told your thinking is defective, your intuition is dangerous, or your questioning is “denial”How recovery can (and should) support self-trust, autonomy, and nervous system safetyWhy leaving AA or structured recovery spaces does not equal failureWhat compassionate, flexible, modern recovery could look like instead This episode is for you if:You’ve ever felt shamed, silenced, or patronized in recovery spacesYou’ve been told you were “in denial” simply for asking questionsYou were warned you would die if you left AA and felt terrified but also constrainedYou’re sober curious and hesitant to engage with traditional programsYou believe healing should feel empowering, not diminishingYou want a more expansive conversation about addiction recovery, neuroscience, agency, and choice This is a conversation about rethinking recovery, honoring lived experience, and creating space for people to heal without having to surrender their voice, identity, or autonomy. Because recovery should be about becoming more yourself — not less. Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/ Guest Info: Tara Grace @burnthestigma www.burnthestigma.com www.burnthestigma.net/podcast

    46 min

  8. JAN 20

    EP 57: Questioning The Disease Model of Addiction: Is It Denial or Discernment?

    For decades, addiction has been widely defined as a chronic, relapsing brain disease — a framework adopted by the medical system, treatment centers, and many recovery programs, including Alcoholics Anonymous. In this episode, Kate explores why that definition — while historically important — often falls short, especially for women who don’t experience their relationship with alcohol as a lifelong disease state. This conversation isn’t anti-recovery or anti-help. It’s about discernment, nuance, and intellectual honesty. Kate unpacks how the disease model became the dominant narrative, why it’s convenient for institutions, and how questioning it is often framed — particularly in 12-step spaces — as a symptom rather than a legitimate inquiry. In this episode, we cover:Why the “chronic, relapsing brain disease” definition became the gold standardHow medical and treatment systems benefit from a single, fixed narrativeThe difference between reducing shame and reinforcing permanent pathologyHow disagreement with the disease model is often labeled as “denial”Why pathologizing questions can shut down curiosity, autonomy, and growthThe psychological impact of being told your insight is evidence you’re sickWhy many women don’t see themselves reflected in traditional recovery explanationsHow authority-based recovery models discourage nuance and self-trust Kate also discusses the cultural dynamics inside recovery spaces where questioning foundational beliefs can be interpreted as resistance, ego, or lack of willingness — rather than a thoughtful response to lived experience. The core message:Questioning a model is not denial. It’s discernment. Recovery should expand self-trust — not require surrendering your ability to think critically about your own experience. This episode is for women who: Feel uneasy with being labeled “chronically ill”Have been told their doubts are symptomsWant recovery without losing their voiceAre seeking a more nuanced, adult conversation about addiction You’re allowed to ask questions. And asking them doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

    38 min
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Trailer

5
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

Rewired Sober is a feminist sobriety podcast for women in midlife and early recovery who are done being talked down to. If you’ve quit drinking — or are thinking about it — and traditional recovery models left you feeling small, ashamed, or powerless, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. This podcast explores sobriety through neuroscience, nervous system regulation, and feminist self-trust, not moral failure or lifelong labels. Hosted by Kate, a board-certified addiction and mental health registered nurse with over two decades of experience, a nurse coach, and a SHE RECOVERS® coach, Rewired Sober bridges clinical science with lived experience. Kate brings a trauma-aware, no-shame lens to recovery — combining brain science, nervous system education, and soul-level inquiry to help women rebuild trust in themselves after alcohol. This podcast is for women asking: – Why does early sobriety feel so intense in my body and brain? – What’s actually happening neurologically when I stop drinking? – How do I rebuild self-trust after years of coping with alcohol? – Is there a way to recover without shame, obedience, or surrendering my intuition? Episodes blend science and soul — from how alcohol affects the female brain, to midlife nervous system shifts, to unlearning the cultural and patriarchal conditioning that taught women to numb, cope, and self-abandon. This is not a 12-step podcast. This is not a powerlessness model. And it’s not about fixing what was never broken. Rewired Sober is for women who want sobriety that makes them stronger, clearer, and more themselves — not smaller. If you’re sober and wondering now what? You’re in the right place.

Information

  • Creator
    Kate Vitela
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    66
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Kate Vitela
  • Show Website
    Rewired Sober

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