*After listening to the episode discussing my review I went and listened to the episode again to see if my review had been fair and nuanced. It was even worse the 2nd time around. So here are a few things I will add to the Therapy Brothers response of my review which I have left below after the asterisk without changing. I do take issue with this man’s energy and the way in which he presented much of his material. He spoke in a callous manner yet he is praised for his honesty, for saying things that others in the therapy space don’t say. Sorry that’s a hard no. Many people do say the hard things when it comes to sexuality-they just say it without the misogyny and arrogance. You can find all of his ideas about women in the red pilled community. Men there speak as if they know exactly what women want and feel just like this man did. Women are not a monolith.
He contradicted himself going on about women wanting monogamy and calling that the “diad” that many men didn’t take seriously when they were signing up for marriage. That men go on their honeymoon and then come back home from their honeymoon just the same dude cause no one talked to them about taking marriage seriously, not their dads, not the media and so on. Did you not think when you were getting married to have conversations with the person you were marrying about expectations and just human decency? So back to his contradiction-he later states women are approaching rates of cheating similar to men. So what about this “diad” that women imagined? Why would they be cheating when they just wanted monogamy. Ester Perel often talks about how women in marriage get bored of the sex they’re having before their partners do. Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife talks a lot about how female sexuality has a greater capacity than male sexuality.
This man clearly has not integrated his own sexuality within his values-is he in the process of doing that? Perhaps- however his behavior and his assessment of his own behavior as well as his disparagement of the therapy field (which I grant has its problems but at-least there are codes of conduct, ethics and accountability even if the process of improvement is painfully slow) along with the fact that he only works with “high achievers/entrepeneurs” because they don’t relate to other men solidifies his grift. He and the Therapy Brothers made comparisons to cancer and treatment in both episodes and how frustrating it was getting caught up in semantics do we call it cancer (addiction) or just bad behavior because of the shame that comes with the label addict. well I would like to make a cancer analogy of my own-imagine an oncologist who said I only treat cancer in high achievers. They don’t really relate to the rest of the cancer population. Ridiculous right? To be crystal clear about the semantics of “high achiever” we all know that he meant men with a certain amount of financial success, he listed Drs, lawyers, entrepreneurs as examples of high achievers not just men achieving.
So yes in summary I think this man will cause far more harm to people struggling in anyway with anything sex related and I would steer as far away from him and his ideas as I do from Andrew Tate who is in jail waiting extradition for sex trafficking, rape, abuse, even abuse of minors so hearing the Therapy brothers say they would love to have him on their platform because we can flesh out what they think and feel is repulsive. There are hundreds of hours online of what Andrew Tate thinks. It’s one thing to meet people where they are, especially clients and it’s entirely another thing to platform people like Andrew Tate-who have caused countless harm and brag about it so sorry my review is 1 star now.*
The guy in episode #546 is the perfect example of an entitled man who grew up in a patriarchy and is still completely self absorbed. I’m guessing his work is under “coaching” because so many things he said were pretty unethical and coddling of the men he works with who are “high achievers” and are never told no. Pure grift here people but I’m sure the high achievers can pay his fees. Does he actually see women as people? The callousness as to which he speaks about someone potentially having 5 affairs in 10 years not making you an addict- I can totally agree with that- you aren’t a sex addict but chances are you are addicted to validation and you are a completely self-serving person with no regard as to how you impact your wife/partner and children and others. This episode was awful and the misogyny runs so deep in this one. He is not onto any new ideas when it comes to men’s sexuality and women’s sexuality as he pushes the trope that men go into marriage not really wanting monogamy and the women want it and the men just don’t take that serious. This session is something I would expect to hear in the red pilled community, the words are just a little bit different with high value men instead of high achievers. He’s the “wellness” influencer who disparages Drs while selling snake oil. There are plenty of solid and voices in the infidelity space, Ester Perel, the Gottmans, Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, and Dr Snarch to name a few. I was expecting more pushback on his immature masculinity and it’s scary to know that these type of men are working in the “healing” space.
