Leaning into Self-Trust When Shifting Realities In this episode of Calm Your Crazy, I’m talking about one of the most important parts of consciously creating a new reality: learning to trust myself enough to stop trying to control every step of how I get there. When I decide that I want something—whether it’s a new life, healing, success, abundance, or a bigger purpose—I’m making that decision from who I am right now. But I’m not going to be the same person by the time I reach it. The journey itself changes me. I’m going to encounter resistance, fear, old wounds, unexpected experiences, new people, and things that simply aren’t meant to come with me. That friction doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going the wrong way. Sometimes, the friction is the training. I compare it to painting with oils. I may begin with a clear picture in my mind, but because the painting develops in layers—and I change between those layers—the finished piece never looks exactly like what I originally imagined. It takes on a life of its own. Creating my reality works the same way. I can choose the direction without knowing exactly what the finished picture will look like. And that requires self-trust. When fear comes up, my instinct can be to grab for control. I start analyzing, predicting, catastrophizing, and imagining every possible outcome. But the more possibilities I try to control, the more overwhelmed I become. Instead of moving, I freeze. My analogy for this is Michael Jordan standing on the court holding the basketball. He already knows how to play. He already knows where the basket is. But imagine if, right before every shot, he started questioning everything—Are my feet right? What if I miss? Is this the right angle? Am I standing in exactly the right place? Eventually, he has to shoot the ball. That’s surrender. I have to trust myself enough to release the ball, knowing I may miss sometimes. Missing a shot doesn’t mean I’m no longer the player. I get the ball back, take another shot, and keep playing. I also talk about learning to interrupt the mental loops that keep me frozen. Sometimes my response to a thought is simply: No. We’re not doing that. I don’t have to give my energy to every possibility my mind produces. I can acknowledge fear without allowing it to determine where I’m going. Self-trust is built through that relationship with myself—through action, self-forgiveness, curiosity, self-love, and repeatedly showing myself that I will continue moving forward. I don’t need to figure out my entire life today. I need to ask: How am I showing up for myself today? Am I moving my body? Am I allowing myself to feel? Am I being kind? Am I getting curious about my triggers instead of judging myself for having them? Am I doing something, however small, toward the reality I chose? I use rafting as another example. If nobody paddles, the boat gets pushed around by the current—into rocks, eddies, and whatever else happens to be in its path. But once everyone starts paddling, we have direction. My job is to paddle. And finally, I share some of the experiences that taught me what happens when I keep going through fear: hiking to the top of a mountain, climbing impossibly high into a tree as a child, and snowboarding the Continental Divide. In each experience there was a moment when fear and difficulty could have stopped me—and something incredible was waiting on the other side: completion, exhilaration, awe, and another piece of evidence that I could trust myself. That’s what I want to remember when shifting realities. Choose the reality. Paddle the boat. Shoot the ball. Let go of needing to know exactly how everything will happen. I can meet the next thing when it arrives. And then I can meet the thing after that. The goal isn’t to eliminate every fear before I move. It’s to trust myself enough to keep moving while I’m becoming the person who can live the reality I chose.
