Neurodivergent Strategies for Late-Diagnosed Adults: The Divergent Paths Podcast

Regina McMenomy, PhD.
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Neurodivergent Strategies for Late-Diagnosed Adults is the podcast for people with ADHD, autism, and other late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults ready to unmask, heal from burnout, and build a life that works with their brain, not against it. Hosted by Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., this show offers real talk and practical strategies for navigating executive dysfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), perfectionism, emotional regulation, masking, PDA, and more. Each episode explores how unspoken expectations, internalized ableism, and cultural myths about productivity keep neurodivergent people stuck and what we can do to shift the narrative. Whether you’re newly diagnosed, self-discovered, or still figuring it out, you’ll find insight, compassion, and tools to help you find your divergent path. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes! Book a Free Discovery Call with Regina About the Host: Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. (she/her) is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and host of the Divergent Paths podcast. With a Ph.D. in Cultural Studies and over 20 years of experience in higher education and instructional design, she blends academic depth with lived neurodivergent insight. Regina was diagnosed later in life and like many of her clients, spent decades masking, overworking, and wondering why burnout always came back. Now she helps late-diagnosed people with ADHD and autism unmask safely, rebuild their self-trust, and embrace rest as a radical act of self-support. The Divergent Paths podcast offers empowering conversations, practical tools, and hard-won wisdom for those ready to live more authentically. You’ll often find her talking about nervous system regulation, perfectionism, emotional honesty and, occasionally, oatmeal.

  1. Late Diagnosed and Done Performing: Who Neurodivergent Coaching Is For

    1d ago

    Late Diagnosed and Done Performing: Who Neurodivergent Coaching Is For

    Most neurodivergent coaching will sell you a three-month transformation and a tidy finish line. For late diagnosed adults doing genuine unmasking work, that promise can do real harm. This episode is about why your path is divergent by design, and why curiosity about yourself matters more than any checklist. Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. describes the people she loves working with: late diagnosed, late identified, late realized neurodivergent adults who are approaching their neurodivergence with genuine curiosity, not just collecting a label. These are people who are done outsourcing their self-concept to their work, their hobbies, or relationships that never really supported them. She also gets honest about why her coaching looks nothing like the tidy three-month transformation arc most of the industry sells, and why that framing can actively harm someone doing real unmasking work. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphd Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    11 min
  2. Unmasking and Relationship Repair: When the New You Looks Like a Villain

    Jun 19

    Unmasking and Relationship Repair: When the New You Looks Like a Villain

    You started doing the work. You've begun understanding how your brain actually works, and you began peeling back the mask you built to survive. So why is everything suddenly harder with the people closest to you? Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. shares in this episode the part nobody warns you about: what happens to your relationships after you start unmasking. When you cancel plans without guilt, hold firmer boundaries, and stop spending your executive function smoothing every sharp edge, people notice. Some read it as you becoming mean or distant. That tension isn't proof your relationships are broken. It usually means they need renegotiation. Unmasking isn't about becoming someone new. It's about becoming visible, including to yourself, and not everyone will be ready for that. You're not the villain here. You might just be the antagonist to someone else's comfort, and you're allowed to be okay with that. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphd Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    16 min
  3. Neurodivergent Secure Attachment and Unmasking: The Paradox of Being Seen

    Jun 12

    Neurodivergent Secure Attachment and Unmasking: The Paradox of Being Seen

    It is a terrifying thing to stand in a spotlight you never agreed to walk into. When you're a late-diagnosed neurodivergent adult you might have heard dropping the mask brings instant freedom, but nobody warns you about the deep ache of finally being seen for exactly who you are. When someone looks past your carefully constructed, people-pleasing performance and embraces your messy, genuine self, your nervous system might actually scream danger instead of feeling relief. In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. explores the emotional reality of the "visibility gap"—the awkward, liminal space between who you used to be and who you are becoming. For late-diagnosed adults, their mask wasn't just a habit; it was a protective system built brick by brick. This episode unpacks why unmasking is a relational event, why being misread hurts so much more once you are trying to be authentic, and how your nervous system gradually calibrates to accept true belonging and secure, safe connections. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphd Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    12 min
  4. Romantic Hyperfixation, and Attachment Styles: How and Why You Can't Stop Thinking about Them

    Jun 5

    Romantic Hyperfixation, and Attachment Styles: How and Why You Can't Stop Thinking about Them

    You recognize the feeling the moment it starts. One conversation, one interaction, and suddenly this person is everywhere in your brain, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and approximately 47 times in between. You're not just interested. You're consumed. And if you're neurodivergent, there's a reason it hits that hard. In this episode, Dr. Regina and Russ break down limerence (also called romantic hyperfixation), why ADHD and autistic brains are especially susceptible to it, and how your attachment style either fuels the fire or keeps the loop going indefinitely. If you've ever turned a person into a puzzle you couldn't stop trying to solve, this one's for you. If you've ever confused intensity for intimacy, or chased the high of pursuit without realizing why, this episode gives you the language and the framework to finally understand what was happening and what to do about it. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphd Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    22 min
  5. Neurodivergent Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing: When Self Abandonment Feels Like your Whole Personality

    May 29

    Neurodivergent Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing: When Self Abandonment Feels Like your Whole Personality

    Have you ever spent hours decoding a single text message, or convinced yourself that anticipating everyone else's needs was how to be a "good friend"? If you are late-identified neurodivergent, what you’ve always praised as a thoughtful personality trait might actually be a highly activated nervous system response. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. breaks down the intersection of anxious attachment, codependency, and masking. She explores how growing up with unpredictable connections teaches your nervous system to stay hyper-vigilant, leading to a habit of reading the room at the expense of your own boundaries. You'll discover why self-abandonment gets socially rewarded as being "low maintenance" and how to start tracking your internal signals instead of everyone else’s emotional state. It’s time to stop prioritizing everyone else's comfort and start learning how to check back in on yourself. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphd Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    14 min
  6. Enmeshment and Late Diagnosis: Why You Don't Know What You Actually Want

    May 22

    Enmeshment and Late Diagnosis: Why You Don't Know What You Actually Want

    Do you know what you actually want? Not what makes everyone else comfortable, not what keeps the peace, but what you want? For many late-diagnosed and late-identifying neurodivergent adults, that question is genuinely hard to answer. It's often the result of enmeshment. In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. breaks down why enmeshment is so common among neurodivergent people, how a lifetime of masking sets the stage for boundaryless relationships, and what it actually looks like to start finding your edges. This episode is for you if you've ever left a conversation feeling drained in a way that goes beyond introversion, if you've caught yourself riding someone else's emotional wave without knowing how you climbed aboard, or if you're in the middle of figuring out who you actually are post-diagnosis. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Chat with Regina on Instagram @drreginaphd Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    15 min
  7. Why Neurodivergent People Track Everyone Else's Emotions Instead of Their Own

    May 15

    Why Neurodivergent People Track Everyone Else's Emotions Instead of Their Own

    If you've ever wondered why you always know when someone else is upset but can't tell if you're hungry, this one is for you. Most late-diagnosed neurodivergent people aren't exhausted from their schedule. They're exhausted from the constant low-level work of monitoring everyone else's emotional states. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina Ph.D. introduces the concept of the emotional dashboard and breaks down exactly why so many ADHD and autistic adults learned to read other people's feelings instead of their own. This episode unpacks the layered reasons behind this pattern, including interoception differences in ADHD and autistic brains, monitoring others' emotional states as a strategy for managing rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), the connection between masking and people-pleasing, and how codependency in neurodivergent people is adaptive, not a character flaw. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    13 min
  8. People Pleasing, Masking, and Codependency: A Structure Late Diagnosis Reveals

    May 8

    People Pleasing, Masking, and Codependency: A Structure Late Diagnosis Reveals

    If you've spent your whole life being told you're so good at reading the room, this episode might reframe everything. Codependency is one of those words that gets thrown around casually, usually as a polite way of calling someone too needy. But for late-diagnosed and late-identified neurodivergent adults, the pattern looks entirely different, and it doesn't come from neediness. It comes from survival. In this episode, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. and co-host Russ, break down what codependency actually is, where it came from as a clinical framework, and why neurodivergent people, particularly those who spent years masking without knowing it, are disproportionately likely to develop these patterns. When reading the room is how you stayed safe, outsourcing your sense of self to the people around you isn't a character flaw. It's an adaptive strategy. One that works, until it doesn't. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights! Book a Make it Make Sense Call with Regina About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks need after receiving their late diagnoses.

    18 min
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5
out of 5
16 Ratings

About

Neurodivergent Strategies for Late-Diagnosed Adults is the podcast for people with ADHD, autism, and other late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults ready to unmask, heal from burnout, and build a life that works with their brain, not against it. Hosted by Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., this show offers real talk and practical strategies for navigating executive dysfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), perfectionism, emotional regulation, masking, PDA, and more. Each episode explores how unspoken expectations, internalized ableism, and cultural myths about productivity keep neurodivergent people stuck and what we can do to shift the narrative. Whether you’re newly diagnosed, self-discovered, or still figuring it out, you’ll find insight, compassion, and tools to help you find your divergent path. Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes! Book a Free Discovery Call with Regina About the Host: Dr. Regina McMenomy Ph.D. (she/her) is a neurodivergent coach, educator, and host of the Divergent Paths podcast. With a Ph.D. in Cultural Studies and over 20 years of experience in higher education and instructional design, she blends academic depth with lived neurodivergent insight. Regina was diagnosed later in life and like many of her clients, spent decades masking, overworking, and wondering why burnout always came back. Now she helps late-diagnosed people with ADHD and autism unmask safely, rebuild their self-trust, and embrace rest as a radical act of self-support. The Divergent Paths podcast offers empowering conversations, practical tools, and hard-won wisdom for those ready to live more authentically. You’ll often find her talking about nervous system regulation, perfectionism, emotional honesty and, occasionally, oatmeal.

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