Healing Our Relationships: From Codependency to Authenticity

Marisa La Fata
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Why do we keep abandoning ourselves in the name of love? Why do we say yes when we mean no, swallow words that ache to be spoken, or feel responsible for keeping everyone else happy — even at the cost of our own peace? Healing Our Relationships is a podcast for anyone who’s ever felt trapped in the patterns of codependency and wondered if there’s another way. I’m Marisa — healer, transformation guide, and someone who’s walked my own long road from self-abandonment to self-trust. In this space, I come as a teacher, guide, and fellow traveler. Together, we’ll explore: What codependency really is — beyond the clinical definitions and clichés How these patterns begin in childhood and live in our nervous systems How to start the healing journey with compassion rather than shame Tools for grounding, boundaries, and somatic awareness Practices for reconnecting to your body, your truth, and your spirit The intersection of spirituality and emotional healing How to move from survival into real connection — first with yourself, and then with others This isn’t just a podcast. It’s a space to breathe, reflect, and remember who you are beneath the patterns that once kept you safe. Alongside these episodes, I also hold a monthly Healing Our Relationships circle live on Zoom — a place for community, sharing, and deeper healing. You’ll find details and more resources on my HealSpace app, where I share guided meditations, teachings, and sacred tools to support your journey. If you’re ready to understand why you do what you do — and how to come home to yourself — I invite you to join me. Together, we’ll explore how to move from codependency to freedom, wholeness, and true connection. Subscribe and let’s begin.

Episodes

  1. Boundaries And The Path Toward Self-Trust

    AUG 22

    Boundaries And The Path Toward Self-Trust

    Boundaries are one of the most misunderstood aspects of healing and recovery. For some of us, being “boundariless” looks like saying yes when we mean no, letting others decide for us, and living in fear of rejection or disapproval. For others, it looks like building walls, controlling outcomes, or cutting people off entirely as a way to feel safe. Both are forms of disconnection — from ourselves, and from authentic relationship. Today, we’ll explore why so many of us struggle to set boundaries and how this ties back to fear, perfectionism, and old survival strategies. More importantly, we’ll talk about why boundaries are not only safe, but necessary. Setting a boundary is one of the most self-honoring acts we can take — it’s how we reclaim our authenticity and create space for others to show up authentically too. You’ll discover: How being boundariless can look like over-giving or walling off  Why guilt, shame, and uncertainty are normal when we start practicing boundaries. The difference between boundaries that keep us safe and walls that keep us stuck. Tools to practice boundaries as an act of truth and self-worth, rather than control. Why taking care of yourself first is not only safe, but sacred — and how doing so creates space for authentic, honest connection with others. This conversation is a reminder that boundaries are not about shutting life out; they’re about letting life in, in a way that feels safe, honoring, and true. When we learn to set them, we reclaim our energy, our relationships, and our place in the world as whole, worthy beings. And, in order to give you a powerful guidepost for really transforming behaviors that are rooted in self-abandonment, you are getting two episodes this week so you don't have to wait to begin the powerful practice of coming. home to yourself.  Learn more about me at www.healwithalchemy.com Follow me on instagram at @soulalchemyhealing  Join us for free on Zoom on the last Thursday of the month for Healing Our Relationships the Circle

    34 min
  2. Relearning & Reclaiming Self-Acceptance And Self-Worth

    AUG 15

    Relearning & Reclaiming Self-Acceptance And Self-Worth

    You can’t just flip a switch and love yourself after a lifetime of feeling disconnected. For many of us, self-worth was never modeled it was something we had to earn through approval, performance, or meeting someone else’s expectations. Over time, our nervous systems adapted to live in survival mode, we lost sense of who we really are and  But this is not who you are. Beneath the roles you’ve played and the patterns you’ve carried is the unshakable truth of your worth. In this episode of Healing Our Relationships, we’ll explore why reclaiming self-worth isn’t about pretending, bypassing, or forcing affirmations to land. Instead, it’s about coming back into alignment in your mind, body, and spirit recovery and discovering your truth, accepting the truths that already exists. It is about creating space for compassion and care to grow.  In this episode you will learn three powerful practices you can start using today to move from head to heart and to shift your nervous system out of survival mode, ground into security, and reconnect with yourself in a way that’s loving and lasting This is your reminder: self-worth isn’t the starting point. It’s the result of choosing truth over fear, moment by moment. The books mentioned in this podcast are:  Dr. David Hawkins - Letting Go The Pathway to Surrender  Don Miguel Ruiz- The Four Agreements  Learn more about me at www.healwithalchemy.com Follow me on instagram at @soulalchemyhealing  Join us on Zoom on the last Thursday of the month for Healing Our Relationships the Circle

    31 min
  3. Healing I'm broken, I can't trust anyone, If I don't get close I can't get hurt and I'm not worthy of love

    AUG 10

    Healing I'm broken, I can't trust anyone, If I don't get close I can't get hurt and I'm not worthy of love

    Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa, Healer & Transformation Guide. Love avoidance often gets mistaken for independence, but in truth, it’s another face of codependency — a strategy to control connection and protect ourselves from pain. In this episode, I’m unpacking three core beliefs that keep love-avoidant patterns alive: I can’t trust anyone, If I don’t get close, I can’t get hurt, and I am not worthy of love. We’ll explore how these beliefs form — often from early abandonment, betrayal, or a deep mistrust of others — and how they quietly dictate the way we choose partners, keep people at arm’s length, or test whether they’ll chase us. I’ll share why walling off isn’t the safety net we think it is, but a self-imposed cage that limits intimacy, joy, and real connection. This conversation is about awareness, compassion, and the courage to take contrary action: to open the gates, to allow closeness without giving up yourself, and to risk being loved for who you truly are. You’ll leave with reflection questions and practices to help you step out from behind the walls and into relationships that feel safe because you are safe inside yourself. Learn more at www.healwithalchemy.com Email me your story submissions, questions or thoughts at marisa@healwithalchemy.com Follow me on Instagram at @soulalchemyhealing Join me in Sedona this November for Awakening Woman Retreat

    26 min
  4. Healing Fear of Rejection, Fear of Disappointing Others, Feeling Responsible for Their Emotions & Fear They’ll Leave and Be Better for Someone Else

    AUG 1

    Healing Fear of Rejection, Fear of Disappointing Others, Feeling Responsible for Their Emotions & Fear They’ll Leave and Be Better for Someone Else

    What a title! We are packing a lot in today. In this episode of Healing Our Relationships, we explore the deep-rooted beliefs that quietly shape compliance patterns—the part of us that abandons our truth to stay safe, to be liked and to avoid loss. These patterns aren’t weakness. They’re survival strategies we learned in environments where our voice didn’t feel welcome. But they cost us. They cost us authenticity. They cost us self-trust. And over time, they keep us from the very connection we long for-connection to ourselves and others.  Together, we’ll explore four core beliefs that often live beneath compliance behaviors: If I speak up, I’ll be rejected:  It’s the fear that our truth will cost us connection. That we’ll be too much. That if we ask for what we need, they’ll leave. So we quiet ourselves. We hold back. We sugarcoat. We speak in half-truths. We edit who we are just enough to stay acceptable and keep the peace.  I’m responsible for how others feel:  This belief convinces us that other people’s discomfort is our fault. We walk on eggshells. We manage their moods. We monitor our every word to prevent someone else’s reaction. But the truth is: You are responsible to people—not for them. You can be kind without controlling. You can be honest without caretaking. We learn that it’s not loving to protect others from their own feelings—it’s enabling. And it’s not loving to take on their emotions at the expense of our own. If I disappoint someone, I’ll lose them: For many of us, this wasn’t just a feeling—it was a lived experience. Love was conditional. Approval came when we performed correctly. Safety meant staying agreeable, available, and easy to be around. So we adapted. We became who others needed us to be.We said yes when everything in our body said no. We became masterful at anticipating needs and avoiding conflict. And disappointment felt like danger. But here’s what this belief forgets: Disappointment is not the same as betrayal. Discomfort is not the same as abandonment. They’ll leave me and find someone better:  Many of us stay in unhealthy relationships because we believe we’re replaceable. That if we walk away, they’ll find someone better. That our absence won’t even matter. But that belief doesn’t come from your soul—it comes from your wounds. The truth is, you are not disposable. You are not interchangeable. But if you stay where you’re not seen or valued, you’ll start to believe you are. In this episode: You’ll learn how these beliefs form, how they play out in relationships, and what it means to meet them with compassion rather than shame. I’ll offer tools, teachings, reflection questions, and small but powerful practices to help you reclaim your voice and come home to your truth. This is the path of coming back to yourself—not to please or perform, but to live in alignment with your integrity, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s scary. Even when it means someone won’t approve. You are worth it. Come home to yourself.  New episodes drop each week!  And if you’d like to explore this work more deeply in community, join me for my Healing Our Relationships live circle on Zoom on the last Thursday of every month. You’ll also find guided meditations, teachings, and resources in my HealSpace app — your sanctuary for coming home to yourself. Learn more at www.healwithalchemy.com Email me your story submissions, questions or thoughts at marisa@healwithalchemy.com Follow me on Instagram at @soulalchemyhealing Join me in Sedona this November for Awakening Woman Retreat

    35 min
  5. Healing I Am Not Enough, I Am Not Worthy, I Can't Trust Myself & It Isn't Safe to Be Me

    JUL 25

    Healing I Am Not Enough, I Am Not Worthy, I Can't Trust Myself & It Isn't Safe to Be Me

    Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa, Healer & Transformation Guide. In this episode, I’m diving deep into the low self-esteem patterns that so many carry—patterns that whisper, “I’m not enough,” “I’m not worthy,” “I can’t trust myself,” and “If I show up fully, I’ll be rejected.” These beliefs aren’t the truth of who you are. They’re stories you learned to survive. And if you’re here, I know there’s a part of you that’s ready to tell a new one. Together, we’ll explore how these patterns show up in relationships—with others and with yourself—and how to begin shifting them with radical self-honesty, compassion, and small but powerful acts of devotion to your own healing. This conversation isn’t just about awareness—it’s about action. I’ll offer reflection questions, embodied practices, and small but sacred shifts you can make right now to begin loosening their grip. This isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been—and having the courage to live from love for yourself instead of fear of others.  ✨ New episodes drop every week. And if you’d like to explore this work more deeply in community, join me for my Healing Our Relationships live circle on Zoom on the last Thursday of every month. You’ll also find guided meditations, teachings, and resources in my HealSpace app — your sanctuary for coming home to yourself. Learn more at www.healwithalchemy.com Email me your questions or thoughts at marisa@healwithalchemy.com Follow me on Instagram at @soulalchemyhealing Join me in Sedona this November for Awakening Woman Retreat

    34 min
  6. Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    JUL 20 · BONUS

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    This is a bonus episode — one I felt called to share because I know how torturous it can feel to be caught in that anxious loop of “Should I stay or should I go?” And there is a good chance if you are on this journey with me. You may be in a relationship that doesn’t feel good. When you're unsure what's yours and what belongs to someone else… the confusion can feel unbearable. The mind obsesses, the body tightens, and the urgency to get clear becomes overwhelming. But beneath that question, there’s something deeper. A river beneath the river. This episode invites you into that deeper current — the one that asks: Do I trust myself? Am I safe to listen to what’s true for me? Can I hold the not-knowing with compassion, not panic? Together, we’ll explore: Why clarity can’t be forced, but must be felt How codependency makes it hard to hear your own truth A few simple questions to help you tune into whether you’re in a codependent pattern Practical ways to soothe the nervous system so clarity can emerge And a reframe that may help you feel less alone, less crazy, and more at peace in the in-between If you’re struggling in the not-knowing, this episode is for you. You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to force answers. You just need to stay with yourself. Join me live on Zoom on the last Thursday of the month. Learn more at www.healwithalchemy.com

    41 min
  7. Your Authentic Self: The Remembering, Discovering & Unfolding

    JUL 18

    Your Authentic Self: The Remembering, Discovering & Unfolding

    Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa, Healer & Transformation Guide. So many of us live trapped inside stories we inherited long ago — stories about who we’re supposed to be, what makes us worthy, and how love must be earned. In this episode of Healing Our Relationships, I explore how these old stories block us from our authentic, divine unfolding — and how remembering who we truly are is the path back to freedom and wholeness. We’ll talk about: The invisible agreements we made in childhood How codependency keeps us living in old narratives The difference between your story and your soul Gentle ways to begin rewriting your story and reconnecting to your authentic self Because your story does not have to be your prison. It can be the doorway back home. If you’re ready to explore the space beyond your old story, I’d love for you to join me. ✨ New episodes drop every week. And if you’d like to explore this work more deeply in community, join me for my Healing Our Relationships live circle on Zoom on the last Thursday of every month. You’ll also find guided meditations, teachings, and resources in my HealSpace app — your sanctuary for coming home to yourself. Let’s keep walking this path together.

    33 min
  8. The Costs of Self-Abandonment: Why Choosing Yourself Is Worth It

    JUL 11

    The Costs of Self-Abandonment: Why Choosing Yourself Is Worth It

    Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa, Healer & Transformation Guide, In this episode, I want to go deeper than just naming patterns of codependency. Because self-abandonment comes at a cost — and until we see that cost clearly, we stay trapped in cycles of survival instead of living the life we’re here to live. Today, I’m exploring the hidden toll that self-abandonment takes on us — emotionally, physically, spiritually, and in our relationships. In this episode, I’m sharing: ✨ How each emotional struggle — resentment, anxiety, numbness — reveals something sacred we’re sacrificing ✨ How our bodies become messengers when we’re not living in alignment ✨ The quiet spiritual costs of feeling disconnected from purpose, Spirit, and our own soul ✨ The relational pain of feeling unseen  ✨ A sacred inventory practice to help you gently explore where you might be leaving yourself behind and what it would mean to come home to your authenticity.  This episode isn’t about shame or blame. It’s about remembering that your life is sacred — and you are worth fighting for. If you’re ready to begin choosing yourself, even in small ways, I’d love for you to join me. ✨ New episodes drop every week. And if you’d like to explore this work more deeply in community, join me for my live Healing Our Relationships circle on Zoom on the last Thursday of every month. You’ll also find guided meditations, teachings, and resources in my HealSpace app — your sanctuary for coming home to yourself. Let’s keep walking this path together.

    31 min
  9. Codependency vs. True Caring: How to Know the Difference

    JUL 2

    Codependency vs. True Caring: How to Know the Difference

    Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa, Healer and Transformation Guide.  One of the biggest questions I hear from people on the journey of codependency recovery is this: “How do I know if I’m being loving… or if I’m being codependent?” Because when you’re healing from codependency, it can feel confusing to tell the difference between true caring and patterns of people-pleasing, self-abandonment, or over-giving. In this episode, I’m diving deep into how to recognize when your caring is coming from fear, obligation, or anxiety — versus when it’s rooted in genuine love, choice, and self-connection. I’ll talk about:The key differences between codependent behaviors and healthy, interdependent relationships Real-life examples of what codependent caring looks like — and how true caring feels different A story from my own journey of learning to stay connected to myself while loving others Reflection questions to help you explore how these patterns show up in your life If you’ve ever wondered whether helping someone else is codependent or simply part of healthy love… this episode is for you. I want you to know: Caring for others isn’t wrong. The question is whether it includes you, too. Thanks for being here with me. Let’s keep walking this journey — together.

    28 min
  10. How Trauma Responses Shape Codependency

    JUL 2

    How Trauma Responses Shape Codependency

    Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa, Healer and Transformation Guide.  In our first episode, we talked about noticing the ways we abandon ourselves to feel loved, safe, or chosen. But awareness alone can leave us wondering… Why do I keep doing this, even when I know better? In this episode, I want to help you understand why codependency runs so deep. We’ll explore how these patterns don’t just live in our minds — they live in our bodies and our nervous systems. I’ll share how many of us learned, even as children, that our safety and worth depended on keeping others happy, reading the room, and shape-shifting to avoid conflict or rejection. I’ll talk about: How codependency is actually a survival response, not a personality flaw Real-life examples of how these patterns begin in childhood Clues that your nervous system might still be stuck in old survival modes Moments from my own journey of learning to come back to myself I’ll also leave you with reflection questions to help you gently explore where these patterns might still be living in your life and in your body. This work is not about blaming ourselves for the past — it’s about understanding how brilliant and adaptive we were, and how we can now choose something new. Thanks for being here with me. Let’s keep walking this journey — together.

    29 min
  11. What Is Codependency, Really?

    JUL 2

    What Is Codependency, Really?

    Welcome to the first episode of Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa, Healer and Transformation Guide.  If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in relationships… like you’re constantly saying yes when you mean no, staying silent to avoid conflict, or feeling invisible even with the people you love most… you’re not alone. Today, I want to help you begin to understand what codependency really is. Not just the clinical definitions — but the deeper truth: that codependency isn’t who you are. It’s something you learned to do to stay safe. In this episode, I’m sharing: How codependency often begins in childhood and becomes a survival strategy The subtle ways we abandon ourselves to avoid rejection or loss How these patterns live in our nervous systems and shape our relationships A piece of my own journey with codependency Reflection questions to help you notice where you might be leaving yourself behind My hope is that by the end of this conversation, you’ll feel a little less alone… and a little more hopeful that there is a path forward. This work isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering who you are beneath the patterns that once kept you safe. Thanks for being here. Let’s begin this journey together.

    34 min
  12. From Codependency to Authenticity: Begin Your Journey Here

    SEASON 1 TRAILER

    From Codependency to Authenticity: Begin Your Journey Here

    Welcome to Healing Our Relationships. I’m Marisa. I’m a Healer and Transformation Guide, and someone who’s spent years untangling my own patterns of addictions and codependency — and helping others do the same. Join me each week on Healing Our Relationships as I guide you through understanding codependency, reconnecting with your authentic self, and creating relationships rooted in truth. Codependency often sounds clinical, as though it’s only a problem for people in chaotic relationships or recovering from addiction. But it’s subtler and far more pervasive than that. Codependency is what happens every time we abandon ourselves to avoid conflict, rejection, or loss. It’s in the way we swallow words that tremble to be spoken. It’s in the quick, polite yes when everything in our body screams no. It’s in the silence we keep because we’re afraid of being misunderstood. It’s in the way we dim our own light so someone else won’t feel small. These are not failures. They’re survival strategies. Brilliant adaptations we created to stay safe. But survival is not the same as living. And at some point, the strategies that kept us safe become the very cages that keep us disconnected from our truth. Healing Our Relationships is a space to explore all of this with compassion, curiosity, and courage. Together, we’ll talk about how these patterns show up in real life. We’ll learn how to come back to ourselves, even in the middle of messy relationships. And we’ll discover practices for building connection that doesn’t cost us our own wholeness. If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in the name of love… you’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep living that way. Join me as we begin the journey — back home to ourselves.

    2 min

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About

Why do we keep abandoning ourselves in the name of love? Why do we say yes when we mean no, swallow words that ache to be spoken, or feel responsible for keeping everyone else happy — even at the cost of our own peace? Healing Our Relationships is a podcast for anyone who’s ever felt trapped in the patterns of codependency and wondered if there’s another way. I’m Marisa — healer, transformation guide, and someone who’s walked my own long road from self-abandonment to self-trust. In this space, I come as a teacher, guide, and fellow traveler. Together, we’ll explore: What codependency really is — beyond the clinical definitions and clichés How these patterns begin in childhood and live in our nervous systems How to start the healing journey with compassion rather than shame Tools for grounding, boundaries, and somatic awareness Practices for reconnecting to your body, your truth, and your spirit The intersection of spirituality and emotional healing How to move from survival into real connection — first with yourself, and then with others This isn’t just a podcast. It’s a space to breathe, reflect, and remember who you are beneath the patterns that once kept you safe. Alongside these episodes, I also hold a monthly Healing Our Relationships circle live on Zoom — a place for community, sharing, and deeper healing. You’ll find details and more resources on my HealSpace app, where I share guided meditations, teachings, and sacred tools to support your journey. If you’re ready to understand why you do what you do — and how to come home to yourself — I invite you to join me. Together, we’ll explore how to move from codependency to freedom, wholeness, and true connection. Subscribe and let’s begin.

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