How to Trust Yourself: The Messy, Human Path to Becoming Who You Are

Anna Holtzman
  • 5.0 (33)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Hosted by psychotherapist Anna Holtzman, How to Trust Yourself is a podcast about moving through fear, navigating uncertainty, and becoming more fully yourself. Through honest reflections and thoughtful conversations, Anna explores relationships, anxiety, identity, purpose, self-trust, intuition, healing, and what it means to live more authentically — especially in seasons of change. Learn more: www.annaholtzmantherapy.com www.annaholtzman.com www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman

  1. 3d ago

    Ep 136 Cosmic Goodness with Cassidy Gard: Reinvention, Owning Your Story & Finding the Light in the Shadow

    What happens when we stop trying to outrun the parts of our story we wish were different—and begin to understand that those very shadows may hold some of the material for our healing? In this episode, Anna sits down with Cassidy Gard, a three-time Emmy Award-winning television producer, former Good Morning America correspondent, and author of Cosmic Goodness: Surrendering the Shadows to Live in the Light. Cassidy writes and speaks at the intersection of spirituality, motherhood, sobriety, grief, and reinvention. For years, Cassidy made a career out of telling other people’s stories, covering breaking news, mass shootings, the Me Too movement, and some of the most emotionally intense events of our time. Behind the scenes, she was carrying a story of her own: growing up with an alcoholic father, childhood anger and shame, grief, anxiety, and the exhausting work of masking the parts of herself she didn’t yet know how to hold. Cassidy began journaling at seven years old, and writing became both a refuge and, eventually, a way back to herself. In this conversation, she and Anna explore what happens when we turn toward our own inner world, recognize the breadcrumbs we’ve been leaving ourselves all along, and begin trusting the story that wants to emerge. They talk about: • Being highly visible while still hiding in plain sight • Why Cassidy began journaling as a child and how her relationship with writing evolved • The “cosmic winks” and seemingly small clues that can guide us through reinvention • Moving from telling other people’s stories to claiming your own • The emotional toll of working in breaking news and covering traumatic events • Cassidy’s experience caring for her estranged father at the end of his life • Grief, alcoholism, estrangement, and finding peace without receiving the closure you wanted • Why writing a memoir can require giving yourself permission to own your lived experience • Motherhood, sobriety, and intentionally creating a different kind of family life • Why spirituality doesn’t have to mean being endlessly “easy breezy” • The idea that the shadow isn’t the enemy—and that we can’t surrender what we haven’t first acknowledged • How to begin writing when you don’t have huge blocks of uninterrupted time • Trusting that your story is worth telling before you have proof of where it will lead Cassidy also shares a powerful reminder for anyone who feels intimidated by the idea of writing: start smaller than the big picture. A voice memo, an iPhone note, ten minutes stolen from an otherwise full day—all of it counts. The work can accumulate before you ever know exactly what it is becoming. As Cassidy puts it, “The shadow is also where the medicine is that you’re seeking. You cannot surrender what you have not identified and acknowledged.” Connect with Cassidy Learn more about Cosmic Goodness: Surrendering the Shadows to Live in the Light at CosmicGoodness.com. Follow Cassidy on Instagram at @cassidygard. Cosmic Goodness is available wherever books are sold. If you read it, consider leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads—reviews can make a meaningful difference for debut authors. Connect with Anna Follow Anna on Instagram: @anna_holtzman Learn more about Anna’s work: www.annaholtzman.com Send Anna an email and tell her what stayed with you from this episode: anna@annaholtzman.com

  2. Aug 14

    Ep 135 Paint, Rest, Repeat with Ros Gervay: Creativity, Capacity & Building a Sustainable Artist Life

    In this episode, Anna sits down with Australian botanical artist and creative mentor Ros Gervay to explore what it actually looks like to build a thriving creative life grounded not in hustle, but in capacity, compassion, and sustainable momentum. In this episode, we explore: • The story behind “Paint Rest Repeat” Why Ros insists that rest is a core business strategy, how she learned it the hard way, and why true artistic growth doesn’t come from pushing — but from honoring your actual bandwidth. • How Ros balances creativity, business, and wellbeing Especially for sensitive creatives and folks with chronic stress responses, we talk about how to create, grow, and share your work without overwhelming your nervous system. • The challenges emerging artists face most Including fear of visibility, perfectionism, comparison, pricing fears, creative paralysis, and the belief that they need to “earn” their right to call themselves an artist. • How Ros helps artists move through those barriers Through community, mindset work, permission-giving, capacity-based planning, and reminding them that they’re allowed to build a business that actually fits them. • What lights Ros up most about her work today Hint: it has everything to do with witnessing artists come home to their own voice, trust themselves, and grow in ways that feel aligned — not forced. This episode is equal parts grounding and inspiring — a gentle permission slip to build your creative life in a way that honors your whole self. Connect with Ros • Shop Art: www.rosgervayart.com • For Artists: www.permissiontopaint.co • Artist Community: www.facebook.com/groups/permissiontopaintfreecommunity • Podcast: https://www.permissiontopaint.co/podcast • Instagram: @rosgervayart • Facebook: @rosgervayart • YouTube: @rosgervay Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

  3. Aug 7

    Ep 134 Expanding Hope & Healing with Lara Birk, PhD: Speaking Truth, Navigating Fear, and Leading with Nuance

    In this episode, Anna sits down with Lara Birk, PDH, founder of The Sage Practice and one of the most thoughtful, compassionate, and courageous voices in mind-body healing today. Lara’s work is rooted in lived experience: her own journey through a rare medical condition as a teenager, 17 surgeries, structural complications, chronic pain, and decades of navigating a system that often has no place for complexity. Her mission is to expand the field of mind-body medicine so that more people see themselves represented — and more people can access hope. In this episode, we talk about: • The behind-the-scenes of her recent Curable interview Why speaking publicly felt both empowering and terrifying — and what it took emotionally to step onto a platform where her perspective diverged from the status quo. • Navigating fear before doing something that might “rock the boat” The internal dialogue, the nervous-system responses, the questions of belonging, and the ways Lara grounded herself through the lead-up to that conversation. • Why she chose to speak up anyway The deeper calling beneath the personal fear — including representation, inclusion, integrity, and service to the people whose experiences mirror her own. • How it feels now that the interview is out in the world Relief, vulnerability, pride, activation — and the tender mix that comes when you’ve put your truth somewhere public. • What she’s learning from the emotional aftermath How this moment is shaping her personal journey, her self-trust, and her evolving voice as a leader inside her field. • Her message to anyone considering sharing their own truth Her advice on pacing, nervous-system safety, self-attunement, community support, and the reality that you don’t have to be fearless — just resourced enough to take the next step. This is a beautiful conversation about courage, nuance, authenticity, and what it means to become visible in a way that honors who you really are. Connect with Lara • Website: https://www.thesagepractice.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesagepractice/ Find Lara’s courses, 1:1 and group coaching, somatic tracking recordings, and extensive free resources on her website. Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

  4. Jul 31

    Episode 133: Does My Suffering Count? Why Gratitude Shouldn't Stop You from Feeling Your Feelings

    Have you ever caught yourself thinking: "I shouldn't complain. Other people have it so much worse." Or... "I have so much to be grateful for. I shouldn't feel this way." If so, you're not alone. In this solo episode, Anna explores why these seemingly innocent thoughts can actually become a form of emotional self-censorship. While gratitude is a beautiful and important practice, it can sometimes be used—often without us realizing it—to invalidate our own emotional experience. Drawing from her work as a therapist, Anna explains how many people learn to interrupt their feelings before they've had the chance to be fully experienced. Whether you've been the strong one, the capable one, the caretaker, the successful one, or simply the person everyone assumes is "doing fine," you may have internalized the belief that your struggles don't deserve the same compassion as everyone else's. In this episode, Anna explores: • Why asking "Does my suffering count?" may actually be the wrong question • The difference between genuine gratitude and emotional invalidation • Why so many of us mistake expressing our feelings for "complaining" • How emotional self-censorship becomes a habit • The connection between chronic emotional suppression, anxiety, burnout, and mind-body symptoms • What Anna means by the phrase disenfranchised suffering • How practicing unconditional self-compassion supports emotional healing If you've ever felt guilty for struggling because your life looks good on the outside—or if you've found yourself minimizing your own pain because others have it worse—this episode offers a compassionate invitation to stop judging your emotions and start listening to them instead. Resources & Links: Learn more about Anna's therapy practice: https://www.annaholtzmantherapy.com Follow Anna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ If this episode resonated with you, please consider following the podcast, leaving a rating or review, and sharing it with someone who might need to hear this reminder: your emotions do not have to earn the right to be met with compassion.

  5. Jul 24

    Ep 132 Sustaining Creativity (When You Don’t Feel Very Creative) with Mari Reisberg

    In this episode, Anna sits down with Mari Reisberg, therapist, performer, creativity coach, and host of the Sustaining Creativity Podcast. Mari’s work lives at the intersection of somatic therapy, performance, and play — and her core belief is simple: life gets a lot more fun when we tap into our creativity. Together, they explore how creativity shows up in everyday life (even for people who don’t think of themselves as “creative”), why so many of us feel blocked or disconnected from it, and what it actually takes to sustain creative energy over the long haul. In this episode, we talk about: • What creativity really is — beyond art, performance, or “talent” • Whether creativity is something we’re born with or something we can grow • Why so many adults feel creatively shut down or “not imaginative anymore” • Common barriers that get in the way of creativity, including perfectionism, fear of judgment, and productivity culture • How nervous system states (freeze, overwhelm, stress) impact creative flow • Why creativity coaching can be so supportive — and what it actually looks like • Simple, doable tools Mari uses to help clients reconnect with their creative selves • How play, movement, and silliness can become powerful creative practices • Practices for sustaining creativity over time instead of only in short bursts • How to start small if you’re feeling blocked, tired, or creatively “out of shape” This is a gentle, joyful invitation to remember that creativity isn’t something you either have or don’t — it’s a relationship you can rebuild, one tiny experiment at a time. Connect with Mari • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sustainingcreativity/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sustainingcreativity • Podcast: https://sustainingcreativity.buzzsprout.com • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mari-reisberg-b1320151/ Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

  6. Jul 17

    Ep 131 Don't Try Harder, Try Softer: The Mindset Shift That Changed My Healing (and My Life)

    What if the reason you're feeling stuck isn't that you're not trying hard enough... but that you're trying too hard? In this solo episode, Anna shares one of the most transformative lessons she learned during her own recovery from chronic migraine: "Don't try harder. Try softer." Originally shared by mind-body physician Dr. John Stracks, this simple phrase didn't fully make sense to Anna until one unforgettable migraine attack revealed the surprising way her inner critic had hijacked her healing. She realized she was literally trying to force herself to relax—using pressure, perfectionism, and self-criticism in the hope of calming her nervous system. The irony made her laugh. And that moment of laughter became the beginning of a profound shift—not just in her physical healing, but in the way she relates to herself as a therapist, business owner, partner, and stepmom. In this episode, Anna explores why lasting growth often begins when we stop trying to fix ourselves and start staying on our own side instead. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why trying harder can sometimes keep your nervous system stuck • The surprising role self-compassion played in Anna's chronic migraine recovery • How perfectionism and self-criticism often masquerade as motivation • The difference between pursuing outcomes and changing your relationship with yourself • A simple mindset shift you can practice in any area of life where you feel pressure to "get it right" Whether you're navigating chronic symptoms, burnout, anxiety, relationship struggles, or simply feeling like you're never doing enough, this episode offers a gentler—and often more effective—way forward. Connect with Anna If this episode resonated with you, Anna would love to hear your thoughts. 📧 Email: anna@annaholtzman.com Interested in working together? Learn more about therapy, coaching, and Anna's Seen & Safe group at: https://www.annaholtzman.com If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could use the reminder that sometimes the path forward isn't to try harder—it's to try softer.

  7. Jul 10

    Ep 129 “Why Do I Keep Doing This?” with Kati Morton: Breaking Emotional Loops & Rebuilding Self-Trust

    In this episode, Anna sits down with Kati Morton, LMFT, bestselling author and one of the internet’s most trusted mental-health educators. Kati has spent more than a decade helping millions of people understand their emotions, navigate trauma, and break unhealthy patterns. Her latest book, Why Do I Keep Doing This?, unpacks the emotional habits we fall into — and what it actually takes to change them from the inside out. In this episode, we explore: • What inspired her new book How Kati sees “doing this” — the patterns, habits, and emotional cycles we repeat — showing up in her own life and in her clients. • The truth that even therapists get stuck Why mental-health professionals aren’t immune to autopilot patterns… and the early signs Kati looks for in herself when she’s drifting away from alignment. • Burnout cycles & nervous-system loops Especially for sensitive creatives, caretakers, and over-functioners: o why burnout often comes from emotional over-responsibility o how chronic self-abandonment masquerades as “being capable” o the biological and psychological loops that keep people stuck o how to tell the difference between capacity and compulsion • What it means to shift safely Kati shares the gentlest places to begin — including micro-bids for rest, nervous-system resets, interrupting old narratives, and slowly rebuilding trust with yourself so change doesn’t feel threatening. • Why shame blocks every kind of healing And what happens when we bring curiosity instead of self-criticism to our patterns. • Practical tools for coming back to yourself From checking in with your body before your to-do list, to noticing emotional “flare alerts,” to using supportive structure without falling into perfectionism. This conversation is validating, clarifying, honest, and deeply hopeful. If you’re tired of your own loops, this one’s for you. Connect with Kati • Website: https://www.katimorton.com/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/katimorton • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton/ • Her books, including Why Do I Keep Doing This?, Are U OK?, and Traumatized Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

  8. Jul 3

    Ep 129 Why Being "Good" Might Be Making You Sick: The Hidden Cost of Goodism

    Many of us pride ourselves on being good people. We strive to be helpful, responsible, accommodating, generous, and easy to love. On the surface, these qualities seem unquestionably positive. But what happens when being "good" becomes something we feel compelled to perform in order to earn love, approval, or belonging? In this episode, therapist Anna Holtzman explores the concept of goodism—a term coined by mind-body physician Dr. John Sarno to describe the tendency to organize our identity around being good. Drawing from both her personal life and her work with therapy clients, Anna explores how goodism can show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-achieving, over-giving, and chronic self-monitoring. She also examines the hidden toll these patterns can take on our nervous systems, relationships, and physical health. If you've ever found yourself wondering: • Am I doing enough? • What do other people need from me? • Will I still be loved if I disappoint someone? • Why do I feel so exhausted, resentful, or disconnected from myself? ...this episode is for you. In this episode, you'll learn: • What "goodism" is and how it differs from genuine kindness • How people-pleasing and over-functioning can become stress responses • Why chronic adaptation to others can keep your nervous system stuck in survival mode • How goodism can contribute to burnout, chronic stress, and stress-related symptoms • Why becoming the "supporting character" in your own life is so costly • A simple practice to help you reconnect with yourself and begin stepping back into the role of main character in your own life Reflection Questions: • In what area of your life are you living as a supporting character rather than the main character? • What would it look like to put yourself first today? If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at anna@annaholtzman.com. Connect with me: Website: www.annaholtzmantherapy.com Instagram: @anna_holtzman If you're enjoying the podcast, please consider following, rating, or leaving a review. It helps more listeners discover the show.

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Hosted by psychotherapist Anna Holtzman, How to Trust Yourself is a podcast about moving through fear, navigating uncertainty, and becoming more fully yourself. Through honest reflections and thoughtful conversations, Anna explores relationships, anxiety, identity, purpose, self-trust, intuition, healing, and what it means to live more authentically — especially in seasons of change. Learn more: www.annaholtzmantherapy.com www.annaholtzman.com www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman

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