How to Trust Yourself: The Messy, Human Path to Becoming Who You Are

Anna Holtzman
  • 5.0 (32)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Hosted by psychotherapist Anna Holtzman, How to Trust Yourself is a podcast about moving through fear, navigating uncertainty, and becoming more fully yourself. Through honest reflections and thoughtful conversations, Anna explores relationships, anxiety, identity, purpose, self-trust, intuition, healing, and what it means to live more authentically — especially in seasons of change. Learn more: www.annaholtzmantherapy.com www.annaholtzman.com www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman

  1. 1h ago

    Ep 127 How Self-Protection Keeps Us Lonely (and What Helps Us Feel Safe to Connect)

    Why can opening up feel so hard, even when connection is exactly what we want? In this solo episode, Anna reflects on a recent experience that unexpectedly cracked something open in her: an intimate dinner conversation with a cousin that led to a moment of tenderness, vulnerability, and surprising emotional healing. Although Anna has done years of therapy and personal growth work around painful experiences from her past, she found herself unexpectedly caught off guard by something deeper: how difficult it still felt to receive empathy. This episode explores the subtle ways we learn to protect ourselves after heartbreak, rejection, misunderstanding, or emotional pain — and how those protective patterns, while understandable, can quietly keep us from the belonging we most long for. Drawing from both personal experience and the novel Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid, Anna explores: • Why vulnerability can feel emotionally risky • How painful past experiences shape our nervous system and expectations of others • The hidden ways self-protection can keep us disconnected • Why receiving empathy can sometimes feel just as vulnerable as sharing pain • The difference between overwhelming vulnerability and thoughtful, nervous-system-safe openness • How to begin taking small risks toward deeper connection and belonging If you've ever found yourself longing for closeness while also keeping your guard up, this episode is for you. Reflection Questions from This Episode: • What am I actually trying to protect myself from? • Are my present circumstances truly evidence that the past will repeat itself? • What might it feel like to receive empathy, understanding, or care? • Who is one thoughtfully chosen person I might take a small risk to open up to? Want support in building greater self-trust, connection, and emotional safety? Anna offers private therapy for women in New York and therapeutic coaching outside New York. Learn more at https://linktr.ee/annaholtzman Interested in practicing vulnerability and visibility in community? Learn more about Anna’s group, Seen & Safe, at: www.annaholtzman.com/seen-and-safe

    20 min

  2. Jun 12

    Ep 126 Public Speaking for Introverts (and Anyone Who’s Scared of Being Seen) with Stephanie Thoma

    In this episode, Anna sits down with Stephanie Thoma, speaker coach, author of Confident Introvert and Not That Sweet, and founder of Connect With Confidence. Stephanie helps introverts and rising leaders craft keynote talks, strengthen their messaging, build speaking schedules, and — most importantly — connect with people in a way that feels meaningful rather than performative. Stephanie is not in the business of polishing people into “perfect” speakers. She helps them root into who they already are, speak from truth, and create connection instead of performance. In this episode, we talk about: • Why the idea that “public speaking is for extroverts” is completely false • What makes introverts powerful, resonant speakers — often more compelling than extroverts • Why Stephanie cares so deeply about helping quieter voices step forward and be heard • The fears clients come in with: o fear of judgment o fear of blanking out o fear of “taking up space” o fear of being boring or “too much” o fear of being seen as an authority • The nervous-system dynamics behind speaking anxiety • How Stephanie helps people regulate, reframe, and root into safety before they ever get on stage • The tools she uses with clients — including confidence mapping, energy calibration, embodied presence, intention-setting, and speaking from connection instead of perfection • Why being a great speaker is about meaning not performance • Stories of clients who went from terrified to empowered — including introverts who now lead teams, deliver keynotes, and speak with grounded confidence • Why visibility is not a personality trait — it’s a practiced skill anyone can grow This episode is an invitation to unmute yourself, meet your fear with compassion, and step into the kind of speaking that feels like you. Connect with Stephanie • Website: https://stephaniethoma.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniemthoma/ • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniemthoma/ • Join her UnMute Yourself community: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/14699045/ Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

    50 min

  3. Jun 5

    Ep 125 When Fear Takes Over: Panic, Inner Conflict & Learning to Trust Yourself

    What do you do when fear takes over? How do you trust yourself when your nervous system is fully activated? And how do you move through moments of fear without swinging to one of two extremes: reacting impulsively in an attempt to regain safety… or overriding your own experience and convincing yourself everything is fine? In this deeply personal solo episode, Anna explores what happens internally when fear, self-doubt, attachment wounds, and conflicting inner parts all begin speaking at once. Because often the hardest moments in life aren’t the external events themselves. It’s the inner grappling that follows. The part of you that wants reassurance. The part that wants to protect. The part that feels ashamed for having needs. The part that questions your own perception. Through the lens of a recent emotionally activating experience, Anna shares what it looked like to navigate fear in real time — not perfectly, but honestly — and what emerged about nervous system regulation, self-trust, emotional repair, and staying connected to yourself while messy and uncertain. This episode is not about getting it “right.” It’s about what it looks like to stay in relationship with yourself when you feel activated, conflicted, scared, and human. In this episode, we explore: • The difference between overreacting from fear and underreacting from fear — and how both can disconnect us from ourselves • What happens in the nervous system when we feel emotionally threatened or unsafe • How attachment stories and old fears quietly shape our reactions • Why conflicting inner parts can make self-trust feel confusing in difficult moments • Why emotional activation doesn’t mean something is wrong with you • What emotional repair can actually look like after hard moments • How to navigate inner conflict without abandoning yourself • Why “good enough” emotional processing matters more than perfection If you’ve ever spiraled, second-guessed yourself, struggled to know whether your feelings were valid, or felt caught between fear and self-abandonment, this episode is for you. Connect with Anna: 📧 anna@annaholtzman.com 🌐 annaholtzman.com 📸 @anna_holtzman If this episode resonated, Anna would love to hear what landed for you.

    33 min

  4. May 29

    Ep 121 Sensitivity, Creativity & Self-Healing: A Conversation with Musician + Healer Noga Shefi

    In this soulful and expansive episode, Anna speaks with Noga Shefi — musician, healer, and guide for sensitive creatives — about what it means to heal, create, and live from a regulated, intuitive, embodied place. Noga’s personal story is profound. After being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2010 and told she’d be suffering for life, she embarked on a deep healing journey that took her far beyond conventional medicine. From gut-brain healing to meditation retreats, from subtle energy work to dreamwork, from nervous system regulation to spiritual study — Noga followed her sensitivity inward and found a path to healing. Now she brings that wisdom to other creatives and sensitives who want to grow, create, and serve without burning out. In this episode, we explore: • What it’s like to balance being a musician and a healer • How creativity feeds healing — and how healing expands creativity • The double-edged sword of being a sensitive creative (and how Noga navigates her own sensitivity) • Why sensitivity is not a liability, but an intelligence • How to recognize the early signs of emotional or nervous system overwhelm • The tools Noga uses daily to regulate, reset, and ground • The healing modalities that supported her Crohn’s remission — and that she now shares with clients • What it means to live from intuition rather than fear • Her favorite practices for supporting sensitive creatives in their path of transformation This is a grounding, nourishing, deeply validating conversation for anyone who identifies as sensitive, intuitive, creative, or easily overwhelmed — and who wants to learn to work with their sensitivity instead of against it. Connect with Noga • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/noga.shefi/ •. The Reset Ritual (Free resource) - https://noga-s-site.thinkific.com/products/courses/new-course-1 •. Nervous System Sorcery (online course)https://noga-s-site.thinkific.com/products/courses/new-course •. The Wild Frequency Retreat: a 7-day women's music creation retreat in Mexico https://www.eltriangulo.co/the-wild-frequency-retreat • Podcast: Your Healing Era Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

    51 min

  5. May 22

    Ep 123 You Don’t Need to Become Someone Else to Be Worthy

    Have you ever found yourself twisting into a pretzel trying to become the “right” version of yourself? The more visible we become — in business, relationships, leadership, creativity, or simply stepping into a new chapter — the easier it is to lose trust in ourselves and start overcomplicating everything. We think we need to be more polished, more impressive, more productive, more “on.” But what if the thing people most need from us is actually the part of us that already comes naturally? In this solo episode, Anna shares a story from her Seen & Safe group about a practitioner who got stuck trying to sound smart and professional while creating a presentation — until one simple question unlocked her natural gifts and creativity. Anna also shares a deeply personal story about becoming a stepmother and the pressure she once put on herself to prove she was “good enough” in the role — until an unexpected conversation with her husband helped her realize something powerful: Sometimes the most valuable thing we contribute is something we barely notice because it feels so natural to us. In this episode, we explore: • Why stepping into visibility often makes us abandon ourselves • The sneaky ways we overcomplicate things when we care deeply • How nervous system pressure can disconnect us from creativity and intuition • Why trying harder often backfires • The surprising power of simply being yourself • How community and reflection help us see gifts we can’t always recognize on our own • A gentle question to help you reconnect with what already flows naturally in your life If you’ve been feeling stuck, efforting, overthinking, or trying to squeeze yourself into a version of success that doesn’t quite feel like you, this episode is for you. Want support moving through fear of visibility and reconnecting to your authentic voice? Anna’s group coaching membership, Seen & Safe, is a nervous-system-informed space for sensitive creatives, coaches, and entrepreneurs who want to stop hiding and start showing up in a way that feels aligned and sustainable. Learn more: annaholtzman.com/seenandsafe — Connect with Anna: Podcast: How to Trust Yourself Instagram: @anna_holtzman Website: annaholtzman.com

    23 min

  6. May 15

    Ep 122 Food, Community & Returning to Your Creative Self: A Conversation with Chef Ashley Olson

    In this rich, heartfelt episode, Anna is joined by Ashley Olson, Founder and Executive Chef of Southern with a French Twist. Ashley creates intimate culinary experiences across Austin and the Hill Country — from luxury dinner parties to private jet catering — with a philosophy that blends Southern warmth with French finesse. But this episode isn’t just about food. It’s about returning to the parts of yourself you left behind. It’s about trusting the unknown. It’s about community, creativity, and the radical act of showing up authentically in a world that often feels isolating. Ashley shares the winding path that took her from corporate tech burnout to culinary school to building a business centered on connection and hospitality. She talks about shame-free childhood creativity, the vulnerability of letting herself be seen, and the courage of choosing a life without knowing where it will lead. She also shares her passion for reimagining the culinary workplace — creating environments where chefs are cared for, nourished, and supported rather than burnt out and broken down. In this episode, we explore: • Ashley’s early love of baking and the creative breadcrumbs that led her back to herself • Leaving the corporate grind to follow an intuition she couldn’t explain yet • The role of safe containers — in life, in community, and at the table • How COVID changed gathering culture and sparked Ashley’s business growth • Why authenticity is terrifying (and necessary) for building anything meaningful • Coming home to your own creative identity — and the business that emerges when you stop shape-shifting • What makes Southern with a French Twist different from traditional private chefing • The importance of bringing hospitality to both clients and the chefs behind the scenes • Ashley’s dreams for the future: a movement around gathering, and a radically healthy culinary workplace • The practical, grounded conversation she has with fear every single day • How to recognize the “heat map” of fear and follow it toward creativity This episode is a warm meal for anyone longing for creativity, connection, or permission to return to the truest parts of themselves. Connect with Ashley • Website: https://www.southernwithafrenchtwist.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chef.ashley.olson/ Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

    56 min

  7. May 8

    Ep 121 Craft, Curiosity & Creative Devotion: A Conversation with Ceramic Artist Hannie Goldgewicht

    In this intimate and inspiring conversation, Anna talks with award-winning ceramic artist Hannie Goldgewicht, whose work blends wheel-thrown pottery with pine-needle basketry — a unique hybrid rooted in her Costa Rican upbringing, her travels throughout Latin America and beyond, and her lifelong devotion to handmade craft. Hannie’s creative journey began in childhood, learning soldering and jewelry-making from her mother, experimenting with every medium imaginable, and eventually studying sculpture at the Universidad de Costa Rica with honors. She later traveled the world, apprenticed with master artists, and built a career that has earned her multiple Best in Show awards, features in American Craft Council Magazine, and an invitation to the prestigious Cheongju International Craft Biennale in Korea. Alongside her husband and creative partner, artist and model-maker Leo Gotlibowski, Hannie has also created life-size sculptures for the Costa Rican Pre-Columbian Gold Museum — work that is now on permanent display. In this episode, we explore: • Hannie’s lifelong relationship with clay — and why ceramics remains her creative home • The grounding, meditative, deeply human qualities of handmade craft • How she balances being both an artist and a business owner • The surprising ways creativity shows up in the business side of her work • What it takes to stay committed through the “messy middle” — the long uncertain stretch all artists face • How Hannie navigated doubts, pivots, and experimentation in her early career • Her practices for returning to curiosity when inspiration feels far away • The importance of patience, devotion, and staying close to the materials you love This is a conversation about art, but it’s also a conversation about resilience, craft, and what it means to build a life anchored in creativity over the long term. Connect with Hannie • Website: https://www.hanniegold.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hanniegoldart Connect with Anna • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/ • Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/ • Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

    54 min

  8. May 1

    Ep 120 The Real Reason You Don’t Feel Ready (It’s Not Lack of Skill)

    What if the reason you don’t feel confident… isn’t because you’re unqualified? In this solo episode, I share a simple but powerful shift that came out of a recent Seen & Safe group session—one that challenges the common belief that we need to become experts before we can show up fully. We often tell ourselves: “I need more training.” “I need more experience.” “I need to feel ready first.” But what if confidence doesn’t come from mastery? What if it comes from something much more accessible? In this episode, I explore the idea that confidence is built through proximity over time—not perfection—and how our nervous system plays a central role in whether something feels safe or threatening. And yes… there’s also a slightly chaotic (and slightly gross) story about my cats adjusting to a new litter robot that somehow brings this whole concept to life. If you’ve been circling something—public speaking, sharing your work, making a move in your business, or even just expressing yourself more honestly—this episode will help you understand what’s actually getting in the way, and how to move forward in a way that feels grounded and doable. In this episode, we explore: • Why feeling “unskilled” is often a nervous system response, not a true lack of ability • The difference between mastery vs. familiarity—and why we confuse the two • How fear convinces you to delay action in the name of “preparation” • What actually builds confidence (hint: it’s not more studying) • How to use graded exposure, self-soothing, and co-regulation to take your next step • Why safe, supportive spaces can accelerate your growth in ways you can’t do alone If you’re ready to stop waiting until you feel “ready” and start gently stepping into what’s calling you, you’re in the right place. And if you’re looking for a space to practice this in real time, Seen & Safe is my small group coaching space for sensitive creatives, entrepreneurs, and humans in transition who want to build visibility with nervous system support. You can learn more or reach out here: 🌐 www.annaholtzman.com/seenandsafe 📧 Anna@AnnaHoltzman.com

    23 min
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5
out of 5
32 Ratings

About

Hosted by psychotherapist Anna Holtzman, How to Trust Yourself is a podcast about moving through fear, navigating uncertainty, and becoming more fully yourself. Through honest reflections and thoughtful conversations, Anna explores relationships, anxiety, identity, purpose, self-trust, intuition, healing, and what it means to live more authentically — especially in seasons of change. Learn more: www.annaholtzmantherapy.com www.annaholtzman.com www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman

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