The High Achieving Woman with Ashleigh Mayfield

Ashleigh Mayfield
  • 4.8 (236)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Biweekly

Join Ashleigh Mayfield as she pushes high-achieving women to become the confident leader their success requires.

  1. 3d ago

    Emotional Intelligence: Social Awareness (Part 3 of 4)

    Part 3 of a four-part series on emotional intelligence. Parts 1 and 2 covered self-awareness and self-management - what is happening inside you. This episode turns outward to social awareness: the ability to read a room, to notice what other people are feeling, and to respond to what they actually need rather than what you assume they need. Ashleigh covers what social awareness is and is not, why recognizing someone's emotions is not the same as agreeing with them, and the signals of low social awareness - interrupting, dominating conversations, joking in sensitive moments, and defaulting to a victim mindset when you are the common denominator. She then gives three ways to develop it: 1. Ask one question: "Do you want me to be your friend or do you need me to be your leader?" She walks through what each answer sounds like in business, tells the story of the team member who chose "leader" during a family crisis, and shows how the same question works with your kids. 2. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and assume positive intent instead of negative intent - the speeding driver, the kid who blows up after school, the customer who does not message you back. 3. Be fully present. Ninety-three percent of communication is non-verbal, and multitasking costs you all of it. Content note: this episode includes a story, shared with permission, about a friend whose teenage daughter attempted to take her own life. It runs from roughly 13:58 to 17:10. CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome back and the coaching call giveaway 00:48 Start with Part 1 if you missed it 01:18 Can you read the room? 01:37 Why pattern recognition became my superpower 01:59 What's happening in me vs. what's happening in you 02:30 The friend who can't see me 03:17 Social awareness is about you seeing other people 03:40 The questions that test your social awareness 04:24 Empathy, listening, and perspective-taking 05:23 Recognizing emotions isn't the same as agreeing 06:02 Get curious instead of assuming the worst 06:29 Be what they need, not what you think they need 06:55 The two versions of me 07:52 The Mario hat from Target 08:34 "I'm putting my red hat on now" 09:19 Different people need different things 10:38 The habits that signal low social awareness 11:09 When you're the common denominator 11:54 How to develop social awareness 12:32 Tip 1: Friend or leader? 13:58 A story I've told many times, with permission 17:10 Don't assume you know what someone needs 18:22 Tip 2: Put yourself in someone else's shoes 18:55 Assume positive intent 20:38 Tip 3: Be fully present 21:14 The power of people watching 21:48 You always have a choice Enter the giveaway for a free 30-45 minute one-on-one coaching call: leave a five-star review, screenshot it, and tag @theashleighmayfield on Instagram or Facebook.

  2. Sep 7

    Social Management: Handling Conflict, Feedback, and Boundaries in Your Relationships (Emotional Intelligence, Part 4)

    Social management is the fourth and final pillar of emotional intelligence, and it is the one that decides whether your relationships survive conflict. Social awareness is reading the room. Social management is knowing what to do in the room. In this episode Ashleigh Mayfield covers what poor social management looks like in practice: avoiding difficult conversations, exploding during conflict, passive aggression, holding grudges, people pleasing, and weak boundaries. She explains ice box anger, the habit of not reacting at all, and why small relationship problems become big relationship problems when nobody knows how to handle them early. She then gives three practical tools. First, how to take feedback well: pause, do not get defensive, and ask whether the person bringing it has good intentions. Second, why the sandwich method of feedback, positive then negative then positive, is a terrible leadership practice that makes every compliment you give sound disingenuous, and what to say instead. Third, asking permission before you vent, so that respect is built into the relationship on both ends. CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome and thank you 00:56 Part four: what social management is 01:38 Seven questions that expose your social management 02:14 Reading the room vs. knowing what to do in it 02:59 Don't shoot holes in your own boat 03:19 Why we throw relationships away 04:14 Ice box anger: the people who never react 04:52 What poor social management looks like 05:46 Learn to take feedback well 07:06 Why the sandwich method is terrible 09:28 Ask permission before you vent 10:21 Vent up, not down 11:03 Closing Topics: emotional intelligence, social management, relationship management, conflict resolution, giving feedback, the sandwich method, boundaries, passive aggression, people pleasing, leadership communication. Leave a five star review, screenshot it, and tag @theashleighmayfield on Instagram or Facebook to enter the raffle for a one-on-one coaching call.

  3. Aug 31

    Emotional Intelligence: Self-Management (Part 2 of 4)

    Part 2 of a four-part series on emotional intelligence. This episode covers self-management: the ability to control what you are feeling when you are feeling it. Self-management is not about ignoring your feelings or pretending they do not exist. It is about making sure your emotions do not negatively run or ruin your life. Ashleigh describes it as creating a pocket of space between what you feel and how you respond. Ashleigh tells the story of a 2018 company conference where her leader moved nine lanes down at a bowling alley event, leaving her at a lane with only her husband and one team member. She explains what she felt in that moment, why she chose not to leave, and how that single decision led to a twenty-minute conversation with the founder of her company. Thirteen months later her monthly income went from about $4,000 to $48,000 in one month. She also covers what poor self-management costs you in leadership, why people value a predictable leader, and what growing up in an unpredictable household taught her about walking on eggshells. The episode closes with three techniques for developing self-management: 1. Change your location. Get up, leave the room, take a walk, breathe different air before you react. 2. Box breathing. Inhale for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, tracing a box in your mind's eye to calm your nervous system. 3. Sleep on it. You do not need to respond immediately. Wait a day, a few days, or a week before you address the situation. CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome back — and thank you for the reviews 00:19 Leave a review, win a one-on-one coaching session 00:55 Where we are in the four-part emotional intelligence series 01:14 The one I was worst at 01:34 Self-management is not about ignoring your feelings 02:20 When one bad comment could ruin my entire day 02:50 "I'm a serial quitter" 03:58 Splitsville: the incentive I qualified for 05:13 My leader moved nine lanes down 06:01 "This is a moment that makes you feel inadequate, isn't it?" 07:23 Fixing my face and asking strangers to bowl 08:23 The leader who said "I'm gonna stay with you" 08:48 The founder of the company walks in 10:13 $4,000 a month to $48,000 in one month 10:59 Self-management, defined 12:28 The pocket of space between what you feel and what you do 13:22 Growing up in an unpredictable household 15:37 Tip 1: Change your location 16:14 Tip 2: Box breathing 18:02 Tip 3: Sleep on it 19:32 It's a muscle you build every day Write a five-star review, screenshot it, and tag Ashleigh on Instagram or Facebook to be entered for a free one-on-one coaching session. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theashleighmayfield/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theashleighmayfield YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AshleighMayfield The High Achieving Woman with Ashleigh Mayfield. Over 10 years coaching high-achieving women in personal leadership, business, and the messy middle between the career you have and the calling you cannot shake.

  4. Aug 24

    Emotional Intelligence, Part 1: Self-Awareness

    Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and to understand and influence the emotions of other people. It breaks into four parts: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social management. This episode is part one of four, and it covers self-awareness. Ashleigh Mayfield defines self-awareness as the ability to see yourself accurately even when it isn't flattering, and makes the case that most people's biggest obstacle is not their circumstances, their past, or their boss — it's themselves. She tells the story of shutting down her husband Jason's ideas for years without listening, the day he told her she was a dream killer, and what she had to admit afterward: that she was projecting her own insecurities and calling it encouragement. She then covers three practical ways to build self-awareness: asking "why did that bother me?" instead of reacting, asking other people for honest feedback and not defending yourself when you get it, and journaling to find the pattern underneath a repeated emotional reaction. Also in this episode: why a low-EQ woman believes things happen to her while a high-EQ woman knows she controls her response, why people trust predictable leaders, what happened when Ashleigh sent 13 leaders a non-anonymous form asking them to critique her leadership, and why "I'm just being honest" is often just rude. CHAPTERS 0:00 Hey, hey, everybody 0:30 Win a free one-on-one coaching call 1:16 Why a four-part series on emotional intelligence 2:05 The hard truth: I was my own biggest problem 3:40 What emotional intelligence actually means 4:10 The four parts of emotional intelligence 4:46 Low EQ vs. high EQ: who's really in control 5:18 Four questions to gauge where you are 6:00 What a lack of emotional intelligence costs you 7:12 Why people trust a predictable leader 7:54 So what is self-awareness? 8:46 My husband Jason and the dreams I shut down 9:29 "You're a dream killer" 10:39 Your biggest problem is also your biggest solution 11:38 Do other people's opinions pay your bills? 13:04 You cannot lead what you cannot see 15:09 Extreme ownership changed everything 15:48 Habit 1: "Why did that bother me?" 16:44 Habit 2: Ask for honest feedback 17:28 What 13 leaders told me about my leadership 18:40 Habit 3: Journal to find the pattern 20:02 Self-awareness is a muscle Mentioned in this episode: Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink. Leave a five-star review, screenshot it, and tag @theashleighmayfield to be entered to win a 30-45 minute one-on-one coaching call. Drawing at the end of the month.

  5. Aug 18

    How to Be Confident Before You Feel Confident | #AskAshleigh

    How do you build confidence while you're still not confident? Listener Jessica asked, and Ashleigh Mayfield answers in this #AskAshleigh episode. Confidence isn't gifted — it's earned, one kept promise at a time. Ashleigh walks through seven practical shifts: borrow belief until you build your own, keep the promises you make to yourself, start before you're ready, act like your future self, collect evidence instead of emotions, get comfortable being uncomfortable, and stop comparing your beginning to someone else's middle. You don't become confident and then take action — you take action until confidence catches up. Chapters: 0:00 — Intro: the #AskAshleigh question 0:57 — No one feels confident before they start 2:20 — Borrow belief until you build your own 4:16 — Keep the promises you make to yourself 6:13 — Start before you're ready 6:52 — Act like your future self 9:13 — Collect evidence, not emotions 12:44 — Get comfortable being uncomfortable 15:03 — Stop comparing your beginning to their middle 17:40 — Confidence is earned, not gifted Have a question for a future #AskAshleigh? DM Ashleigh on Instagram or Facebook.

  6. Aug 10

    You're Not Where You Want to Be - and How to Fix It

    When you're a high achiever and you're still not where you want to be, the answer isn't to beat yourself up — it's to get honest and take action. In this episode, Ashleigh Mayfield breaks down what to do when you've fallen short of your goals. She covers why frustration is normal but staying stuck isn't, the three levels of getting honest about your activity (showing up, tracking/measuring, and staying consistent), why your action creates motivation instead of the other way around, how discipline beats feelings, why comparison and "looking left and right" drains the energy you need, and how to become the person your results require. Practical, direct personal development for women who want to stop repeating what isn't working and get back on track. Chapters: 0:00 Why you're not where you want to be (and why it's normal) 0:21 Don't self-deprecate — do personal development first 1:45 Frustration is normal, but staying stuck isn't 2:51 The definition of insanity: stop repeating what fails 3:38 Tip 1: Take accountability — get honest about your activity 5:49 Give whole, not half 7:27 Tip 2: Stop waiting until you feel motivated 9:02 It's about discipline, not motivation 11:41 Stop comparing: quit looking left and right 13:42 Celebrate progress, not perfection 15:14 Tip 3: Become the person your result requires 17:48 The goal isn't overnight success

  7. Aug 3

    Winning at Work, Losing at Home: How High-Achieving Women Can Stop Sacrificing Family for the Hustle

    Ashleigh Mayfield opens up about the cost of being addicted to the grind — and the season when her ambition quietly pushed her husband and daughters to the back burner. This is an honest conversation about why "work-life balance" is the wrong target, and what to aim for instead. You'll hear the moment that woke her up (her husband holding a full conversation while she never looked up from her phone), why impacting millions of women means nothing if she isn't present for the two daughters at home, and the three habits that turned it around: scheduling your family as a non-negotiable, being present where your feet are, and bringing your family on the journey with you. If you're a driven woman who loves the chase but doesn't want to become a stranger to the people you're working for, this episode gives you both the honesty and the practical steps. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 00:30 Addicted to the hustle and grind 01:37 Why work-life balance is an illusion 02:39 How compromising family starts small 03:54 The phone problem: never looking up 05:05 When work takes priority over family 08:25 What's the point of the kingdom without your king? 10:35 Rebuilding trust with her daughters 11:56 Why kids need you most in middle school 13:29 Habit 1: Schedule your family 16:40 Habit 2: Be present where your feet are 18:30 Presence beats presents 20:43 Habit 3: Bring your family on the journey 24:00 Letting your kids see you work 26:29 One day your calendar will be empty

  8. Jul 27

    God Is Faithful in Every Season

    "Elijah knew the brook was just a resource and that God was his source." In 1 Kings 17, Elijah walks in on the most evil king Israel has known, announces a drought, and is immediately sent into hiding at the Kerith Ravine. Ravens bring him bread and meat morning and evening. He drinks from the brook. And then the text says something that goes by so fast you'll miss it — sometime later, the brook dried up. Then the word of the Lord came to him. Not before. After. Ashleigh Mayfield teaches this passage in three movements. God is faithful to provide — the ravens and the brook were in place before Elijah ever felt the need, the same way the ram was already caught in the thicket before Abraham climbed the mountain. God is faithful to develop you — Kerith in Hebrew means to cut off, and God hid Elijah at the exact moment he looked most ready to be used, because what happened at the brook was the catalyst for every miracle that came after it. And God is faithful to direct you — but sometimes the direction only comes after the provision is completely gone. She tells it through her own story. In 2014 she and her husband were asked to leave a church over a pastor's affair that wasn't theirs, with two kids under five and no income. She drove 45 minutes to interview for a nine-dollar-an-hour job she didn't want to take, and left with a forty-thousand-dollar salary she hadn't applied for. Nine and a half years later, running a business that had made her the fifteenth-highest income earner in her company, she watched her commissions fall month after month while every door she knocked on stayed shut and God stayed silent. Three weeks of crying. Not released. Staying anyway. If you're in a season where the thing that sustained you is visibly running out and heaven hasn't spoken yet, this one is for you. At some point our faith has to be greater than our feelings — and we have to stop evaluating God's faithfulness by our circumstances and start evaluating our circumstances by God's faithfulness. Scripture — 1 Kings 17.1-7, 1 Samuel 17.37, Genesis 22.13, James 5.17-18, Ephesians 6.12-17, 1 Kings 18.20-40 00:00 Welcome — Turn to 1 Kings 17 00:50 David, Goliath, and the List in My Notes App 03:07 The Big Idea — God Is Faithful in Every Season 04:04 Scripture Reading and Prayer — 1 Kings 17.1-7 05:20 King Ahab, Jezebel, and the God of the Rain 06:41 Point 1 — God Is Faithful to Provide 07:28 2014 — When the Rug Got Pulled Out 09:35 The Nine-Dollar Interview That Wasn't 12:28 Abraham and the Ram — Genesis 22 13:12 Fear, the What-Ifs, and Doing God's Job for Him 14:10 Point 2 — God Is Faithful to Develop You 14:47 Three and a Half Years of Drought — James 5 15:55 Why God Hid Him Instead of Using Him 17:24 The Secret Place — Worship, the Word, and Prayer 19:24 Can You Pray for Seven Minutes? 20:26 Deep Roots, the Oak Tree, and What Kerith Means 21:16 The Armor of God — Ephesians 6 22:28 The Miracles That Came After the Brook 23:39 Your Pastor Isn't Your Main Source of Development 24:41 Point 3 — God Is Faithful to Direct You 25:37 When My Own Brook Started Drying Up 27:36 April and May — Watching the Numbers Fall 29:44 Three Weeks of Crying and Waiting 30:43 The Lord Released Me — Resigning 31:25 Are You Sitting Down? — The Call 32:36 Where the Power of God Actually Was 33:31 The Last Scoops — He Never Complained 34:44 Faith Greater Than Feelings 35:36 Provide, Develop, Direct — The Three Points 35:58 Closing Prayer

See All (99)

4.8
out of 5
236 Ratings

About

Join Ashleigh Mayfield as she pushes high-achieving women to become the confident leader their success requires.

Information