Black Girl Burnout

Kelley Bonner
  • 4.7 (718)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED SEMIWEEKLY

Black Girl Burnout is a podcast about burnout, ambition, care, and what it actually takes to build a life that feels good to live—not just impressive from the outside.  Hosted by Kelley Bonner, the show explores how burnout takes hold, why ambition doesn’t need to be abandoned but redesigned, and how joy, rest, and gentleness can coexist with meaningful work and forward movement. Through reflection, practical insight, and carefully chosen conversations, Black Girl Burnout offers both grounding and direction, helping listeners feel seen and take action toward lives that are sustainable, intentional, and their own.

  1. 6D AGO

    Softness Needs Structure: Tools to Interrupt Burnout Before You Collapse

    Softness isn’t sustained by intention alone — it requires structure. In this episode, Kelley moves beyond philosophy and shares the practical tools she personally uses when she feels burnout creeping in. From recognizing early warning signs like doom scrolling and “tweak loops,” to using nervous system regulation, phone blockers, routines, therapy, and healthy escapism, this conversation is about building support before collapse happens. Staying human is the work — and support is how we keep doing it. Key TakeawaysBurnout shows up in habits first. Pay attention to early signs like poor sleep, urgency without clarity, excessive revising, or physical symptoms.Nervous system regulation is a daily practice, not an emergency fix. Pausing, breathing, moving your body, and centering physical comfort interrupt spirals early.Structure protects softness. Phone blockers, routines, therapy, coaching apps, and healthy escapism create guardrails so you don’t rely on willpower alone.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:02:19 – Burnout doesn’t always look dramatic: how habits become early warning signs 00:06:21 – The power of the pause: using “Let me get back to you” as nervous system regulation 00:16:16 – Why willpower fails under stress — and how external structure (like phone blockers and routines) protects softness 00:24:24 – Healthy escapism vs. numbing: how to tell the difference and why joy is protective Gentle InvitationThis week, instead of waiting for collapse, notice your early signs. What habit shows up when you’re overwhelmed? What good habit disappears? Choose one small guardrail — maybe a 24-hour pause before saying yes, putting your phone in time-out for an hour, or anchoring your morning with one repeatable ritual. Not ten changes. Just one. Build support around your softness. Let that be enough for now. Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    34 min

  2. FEB 18

    Opt Into Caring without Carrying

    Continuing the How to Soften Without Falling Apart series, this episode focuses on the boundaries required to protect your humanity in overwhelming times. Kelley explores why Black women are often conditioned to absorb pain, urgency, and responsibility—and how that leads to exhaustion and burnout. Through nervous-system-informed tools and practical language, she offers a new way forward: learning to respond without absorbing, care without carrying, and stay connected without overextending yourself. Key TakeawaysCompassion does not require absorption—you can care deeply without carrying what isn’t yours.Boundaries are not disconnection; they are how relationships, nervous systems, and softness stay sustainable.Responding with intention is more powerful—and healthier—than reacting with urgency.Episode Highlights & Timestamps[01:13–02:30] “You Can Care Without Carrying” Kelley introduces the core reframe of the episode and names how global grief, personal responsibility, and constant exposure overwhelm the nervous system.[02:54–05:35] Absorbing vs. Responding A clear distinction between emotional absorption and intentional response—and why Black women are often socialized to confuse the two.[09:00–10:32] Nervous System Signals & Regulation How to recognize when you’re absorbing too much and simple, accessible ways to regulate before burnout sets in.[19:29–22:03] Media, Work, and Choosing Limits Why constant exposure to trauma isn’t care—and how limiting media and redefining urgency restores clarity, compassion, and capacity. A Gentle Invitation: Care Without CarryingThis week, notice one place where you may be absorbing more than you need to—whether it’s conversations, media, work urgency, or emotional labor. Choose one small boundary to practice: pausing before responding, limiting exposure, or naming a time limit with love. Boundaries aren’t about becoming cold—they’re how you stay human, compassionate, and connected for the long haul. Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    27 min

  3. FEB 11

    Opt into Staying Soft When Life Is Still Hard

    In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, Kelley names what many of us are living through: the world is still loud, uncertain, and heavy—and there is no clean “after” yet. Instead of focusing on who we’ll become once things settle, this conversation centers on who we are while things are still on fire. Kelley explores how survival mode can quietly become an identity, what we lose when that happens, and why softness isn’t a luxury reserved for easier times. This episode offers a grounded, realistic path toward staying human, gentle, and connected to yourself—even in the middle of crisis. Key TakeawaysSurvival mode is a strategy, not your personality—and staying in it too long can cost you parts of yourself that matter.Softness doesn’t require perfect conditions; it can help you pace yourself, care for your body, and choose what you carry.Protecting your identity in hard times is often quiet, personal work—but it’s essential for long-term sustainability.Episode Highlights & Timestamps[00:00–01:40] Living While Things Are Still HardKelley reframes the conversation away from “after the crisis” and toward how to remain human, soft, and connected to yourself while the world is still unsettled.[02:08–05:43] When Survival Mode Becomes an IdentityA clear breakdown of how survival mode works, why it’s protective, and what happens when it starts shaping behavior—and eventually, identity.[06:09–08:48] Softness Without DelusionKelley explains how softness can coexist with awareness, regulation, and discernment—offering a version of gentleness that doesn’t deny reality.[15:30–17:29] Building a Life QuietlyA powerful reflection on resisting urgency, hustle, and constant reinvention—and why choosing softness and stability leads to a more sustainable life.A Gentle Invitation: Choosing Yourself, Even NowTake a few quiet moments this week to reflect on three things: What values matter to you no matter how hard things get?What parts of yourself do you refuse to harden or lose?What small, realistic activities help you feel like you, even briefly?Write them down. Choose one act of softness—music, rest, beauty, laughter, gentleness—and take it seriously. You don’t need permission to care for yourself while things are still messy. Staying human is not something you wait for—it’s something you practice. Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    21 min

  4. FEB 4

    Opt Into Softness as Survival

    In this episode, Kelley explores why softness is not collapse or avoidance—but a survival strategy in hard times. As the world feels increasingly heavy, she reframes softness as discernment, protection, and a way to stay human without disappearing. Through personal reflection and practical examples, Kelley invites listeners to release constant bracing and reconnect with their bodies, boundaries, and choices. This episode is a reminder that tenderness is not a liability—it’s how we endure with our humanity intact. Key TakeawaysSoftness is not weakness—it’s an embodied way of staying present and human in the face of prolonged stress and uncertainty.Armoring yourself isn’t sustainable; long-term hardness shrinks empathy, imagination, and joy.Softness gives you choices—what to take in, what can wait, and what is (and is not) yours to carry.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:00–03:08 — Why prioritizing softness can feel unrealistic right now—and why it matters more than ever04:00–07:28 — Letting go of survival-mode “warrior” identity and redefining strength08:00–09:00 — Softness as protection: discernment, nervous system flexibility, and choice10:35–14:54 — Practical tools: checking your “battery,” releasing what can wait, and putting down what isn’t yoursA Gentle Invitation to Apply This EpisodeToday, pause and ask yourself one soft, honest question: “What is my capacity right now?” If you’re running low, give yourself permission to take in less—less news, less emotional labor, less urgency. If you have more energy, choose one thing to engage with intentionally, not reflexively. Softness doesn’t require fixing your whole life—it begins with one moment of discernment, one boundary, one small release of tension. Let that be enough for today. Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    21 min

  5. JAN 28

    Nothing Is Wrong With You: How to Cope When the World Is Too Much

    In this episode, Kelley reframes burnout as a response to systems that demand too much—not a personal failure or character flaw. She explores why we internalize stress, how self-betrayal becomes normalized, and what it looks like to support yourself without overriding your body’s needs. You’ll learn how to build support, rhythm, and minimal mindfulness practices that help you stay human in a world that keeps asking for more. Key TakeawaysBurnout is not a personal failure—it’s often the result of long-term systems stress that forces self-betrayal.True support includes who you’re around, what you consume, and whether those things calm or dysregulate your nervous system.Small, consistent rhythms and minimal mindfulness practices can help your body exhale—even in uncertain times.Episode Highlights & Timestamps (4)00:00 – Why “Nothing Is Wrong With You” Needs to Be Said Out Loud: Naming burnout as a normal response to abnormal conditions.02:45 – Burnout as Self-Betrayal, Not Weakness: How systems failure becomes personal harm—and why that matters.05:20 – Redefining Support: People, Media, and Nervous System Safety: Learning to choose relationships and content that feel like a homecoming.11:00 – Rhythm, Systems, and Minimal Mindfulness: Simple practices that give your nervous system something steady to return to.When the World Feels Like Too Much, Try ThisAfter listening, take a quiet moment to ask yourself: What in my life feels nourishing—and what feels depleting? Choose one small shift this week—whether it’s a boundary, a pause, or a grounding practice—that helps your body feel a little safer and more at home. No fixing. No rushing. Just care. Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    21 min

  6. JAN 21

    Why Work Feels Like a Gamble—and How to Opt Out

    In this tools-forward conversation, Kelley sits down with business strategist Jessica Lackey, author of Leaving the Casino, to unpack why so many of us have been taught to gamble with our time, energy, and money in the name of success. This episode challenges the myth that virality, hustle, or six-figure milestones are the key to freedom. Instead, it offers a grounded, nervous-system-safe framework for building careers, businesses, and side hustles that actually support your life. If you’ve ever felt like burnout was a personal failure—or like you’re doing “everything right” but still not getting the return—you’ll leave this conversation with clarity, language, and permission to do things differently. Softness without delusion. Systems without self-abandonment. Staying human is the work. Key TakeawaysVirality is not a business model: Sustainable work is built through repeatable systems and relationships—not gambling on algorithms or “one big moment.”You must know what kind of business you’re running: Delivery-based businesses and creator-based businesses require completely different strategies, timelines, and energy costs.Your Zone of Enoughness matters more than revenue goals: Enoughness includes money, time, flexibility, and creative autonomy—and it shifts across seasons of life.Work should serve your life, not consume it: Whether in corporate or entrepreneurship, success without nervous-system safety is not success.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:00 – Why “softness alone” isn’t enough: Kelley sets the frame: staying human in systems that don’t care about our nervous systems.05:10 – The casino metaphor explained: Jessica breaks down how hustle culture, virality, and business hype mirror gambling logic.17:30 – The questions the casino never asks you: Impact, responsibility, life design, and why most programs skip them entirely.32:00 – Defining your Zone of Enoughness: Money, time, flexibility, and creative autonomy—and why seven figures isn’t a universal goal.40:00 – Corporate survival without burnout: Relationship-building, having a point of view, and why your job will never take care of you.A Gentle InvitationBefore you plan your next move, pause and reflect: Take 10 minutes and answer these questions honestly: What kind of work or business am I actually building right now?Which part of my life do I want this work to protect—not sacrifice?Where might I be chasing a number, title, or outcome that isn’t aligned with my current season?You don’t need a new strategy yet. You need clarity about enough. Let this be an invitation to slow the game down, step out of the casino, and build something that can hold both your ambition and your humanity. Connect with Jessica LackeyLeaving the Casino by Jessica LackeySigned copies + first chapter: https://deeperfoundations.com/casinoLearn more about Jessica’s work: https://deeperfoundations.comFollow Jessica on LinkedinSupport the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    44 min

  7. JAN 14

    You Don’t Have to Conquer the Year — You Can Hold It Gently

    If the year didn’t start gently — if January arrived with tension, grief, or exhaustion instead of clarity — this episode is for you. Kelley offers a softer, more honest way to begin the year: not by conquering it or hardening yourself, but by holding it with both hands. Through a nervous-system-informed lens, she explores why overwhelm and numbness make sense right now, how joy supports regulation rather than avoidance, and how Black women can move forward without abandoning their bodies or humanity in the process. Episode Takeaways1. You don’t need to conquer the year — you can hold it. The pressure to dominate or “win” the year keeps the body braced. Holding the year allows for flexibility, honesty, and care as life unfolds. 2. Overwhelm or numbness is a nervous system response, not a failure. What many people are experiencing is flooding — the body protecting itself from too much stress and information at once. The work is learning how to return to your body, not push past it. 3. Joy is practical, ancestral, and regulating. Joy isn’t denial or indulgence — it’s a way the nervous system receives new information. For Black women, joy is inherited, communal, and a companion to grief, not an escape from it. Timestamps & Highlights(Key moments to revisit) 00:01:06 – 00:02:33Why starting the year tense or guarded makes sense — and why January isn’t a clean reset.00:02:11 – 00:03:28What nervous system flooding is and how it shows up as anxiety or emotional shutdown.00:06:35 – 00:07:52The difference between gripping the year and holding it — and how your body can guide decisions.00:08:18 – 00:10:07Joy as ancestral practice and nervous system regulation, not toxic positivity.Gentle Invitation:As you move through the coming week, pause and ask yourself: Where am I gripping my life too tightly right now — and what would it feel like to soften my hands just a little? Notice what your body needs before deciding what the year should look like. Even one small moment of pleasure, rest, or beauty can remind your nervous system that danger isn’t the only thing happening. Heartache and hope can live in the same body. Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    18 min

  8. JAN 7

    You Don’t Have to Abandon Yourself to Live Well

    Five years into Black Girl Burnout, this season premiere serves as a manifesto and recommitment to living fully without self-abandonment. Kelley reframes burnout as more than a work issue, challenges the lie that success requires suffering, and invites listeners to build lives rooted in softness, ambition, and sustainability—without disappearing, shrinking, or betraying themselves. Key TakeawaysYou can be ambitious without being violent to yourself.Healing does not require disappearing from your life.Soft living is not weakness or laziness—it’s discernment.A meaningful life does not have to cost you your body, joy, or peace.Episode Highlights + Timestamps00:00–01:30 — We’re back: reflecting on five years of Black Girl Burnout and a renewed sense of clarity and purpose05:00–06:30 — “We don’t want to opt out of life—we want to opt out of harm”11:45–13:10 — What living softly actually means (and what it doesn’t)18:30–20:00 — Why you don’t have to abandon yourself to heal, succeed, or live wellA Gentle InvitationAs you move through your week, notice where you may be pushing, forcing, or overriding yourself out of habit. Ask gently: Is this supporting me—or costing me myself? Let this episode be permission to choose a rhythm that allows you to stay present in your life while still moving toward what matters to you. Support the ShowLike, share, and subscribe on all platforms, and find us on social media @blackgirlburnout Subscribe to our newsletter: blackgirlburnout.com Watch the episode on YouTube Drop a review—help us spread the word that rest is not weakness. Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($5/month—the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life. Our SponsorsCheck out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Savvy Ladies: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Our Sponsors: * Check out PharmaNutra and use my code BGB for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    22 min
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4.7
out of 5
718 Ratings

About

Black Girl Burnout is a podcast about burnout, ambition, care, and what it actually takes to build a life that feels good to live—not just impressive from the outside.  Hosted by Kelley Bonner, the show explores how burnout takes hold, why ambition doesn’t need to be abandoned but redesigned, and how joy, rest, and gentleness can coexist with meaningful work and forward movement. Through reflection, practical insight, and carefully chosen conversations, Black Girl Burnout offers both grounding and direction, helping listeners feel seen and take action toward lives that are sustainable, intentional, and their own.

Information

  • Creator
    Kelley Bonner
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    479
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Black Girl Burnout
  • Show Website
    Black Girl Burnout

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