Dimming The Gaslight: Our Healing Journey From Narcissistic Abuse

Dimming The Gaslight
  • 4.6 (82)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Semiweekly

Welcome to Dimming The Gaslight! I'm Mac—a male survivor of Narcissistic Abuse. I’m documenting my real-time war divorcing a female narcissist, fighting for my kids, and surviving the U.S. family court system. I am joined by my best friend and co-host, Phil. As the former host of the "Surviving The Covert Narcissist" podcast, Phil brings a veteran perspective and much-needed levity to the darkness. We break down the legal battles and the healing journey week by week. But this platform is for you, too. To share your story as a guest, email us -DimmingTheGaslight@gmail.com to be on the show!

  1. 4d ago

    Episode 195: She Built an App That Catches Narcissists Lying (Interview with @disputebuddy

    After years of therapy before she even had a word for what happened to her, Jenny Rudd built an AI that could see it plainly — and it started with her own decade-plus marriage. This week, Mac and Phil sit down with Jenny Rudd, founder of Dispute Buddy — a platform that scans years of text messages with an abusive ex and surfaces the patterns of coercive control survivors can't always name themselves. 🔍 What happened when Jenny finally ran her own texts through her own app, and it handed back a decade-plus documented pattern of coercive control she'd normalized for years ⚖️ How the system finds tactics like being accused of the exact thing your abuser is doing, disparaging family to isolate you, and disguising financial abuse as "consequences" 📵 Why responding to messages out of order isn't disorganization — it's a deliberate way to control the narrative and keep you confused 🧠 Jenny's take on why 25% of Dispute Buddy users are men, and what that number reveals about who's actually suffering coercive control and staying silent ♀️ Her view on feminism as fundamentally about emotional equality for men — and why she believes that's the missing piece for real economic equality for women 👨‍👩‍👧 How the app approaches parental alienation, and why she believes both sides of that debate are carrying real, valid pain 🏛️ Why she built Dispute Buddy to close the access-to-justice gap for people without the money, time, or safety to document their own abuse This one is validating, sharp, and unexpectedly funny — proof that the patterns you couldn't explain to anyone finally have a name, and now, receipts. ⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events — except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we're talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you're the narcissist. Learn more about Dispute Buddy: disputebuddy.co Follow Jenny: @[handle] Follow us: @dimming_the_gaslight Join us on Patreon | Discord | DTG Merch Store | dimmingthegaslight.com

  2. Aug 30

    Episode 194: Taelor Part 2: Reclaiming Her Identity From The Parent Who Tried To Become Her

    Last week, Taelor told us her story for the first time. It was heavy. It was raw. And we promised we wouldn't leave it there. She's back. This week isn't about what happened to her. It's about everything she built after. 🪞 The moment she realized her own body had been keeping score for years, and finally let it stop📓 Reading her abuser's old Facebook posts and recognizing every classic narcissist tactic in real time👊 The exact moment her abuser stopped being a bully, the second she started fighting back💉 A senior year "diet" involving an unregulated hormone injection and 500 calories a day, orchestrated by her own mother🧠 A viral question she asked the internet that stopped people cold: is the "good" parent in an abusive home actually safe?🔥 What it actually took, over a decade of inner work, to go from surviving to leading a community of other survivors This is the episode about what comes after the worst chapter. Not closure. Not a bow on top. Just Taelor, fully herself, telling the rest of the story on her own terms. ⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events — except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we're talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you're the narcissist. Follow Dr. Taelor: @sos.with.doctor.taelor (Instagram/TikTok) | Podcast: Overcoming: The Podcast Follow us: @dimming_the_gaslightJoin us on Patreon | Discord | DTG Merch Store | dimmingthegaslight.com

  3. Aug 23

    EPISODE 193: The Parent's Bizarre Obsession: From Abuse to Transitioning & Becoming Like Their Daughter | Dr. Taelor's Story

    Five years ago, Mac was couch-surfing, sleeping in his car, and scrolling Instagram from his dad's basement — and one page stopped him cold: a woman healing out loud from complex trauma. That woman is here today. We sit down with Dr. Taelor — Doctor of Occupational Therapy, trauma advocate, and founder of Survivors Overcoming Silence (SOS) — for a story she has never told publicly before. This is complex trauma at its most complex: a childhood built on walking on eggshells, a "golden child" competition with a parent who saw her as competition, a national news scandal, false restraining orders, death threats, a grandmother who called her a devil child, a faked cancer diagnosis, and a parent's transition that Taelor says was less about identity and more about becoming her. We go deep on gaslighting, "destiny swapping," psychological conditioning, and what it actually takes to reclaim your identity after someone spent a lifetime trying to erase it. Fair warning: there's a voicemail in this one that will haunt you. This one's heavy, it's raw, and it's only 10% of the iceberg — so buckle up, because we're already bringing her back for Part 2. ⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events — except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we're talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you're the narcissist. Follow Dr. Taelor: @sos.with.doctor.taelor (Instagram/TikTok) | Podcast: Overcoming: The Podcast Follow us: @dimming_the_gaslightJoin us on Patreon | Discord | DTG Merch Store | dimmingthegaslight.com

  4. Aug 16

    Episode 192: Christina Returns: Her Parents Called The Podcast Lies — So She Came Back To Set The Record Straight

    Back in episodes 144 and 145, Christina told us about her toxic ex, her toxic childhood, and a four-wheeler ride that never should've happened while pregnant. This time she's back for a very different reason. Her parents found the podcast. They didn't love what they heard. And their solution wasn't a conversation — it was a demand: take it down, or else. So Christina came back to "continue lying." Allegedly. 🛏️ Being forced to sleep in her mom's bed until she was 15 — and punished for wanting her own 😶 A childhood abuse disclosure met with "what did you do for him to do that to you?" 👗 A mother who dressed her provocatively, then called her "nasty" for being looked at 📞 Fake party invites used to guilt her back into the house every single holiday 🏥 A 14-year-old daughter and grandmother teaming up behind closed doors 🚨 Six DSS calls in four years — every single one unfounded 🤡 Parents insisting SHE'S the liar for finally telling her own story out loud By the end, Christina isn't spinning anything. She's not apologizing. She's just done staying quiet — and everyone around her can finally see exactly who's been lying the whole time. This one's the where-are-they-now everybody needed — chaotic, dark, and honestly one of the funniest episodes we've recorded. JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon! For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠ ⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

  5. Aug 9

    Episode 191: JP Returns: The Divorce Is Final — But the War Was Just Getting Started PART II

    Last time, JP left us on a cliffhanger: her ex reported their own 18-year-old daughter to a federal watchdog agency, claiming she committed fraud on her FAFSA — all to keep his daughter out of a four-year college and off his child support bill. This week, the investigation reaches a verdict. But getting there means JP pulling an all-nighter in a hotel room, uploading three years of receipts down to the last 50 cents, while her daughter sleeps beside her on what's supposed to be a graduation celebration trip. 📋 A federal fraud claim filed against his own teenage daughter 🚗 A $7,000 car he claims costs $1,000 a month in "maintenance" 📧 Subpoenaed emails showing him getting cozy with college staff behind the scenes 🖼️ His new wife quietly removing their daughter's photo from the family mantle 📝 A handwritten list of reasons their daughter wanted to leave — one she made JP promise never to bring to court 💵 A courtroom standoff between a $700 "nuisance" offer and a six-figure settlement 🦋 A butterfly, a chrysalis, and the first time in years JP feels like she's actually landed on her feet This is the finale of JP's four-part journey — and the moment she stops asking to be believed, and starts being believed. JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon! For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠ ⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

  6. Aug 2

    Episode 190: JP Returns: The Divorce Is Final — But the War Was Just Getting Started PART I

    Back in episode 154/155, JP told us about her marriage to a man she now simply calls "exhole." We left that story mid-sentence — she was still deep in the trenches of her divorce, and we promised to bring her back once it was over. It's over now. But "over" doesn't mean what you'd think. What follows is a year-long descent into a family court system that JP says is built to protect abusers, not survivors — and a masterclass in exactly how far a narcissist will go to win. ⚖️ A biased judge who tells the victim to pay HER abuser📧 A three-page email calling her "delusional" — with an insult hidden in the password💍 A secret joint tax filing designed to dodge financial disclosure💰 A $19,000 "incentive" that was really a manipulation tactic🏦 Bankruptcy, maxed-out credit cards, and a legal fight funded by her late grandmother's inheritance🎓 Her ex reporting their own 18-year-old daughter to the federal government for "fraud" — over a college financial aid form🏡 A breakdown in the backyard that becomes the turning point of her entire fight And just when she'd given up completely, salvation shows up in the most unexpected place: a jacuzzi at a cancer survivors' retreat. This is the episode about what happens after the divorce is "final" — when the paperwork ends but the manipulation doesn't. JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon! For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠ ⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

  7. Jun 14

    Episode 189: "I Moved to France With My Prince Charming... Then I Learned Who He Really Was" Part II (Interview with Wendy @rebelle_2929 on IG)

    Last week, Wendy shared the story of her marriage to a man she wouldn't fully recognize as a narcissist until years after the divorce. This week? Everything explodes. A Facebook message arrives from one of his mistresses. At first, Wendy thinks it's a scam. Then the woman starts sharing details that only someone on the inside could know. What follows is a phone call that completely shatters reality. 💔 A secret live-in girlfriend. 💍 A ring purchased for another woman. 🤰 A hidden pregnancy. 📱 A second phone. 🎭 Years of lies told to multiple women at the same time. And somehow... that's only the beginning. As Wendy compares notes with the woman she once blamed for the affair, she realizes something chilling: Neither of them actually knew who this man was. Part 2 is one of the most jaw-dropping episodes we've ever released.

  8. Jun 7

    Episode 188: "I Moved to France With My Prince Charming... Then I Learned Who He Really Was" Part I (Interview with Wendy @rebelle_2929 on IG)

    We have an INCREDIBLE episode for you today. Wendy Cooper joins us to tell a story that starts like a fairy tale—and slowly turns into something she couldn't fully understand until years later. A successful attorney, former competitive skier, world traveler, and adventurer, Wendy thought she had found her Prince Charming. The chemistry was intense. The connection felt undeniable. The future seemed limitless. Then the mask started slipping. 🎿 The Fairytale Beginning: What started with instant chemistry, bizarre coincidences, and a whirlwind romance quickly felt like the perfect match. Looking back now, Wendy can see the performance for what it was—but at the time, it felt completely real. 🚩 The First Red Flag That Changed Everything: After months of being the perfect partner, one phone call revealed a completely different person. Cold. Dismissive. Cruel. The kind of moment that leaves you wondering, "Who was THAT?" 🇫🇷 The Dream Life in France: Wendy shares how she left behind the traditional path to build an extraordinary life overseas—raising a family, practicing law, and chasing adventure around the world. From the outside, it looked incredible. 🎭 The Narcissist Who Fooled Everyone: Therapists. Friends. Family. Even Wendy herself. We get into how some narcissists don't dominate with rage—they dominate by becoming the victim in every room they enter. 👶 When the Attention Shifted to the Kids: As their family grew, the cracks became impossible to ignore. What should have been some of life's happiest moments became some of the loneliest. 🧠 "I Didn't Even Know It Was Narcissism": One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is hearing Wendy explain that she didn't leave because she knew what she was dealing with. In fact, she didn't even start researching narcissism until long after the separation. 📚 The Moment Everything Finally Made Sense: Like so many survivors, Wendy began looking back at years of confusing memories and realizing they weren't random incidents—they were part of a pattern. 💔 The Marriage That Never Felt Right: This episode explores something many survivors struggle to explain: what happens when a relationship isn't obviously catastrophic, but somehow leaves you feeling exhausted, confused, and emotionally alone for years. This episode is insightful, validating, heartbreaking, and packed with those moments where you'll find yourself saying, "Wait... my ex did that too." JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon! For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠ ⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

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Welcome to Dimming The Gaslight! I'm Mac—a male survivor of Narcissistic Abuse. I’m documenting my real-time war divorcing a female narcissist, fighting for my kids, and surviving the U.S. family court system. I am joined by my best friend and co-host, Phil. As the former host of the "Surviving The Covert Narcissist" podcast, Phil brings a veteran perspective and much-needed levity to the darkness. We break down the legal battles and the healing journey week by week. But this platform is for you, too. To share your story as a guest, email us -DimmingTheGaslight@gmail.com to be on the show!

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