In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW, sits down with Sheila Lowe, a certified forensic handwriting examiner with a Master of Science in Psychology and the author of nonfiction, forensic mystery, paranormal suspense, and memoir. Her book Growing from the Ashes chronicles the spiritual journey that followed the murder of her daughter, Jennifer, in 2000. Sheila begins with her childhood in England and her upbringing in the Jehovah’s Witness faith, a religious environment she now describes as a cult. She later married a congregation elder who was admired and trusted in public but abusive at home. Sheila recalls the moment her three-year-old daughter watched him speak from the platform and quietly asked, “Mommy, how come he’s not like that at home?” When Sheila sought help after he choked her and left a mark on her neck, another elder dismissed the violence rather than protecting her. Leaving the marriage also meant losing the community that had shaped nearly every part of her life. Sheila was expelled from the religion and cut off from the support system she had been taught to depend upon. She describes the grief, isolation, and suicidal thoughts that followed, as well as the moment she realized that although other people could take away her marriage, community, and former identity, they could not take away her mind. Jessica and Sheila trace the roots of Sheila’s Traitor Within to childhood. At fourteen, after Sheila’s father left, her mother told her that she wanted to throw herself under a train. Sheila assumed responsibility for keeping her mother alive and remained in the religion partly because she feared what leaving might do to her. That parentified role followed her into adulthood through people-pleasing, rescuing, staying too long in damaging relationships, and feeling responsible for everyone else’s survival. Jessica explains how a strategy that once helped a child maintain safety can become a misguided protective part in adulthood. Rather than condemning that part, she encourages Sheila to understand what it was trying to accomplish and meet it with compassion. Sheila offers one of the episode’s most meaningful reflections: if she can extend grace to her mother for doing the best she was capable of, she must learn to offer herself that same grace. The conversation then turns to the murder of Sheila’s daughter, Jennifer, by her partner. Sheila speaks openly about the phone call that changed her life, the complicated grief that followed, and the ways she had already been grieving for her daughter during years of instability and painful choices. She also discusses the handwriting sample she examined before the tragedy and the warning signs she believed she saw in it, including a note she made about the potential for explosive behavior. After Jennifer’s death, Sheila began noticing events she interpreted as signs of her daughter’s continued presence: unexplained phone calls filled with static, lights turning on in her car, electronics behaving unusually, and a car alarm sounding as the funeral procession reached the burial site. These experiences helped transform the rigid beliefs of her childhood into a personal spiritual understanding that Sheila describes as “life after earth.” Sheila also shares why it took more than twenty years to write Growing from the Ashes. She knew the title almost immediately after Jennifer’s death, but she was not yet ready to tell the story. Decades later, after repeated encouragement to write something autobiographical, Sheila began the manuscript on February 1 and wrote “The End” on February 27. The result is a memoir about religious control, domestic abuse, motherhood, unbearable loss, forgiveness, spirituality, and the meaning Sheila found on the other side of grief. The power of storytelling is central to this episode. Sheila’s memoir gives readers a way to witness her experiences and recognize parts of their own lives through hers. That same belief in the power of story is at the heart of Jessica’s debut novel, Traitor Within. Through Casandra, the novel explores how conditional belonging, fear of abandonment, manipulation, and old protective patterns can lead a woman to slowly erase herself in the name of love. Traitor Within is now available for preorder and will be released September 22. As a thank-you, everyone who preorders will receive a complimentary year of guided Your Traitor Within journaling prompts. Preorder Jessica’s novel: https://www.jessicaannepressler.com/the-books About Sheila Lowe Sheila Lowe is a certified forensic handwriting examiner with a Master of Science in Psychology. She is the author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Handwriting Analysis, Handwriting of the Famous and Infamous, an award-winning forensic handwriting mystery series, the Beyond the Veil paranormal suspense series, and the memoir Growing from the Ashes. Her work brings together psychology, handwriting analysis, mystery, spirituality, and her own lived experience of grief and transformation. Connect With Sheila Lowe Books and author information: https://www.sheilalowebooks.com Forensic handwriting services and information: https://www.sheilalowe.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SheilaLoweBooks Listen to Your Traitor Within: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaAnnePressler Content note: This episode includes discussions of religious trauma, domestic violence, suicidal ideation, addiction, murder-suicide, and the death of a child. Please listen with care. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are in the United States and experiencing a mental health crisis or suicidal thoughts, call or text 988. Support the show
