Unstuck

2 Together
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Ever said yes when every part of you meant no? Had the same argument for the fourth time this month and thought, how on earth are we here again? That's what we talk about on Unstuck. We're Dr Tanya Petersen and Dr Lisa Corbett, two psychologists who met at 18, lived next door to each other in halls, and have been in each other's lives ever since. Twenty-odd years and two doctorates later we're still talking late into the night. There's just a microphone now. Each week we take one of the things that quietly wears people down — going grey, feeling invisible in midlife, friendships that have run out of road, saying yes when you mean no — and unpick the psychology underneath it. Our lens is schema therapy: the idea that we all build emotional blueprints early in life, then spend decades living by them without ever noticing. Expect real conversation rather than clinical distance. We disagree with each other. We share things we probably shouldn't. And somewhere in every episode there's something you can actually take away and use. Think of it as a glimpse behind the therapy door, without the waiting list or the fee. Dr Tanya Petersen, DClinPsy, is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and ISST Advanced Accredited Schema Therapist and Supervisor. Dr Lisa Corbett, PsychD, is a Counselling Psychologist. Both are HCPC registered. Unstuck is the podcast from 2 Together. New episodes weekly.

Episodes

  1. 6d ago

    Episode 10 — Burnout: When Is Enough, Enough?

    Being ambitious isn't the problem. Being conscientious isn't either. The problem starts when the standard stops being one you chose and becomes one you owe. This is the last episode of our four-part burnout series, and we're looking at the unrelenting standards lens: I can do better than that. I should be further ahead by now. I'll relax when it's finished. That last one is the giveaway, because it never is finished. Clear the standard and it moves. We talk about why this lens drives burnout from both ends at once — raising the demands because nothing is allowed to be adequate, while removing the resources, because rest, pleasure and limits are the first things to go. And we get to the structural problem underneath it: there's no reliable route from achievement to recovery. Finishing something doesn't release you, it just activates the next demand. Then what coping looks like here. Submitting and working past your capacity, with procrastination included, because if it can't be done properly it's safer not to start. Opting out and stepping away from the arena altogether. And storming in, which is the one people miss, because tightening control and doubling down after a mistake looks like competence from the outside. You can burn out while appearing to be entirely on top of things. We also get into something worth knowing about the model: lenses overlap, and one can hand over to another in seconds. Finally, the Lifeguard — which is not asking you to lower every standard and stop caring — and RESET applied to this lens. One question to take away: if nobody were assessing you, what would actually be good enough? Next time: midlife dating. And we want your stories for it — get in touch through the website or send us a DM or voice note on Instagram.

    Episode 10 — Burnout: When Is Enough, Enough?

  2. Oct 13

    Episode 9 — The Burnout Loop: Am I The Problem

    There's a moment when being overwhelmed stops feeling like too much to carry and starts feeling like proof there's something wrong with you. This is the third episode of our burnout series, and we're looking at the defectiveness and shame lens: not "I did something wrong" but "there is something wrong with me." We talk about why burnout activates it so powerfully. When you're depleted you forget things, snap, lose concentration — and through this lens every one of those becomes evidence rather than information. We get into the uneven comparison at the heart of it, where you weigh your own insides against everyone else's outsides. Then the burnout loop. Capacity drops, the lens kicks in, shame and fear of exposure follow, and you cope by hiding, criticising yourself or working harder. So you don't ask for rest or help, you get more depleted, and the lens is proved right. It can follow you into recovery too. Three steps to try: catch the verdict, check the load, let someone in. Next: unrelenting standards.

    Episode 9 — The Burnout Loop: Am I The Problem

  3. Oct 7

    Episode 8 — Burnout: The “I’ll Do It” Trap

    Some of us are always the one who says "I'll do it." This is the second episode of our burnout series, and we're looking at the self-sacrifice lens: the belief that other people's needs come before yours. We talk about where it starts, whether that's being the responsible child, the good and undemanding child, or watching a parent put herself last for years. Then we follow it into adulthood. What happens when your core emotional needs aren't met at work or at home, the lens switches on, and you cope by giving in, zoning out, or finally losing your temper with everybody. None of the three work. All of them make the lens stronger. We also draw a line between the guilt that's yours to work on and a genuinely toxic system that needs addressing properly. Three things to try: pause before you agree, tolerate the guilt without rushing to fix it, and run a resentment audit. Next: the defectiveness lens.

    Episode 8 — Burnout: The “I’ll Do It” Trap

  4. Sep 29

    Episode 7 — Burnout: Are We Burnt Out, or Are We Being Told We Are?

    Burnout is everywhere, which is part of the problem. Is it a real psychological experience, or have we started using the word for every kind of exhaustion? This week we look at what the research actually says, and start a miniseries on burnout. In this episode: The World Health Organisation definition, and why burnout is classed as an occupational phenomenon rather than a medical condition The argument that burnout doesn't exist, and why it's part fair and part invalidating Reward, purpose and achievement, and whether hard work alone burns anyone out Why "resilience training" often locates a systemic problem inside the individual Christina Maslach's six areas of working life: workload, control, reward, community, fairness and values The job demands-resources model, and the simplest version of it: burnout becomes more likely when demands keep outrunning resources The five core emotional needs, and what each one looks like in a workplace rather than a childhood How lenses develop, how they get activated at work, and where SOS comes in Why burnout isn't only about work, and what we mean by life burnout An important note: Maslach and the job demands-resources researchers are not writing about schema therapy. Placing their findings alongside the core emotional needs is our own formulation, not a claim that the models are the same. Over the next three episodes, we're taking one lens each: self-sacrifice, defectiveness and shame, and unrelenting standards.

    Episode 7 — Burnout: Are We Burnt Out, or Are We Being Told We Are?

  5. Sep 22

    Episode 6 — I'm Happy For You. So Why Am I Jealous?

    Storming in is the last of our SOS coping styles, and the hardest to spot in yourself. Sometimes it looks like control: the friend who organises everything. Sometimes it looks like being needy, moody or hard to predict. And sometimes it's a perfectly pleasant conversation where you rubbish someone you secretly envy. We look at shame, envy and jealousy, why storming in feels powerful, what it costs, and how envy can stop being something to hide and start telling you what you want.

    Episode 6 — I'm Happy For You. So Why Am I Jealous?

  6. Sep 15

    Episode 5 — The Friendship Fade Out

    Opting out is the O in SOS. Going quiet. Letting things drift. Cancelling. Or sitting right there at dinner with your head somewhere else entirely. In this episode we look at avoidance in friendships: what it protects you from, why the relief lasts about an hour, and what it quietly costs over years. We get into the two kinds of opting out, physical and emotional, and why the second one is far harder to spot in yourself.

    Episode 5 — The Friendship Fade Out

  7. Aug 23

    Episode 4 — The Good Friend

    Submitting is the S in SOS. People-pleasing. Saying yes when you mean no. Quietly putting yourself last and calling it being a good friend. We get specific about what that looks like: moulding yourself into the funny one at school because it was reliably likeable, and pulling over to apologise by text while lost in a car with the petrol light on. Then we look at why we do it — the needs for connection, belonging and acceptance sitting underneath — and why it never quite delivers the closeness it's reaching for. The question we land on: can you be a good enough friend without losing yourself in it?

    Episode 4 — The Good Friend

  8. Aug 14

    Episode 3 — Midlife Friendships

    Friendships change in your forties and nobody warns you. We start with a fallout of our own — the time one of us abruptly announced she was moving to Gibraltar because she was lonely — and use it to look at what happens when circles shrink, time runs out and priorities quietly shift. We talk quality versus quantity, the childhood experiences that shape how comfortable you are on your own, and the coping styles that surface when a friendship wobbles: storming in and taking charge, or submitting and tolerating far less than you deserve. And the question underneath all of it: what is it that keeps loneliness in place?

    Episode 3 — Midlife Friendships

  9. Aug 13

    Episode 2 — The Invisible Woman

    Do women become invisible in midlife? We disagree on this one, fairly openly. One of us reckons older women are more visible now than they have ever been. The other, having left a senior NHS role to start again from scratch, feels distinctly less so. Somewhere between those two positions we get into middle-agism, perimenopause, and the shift from being valued for how you look to finding meaning in what you contribute. We introduce our SOS coping model — submit, opt out, storm in — and what it looks like to respond as a Lifeguard instead. Also: celebrity examples, marketing pressure, and how money changes the whole experience.

    Episode 2 — The Invisible Woman

  10. Jul 2

    Episode 1 — Grey Matters

    In our very first episode, we introduce ourselves, explain a little bit about what schema therapy actually is, and discuss why we decided to turn our years of friendship and professional partnership into this podcast.

    Episode 1 — Grey Matters

  11. Jun 29

    Episode 0 — Introduction

    In our very first episode, we introduce ourselves, explain a little bit about what schema therapy actually is, and discuss why we decided to turn our years of friendship and professional partnership into this podcast.

    Episode 0 — Introduction
  • 11 Episodes

About

Ever said yes when every part of you meant no? Had the same argument for the fourth time this month and thought, how on earth are we here again? That's what we talk about on Unstuck. We're Dr Tanya Petersen and Dr Lisa Corbett, two psychologists who met at 18, lived next door to each other in halls, and have been in each other's lives ever since. Twenty-odd years and two doctorates later we're still talking late into the night. There's just a microphone now. Each week we take one of the things that quietly wears people down — going grey, feeling invisible in midlife, friendships that have run out of road, saying yes when you mean no — and unpick the psychology underneath it. Our lens is schema therapy: the idea that we all build emotional blueprints early in life, then spend decades living by them without ever noticing. Expect real conversation rather than clinical distance. We disagree with each other. We share things we probably shouldn't. And somewhere in every episode there's something you can actually take away and use. Think of it as a glimpse behind the therapy door, without the waiting list or the fee. Dr Tanya Petersen, DClinPsy, is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and ISST Advanced Accredited Schema Therapist and Supervisor. Dr Lisa Corbett, PsychD, is a Counselling Psychologist. Both are HCPC registered. Unstuck is the podcast from 2 Together. New episodes weekly.

Information

  • Creator
    2 Together
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    11
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2 Together
  • Show Website
    Unstuck

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