ShameOver - The Drink Less Podcast

Erica Mallery
  • 5.0 (3)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
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ShameOver: The Drink Less Podcast helps women build a healthier relationship with alcohol—without quitting completely or living in shame. Hosted by Erica Mallery, alcohol mindset coach and former daily wine drinker (and weekend binge drinker), this podcast explores mindful drinking, harm reduction, nervous system regulation, and emotional wellness for women who want to drink less, feel better, and laugh more! If you’re tired of all-or-nothing sobriety messaging, sick of the shame spiral around drinking, or curious about Dry January alternatives, this podcast offers a compassionate, empowering approach to change. Each episode blends real talk, science-backed insights, and practical tools to help you understand why you drink, how to reduce overdrinking, and how to reconnect with yourself—without labels, rock bottoms, or giving up your social life. Topics include mindful drinking, moderation, rebound drinking, emotional regulation, identity, self-trust, and breaking free from the wine-o’clock detox-to-retox cycle. Lose the hangover, not the booze—and take your power back.

  1. 2D AGO

    Why You Get Irrational When You Drink (And What It’s Actually About)

    Ever felt like you turn into a version of yourself you don’t even recognize after a few drinks? Maybe more reactive… more emotional… more combative… or just not you anymore? You’re not alone — and you’re not broken. In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening when alcohol starts to shift your personality… and why it’s not random. Because here’s the truth: Alcohol isn’t creating the problem — it’s exposing what hasn’t been processed. We dive into: Why your personality can change after “just a few”What’s really happening in your brain when your “off switch” disappearsThe hidden buildup of unprocessed emotions (and where they go)Why so many women feel pressure to “keep it together” — and how that backfiresThe connection between overgiving, depletion, and drinkingHow alcohol becomes a form of self-soothing (but not real regulation)The powerful shift from “what’s wrong with me?” → “what do I actually need?” And one of the most important takeaways: You’re not overreacting… you’re under-expressing. This episode is your invitation to get curious about what’s underneath your drinking — without shame, judgment, or extremes. 🚀 READY TO ACTUALLY CHANGE YOUR DRINKING?This is exactly why I created my Drinking Reset — to help you get back to the basics, understand your patterns, and uncover what’s really driving your habits. Not a sobriety program. Not restriction. Just real awareness, real tools, and real change. 👉 Join the reset here: https://stan.store/ShameOver/p/drink-less-reset-with-erica ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    23 min

  2. APR 9

    When You’re Not Okay (And Why Numbing Makes It Worse)

    If you’ve been feeling off lately… disconnected, unmotivated, or just not like yourself—this episode is for you. In this raw and unfiltered conversation, I’m sharing what’s been going on behind the scenes, including the recent loss in my family, navigating grief, and what happens when you can’t access your emotions the way you expect to. I am talking about: Why emotions come in waves (and sometimes hit out of nowhere)The surprising ways your body holds onto stress, grief, and unprocessed feelingsWhat happens when you use alcohol to cope (and why it actually prolongs the pain)How to start feeling your emotions instead of avoiding themSimple ways to regulate your nervous system and reconnect with yourself This is your reminder that: You don’t have to be “strong” for everyone else. You don’t have to numb your way through hard seasons. And you are allowed to not be okay. Because drinking less isn’t about willpower… it’s about healing what’s underneath. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you’re ready to start changing your relationship with alcohol in a way that actually feels good, you know where to find me. Don't forget to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! Work With MeIf you’re ready to: Drink less without giving it up entirelyBreak the all-or-nothing cycleRegulate your nervous systemBuild confidence without alcoholCome join me inside ShameOver. Go to shameover.me to get started today. ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    15 min

  3. MAR 17

    Regulating Your Nervous System Without Alcohol

    In the final part of my conversation with Jessica Tanir, we dive into something that does not get talked about enough when it comes to drinking less: nervous system regulation. So many women think they have a drinking problem, when really alcohol has become a coping tool — a fast way to de-stress, disconnect, numb out, or finally exhale. In this episode, Jessica and I talk about what it means to actually regulate instead of numb, and why this is such an important part of healing your relationship with alcohol. We also get into social media and comparison, the power of in-person connection, Jessica’s experience with plant medicine and retreats in Peru, and the practical strategies that helped her stay alcohol-free — including non-alcoholic alternatives, adaptogens, and bartender-approved tips for drinking less in social settings. This episode is such a good one for anyone who wants to feel better, drink less, and build a life that doesn’t constantly leave them desperate to escape it. In this episode, we cover:Why so many women drink to regulate stressAlcohol and the nervous systemWhy numbing emotions keeps you stuckSocial media, comparison, and overstimulationThe value of in-person events and real connectionJessica’s experience with plant medicine in PeruIntention setting and emotional healingBartender-approved tips for drinking lessNon-alcoholic drinks, adaptogens, and mocktail alternativesWhy finding supportive alcohol-free options matters Connect with Jessica TanirThe Reconnection Retreat - https://www.jessicatanir.com/retreat Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jessicatanir?igsh=MTlvYW00c3VqZ2RxMQ== Jessica is an Integration Guide, yoga and sound healing facilitator, and psychedelic mentor. She supports individuals in integrating habits, rituals, and mindset shifts that cultivate a deeper connection to self and more intentional living. Work With MeIf you’re ready to: Drink less without giving it up entirelyBreak the all-or-nothing cycleRegulate your nervous systemBuild confidence without alcoholCome join me inside ShameOver. Go to shameover.me to get started today. Don't forget to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    23 min

  4. MAR 13

    Why Your Drinking Habits Aren’t the Problem — Your Mindset Might Be (Part 2 of 3)

    In part two of my conversation with Jessica Tanir, we go beyond alcohol itself and into the deeper mindset patterns that often drive our habits. We talk about what happened after Jessica first took a break from drinking, why she eventually chose to continue living alcohol-free, and how easy it is for labels like “sober,” “drinker,” or even “problem drinker” to become part of someone’s identity. This episode is a powerful reminder that your drinking habits are rarely just about alcohol. They’re often connected to self-worth, people pleasing, negative self-talk, pressure, perfectionism, and the way you see yourself. Jessica and I also talk about why so many women are disconnected from themselves, how productivity culture keeps us stuck in cycles of stress and overconsumption, and why real change starts with awareness and self-respect — not shame. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of overthinking, starting over, beating yourself up, or feeling like you “failed,” this episode is for you. In this episode, we cover:What happened after Jessica’s first sober experimentWhy labeling yourself can backfireThe problem with making sobriety or drinking your identityWhy mindset matters more than willpowerThe connection between alcohol and self-worthPeople pleasing, perfectionism, and negative self-talkWhy so many women struggle to truly connect with themselvesProductivity culture and the pressure to always be doing more Work With MeIf you’re ready to: Drink less without giving it up entirelyBreak the all-or-nothing cycleRegulate your nervous systemBuild confidence without alcoholCome join me inside ShameOver. Go to shameover.me to get started today. Work With JessicaThe Reconnection Retreat - https://www.jessicatanir.com/retreatInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/jessicatanir?igsh=MTlvYW00c3VqZ2RxMQ== Jessica is an Integration Guide, yoga and sound healing facilitator, and psychedelic mentor. She supports individuals in integrating habits, rituals, and mindset shifts that cultivate a deeper connection to self and more intentional living. ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    22 min

  5. MAR 10

    From Bartending to Sobriety: Inside the Drinking Culture of Hospitality

    What happens when someone who spent years behind the bar starts questioning alcohol for herself? In this episode of the ShameOver: Drink Less Podcast, I sit down with Jessica Tanir, an integration guide, health coach, and former bartender, to talk about the intense drinking culture inside the hospitality industry and how it shaped her relationship with alcohol. Jessica shares what it was like working in high-profile restaurants and nightlife spaces in New York City and Miami, where drinking after shifts, blacking out, and overindulging were completely normalized. She opens up about the “double life” she was living—building a wellness-focused life on one hand while still surrounded by alcohol culture on the other. We also talk about the moment that made her realize something had to change, how she started with a short break from alcohol, and why taking things in small steps can be so much more effective than going all-in with pressure and perfection. If you’ve ever wondered whether your drinking habits have just been normalized by your environment, this conversation is going to hit. In this episode, we cover:Jessica’s background as a bartender in NYC and MiamiThe reality of drinking culture in hospitality and nightlifeWhy blackout drinking can start to feel “normal”The connection between environment and overdrinkingHer wake-up call moment with alcoholWhy a short break can be more powerful than an all-or-nothing mindsetHow sober curiosity often starts quietly Learn more about Jessica Tanir:The Reconnection Retreat - https://www.jessicatanir.com/retreat Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jessicatanir?igsh=MTlvYW00c3VqZ2RxMQ== Work With MeIf you’re ready to: Drink less without giving it up entirelyBreak the all-or-nothing cycleRegulate your nervous systemBuild confidence without alcoholCome join me inside ShameOver. Go to shameover.me to get started today. ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    19 min

  6. FEB 25

    Why You Drink (or Shop, Scroll, Snack): Nervous System Regulation + Confidence With Strong By Sarah

    In Part 2 of my conversation with Sarah from Strong By Sarah, we move beyond metabolism and into something deeper: Why so many women use alcohol, food, shopping, scrolling, or over-exercising to regulate their nervous systems. If you’ve ever: Poured a drink to calm downUsed wine to feel more confident in social situationsFound yourself replacing alcohol with snacking or online shoppingStruggled with anxiety after drinkingFelt social pressure around alcohol This episode is for you. We talk about: Nervous system regulation for womenWhy alcohol worsens anxiety and depressionHow cortisol and stress impact cravingsSocial pressure and drinking cultureConfidence without liquid courageReplacing habits without swapping one vice for anotherBoundaries and changing your circleAlcohol and identityWhy “just have one” isn’t always simplePractical coping strategies that actually work Sarah shares her personal journey of walking away from alcohol, how she stopped romanticizing drinking, and what helped her build real confidence without needing a cocktail in her hand. We also talk about: Cigarettes, appetite control, and food restriction patternsChronic stress and coping mechanismsBuilding regulation skills as an adult If you’re trying to drink less without quitting completely — or you’re curious about your relationship with alcohol — this episode will help you understand the psychology and physiology behind it. You don’t need more willpower. You need awareness, regulation tools, and support. Work With MeIf you’re ready to: Drink less without giving it up entirelyBreak the all-or-nothing cycleRegulate your nervous systemBuild confidence without alcoholCome join me inside ShameOver. Go to shameover.me to get started today. Don't forget to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode! About SarahSarah is a women’s health coach and doctoral candidate in sports nutrition and exercise science. She helps women eat more, lift heavier, regulate hormones, and build strong, sustainable bodies without extreme dieting. Follow her at: Instagram: @StrongBySarah Substack, TikTok + YouTube: Strong By Sarah ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    25 min

  7. FEB 23

    Eat More, Lift Heavier: Why Chronic Dieting Is Sabotaging Women

    If you’ve been working out consistently, eating “pretty healthy,” and still not seeing results — this episode is going to connect some major dots. In Part 1 of this conversation, I’m joined by women’s health coach and doctoral candidate in sports nutrition and exercise science, Sarah of Strong By Sarah, and we’re breaking down why so many women are stuck in a cycle of: Chronic dietingOver-exercisingLow calorie intakeHormone disruptionHigh cortisolAnd stalled fat loss We talk about reverse dieting for women, why eating more can actually improve metabolism, and how lifting heavier (instead of living in bootcamp cardio) changes your body composition and long-term health. We also dive into: What leptin is and how chronic dieting disrupts hunger and satietyWhy under-fueling leads to binge-restrict cyclesThe real reason your workouts might not be building muscleCortisol and belly fat in women over 35Hormone testing, bloodwork, and advocating for yourselfWhy muscle is critical for longevity and perimenopause If you’re a midlife woman in your 30s, 40s, or 50s who feels like your body isn’t responding the way it used to — this episode will help you understand why. This conversation is especially important for women navigating: PCOSPerimenopauseHormone imbalanceMetabolism changesWeight loss resistance And in Part 2, we go even deeper into nervous system regulation, alcohol, confidence, and why so many women use drinking as a coping tool. Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it. About SarahSarah is a women’s health coach and doctoral candidate in sports nutrition and exercise science. She helps women eat more, lift heavier, regulate hormones, and build strong, sustainable bodies without extreme dieting. Follow her at: Instagram: @StrongBySarah Substack, TikTok + YouTube: Strong By Sarah To connect with Erica + ShameOver go to shameover.me to get started today. ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    25 min

  8. FEB 9

    Letting Go in Motherhood: Nervous System Healing, Identity Shifts & Building Your Village

    In part two of this powerful conversation on the ShameOver Podcast, I’m back with Shauna, the Mystic Herbal Doula, to explore what so many women struggle with after having kids — letting go. Letting go of control. Letting go of who you used to be. Letting go of unrealistic expectations, comparison, and the pressure to “get back” to yourself. In this episode, we shift beyond the physical side of postpartum and into the nervous system, emotional healing, and identity work that so often gets overlooked — yet impacts everything from your mood and energy to your habits, coping mechanisms, and relationships. We talk about: Why all-or-nothing thinking keeps women stuckHow to regulate your nervous system during overwhelming seasons of motherhoodSimple, accessible tools for emotional release (journaling, body scans, rituals, meditation)Why you don’t need to “find yourself again” — and what to focus on insteadThe subconscious beliefs driving control, perfectionism, and burnoutHow caffeine, blood sugar, and daily habits affect your nervous systemWhy community and connection are essential for mental healthHow to build a village as a mom — even when it feels awkward or uncomfortable This conversation is especially for deeply feeling, highly sensitive women who care deeply, give constantly, and often put themselves last. Healing doesn’t come from doing more or pushing harder — it comes from slowing down, releasing what no longer serves you, and allowing yourself to be supported. 👉 If you haven, you listened to Episode 1, start there for the foundation on postpartum recovery, hormones, nutrition, and the “bounce back” myth. Socials: Www.instagram.com/mystic.herbal.doula  https://www.tiktok.com/@mysticherbaldoula https://youtube.com/@sparkle_vibrations Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/6FeQKLgiEMk6dR70cPIBFh?si=wZSE1uPOQj6KZDQ-cm4UDg To connect with Erica + ShameOver go to shameover.me to get started today. ***Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects personal opinions and lived experience. It is not medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat any condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific situation before making changes to your drinking, medications, or treatment.***

    32 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

ShameOver: The Drink Less Podcast helps women build a healthier relationship with alcohol—without quitting completely or living in shame. Hosted by Erica Mallery, alcohol mindset coach and former daily wine drinker (and weekend binge drinker), this podcast explores mindful drinking, harm reduction, nervous system regulation, and emotional wellness for women who want to drink less, feel better, and laugh more! If you’re tired of all-or-nothing sobriety messaging, sick of the shame spiral around drinking, or curious about Dry January alternatives, this podcast offers a compassionate, empowering approach to change. Each episode blends real talk, science-backed insights, and practical tools to help you understand why you drink, how to reduce overdrinking, and how to reconnect with yourself—without labels, rock bottoms, or giving up your social life. Topics include mindful drinking, moderation, rebound drinking, emotional regulation, identity, self-trust, and breaking free from the wine-o’clock detox-to-retox cycle. Lose the hangover, not the booze—and take your power back.

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