Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast TruStory FM

Pete’s in the hot seat this week as Nikki walks through a listener question of the motivational variety. For reference, here it is:
“When we have a plan of quadrant two tasks, important but not urgent, it is impossible to focus on those at all if there are ANY quadrant one tasks... urgent and important... unresolved. What’s interesting is that you might think, sure ... do those. They’re urgent and important. But the problem is that maybe you’ve done your part on them. You’re waiting for an email response... you are time-blocked from doing anything about it because a store isn’t open... something like that. It’s unresolved, AND you can’t do anything about it, AND you can’t focus on anything else that is on your list that would move other projects forward as a result.”
There’s an emotional yo-yo at work here, and you can bet there is a healthy dose of limiting beliefs. But there is also a very real connection between this attachment and the ADHD brain. Nikki walks Pete through an exercise that aims to make this relationship a bit softer.
Links & Notes
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(00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
(01:39) - Support the Show: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
(03:05) - Sponsor: TextExpander
(06:51) - The Planning Motivation Game is Afoot


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On this week’s show, Pete and Nikki break down how to create and implement planning systems that work with the ADHD brain.
“There is not a perfect calendar, planner or task manager for ADHD,” notes Nikki. “What matters is that you build trust and consistency with your chosen tools.” 
They start by addressing common misconceptions about finding the “right” organizational system. As Nikki explains, no one tool determines success - only your willingness to use it consistently builds planning skills. She cautions against getting distracted searching for a flawless system. What matters is finding tools that fit your workflow and building habits around using them daily.
What causes so many to abandon their carefully chosen systems? They share the psychological traps that sabotage trust in planning tools, from perfectionism to learned helplessness. They discuss how forgetting to use the system consistently or failing to personalize it to your needs also hinders success. Tune in to gain insight into why your tools may be failing you.  
The key to results is forming a habit of using your system, not the system itself. They offer tips like starting small, scheduling planning time and allowing flexibility as you build consistency. Nikki emphasizes that mistakes are part of the process - you must persist through frustration to cement reliability. 
Create order amidst the chaos of ADHD through insights on building planning systems you can trust. Pete and Nikki guide you through myths, pitfalls, and practical strategies for long-term consistency. Discover how small steps create big change.
Links & Notes
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(00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
(01:27) - Support the show! Get Member-Only D&D Special through Patreon!
(04:05) - Planning Systems and Why They Fail
(05:13) - What are we counting on our planning systems to do?
(20:51) - Perfectionism
(31:47) - Routines
(34:53) - Beware the "Best Of" Recommendations


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In this week's episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright interview Dr. Tamara Rosier about motivation and ADHD. Dr. Rosier, author of "Your Brain's Not Broken," shares insights from her experiences as an ADHD coach and professor to uncover motivation strategies for those with ADHD.
As Dr. Rosier explains of those living with ADHD, "There is really no research explaining our success in the modern world." Her book aims to send a "love letter" to those struggling, affirming that "You're okay. And I know it feels hard for you, but you're still okay."
The hosts dive into the complicated relationship between ADHD and motivation. Dr. Rosier notes that while ADHD can make people appear self-centered as they struggle to survive, most "are incredibly sensitive" and "heart forward." Pete adds that ADHD allows people to "forget the important things"—like basic needs—while seeking self-actualization. Dr. Rosier agrees this makes success especially difficult, as "easy things are very difficult" for those with ADHD, yet they still accomplish much.
To build motivation, Dr. Rosier suggests first assessing your values—why something matters. She coaches Nikki to uncover beliefs like "I should enjoy cooking" that create pressure. Next, acknowledge the difficulty but willingness to do hard things. Tie actions to values, not beliefs that demotivate. Dr. Rosier advises imagining your future self; what actions would serve them well? For her, laying out morning clothes helps future Tamara. Finally, notice existing successes instead of dismissing them. Despite feeling inconsistent, for example, Pete already walks his dog each and every morning.
While discussing motivation, Dr. Rosier exposes thought patterns that sabotage us. Beating yourself up rarely helps. Instead, start by naming emotions and difficulties without judgment. Accept dissonance between wants and responsibilities. Motivation takes self-awareness, values exploration, and celebrating every step forward.
Here are a few key takeaways:

How ADHD impacts motivation and success
Steps to take to understand and build motivation
How to shift from self-judgment to self-acceptance
Strategies to uncover motivation blocks like beliefs
The importance of aligning actions with values
Ways to celebrate small consistency wins
With compassionate insight, Dr. Rosier exposes why motivation is so complex yet possible. This inspiring episode explores practical strategies to overcome motivation challenges. Anyone seeking to understand themselves and build motivation from within will find this a thoughtful listen.
Links & Notes

Learn more about Dr. Tamara Rosier
Follow Dr. Tamara Rosier on LinkedIn
Get the book: “Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD” by Dr. Tamara Rosier


(00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
(02:49) - Support This Podcast: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
(04:22) - Introducing Dr. Tamara Rosier
(14:28) - Separating Feeling from Motivation
(18:18) - Motivation and Self-Actualization
(26:20) - Ego and Self-Centered Worldview
(31:57) - Tying Motivation to a Value
(33:36) - Coaching FOR Nikki!
(57:00) - Learn More


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Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright aim to explore the meaning of joy, the differences between joy and happiness, and practical ways to cultivate more joy in daily life living with ADHD.

This episode dives into the essence of joy, including surprise moments as well as practices that help align us to experience joy more frequently. Nikki shares insights from a recent retreat focused on sound, music, and vibrations for generating joy and harmony in life.

Key points covered:

Defining joy as moments of transcendent happiness sparked by surprise, versus the overall state of happiness. "Joy involves changes in visual perception. Colors seem brighter, motor behavior, physical movements feel freer and easier, smiling happens involuntarily."
Happiness as a constant state, while joy represents fleeting peaks within the state of contentment. An analogy: "Happiness is a 100-story building and joy is the elevator that takes you to higher floors briefly."
The importance of letting difficult emotions move through you rather than ruminating endlessly. "Feel the storm, and then let it move through you."

Questions we answer in this episode:

What is the difference between joy and happiness?
How can we cultivate more joy in daily life?
What are tools for moving through grief or trauma to regain joy?

Key Takeaways:

If seeking joy, focus on aligning practices toward joy.
Turn toward positive thoughts, music, sights that spark joy. What you focus on grows.
Meditation, journaling, and talk therapy help stop rumination loops.

This is an uplifting episode on aligning ourselves to notice and generate more joy in daily life. Quotes like "the past no longer counts, the future hasn't been written yet" inspire us to be present for fleeting moments of joy.

Links & Notes

Learning to Learn and the Navigation of Moods: The Meta-Skill for the Acquisition of Skills
The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett: How to Understand Emotions - Huberman Lab
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(00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
(01:49) - Support the Podcast and Become a Patron!
(02:43) - Joy & ADHD
(05:55) - What is Joy?
(14:11) - Do you create joy?
(21:35) - Moods
(24:43) - 17 Seconds
(32:55) - Huberman Labs Podcast Note


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The world can be a tough place. We know that our ADHD doesn't make that any easier. But our health and well-being depend heavily on the worldview we cultivate in spite of our challenges. This week, we're talking about optimism, how we find it, and how we make it a practice in the face of struggle. 

We’ll talk about the things that get in the way of our efforts to feel optimistic like emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, an impulsivity. The thing is, in the face of all those challenges, we’re already wired with our other tools to regain control. We’re generally OK with therapy and strengths-based approaches to wellbeing, for example. 

So let’s explore mental models that impact us. These include Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset, Cognitive-Behavioral models, and Martin Seligman’s Explanatory Style theory. That’s the one that has impacted Pete the most this month. For the sound of a mind being blown, listen in. 

This episode is brought to you by Stimara. Get your next favorite fidget and engage your brain with a fidget designed by neurodiverse adults for neurodiverse adults and save 15% along the way. Visit Stimara for yours today, and thank you to Stimara for Sponsoring The ADHD Podcast!
Links & Notes

Sponsor: Stimara

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(00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
(04:44) - Sponsor: Get 15% off Stimags from Stimara at https://takecontroladhd.com/stimara
(07:30) - On Optimism
(11:48) - Mental Models of Optimism


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In this episode, we welcome James Ochoa, a counselor, coach, mentor, and intuitionist who has been helping adults with ADHD for over thirty years. James shares his insights on the importance of community in our ADHD journey and updates us on his upcoming book, "When the Shiny Wears Off: Navigating the Lifetime Storms of Adult ADHD."

We discuss the value of being part of a community and what it means to belong to a group of people who understand what you experience every day. We also explore the benefits of joining a community, such as personal growth, a sense of belonging, new friendships, learning new things, and practicing interpersonal skills.

James emphasizes the importance of recognizing that our motives for joining a new group or community are not always altruistic and that we only have so much extra time to share. Most importantly, he walks us through the power of developing your internal support group, using creative visualization to create your community in times of need.

In conclusion, James reminds us that being part of a community is crucial in our ADHD journey. It can provide us with a sense of belonging and help us grow personally. Thank you for joining us in this episode, and we hope you find it insightful and helpful in your own ADHD journey.

Links & Notes

James Ochoa, LPC
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(00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
(01:14) - ADHD THANK YOU!
(02:18) - SPONSOR: Save 20% on your first year of TextExpander Today!
(04:56) - Welcome James Ochoa!
(07:48) - Exploring Community
(11:52) - Internal Community: The Mental Support Group
(20:52) - "But, I have too many friends..."
(27:58) - Post-COVID Resillience
(36:24) - How do you become an unselfish member of a community?


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