UNDERSTANDABLE

Robert Siegers
  • 4.8 (4)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about Childhood Trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, & self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

  1. E309 - CPTSD & Dating: How To Find a Secure Partner

    3D AGO

    E309 - CPTSD & Dating: How To Find a Secure Partner

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad) In this video, I explore attachment styles, how to identify a secure partner, and the dynamics of trauma bonding. ► Links and Resources: Fear of Commitment Video: https://youtu.be/SUECZtfGkEM?si=mKymbK-Sh2jeFVD1 Chaotic Attachment Video: https://youtu.be/-BFW7lVd8Yk?si=asZKMwEpWoPtradm Trauma Bonding Article: https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/trauma-bonding/ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:13 Dating With CPTSD 10:09 Dating With An Avoidant Attachment Style 13:40 Dating With An Anxious Attachment Style 16:17 Dating With A Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style 18:43 Trauma Bondings In CPTSD Dating 21:19 Why Secure Love Feels Boring 24:05 Dating with a Secure Attachment Style 27:01 How To Find a Secure Partner 27:30 Step 1: Start To Reclaim Your Own Sense Of Self First 30:15 Step 2: Continuously Shed A Light And Question Your Triggers 31:39 Step 3: Start To Become A More Securely Attached Person Yourself 34:08 Step 4: Date Like A Secure Person Would ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    40 min
  2. E308 - Limerence: 5 Ways To End Romantic Obsession

    DEC 21

    E308 - Limerence: 5 Ways To End Romantic Obsession

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) There is a way to crush you pink glasses for someone now. But let me warn you up front: This way is not good advice, neither will it end your romantic obsession problems long term. Still, it works if you want to stop intrusive thought about someone instantly. The solution is: Get more options! Get another or even better - more surfaces for your projections of your fantasies aka limerent objects ► Links and Resources: Limerence While in a Relationship: https://youtu.be/UOZLmQkBFMM ChatGPT as Therapist Video: https://youtu.be/JRo6PgSiB3w?si=jX8TGEKH1q0LSFE_ Detachment & Letting Go Video: https://youtu.be/WUJu3dVIUZ0?si=WhQ51parSClkzTSD ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:18 Way 5: Truly Want (Decide) To Move On 07:50 Way 4: Use AI-Tools As A Neutral Mirror 13:58 Way 3: Accept What It Means To Be Over Your L.O. 16:11: Way 2: Understand What Your Inner Child Truly Needs (And Never Got) 19:30 Way 1: Be Prepared To Sit On A 3-Legged Chair (Get A Life) 20:56 Pillars Of Stability/Leg 1: Health 22:02 Leg 2: Wealth/Work 22:42 Leg 3: Social Life 24:00 Leg 4: Options 25:13 Leg 5: Self-Worth ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    27 min
  3. E307 - Limerence While in a Relationship: Why It Happens & What to Do

    DEC 14

    E307 - Limerence While in a Relationship: Why It Happens & What to Do

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) You might believe that being in a happy marriage or relationship makes you immune to limerence. But still, I’ve read the following story about limerence while in a relationship in one or another version hundreds of times online. ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:21 Limerence While In A Relationship 03:37 The Perspective Of The Partner 05:42 Why Was She Risking Her Marriage? 08:17 How Limerence Forms While In A Relationship 13:31 What To Do? ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    18 min
  4. E306 - LIMERENCE: The 10 Roots of Love Addiction

    DEC 7

    E306 - LIMERENCE: The 10 Roots of Love Addiction

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠ (Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠ (Ad) What is at the root of limerence, aka romantic obsession, aka love addiction? Ladies & Gentlemen, it is NOT just loneliness or a quirky crush. Therefore, today I’m taking you on a deep dive through the 10 layers beneath the surface down to the dark root of limerence. ► Links and Resources: Self-Soothing Through Fantasies: https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA?si=yN_lWce2OJ57hmka Anxious Attachment Style Episode: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY?si=PZijKMhWOOJiL2Tf Love Addiction Article: https://greymattersjournal.org/love-addiction/ Basic Needs: https://blanchethouse.org/5-levels-of-human-needs/ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠ ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:30 Level 1: The Obsessive Crush 04:26 Level 2: Mixed Dating Signals 06:54 Level 3: Dopamine Addiction & OCD 08:46 Level 4: Unmet Emotional Needs 11:41 Level 5: Projection: The Idealized Fantasy 16:49 Level 6: Fear Of Rejection/Intimacy 19:43 Level 7: Attachment Wounds 21:28 Level 8: Childhood Trauma/Neglect 23:19 Level 9: Low Self-Worth/Shame 25:07 Level 10: Nervous System Dysregulation ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    28 min
  5. E305 - Why You Don't Feel Seen

    DEC 4

    E305 - Why You Don't Feel Seen

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad) ► Links and Resources: Hypervigilance Episode: https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=PDm6Sk9WuPx6Rjp4 ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:25 What Does It Mean If You Don’t Feel Seen? 04:00 Introspective Perception 08:40 Extrospective Perception 10:00 Society & Culture 11:30 Childhood & Relationships 13:00 Love Languages 19:00 How To Feel More Seen 21:50 How To See Others More Final Thoughts ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    25 min
  6. E304 - 10 Signs It's a Trauma Bond, Not Real Love

    NOV 30

    E304 - 10 Signs It's a Trauma Bond, Not Real Love

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠https://understandable.net/⁠ (Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠ (Ad) Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to today’s episode, where we talk about 10 signs it’s a trauma bond and not real love. But I won’t just throw these signs at you, I want you to truly understand the background psychology of a trauma bond. This is why I take you into the roller coaster relationship of Mary. We will see how a trauma-bonded relationship forms, how it builds up, and then slowly but gradually crashes into emotional suffering, codependency and addiction - sign by sign. Plus, in the end, we will also explore what real love actually might look like. ► Links and Resources: Limerence Episode: https://youtu.be/mmNjDwdPwOA?si=kSFn2nNBgBf6Mx3k Trauma Bond Article: https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/trauma-bonding/ Codependency Series by Tim Fletcher: https://youtu.be/yesXC_ibRKE?si=r4JO6JGdscfuJU0c People Pleasing and Healthy Conflict Video: https://youtu.be/ZhExIeU3Bys?si=6pxiypHRDxaAldEW ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠ https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:48 What Is A Trauma Bond? 04:40 Sign 1: The Honeymoon Phase (Love Bombing) 06:44 Sign 2: Unwritten Rules 08:52 Sign 3: Honesty Is Dangerous 13:17 Sign 4: Gaslighting 14:37 Sign 5: Double Standards 15:46 Sign 6: Enmeshment And Codependency 19:34 Sign 7: Cause For Pain, Source For Healing 21:44 Sign 8: Emotional Responsibility 24:00 Sign 9: Abuse Escalation 29:15 Sign 10: Addiction (The Crash) 31:19 What Is Love? ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    35 min
  7. E303 - Live Roleplay: Watch Me Turn a Fight Into Connection

    NOV 27

    E303 - Live Roleplay: Watch Me Turn a Fight Into Connection

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad) ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad) In this video I show you a live roleplay where I simulate a conflict with my “wife” and try to resolve it using Nonviolent communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg. I’m sharing this with you not because I’m so good in conflict resolution, but because I’m so bad in it. I was avoidant my whole life and I’m lacking this skill the most. I’m scared as hell of conflict and currently learning this skill I think this is one of the most important skills for relationships to learn.So maybe it saves your relationship or marriage and you don’t have to run away anymore. ► Links and Resources: Nonviolent Communication Book (Ad): https://amzn.to/4ohDQIh ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:00 Why DOESN’T Conflict Resolution Always Work Out Easily? 04:10 How Relationship Fight Resolution Looks Like In Real Life 05:45 Nonviolent Communication 09:30 Live Roleplay 18:40 Learnings From The Roleplay ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    23 min
  8. E302 - The Secret To STOP Fighting in Your Relationships

    NOV 23

    E302 - The Secret To STOP Fighting in Your Relationships

    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠(Ad)⁠ ► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠(Ad) Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to today’s episode! Here’s the thing: We all hate conflict in our relationships. And it’s these days when we fight with the person we love most, that hurt us and make us suffer the most. But what if there is a way to stop fighting in our relationships? Even prevent fights before they happen? In this episode, I will introduce you to an often forgotten approach to achieve exactly that: A relationship with less fighting & conflict. Plus, as a bonus, in the end of the video, I demonstrate this solution in a live roleplay with a Custom GPT I built. ► Links and Resources: Video People Pleasing and How Conflict Heals Relationships: https://youtu.be/ZhExIeU3Bys?si=tU5VgGUQz2SaQJIK Article Michael Lukas Moeller: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Lukas_Moeller ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:56 Why We’re Fighting 04:00 The Toxic Fighting Cycle 08:49 How A Healthy Relationship Looks Like 13:15 Where The Disconnection Happens 15:39 The Real, Mutual Talk 17:41 “Zwiegespräch” Dialogue 20:50 Nonviolent Communication ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    34 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.8
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about Childhood Trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, & self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

Information

  • Creator
    Robert Siegers
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2025
  • Episodes
    325
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Robert Siegers
  • Show Website
    UNDERSTANDABLE

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