UNDERSTANDABLE

Robert Siegers

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

  1. E326 - Why We Sabotage Great Relationships

    3H AGO

    E326 - Why We Sabotage Great Relationships

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ► Links and Resources: Why You Don’t Feel Seen Video: https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=BWVNopJCfPlRKFuI Resolve Conflict With Compassion Video: https://youtu.be/xDgdKnCC1HM?si=-33iPJdOqOsvRgax ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Why We Sabotage Great Relationships? 02:56 What Is Triggering The Pattern? 05:42 Why Relationships Feel Like a Loss of Control? 11:58 Why Is It So Hard To Stop Sabotaging Love? 15:49 Is There a Better Way Instead of Sabotaging Love? ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    19 min
  2. E325 - The Ultimate Guide To Get Over Avoidant Attachment

    5D AGO

    E325 - The Ultimate Guide To Get Over Avoidant Attachment

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) In the past decade, I ended 5 long term relationships because of my commitment issues. When I met my current partner, I decided to break this pattern. In this video, I share everything I’ve learned on my journey of getting over avoidant attachment. I’ll take you through the 7 stages every avoidant goes through and give you some new perspectives to ponder on. If you follow along through all the steps, I’m nearly 100% sure you will leave this video with a huge aha and a ton of practical ideas how to start healing your avoidant attachment patterns. ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ► Links and Resources: Limerence and Romantic Fantasies: https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA?si=_eJeTGlwFcBBCBaL You’re Not Your Emotions: https://youtu.be/67QybhTEUMM?si=NLaxhT9KjecfupoC ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:51 What Avoidant Attachment Feels Like 03:59 How Secure Attachment Feels Like 07:45 Stage 1: Avoidant Beliefs and Values 12:37 Stage 2: Deep Desire for Conflict Free Love 15:26 Stage 3: Dating and Limerence 21:39 Stage 4: The Shift 25:58 Stage 5: Pulling Back 32:06 Stage 6: The Breakup 39:39 Stage 7: Recover and Reset ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    41 min
  3. E324 - The #1 Reason You Push People Away (Even If You Want Love)

    MAR 16

    E324 - The #1 Reason You Push People Away (Even If You Want Love)

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) Why do you always push away the people you love? Especially when things get close and serious? If you clicked on this video, there are probably two possibilities why you’re here: 1) You are currently dating someone or are in a relationship that asks for more commitment, and you started to push the other person that you really like away. 2) You know someone, maybe your friend, brother, sister, or the person you’re dating, who is suddenly turning cold and pulling away. Either way, it’s very honest and brave of you, that you care and want to figure out, why the reactions happen. You don’t just judge yourself or the other person, and want to look for support and real answers. The reason why you or the person you love pushed someone away is in both scenarios definitely the same. And in this episode, we first of all answer the question, what’s the main reason for this. But more importantly, afterwards we’ll also explore if there is an actual solution for this And if so, how you can practically stop to push away the people you love to finally be in a stable, secure relationship. ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:22 #1 Reason You Push Away The People You Love 07:17 You’re Not Broken 10:16 How Can You Stop Pushing Away the People You Love? 11:16 Step 1: Strengthen Your Sense Of Self 16:20 Step 2: Practice to Sense and Express Your Emotions, Needs, and Boundaries 21:30 Step 3: Learn to Stay In Relationships Without Losing Yourself ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    24 min
  4. E323 - 7 Habits That Saved My Anxious-Avoidant Relationship

    MAR 9

    E323 - 7 Habits That Saved My Anxious-Avoidant Relationship

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) For most of my life, I deeply longed for a warm, stable, loving relationship. But instead of feeling safe and connected, I was constantly triggered in my relationships. First being needy in the beginning, then panicking when things got too close. In fact, I broke up five times, leaving behind a lot of heartbreak. And I didn’t understand back then that I wasn’t “just needing space.” I was avoidantly attached and scared of commitment. But after working with four different therapists…after years of uncomfortable self-work… Today, I finally live together with my current partner, and I feel like I've arrived in a safe relationship where I don’t want to run away anymore for the first time in my life. And if I could move from attachment wounds… to building real emotional safety… Then I want to show you exactly how. ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:16 Habit 1: Make Emotions And Needs Visible 05:26 Habit 2: Stop Trying To Fix Each Other 07:53 Habit 3: Name Patterns In Real Time 10:38: Habit 4: Listen And Pause During Conflict 14:02 Habit 5: Practice Vulnerability Instead Of Protest 16:34 Habit 6: Stay True to Yourself, Even If It Feels Wrong 19:42 Habit 7: Prioritize Love Over Perfection ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    22 min
  5. E322 - Why You're So Sensitive To Criticism: 5 Reasons No One Talks About

    MAR 6

    E322 - Why You're So Sensitive To Criticism: 5 Reasons No One Talks About

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) Why does criticism hurt so much? I bet you know situations like these: You’re having dinner with the person you love. Everything seems great, but then they say: "You didn’t ask me how my day was. It felt like you don’t care." A solid statement, that kicked you out of you calm mind. In your ears that sounded like an accusation. Even worse, like a judgement. You feel criticized, at the same time hurt and offended. Your thoughts start spiraling. Why didn’t you ask, idiot? Why did you FAIL this one. You feel ashamed. Anxiety kicks in. What if they now think I don’t love them, because I forgot to ask? But then your inner guard raises it’s voice: You heat up and feel irritated. Why do they even expect me to ask how their day was? Mine was exhausting and I just forgot to ask.. Why do they always expect things from me? It’s unfair. When you can identify with this example, first of all, I’m not here to expose you. If you react like this, it’s totally understandable, because there are good reasons for it. Therefore today, in this video, I’m going to share 5 surprising reasons, why the smallest comment or criticism completely breaks you. ► Links and Resources: Self-Care Habits for HSPs / Neurodivergents: https://youtu.be/LdWEM_ZTZYM?si=15FaXVGsEMXC4hyp 10 Signs of CPTSD: https://youtu.be/nH6mOBoqCsc?si=lQiDt7xNmbtjpfpD ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:23 Reason 1: You’re Overwhelmed From Work And Life 02:46 Reason 2: Emotional Burnout 04:19 Reason 3: You’re Highly Sensitive /Neurodivergent 05:31 Reason 4: Childhood Trauma 07:32 Reason 5: Unstable Sense of Self ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    11 min
  6. E321 - Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most

    MAR 2

    E321 - Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠ (Ad) Why does the person you love the most also trigger you the most?‘Shouldn’t love with this person be easy?’Well, I’ll give you the answer straight away: It’s not a coincidence. It’s how love actually works.Your partner isn’t there just to make you happy, they’re in your life to mirror your insecurities and vulnerable parts and make you grow through them. But knowing that, reveals the true underlying question: What’s below these painful triggers?What do they reveal about us?And how can we grow through them so we don’t feel so angry, hurt, upset and ashamed anymore? ► Links and Resources: Signs of an HSP: https://youtu.be/DPrgxLzFnxI?si=NsuitgFJiHkZkgo9 The Highly Sensitive Man: https://youtu.be/8LbQhAVXE3U?si=oJ43rcTt0k5W_nyq ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:58 Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most 02:48 What’s Below These Painful Triggers? 03:03 1. High Sensitivity 05:39 2. Painful Patterns From The Past 10:46 3. Insecurities & Vulnerabilities 12:59 How Can We Grow Through Our Triggers ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    15 min
  7. E320 - 11 Love Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Before I Broke Up

    FEB 22

    E320 - 11 Love Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Before I Broke Up

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠ ⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠ (Ad) Over the past 13 years, I ended five long-term relationships — all from my side. But did these relationships really have to end like that? Or did I push myself — and the people I loved — into unnecessary suffering and heartbreak? If you’re watching this right now, you might be in a similar place. Being in a relationship that feels overwhelming or Exhausting, asking yourself the same question: Could this relationship be saved… if I just understood the right things? In this video, I’m sharing 11 things I deeply wish I had known about love and relationships before I walked away five times. And this isn’t about telling you to stay or to leave. It’s about helping you pause — and see more clearly — before making a decision you can’t easily undo. If you’re on the edge right now, this video might change how you see your relationship. ► Links and Resources: You Can’t Change Them Video: https://youtu.be/JUu4MkLvrK4?si=v_LlvgwYC6DfTuSI Stop Conflict in Your Relationship: https://youtu.be/dF2QYyxqJjM?si=-AbNzIXXBP85O91e ⁠ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:37 Lesson 1: You’re Not Struggling Because “You Didn’t Meet The Perfect Partner Yet” 04:36 Lesson 2: Trying To Change Your Partner Is Already Part of The Problem 07:10 Lesson 3: Chemistry & Hobbies Won’t Save Your Relationship 09:43 Lesson 4: You Can’t “Win” A Fight 11:39 Lesson 5: A Challenging Partner Is A Good Partner 15:52 Lesson 6: Your Relationship Pain Is Trying To Tell You Something 19:37 Lesson 7: Most Relationships Don’t End Because “They’re Broken” 21:56 Lesson 8: It’s Often Not Your Partner, It’s Your Patterns 25:17 Lesson 9: But What If Your Values Were Built on Emotional Survival? 28:45 Lesson 10: Unconditional Love Isn’t How Adult Relationships Work 30:43 Lesson 11: Why You Will Choose The Wrong Person ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    33 min
  8. E319 - Why Your Partner Can’t Read Your Mind (But You Think They Should)

    FEB 15

    E319 - Why Your Partner Can’t Read Your Mind (But You Think They Should)

    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass ⁠(Ad) ► Access My Premium Course: ⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠ (Ad) Do you sometimes feel disappointed because your partner doesn’t just know how you feel? You expect them to sense your mood, your needs, or what’s wrong, but without you saying a word. But when they don’t, it hurts… and creates pressure on both sides. In this episode, we talk about why empathy is not mind-reading, how this expectation silently damages relationships, and what actually helps partners understand each other better. ► Links and Resources: Why You Don’t Feel Seen Episode https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=dzP-tm70BkvJGPLV ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠ Spotify: ⁠ ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠ ► Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro - The Invisible Test 02:08 Silent Expectations 05:58 Solutions: From Being Guessed To Being Known ► Reach Out To Me :) E-Mail: info@understandable.net ► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    9 min

Ratings & Reviews

4.8
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others. Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours working with four different therapists, exploring what actually creates emotional safety ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions. I am not a health professional. My content is based on research & my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for 3 years.

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