The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews with outstanding guests, authors, and experts, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there (ranked as a top .5% internationally) I keep it short, casual, and focused on "what you can do about it." I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.

  1. Jun 12

    502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz

    In this SelfWork episode, Dr. Margaret interviews an expert on medical and mental trauma of chronic illness - Amy Kurtz. 194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it? Patient advocate and health coach Amy Kurtz knows this gap in our healthcare system firsthand. Having gone to 36 doctors, she was already exhausted from that decades-long effort. Finally hearing the diagnosis of late-stage neurological Lyme disease with co-infections, and getting the right treatment, her labs may have improved. But as her body began to stabilize, the fear didn’t fade. She lived in constant anticipation that her health would collapse again at any moment. It was her husband who finally named what she couldn’t: the illness may have receded, but the trauma hadn’t.  What emerged from that conversation is her book that came out this week - BUT YOU LOOK FINE (Balance, June 9), an earnest guide to get through the dark tunnel of what she calls Medical Trauma Brain: the lingering imprint of illness that doesn’t disappear just because the diagnosis improves. Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go. Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.  Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!   Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    48 min
  2. May 28

    500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse

    It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin. He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor. To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show Dinner and A Movie. In fact, he hosted that show for years – and people still recognize him when he’s out and about! But his life has moved in many directions. Since 2011 however, he’s been the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast – where he interviews all kinds of people – occasionally a mental health professional. And he encourages folks on the podcast to be as honest as they’re ready to be – about things that many have a struggle with revealing. I was honored to be on his podcast a few months ago. Paul’s demeanor is such that you find yourself talking to him like no one’s listening… which of course they will eventually be doing just that. He creates a safe space to do that within – and I found it quite a forgiving and emotionally supportive space. Something that makes his podcast unique is that he encourages his listeners to fill out anonymous surveys so he knows what exactly they’re going through – and no holes are barred as far as subject matter. And that’s where his conversations go – into territory that holds shame or fear for many. You can perhaps tell I’m a huge advocate for his work. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    46 min
  3. May 22

    499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice

    Emotional martyrdom. What is it? And where does it come from? That's today's SelfWork episode. Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their job to keep everyone around them happy. So today we're going to look at what's termed emotional martyrdom. This could be you or someone you're in a relationship with. It can sound like, "It's my job to keep everyone happy, whether or not I am happy myself." Or, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Or, "I'm not hungry. Y'all go on and eat what's there and I'll see what's left." Emotional martyrdom can be insidious, as it often masquerades as altruism but leads to neglecting one's own needs and happiness. The listener email involves a woman who was overly enmeshed with her own mom. She felt guilt for leaving in seeing other members of the family becoming enmeshed. But she also realized she might be repeating the same pattern, and asks the question, "Should she overcompensate or work on things slowly?" ORDER The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.   Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.   Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork! Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    22 min
4.8
out of 5
1,185 Ratings

About

I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews with outstanding guests, authors, and experts, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there (ranked as a top .5% internationally) I keep it short, casual, and focused on "what you can do about it." I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.

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