The Gaslight Effect Podcast

Robin Stern

Gaslight (/ˈɡaslīt/). Verb. Manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own reality. The Gaslight Effect podcast is hosted by Dr. Robin Stern, co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of the best-selling book, The Gaslight Effect. On her podcast, Robin helps listeners identify gaslighting, to escape the destructive dynamic and reclaim their reality.

  1. Aug 11

    The Five Stages of Betrayal Recovery with Dr. Debi Silber

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Dr. Debi Silber, founder and CEO of The PBT Institute, betrayal recovery expert, researcher, speaker, author, and host of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. Dr. Silber shares the deeply personal story that led her to study betrayal: first a painful betrayal by her family, and later by her husband. Determined to understand why betrayal felt different from other kinds of trauma, she entered a PhD program and began research that would lead to her work on Post Betrayal Syndrome and the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. Robin and Debi explore why betrayal can shatter not only a relationship, but the self—damaging trust, safety, confidence, worthiness, and even a person's ability to discern what is real. Debi explains the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms that can follow betrayal, including rumination, hypervigilance, exhaustion, sleep disruption, digestive issues, anxiety, sadness, anger, and difficulty trusting again. Together, they discuss why many people get stuck in survival mode, what true healing requires, and how betrayal can become an invitation to rebuild the self—not just the life around the wound. Debi also shares the hope at the center of her work: that with the right roadmap, healing is possible, predictable, and deeply transformative. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    The Five Stages of Betrayal Recovery with Dr. Debi Silber

  2. Jul 28

    Lisa Sonni on Breaking Trauma Bonds When You Still Crave the Person Who Hurt You

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Lisa Sonni, author of Coming Back to Yourself: How to Rebuild Identity and Self-Trust After an Abusive Relationship, trauma bond recovery coach, and one of the most recognized voices in the conversation around abusive relationships, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and trauma bonds. Lisa shares how her own experience in a decade-long abusive relationship led her to understand the powerful and confusing pull of a trauma bond. She explains why trauma bonding is not two people bonding over shared pain, but an unhealthy attachment formed through cycles of cruelty and intermittent kindness. Together, Robin and Lisa explore how this dynamic creates confusion, cognitive dissonance, self-doubt, and a deep craving for relief that can make leaving feel nearly impossible. Robin and Lisa also discuss the overlap between trauma bonding and gaslighting, including how abusers use tactics like DARVO, blame-shifting, and emotional manipulation to pull survivors into their version of reality. Lisa explains why education is often the first step toward healing, but why true recovery requires turning the focus back toward yourself: your feelings, your needs, your reality, and your right to safety. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.darvo

    Lisa Sonni on Breaking Trauma Bonds When You Still Crave the Person Who Hurt You

  3. Jul 14

    Holy Disobedience: Melissa Duge Spiers on Religious Gaslighting and Reclaiming Reality

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Melissa Duge Spiers, award-winning essayist, screenwriter, advocate, and author of Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows. Melissa shares her experience growing up as a fourth-generation Seventh-day Adventist in what she describes as a high-control religious system. From rigid rules around food, appearance, behavior, sexuality, and thought, to the constant message that she should not trust her own instincts or questions, Melissa explains how religious control can train a person to look outside themselves for truth, approval, and direction. Robin and Melissa explore the gaslighting that can occur inside high-control religious environments, especially when children are taught that their feelings, questions, bodies, and perceptions are sinful or dangerous. Melissa reflects on how that early conditioning followed her long after she left the church, shaping her boundaries, relationships, self-trust, and vulnerability to narcissistic and abusive dynamics. This powerful conversation looks at religious trauma, purity culture, generational control, the "ghost of gaslighting," and the long process of reclaiming one's reality. Melissa's story is one of survival, truth-telling, holy disobedience and the courage to question what you were taught, name what harmed you, and begin to trust yourself again. You can follow Melissa's journey on social media on Instagram and Tik Tok. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Holy Disobedience: Melissa Duge Spiers on Religious Gaslighting and Reclaiming Reality

  4. Jun 30

    Mother, Daughter, and The Gaslight Effect: A 100th Episode Conversation

    For the 100th episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern turns the microphone over to a very special guest: her daughter, Melissa Wild. In this intimate and wide-ranging conversation, Melissa interviews Robin about the origins of The Gaslight Effect, the personal and professional experiences that led her to name and define gaslighting, and what it has meant to watch the term become part of everyday language. Together, they revisit Robin's early work with the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, the women and relationships that helped shape her understanding of psychological manipulation, and the moment she realized she needed to write the book. Melissa also brings her own perspective as Robin's daughter, reflecting on what it was like to grow up alongside this work and how conversations about voice, power, self-trust, and emotional intelligence shaped her own life. The two explore gaslighting across relationships, generations, gender, media, and culture, while also clarifying what gaslighting is, and what it is not. This milestone episode is both a celebration and a reflection: 100 conversations about gaslighting, healing, reality, and the courage it takes to trust yourself again. It is also a moving mother-daughter conversation about legacy, learning, and the power of creating safe spaces where people can tell the truth about their lives. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Mother, Daughter, and The Gaslight Effect: A 100th Episode Conversation

  5. Jun 16

    Breaking the Self-Doubt Loop: Elisha Goldstein on Gaslighting and Tiny Shifts

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Dr. Elisha Goldstein, clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of Tiny Shifts: How Emotional Health Transforms Stress, Relationships, and Longevity, for a practical and deeply grounding conversation about how small moments of awareness can change the way we move through stress, overwhelm, relationships, and even gaslighting. Elisha shares the simple but powerful framework at the heart of his work: Recognize, Release, Refocus, and Reinforce. Together, Robin and Elisha explore how emotional loops form, why stress can narrow our access to wisdom and choice, and how tiny shifts, like noticing tension in the body, or softening the shoulders can create space between stimulus and response. They also connect Elisha's work directly to gaslighting, especially the self-doubt loop that can take hold when someone else repeatedly distorts your reality. Elisha offers a way to pause, return to the body, listen for what you know to be true, and begin reclaiming agency from the inside out. This episode is an invitation to stop waiting for a dramatic life overhaul and begin with the next small moment. Because sometimes the path back to clarity, calm, and self-trust begins with one tiny shift. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

  6. Jun 2

    Nonviolent Communication at Home: Margot Magowan on Parenting Without Gaslighting

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes her longtime friend Margot Magowan - parent coach, writer, speaker, and former co-founder of the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership - for a deeply personal conversation about parenting, power dynamics, and how easily gaslighting can show up at home, even when parents mean well. Margot shares how she moved from leadership work to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) after her oldest daughter struggled with serious behavioral health challenges. What began as exhaustion, self-blame, and a sense of "I'm failing" became an awakening.  She realized that emotions aren't problems to solve or debate.  They're signals. Together, Robin and Margot unpack how NVC helps parents shift from "fixing" to connecting, and why naming feelings and needs can restore trust, autonomy, and safety in the parent-child relationship. They talk about the difference between a request and a demand, how fear can lead parents to control their children in ways that undermine confidence, and how the culture of patriarchy and capitalism sets mothers up to feel inadequate while devaluing emotional life. Margot also describes what it looked like to bring NVC into a real household with three daughters, moving from "therapy robot" scripts to an authentic, grounded way of relating, and the long-term impact - siblings who can repair conflict and stay connected without escalation. This episode is a hopeful reminder that you can learn new skills, change old patterns, and build relationships where everyone's needs matter, without losing boundaries, authority, or honesty. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Nonviolent Communication at Home: Margot Magowan on Parenting Without Gaslighting

  7. May 19

    When A Parent You Love Keeps Lying To You: Francesca Fontana on The Family Snitch

    What happens when a parent keeps lying, and the whole family teaches you not to ask too many questions? In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern sits down with journalist and author Francesca Fontana to explore what happens when the stories you inherit about your family, and yourself, begin to unravel. Francesca's new memoir, The Family Snitch, traces her lifelong search to understand her father: a larger-than-life, mostly absent presence in her childhood who became even more mysterious when he went to federal prison. With few answers and a clear message to keep family matters "private," Francesca grew up with gaps, contradictions, and unreliable narratives, learning early that her father's promises often didn't match reality. As she got older, she stopped taking his words at face value, but the deeper questions didn't go away: Who was he really? Why did he lie? And what does it mean to love someone you can't trust? When Francesca becomes a reporter, she returns to the mystery with a new toolset, determined to follow the facts and reclaim her reality. But the investigation becomes more than a story. It becomes an emotional reckoning with hope, shame, self-doubt, and the painful pull of wanting a parent to choose honesty. Along the way, she confronts the hardest possibility: that the person she's searching for may not want to be known, and that choosing her own life might require closing the door she kept open for so long. Robin and Francesca talk about the psychological toll of living inside uncertainty, the seductive nature of "maybe this time," and the courage it takes to grieve not only a relationship, but the hope of one. They also discuss how writing the book helped Francesca integrate her past, build trust in her own perceptions, and step out of the "disease of doubt" into something steadier: agency, clarity, and self-respect. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    When A Parent You Love Keeps Lying To You: Francesca Fontana on The Family Snitch

  8. May 5

    What School Boards Teach Us About Civil Discourse with Scott Levy

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern continues the limited series Conversations at the Edge, exploring what it takes to stay grounded, curious, and connected when conversations move into charged, uncertain, or deeply divided territory. Robin's guest is Scott Levy, author of Why School Boards Matter, a four-time elected public school board member in Westchester County, former president of a regional school boards association, and former Executive Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Together, they shine a light on a part of American democracy most people rarely think about - local school boards - and why these often overlooked institutions may be one of our best hopes for rebuilding civic trust. Scott explains how school boards create a rare public space where neighbors with real disagreements have to show up, speak openly, and make decisions in the same room, eye to eye, not from behind screens. Robin and Scott discuss the public comment process, why controversial issues can intensify in the age of viral clips, and what helps communities avoid turning disagreement into dehumanization. They also explore "initiative fatigue" in schools, how too many competing mandates can overwhelm educators, and why thoughtful prioritization and better governance matter for teacher retention and student outcomes. The conversation closes with hope: what Scott sees in students, what in-person civic process still makes possible, and why strengthening local institutions, rather than pulling all power upward, may be essential if we want a healthier, more functional democracy. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    What School Boards Teach Us About Civil Discourse with Scott Levy
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4.6
out of 5
56 Ratings

About

Gaslight (/ˈɡaslīt/). Verb. Manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own reality. The Gaslight Effect podcast is hosted by Dr. Robin Stern, co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of the best-selling book, The Gaslight Effect. On her podcast, Robin helps listeners identify gaslighting, to escape the destructive dynamic and reclaim their reality.

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