The Gaslight Effect Podcast

Robin Stern
  • 4.6 (56)
  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Biweekly

Gaslight (/ˈɡaslīt/). Verb. Manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own reality. The Gaslight Effect podcast is hosted by Dr. Robin Stern, co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of the best-selling book, The Gaslight Effect. On her podcast, Robin helps listeners identify gaslighting, to escape the destructive dynamic and reclaim their reality.

  1. Sep 8

    25 Years After 9/11: Dr. George Bonanno on Grief, Trauma, and Resilience

    In this special re-release marking the 25th anniversary of September 11, Dr. Robin Stern revisits her conversation with Dr. George Bonanno, professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University and author of The End of Trauma and The Other Side of Sadness. Dr. Bonanno has spent decades studying how people cope with loss, grief, and potentially traumatic events, including terrorist attacks, natural disasters, bereavement, and life-threatening experiences. In this conversation, he and Robin explore a powerful and often misunderstood idea: while some experiences can leave lasting pain, human beings are also far more resilient than we often imagine. Together, Robin and George discuss what resilience really means, why not every painful or disturbing experience is necessarily trauma, and how people can begin to move forward when they feel stuck. They also explore the role of flexible thinking—learning to assess the situation in front of you, try different responses, and adjust as you go—as a pathway toward healing and recovery. On this 25th anniversary of 9/11, this conversation offers a thoughtful reminder that grief, sadness, and resilience can exist side by side. It honors the reality of profound loss while also making space for the strength, adaptability, and courage that help people continue forward. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

  2. Aug 25

    What Now? Chris Shelton on Life After Scientology and Cult Recovery

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes back Chris Shelton, author, researcher, consultant, podcaster, and host of the Speaking of Cults podcast. Chris is a former Scientologist and former Sea Org member who spent decades inside Scientology before leaving and beginning the long process of understanding what had happened to him. In this conversation, Chris shares more about growing up as a second-generation Scientologist, living between two worlds as a child, and eventually becoming fully immersed in the organization's belief system, language, rules, and control. Robin and Chris explore the emotional, psychological, and moral layers of coercive control, including how love bombing, loaded language, authoritarian teaching, gaslighting, isolation, and fear can shape a person's identity and reality. Chris also reflects on the moment he began to see the truth about Scientology, the long process of leaving, and the anger, grief, and confusion that came with realizing he had been lied to for years. The conversation centers on Chris's new book, What Now? A Practical Guide to Life After a Cult, which brings together what he wishes someone had told him when he first left. He explains why recovery requires more than critical thinking alone, and why emotional intelligence, trauma education, moral clarity, and relational support are essential for rebuilding life after a high-control group. This episode is a powerful look at cult recovery, coercive control, self-trust, and the courage it takes to reclaim your mind, your emotions, and your life. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    What Now? Chris Shelton on Life After Scientology and Cult Recovery

  3. Aug 11

    The Five Stages of Betrayal Recovery with Dr. Debi Silber

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Dr. Debi Silber, founder and CEO of The PBT Institute, betrayal recovery expert, researcher, speaker, author, and host of the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. Dr. Silber shares the deeply personal story that led her to study betrayal: first a painful betrayal by her family, and later by her husband. Determined to understand why betrayal felt different from other kinds of trauma, she entered a PhD program and began research that would lead to her work on Post Betrayal Syndrome and the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. Robin and Debi explore why betrayal can shatter not only a relationship, but the self—damaging trust, safety, confidence, worthiness, and even a person's ability to discern what is real. Debi explains the physical, mental, and emotional symptoms that can follow betrayal, including rumination, hypervigilance, exhaustion, sleep disruption, digestive issues, anxiety, sadness, anger, and difficulty trusting again. Together, they discuss why many people get stuck in survival mode, what true healing requires, and how betrayal can become an invitation to rebuild the self—not just the life around the wound. Debi also shares the hope at the center of her work: that with the right roadmap, healing is possible, predictable, and deeply transformative. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    The Five Stages of Betrayal Recovery with Dr. Debi Silber

  4. Jul 28

    Lisa Sonni on Breaking Trauma Bonds When You Still Crave the Person Who Hurt You

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Lisa Sonni, author of Coming Back to Yourself: How to Rebuild Identity and Self-Trust After an Abusive Relationship, trauma bond recovery coach, and one of the most recognized voices in the conversation around abusive relationships, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and trauma bonds. Lisa shares how her own experience in a decade-long abusive relationship led her to understand the powerful and confusing pull of a trauma bond. She explains why trauma bonding is not two people bonding over shared pain, but an unhealthy attachment formed through cycles of cruelty and intermittent kindness. Together, Robin and Lisa explore how this dynamic creates confusion, cognitive dissonance, self-doubt, and a deep craving for relief that can make leaving feel nearly impossible. Robin and Lisa also discuss the overlap between trauma bonding and gaslighting, including how abusers use tactics like DARVO, blame-shifting, and emotional manipulation to pull survivors into their version of reality. Lisa explains why education is often the first step toward healing, but why true recovery requires turning the focus back toward yourself: your feelings, your needs, your reality, and your right to safety. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.darvo

    Lisa Sonni on Breaking Trauma Bonds When You Still Crave the Person Who Hurt You

  5. Jul 14

    Holy Disobedience: Melissa Duge Spiers on Religious Gaslighting and Reclaiming Reality

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Melissa Duge Spiers, award-winning essayist, screenwriter, advocate, and author of Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows. Melissa shares her experience growing up as a fourth-generation Seventh-day Adventist in what she describes as a high-control religious system. From rigid rules around food, appearance, behavior, sexuality, and thought, to the constant message that she should not trust her own instincts or questions, Melissa explains how religious control can train a person to look outside themselves for truth, approval, and direction. Robin and Melissa explore the gaslighting that can occur inside high-control religious environments, especially when children are taught that their feelings, questions, bodies, and perceptions are sinful or dangerous. Melissa reflects on how that early conditioning followed her long after she left the church, shaping her boundaries, relationships, self-trust, and vulnerability to narcissistic and abusive dynamics. This powerful conversation looks at religious trauma, purity culture, generational control, the "ghost of gaslighting," and the long process of reclaiming one's reality. Melissa's story is one of survival, truth-telling, holy disobedience and the courage to question what you were taught, name what harmed you, and begin to trust yourself again. You can follow Melissa's journey on social media on Instagram and Tik Tok. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Holy Disobedience: Melissa Duge Spiers on Religious Gaslighting and Reclaiming Reality

  6. Jun 30

    Mother, Daughter, and The Gaslight Effect: A 100th Episode Conversation

    For the 100th episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern turns the microphone over to a very special guest: her daughter, Melissa Wild. In this intimate and wide-ranging conversation, Melissa interviews Robin about the origins of The Gaslight Effect, the personal and professional experiences that led her to name and define gaslighting, and what it has meant to watch the term become part of everyday language. Together, they revisit Robin's early work with the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, the women and relationships that helped shape her understanding of psychological manipulation, and the moment she realized she needed to write the book. Melissa also brings her own perspective as Robin's daughter, reflecting on what it was like to grow up alongside this work and how conversations about voice, power, self-trust, and emotional intelligence shaped her own life. The two explore gaslighting across relationships, generations, gender, media, and culture, while also clarifying what gaslighting is, and what it is not. This milestone episode is both a celebration and a reflection: 100 conversations about gaslighting, healing, reality, and the courage it takes to trust yourself again. It is also a moving mother-daughter conversation about legacy, learning, and the power of creating safe spaces where people can tell the truth about their lives. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Mother, Daughter, and The Gaslight Effect: A 100th Episode Conversation

  7. Jun 16

    Breaking the Self-Doubt Loop: Elisha Goldstein on Gaslighting and Tiny Shifts

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Dr. Elisha Goldstein, clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of Tiny Shifts: How Emotional Health Transforms Stress, Relationships, and Longevity, for a practical and deeply grounding conversation about how small moments of awareness can change the way we move through stress, overwhelm, relationships, and even gaslighting. Elisha shares the simple but powerful framework at the heart of his work: Recognize, Release, Refocus, and Reinforce. Together, Robin and Elisha explore how emotional loops form, why stress can narrow our access to wisdom and choice, and how tiny shifts, like noticing tension in the body, or softening the shoulders can create space between stimulus and response. They also connect Elisha's work directly to gaslighting, especially the self-doubt loop that can take hold when someone else repeatedly distorts your reality. Elisha offers a way to pause, return to the body, listen for what you know to be true, and begin reclaiming agency from the inside out. This episode is an invitation to stop waiting for a dramatic life overhaul and begin with the next small moment. Because sometimes the path back to clarity, calm, and self-trust begins with one tiny shift. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

  8. Jun 2

    Nonviolent Communication at Home: Margot Magowan on Parenting Without Gaslighting

    In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes her longtime friend Margot Magowan - parent coach, writer, speaker, and former co-founder of the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership - for a deeply personal conversation about parenting, power dynamics, and how easily gaslighting can show up at home, even when parents mean well. Margot shares how she moved from leadership work to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) after her oldest daughter struggled with serious behavioral health challenges. What began as exhaustion, self-blame, and a sense of "I'm failing" became an awakening.  She realized that emotions aren't problems to solve or debate.  They're signals. Together, Robin and Margot unpack how NVC helps parents shift from "fixing" to connecting, and why naming feelings and needs can restore trust, autonomy, and safety in the parent-child relationship. They talk about the difference between a request and a demand, how fear can lead parents to control their children in ways that undermine confidence, and how the culture of patriarchy and capitalism sets mothers up to feel inadequate while devaluing emotional life. Margot also describes what it looked like to bring NVC into a real household with three daughters, moving from "therapy robot" scripts to an authentic, grounded way of relating, and the long-term impact - siblings who can repair conflict and stay connected without escalation. This episode is a hopeful reminder that you can learn new skills, change old patterns, and build relationships where everyone's needs matter, without losing boundaries, authority, or honesty. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

    Nonviolent Communication at Home: Margot Magowan on Parenting Without Gaslighting
See All (106)

4.6
out of 5
56 Ratings

About

Gaslight (/ˈɡaslīt/). Verb. Manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own reality. The Gaslight Effect podcast is hosted by Dr. Robin Stern, co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of the best-selling book, The Gaslight Effect. On her podcast, Robin helps listeners identify gaslighting, to escape the destructive dynamic and reclaim their reality.

Information

You Might Also Like