Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored

Lisa Sonni

This is the podcast your abuser doesn’t want you to hear.  Hosted by relationship coach and abuse recovery educator Lisa Sonni, Real Talk pulls back the curtain on toxic and abusive dynamics, romantic relationships, familial, and friendships. This is the raw truth no one else is saying out loud. No sugarcoating. No “just leave” advice.  Just real stories, real insight, and real talk—so you can finally feel seen, not silenced. 

  1. 2D AGO

    Divorcing a Narcissistic or Toxic Partner: What You Need to Know | S3EP12

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! In this episode of Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored, Lisa speaks with Angela Van, CEO of Family Court Corner, about the realities of divorcing and co-parenting with an abusive or highly destructive partner. Angela shares lessons from her own ten-year custody battle—one that reached the Supreme Court of Canada—and explains how she now helps survivors navigate divorce, custody disputes, and post-separation abuse. The discussion focuses heavily on strategy. Angela explains how abusive partners often create constant distractions and conflicts to keep survivors emotionally engaged and reactive. This pattern can drain energy, escalate conflict, and damage credibility during divorce or custody battles. Learning to disengage, manage emotional responses, and shift focus back to personal growth and stability can be a powerful way to regain control during this process. The episode also examines how emotional dysregulation, ego, and understandable anger can unintentionally work against survivors in family court. Judges, lawyers, and professionals observing the situation often see only behavior in the moment, not the long history of abuse behind it. Because of this, maintaining composure, documenting behavior, and refusing to be pulled into conflict can become critical parts of protecting both oneself and one’s children. Throughout the conversation, Angela shares practical insights on navigating high-conflict divorce, handling custody disputes with abusive partners, and maintaining emotional boundaries during co-parenting with someone who continues to provoke conflict. The goal is not only survival during the legal process, but ultimately growth and empowerment beyond it. Topics discussed in this episode include post-separation abuse, family court strategy, divorcing an abusive partner, custody battles with toxic ex-partners, emotional regulation during divorce proceedings, co-parenting with a high-conflict parent, and reclaiming personal power after leaving an abusive relationship. If you are interested in relationship psychology, toxic relationship recovery, custody battles, or strategies for navigating divorce with an abusive partner, this episode offers insight from someone who has lived through the process and now helps others do the same. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    48 min
  2. MAR 17

    Toxic vs Abusive Relationships: The Difference Most People Miss with Dr. Marina Rosenthal | S3EP11

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Couples therapy is not the place to sort out coercive control. Full stop. But I also get why women end up there anyway, because when your relationship is messy, you’re trying to name what’s happening. Is it stress. Is it trauma. Is it aggression. Is it abuse. And when you’re living inside it, it can all blur. I sat down with Dr. Marina Rosenthal, psychologist, couples therapist, and sex therapist with a background in trauma psychology and violence against women research, to talk about that murky middle. The high conflict stuff that feels awful, the dynamics that get minimized as “just communication,” and the moments that get used to confuse you even more. We break down why language matters, why “abuse” gets debated while behaviors get ignored, and why asking “is it abuse?” often isn’t the most useful starting point. We talk coercive control, sexual coercion, threats, weaponized calm, the praise that keeps you in line, and the way power shows up through money, freedom, access, and the invisible consequences you learn to avoid. We also go into Darvo, false equivalency, the trap of “you’re both toxic,” and what actually helps you assess safety without getting stuck in labels. Real talk, lots of nuance, but still clear. You’re not crazy for being confused. Confusion is part of the system. Dr. Marina also shares where to find her free resource “Red Flags and Red Lines” to help you figure out whether couples therapy is even safe to attempt. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    45 min
  3. MAR 10

    Why Women End Up Doing Everything in Relationships with Terri Cole | S3E10

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! For years, women have been told they’re codependent. Too attached, too emotional, too responsible for everyone else’s feelings. And a lot of you have worn that label like proof that something is wrong with you.  So I brought on Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist, boundary expert, and the voice behind “high-functioning codependency,” to talk about what this word actually means, how it gets misused, and why it can erase power, context, and safety when we’re talking about emotionally unsafe men.  We get into self-abandonment, the auto-yes, the low-grade resentment that never seems to have a clear source, and the way “being the capable one” can turn into a full-time job you never applied for. We also talk about boundaries in real life, what changes when someone is toxic or controlling, and why some women don’t recognize themselves in the classic codependency story even when they’re exhausted, overextended, and carrying everything.  Terri also shares the definition she uses, why she coined the term high-functioning codependency, and the small daily shifts that start giving you your life back.  Resources she shared:  boundaryquiz.com  https://www.terricole.com/btc/ Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    47 min
  4. MAR 3

    How The Manosphere Is Teaching Men to Abuse with Rafael Gomez | S3EP9

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! The Manosphere isn’t “just podcasts.” It’s a curriculum teaching men how to destabilize, dominate, and call it leadership. If you’ve ever sat across from a man who suddenly started talking about “alpha” energy, final decision-making power, or how you “owe” him sex… you’re not imagining the shift.  Something changed…and it likely wasn’t you. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Rafael Gomez, host of Women on Men, to expose how red pill ideology repackages abuse as masculinity. They unpack negging, withdrawal as control, sexual entitlement, and the quiet conditioning that teaches men to see relationships as power struggles instead of partnerships. Rafael shares what he’s seeing firsthand: men being fed insecurity, calling it strength, and sabotaging their own relationships in the process. Together, Lisa and Rafael are naming the systems hurting everyone — including the men trapped inside them. Real masculinity is integrity, emotional maturity, and the courage to build something equal. When we tell the truth about what’s happening, we stop internalizing it. And that’s where your power comes back. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    50 min
  5. FEB 24

    He’s Not Immature, He’s Abusive: Why Narcissists Don’t “Grow Out of It” with Dr. Les Carter | S3E08

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Most women don’t stay because they’re naïve. They stay because they believe he’s just immature. He’s still growing. He’ll change. He just needs insight. But what if he understands exactly what he’s doing? Lisa sits down with Dr. Les Carter of Surviving Narcissism to dismantle one of the most dangerous myths survivors cling to: that abusiveness is just immaturity. They unpack the difference between someone who lacks skills and someone who lacks conscience, the role of power, the allergy to accountability, and the DARVO spiral.  You know that smugness that shows up when they’ve successfully baited you into reacting? Dr. Carter explains why true maturity requires self-examination, and why narcissistic individuals rarely sustain change.  Insight isn’t the same as transformation. Window dressing isn’t growth.  If you’ve spent years explaining, rationalizing, and over-functioning in hopes he’d finally “get it,” this conversation may be the clarity you’ve been avoiding (and the freedom you’ve needed). Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    43 min
  6. FEB 17

    How Stay-at-Home Wives Get Trapped in Financial & Emotional Abuse with Lisa Carr | S3E7

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! “Everybody’s a feminist… until a woman chooses to be a tradwife.” That line gets thrown around like it ends the conversation. It doesn’t. It starts it. Not all stay-at-home moms are oppressed. Not all traditional marriages are abusive. But when a woman gives up financial independence in a system built on patriarchal entitlement, the risk shifts, and pretending it doesn’t is how women get trapped. Lisa sits down with Lisa from The Audaci-Tea Podcast to untangle the difference between choice and conditioning. They unpack the unpaid labor of motherhood, the myth that “he’ll take care of you,” weaponized incompetence, and why men call staying home a “privilege” they rarely volunteer to take themselves. They talk about the motherhood penalty, financial control, emotional neglect, and the reality that many women leave marriages worse off than when they entered them — even after years of sacrifice. This isn’t an attack on motherhood. It’s a reality check about power. When your labor isn’t valued, compensated, or protected, that’s vulnerability. Go in with your eyes open. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    49 min
  7. FEB 10

    Weaponized Incompetence Isn’t an Accident | w/ Laura Danger S3E6

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You’re not “bad at asking for help.” You’re exhausted from carrying everything and being told it’s your fault. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with author and creator Laura Danger to name what so many women are living with but struggling to explain: weaponized incompetence. Not the harmless “oops, I forgot,” but the pattern of strategic failing, defensiveness, and avoidance that forces women to overcompensate emotionally, mentally, and physically.  Together, they break down how pretending not to know, asking for lists, and doing things poorly on purpose aren’t misunderstandings but rather power moves. Laura explains how this behavior shows up in caregiving, household labor, and relationships, and why it often crosses the line from unfair to abusive. This episode exposes why women’s “reactions” get framed as the problem, why men still benefit even in unhappy marriages, and why the burden always lands back on her to manage, explain, soften, and tolerate. If you’ve ever felt crazy for being furious about dishes, laundry, or childcare, this conversation will help you see the bigger truth. Weaponized incompetence isn’t about chores. It’s about who gets to opt out and who pays for that choice. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    41 min
  8. FEB 3

    Why You Didn’t Know It Was Abuse w/ Chelli Pumphrey | S3E5

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! “If it was really abuse, you would’ve left.”      That lie has kept countless women silent and blamed for something that was never their fault.   Psychological abuse is designed to confuse you. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with trauma therapist and survivor Chelli Pumphrey to expose why so many women don’t recognize abuse while they’re in it.   Together, they unpack attachment theory, personality “super traits,” and how empathy, loyalty, optimism, and a belief in repair get weaponized against women who would never intentionally harm another person. Chelli shares her own story, even as a trained therapist, and names the shame that comes with realizing you were manipulated anyway.  This episode dismantles the myth that abuse only happens to “certain kinds” of women. It explains why secure, capable, emotionally intelligent women are often targeted, and why staying isn’t a failure of strength, but the result of exploitation by design.  If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How did I not see it?” - this conversation will finally make it make sense. Here are two helpful resources to support your next steps:  1. Personality.co Test  2. She Rises Collective: A trauma informed healing community where women reclaim their voices, rebuild their confidence, and rise together, surrounded by women who truly get it. Co-led by Lisa Sonni and Chelli Pumphrey. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before  Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    44 min
4.6
out of 5
20 Ratings

About

This is the podcast your abuser doesn’t want you to hear.  Hosted by relationship coach and abuse recovery educator Lisa Sonni, Real Talk pulls back the curtain on toxic and abusive dynamics, romantic relationships, familial, and friendships. This is the raw truth no one else is saying out loud. No sugarcoating. No “just leave” advice.  Just real stories, real insight, and real talk—so you can finally feel seen, not silenced. 

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