Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored

Lisa Sonni
  • 4.6 (19)
  • RELATIONSHIPS

This is the podcast your abuser doesn’t want you to hear.  Hosted by relationship coach and abuse recovery educator Lisa Sonni, Real Talk pulls back the curtain on toxic and abusive dynamics, romantic relationships, familial, and friendships. This is the raw truth no one else is saying out loud. No sugarcoating. No “just leave” advice.  Just real stories, real insight, and real talk—so you can finally feel seen, not silenced. 

  1. 2D AGO

    Weaponized Incompetence Isn’t an Accident | w/ Laura Danger S3E6

    You’re not “bad at asking for help.” You’re exhausted from carrying everything and being told it’s your fault. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with author and creator Laura Danger to name what so many women are living with but struggling to explain: weaponized incompetence. Not the harmless “oops, I forgot,” but the pattern of strategic failing, defensiveness, and avoidance that forces women to overcompensate emotionally, mentally, and physically.  Together, they break down how pretending not to know, asking for lists, and doing things poorly on purpose aren’t misunderstandings but rather power moves. Laura explains how this behavior shows up in caregiving, household labor, and relationships, and why it often crosses the line from unfair to abusive. This episode exposes why women’s “reactions” get framed as the problem, why men still benefit even in unhappy marriages, and why the burden always lands back on her to manage, explain, soften, and tolerate. If you’ve ever felt crazy for being furious about dishes, laundry, or childcare, this conversation will help you see the bigger truth. Weaponized incompetence isn’t about chores. It’s about who gets to opt out and who pays for that choice. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    41 min

  2. FEB 3

    Why You Didn’t Know It Was Abuse w/ Chelli Pumphrey | S3E5

    “If it was really abuse, you would’ve left.”      That lie has kept countless women silent and blamed for something that was never their fault.   Psychological abuse is designed to confuse you. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with trauma therapist and survivor Chelli Pumphrey to expose why so many women don’t recognize abuse while they’re in it.   Together, they unpack attachment theory, personality “super traits,” and how empathy, loyalty, optimism, and a belief in repair get weaponized against women who would never intentionally harm another person. Chelli shares her own story, even as a trained therapist, and names the shame that comes with realizing you were manipulated anyway.  This episode dismantles the myth that abuse only happens to “certain kinds” of women. It explains why secure, capable, emotionally intelligent women are often targeted, and why staying isn’t a failure of strength, but the result of exploitation by design.  If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How did I not see it?” - this conversation will finally make it make sense. Here are two helpful resources to support your next steps:  1. Personality.co Test  2. She Rises Collective: A trauma informed healing community where women reclaim their voices, rebuild their confidence, and rise together, surrounded by women who truly get it. Co-led by Lisa Sonni and Chelli Pumphrey. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    44 min

  3. JAN 27

    Men, Accountability, and the Myth That Women Are the Problem with Lex | S3E4

    You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re reacting to a system that teaches men entitlement and then calls women dramatic for pushing back. If accountability feels like a constant uphill battle in your relationships, there’s a reason. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Lex, a psychotherapist and male creator who’s willing to say the quiet part out loud. Together, they dismantle the myth that women “don’t take accountability” and name what’s actually happening underneath the defensiveness, blame-shifting, and emotional shutdown so many women are navigating.  Lex shares how unpacking his own internalized misogyny changed the way he understands relationships, power, and responsibility,  and why men centering themselves in conversations about harm is part of the problem, not the solution. This conversation weaves together patriarchy, emotional suppression, entitlement, and why abuse thrives where accountability is avoided. If you’ve ever been told you “provoked” mistreatment, carried the emotional labor for two people, or felt like your pain was dismissed as an attack, this conversation will help you see the truth clearly.  Accountability isn’t cruelty. It’s the bare minimum. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    49 min

  4. JAN 20

    The Truth Behind the “Perfect Marriage” with Sarah White | S3E3

    From the outside, it looks like a happy marriage: smiling photos, family dinners, and church events. Inside the house, it is a completely different story. Lisa is joined by survivor turned coach Sarah White for an honest conversation about the quiet, hidden abuse that lives behind the image of the “good relationship.” Together, they unpack why so many women stay silent, protect the man hurting them, and convince themselves that what is happening is not really abuse. Sarah shares how emotional abuse, sexual coercion, gaslighting, and chronic confusion slowly eroded her health, her self trust, and her sense of safety. They talk about the pressure to perform happiness, especially inside religious communities, and the fear of being judged for leaving a marriage that looks perfect from the outside. This episode explores the toll emotional abuse takes on the body, why confusion is a warning sign, and how kindness and cruelty can exist in the same relationship. Lisa names the moment many survivors resist but eventually face: He knows he is hurting you, and waiting for him to understand only keeps you trapped. If you have ever cried alone after family gatherings, questioned your reality, or wondered why your body feels constantly on edge, this conversation will help you see the truth without shame. You are not betraying anyone by choosing yourself, you are finally telling the truth. Reach Sarah White Instagram: @echosofherbravery or @sarahjeanettteeeWeb: www.echosofherbravery.com Email: coachsarahwhite@gmail.com Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    42 min

  5. JAN 13

    He Knows, He Just Doesn’t Care. The Truth About Abuse and “Communication” w Aishia Grevenberg | S3E2

    If you have ever thought, “I just need him to understand”, the truth is, he already does. Lisa is joined by therapist and survivor Aishia Grevenberg for a raw, no-nonsense conversation about why abusive men do not change through communication, therapy, or better explanations. Together, they dismantle the comforting myth that he is confused, emotionally unaware, or just needs you to say it differently. They explore why abusive men communicate just fine at work, with friends, and in public, yet suddenly “don’t understand” when you express pain. Why couples therapy often makes things worse. Why explaining, proving, and defending yourself keeps you stuck. And why abuse is not a communication issue, but a power issue rooted in entitlement and control. Aishia breaks down how men use emotional reactions as fuel, how calm becomes your exit instead of your weapon, and why waiting for an epiphany is not the same as change. Lisa weaves in lived experience, naming the moment many survivors finally see the truth. He heard you, he understood you, and he chose to keep hurting you. Freedom begins when you stop explaining and start listening to what his behavior has been telling you all along. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    45 min

  6. JAN 6

    The Lies That Keep You Stuck: How Abusers Rewrite Reality Dr. Alan E. Godwin | S3E1

    Abusers do not just lie. They build entire realities that feel safer than the truth. Realities where doubt keeps you tethered, confusion feels normal, and leaving feels unthinkable. If you have ever felt like you were trapped inside a story you could not escape, this conversation will land deep. Lisa sits down with psychologist and author Dr. Alan Godwin to unpack how abusers construct false realities through isolation, narrative control, and emotional manipulation. Together, they explore how these story-based fortresses are built slowly, why they target our deepest need to belong, and how abnormal behavior becomes normalized over time. What begins as trust turns into attachment, and attachment becomes the very thing used against you. Alan explains why intelligent, self-aware people are especially vulnerable. Not because they are naive, but because abusers exploit empathy, loyalty, and the human instinct to give the benefit of the doubt. Lisa weaves in lived experience, naming the moment when what is true gets replaced with what only sounds true, and why survivors often end up defending the lie that is hurting them. This episode is about understanding how you became blind, and why that blindness was never a personal failure. The truth cracks the fortress. And once you see it, you can begin finding your way back to yourself. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    45 min

  7. 12/16/2025

    Why Couples Counseling Backfires With Abusive Partners w/ Dr. Peter Salerno | S2E15

    You’re not crazy for thinking therapy would help. You were taught that relationships can be “fixed” if you just try harder, communicate better, or show more empathy. But when you sit beside someone who thrives on blame, chaos, and control, therapy doesn’t heal the relationship, it becomes another weapon used against you.  Dr. Peter Salerno, psychotherapist and expert in personality pathology, joins Lisa to dismantle one of the most dangerous myths survivors are sold: that couples counseling can repair abusive dynamics. He breaks down why disordered partners don’t collaborate, why they show up as “model clients,” and how therapists who aren’t trained in pathology end up validating abuse, deepening your confusion, and escalating the danger.  Together they expose how language from therapy (boundaries, respect, communication) gets twisted into ammunition, and why survivors often leave sessions questioning themselves instead of the abuse.  This conversation is a lifeline if you’ve ever left therapy feeling smaller, more ashamed, or more bonded to someone who’s harming you. You’re not the problem, the dynamic is. Seeing the truth is the first step toward reclaiming your safety, clarity, and self. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    44 min

  8. 12/09/2025

    He Knew You Wouldn’t See It | How Abusers Exploit Your Brain w/ Dr. Jennifer Freyd | S2E14

    You didn’t “miss the signs.” Your brain protected you from them. That’s not stupidity, it’s survival. Dr. Jennifer Freyd, the researcher who coined the term DARVO and “betrayal blindness,” joins Lisa to unpack the psychology behind why survivors don’t see abuse while it’s happening.  Together, they break down how the mind hides danger to preserve attachment, why love and dependence make leaving so hard, and how abusers exploit that instinct to keep you blind. This episode isn’t about shame, it’s about biology. Your brain did exactly what it was built to do: protect you from losing the person you thought you needed. Seeing that truth is the beginning of your freedom. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Book A Session with Lisa Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    38 min
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4.6
out of 5
19 Ratings

About

This is the podcast your abuser doesn’t want you to hear.  Hosted by relationship coach and abuse recovery educator Lisa Sonni, Real Talk pulls back the curtain on toxic and abusive dynamics, romantic relationships, familial, and friendships. This is the raw truth no one else is saying out loud. No sugarcoating. No “just leave” advice.  Just real stories, real insight, and real talk—so you can finally feel seen, not silenced. 

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