Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

Brenda Zane
  • 5.0 (227)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

When your teen or young adult is misusing drugs or alcohol, you need more than just tactics—you need hope, healing, and a path forward for your entire family. Hopestream delivers expert guidance and emotional support for parents navigating their child's substance use and mental health struggles. Hosted by Brenda Zane, Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained Parent Coach who nearly lost her son to addiction, this podcast goes beyond "how to get them into treatment" to address the full ecosystem of this journey. Episodes features: Leading addiction, prevention, and treatment expertsReal stories from families who've been thereEvidence-based strategies for helping your childSelf-care and coping tools for parentsDeeper conversations about finding meaning, joy, and even unexpected blessings through the hardest times Whether you're dealing with a teen or young adult's drug use, alcohol misuse, or co-occurring mental health challenges, Hopestream offers the comprehensive support other parenting and addiction podcasts miss. This is your safe space to heal, learn, and discover you're not alone. New episodes weekly. Join us between the episodes at hopestreamcommunity.org.

  1. The Thing Your Kid Can’t Tell You When They’re Struggling, with Enzo Narciso

    6d ago

    The Thing Your Kid Can’t Tell You When They’re Struggling, with Enzo Narciso

    When my son Enzo was using fentanyl and Xanax and blowing up every structure I tried to build around him, I kept asking the wrong question. What I wasn’t asking was what was happening inside him that he couldn’t put words to. He was a teenager with an unmedicated ADHD brain, getting more reinforcement and belonging from the drug world than anywhere else in his life, and he had no way to tell me that. Enzo is back on the podcast today with something specific: the things kids who are actively struggling can’t necessarily say but really wish their parents understood. When I asked what he would have wanted me to know back then, Enzo told me about a kid he recently mentored who, when asked the same question, said the only thing he wanted his parents to know was, “I’m trying.” And Enzo realized that was exactly it. Not that the drugs were working. Not that his choices were okay. Just that from inside his brain, he was doing something that felt like trying. Enzo is now the founder of Life Strategies Mentors, a mentoring program for young men navigating recovery and reintegration. He’s in his late-twenties, expanding his team, building a life that not long ago did not seem survivable. This conversation covers a lot of ground, from the fish love parable that reframed how I think about parental expectations, to what ADHD does to the brain’s relationship with substances, to why kids sometimes listen to a near-stranger before they will listen to their own parents. That last one is not a failure of the relationship. It is biology. Knowing that changes something. If you have been watching your kid and thinking they are not even trying, this one is for you. YOU’LL LEARN: The fish love parable, and the question it forces you to ask about your own parentingWhy “I’m trying” is the one thing a struggling kid most wishes their parents could hearWhat ADHD actually does to the brain’s relationship with substances, and why warnings don’t landThe biology behind why kids listen to mentors before they listen to parentsThe one skill Enzo says made the biggest difference when he was finally ready to changeEPISODE RESOURCES: Life Strategies Mentors websiteFish Love story on YouTubeEnzo on Hopestream podcast episodes #251 and #185ADHD Resources:Dr. Gabor Mate’s book, “Scattered Minds”Dr. Russell Barkley on YouTubeDr. Ned Hallowell on Hopestream episode 99 (ADHD as a Superpower)This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    59 min
  2. 10 Self Coaching Questions for Parents of Kids Who Struggle With Mental Health and Substances, with Brenda Zane

    Jun 4

    10 Self Coaching Questions for Parents of Kids Who Struggle With Mental Health and Substances, with Brenda Zane

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: There are moments in this journey when your coach isn't available, your therapist can't be reached, and the community is quiet. It's just you and whatever is unfolding in your relationship with your child,, and you need a way through. This episode has been sitting with me for over a year, and I'm glad it's finally here. What I've seen, in my own experience and in watching parents in our community, is that the biggest shifts come from asking yourself the right question and having the honesty to sit with what comes up. That's what CRAFT and the Invitation to Change have taught me, and it's what I tried to distill into these ten questions. These aren't soft prompts. Some are uncomfortable, which means they're working. They ask you to look at your own role in the family system, your behaviors, your responses, your beliefs, because that is the lever you actually control. I walk through all ten, share why each one matters, and give you the context to use them.  YOU’LL LEARN: The question I put first, and why it's the hardest oneWhat the hot stove analogy reveals about your child's behaviorHow most parents accidentally reinforce what they most want to stopThe difference between self-care and self-preservationWhat it means to be addicted to your child's addictionEPISODE RESOURCES: Episode 263 on Natural ConsequencesEpisode 17 on Natural ConsequencesTara Brach on Radical AcceptanceEpisode 276 on acceptanceEpisode 321 on taking care of yourselfEpisode 324 with Rawly Glass on codependencyHelping Families Help - find a CRAFT trained therapistThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    55 min
  3. Letting Your Child Struggle and Choosing Love Over Fear, with Dr. Wes Robins

    May 28

    Letting Your Child Struggle and Choosing Love Over Fear, with Dr. Wes Robins

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Dr. Wes Robins sent me a text a few weeks ago, and I stopped what I was doing and read it twice. It was a piece he had written at his kitchen table while his daughters worked on an art project beside him, and it was one of the most honest and beautiful things I have read in all the years I have been doing this work. It started with four words: you are not broken. And it kept going from there. Wes has been a guest on this show before, and I have always admired how he shows up. No pretense, no pedestal. Just a real human being who has done his own hard work and now walks alongside young people and families who are doing theirs. Since we last spoke, he made the gut-wrenching decision to close the treatment center he poured five and a half years into, and what he learned on the other side of that loss is something I think every parent who has ever watched someone they love struggle needs to hear. He is back in private practice now, seeing clients out of a cool 60’s ranch house in Alpharetta, GA. He works with young people, with parents, and with families who are trying to figure out how to stay present through things that feel impossible to witness. He’s a Ph.D, but has officially taken on the designation of Soul Nurse, and once he explains it, you’ll understand exactly what that means. This conversation goes places I did not expect. We talk about the piece Wes wrote for parents, and he reads it aloud, and I am not going to pretend I held it together. We get into the difference between empathy and presence, why watching your child suffer might be asking something of you that has nothing to do with them, and what it actually means to be the flight attendant when your kid is in turbulence. If you have ever felt like you were failing simply by not being able to fix this, this one is for you. YOU’LL LEARN: The wise words Dr. Wes wrote at his kitchen table that stopped me coldHow to think about psychedelics and plant medicines when your child is asking (or using them)The difference between empathy and presence, and why it mattersWhy your child's struggle may be your greatest spiritual teacherWhat being the flight attendant actually looks like when you are terrified yourselfEPISODE RESOURCES: WebsiteDr. Wes Robins Youtube ChannelDr. Wes LinkedIn ProfileEmail address: drwes@eternalstrength.comPsychology Today"When The Map Burns" This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    1h 5m
  4. Connect Before You Correct: Breaking Generational Patterns, with Lacey Tezino

    May 21

    Connect Before You Correct: Breaking Generational Patterns, with Lacey Tezino

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Lacey Tezino grew up believing her biological mother was dead. That’s what her family told her in the ‘80s when she was adopted, and she carried that story until she was 19 years old. Hungover on just one more motherless-Mother’s Day, Lacey somehow found the nerve to call ‘information’ to see if that was true. Her mother picked up the phone. That call became a decade-long relationship that Lacey describes as beautiful, heartbreaking, and nothing she was prepared for. The complications didn’t end with the reunion. Lacey’s mother had her own life, her own rhythm, and her own relationship with alcohol. So did Lacey. And when her mother received a stage four lung cancer diagnosis, the urgency it created forced them both into a kind of honesty they had never quite managed before. They sat through chemo appointments and asked the hard questions. They talked about what they’d each been holding. And Lacey has spent the years since wondering why it took running out of time to get there. Lacey is the founder of Passport Journeys and the author of Therapy After Mom Died. She now works with mothers and daughters to help them heal together before a crisis forces their hand, matching them with therapists, building structured connections, and asking the eight questions that reveal exactly where a relationship has come apart. This conversation goes somewhere I don’t hear talked about often enough: the way our kids watch us reach for a drink at the end of a hard day, and what they quietly absorb from that. Lacey tells the story of her own Friday night ritual, margaritas that offered tired parents decompression, the moment she realized her children were watching all of it, and what they might be learning.  If you have a daughter - or son - you love and a relationship that feels like it’s missing something you can’t quite name, this one is for you. YOU’LL LEARN: What Lacey said when her mother, who she thought was dead, picked up the phoneThe unhealthy Friday night ritual she couldn’t unsee once she saw itThe gap she keeps finding between what moms believe and what daughters feelWhy, as a parent, you have to connect before you correctWhat it took for Lacey and her mother to finally be honest with each otherEPISODE RESOURCES: Passport Journeys websiteTherapy After Mom Died - Lacey’s book This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    59 min
  5. Inside Your Kid's Mind: Hidden Pain Behind Substance Use, with Brad McLeod

    May 14

    Inside Your Kid's Mind: Hidden Pain Behind Substance Use, with Brad McLeod

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Brad was 17, sitting in a psych ward for the second time, when a stranger told him about a program in Tennessee. He said no. He ran from a rest stop on the highway, and the police caught him a few hours later. That moment tells you everything about where he was: a kid who had never learned to stay, never learned to feel, and hadn’t yet found anything worth staying for. What followed was more than a decade of trying to outrun himself. Percocet. Heroin. A methadone clinic he drove to every morning with no car and no money. A felony conviction at 18. A deportation to Canada with a lifetime ban from the US. Brad doesn’t tell his story like a cautionary tale. He tells it like someone who finally understands what his brain was looking for, and what it took to stop running long enough to build something worth keeping. Today he hosts Sober Motivation, a top 0.5% podcast globally with more than five million downloads, and runs an online community for people in recovery. He started it from his basement not because he had the answers, but because he knew what it felt like to be alone in this. This conversation is for every parent who has watched their child go through treatment and wondered if anything is actually landing. Brad says something I’ve believed for years but have rarely heard said plainly: sobriety is the starting line, not the finish line. What he built after that line, and why it held, is what this episode is really about. If you’ve done everything right and it still isn’t working, this one is for you. YOU’LL LEARN: How Brad went from two psych ward stays and a felony to host of a top recovery podcastWhy sobriety was never his problem, and what the real work looked likeThe question he asks every person about the night before they get soberWhat getting back on ADHD medication at 38 finally showed him about himselfWhat it means to build a life you have something to lose inEPISODE RESOURCES: Sober Motivation PodcastSober Motivation CommunityBrandon Novak Memoir, DreamsellerThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    58 min
  6. Co-Dependency Isn’t What You Think, with Rawly Glass, LCSW

    May 7

    Co-Dependency Isn’t What You Think, with Rawly Glass, LCSW

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Rawly Glass grew up in a home full of violence. At 16, he made a pact that he would figure out how to do things differently. He earned a master's in social work, built a career in private therapy, and by all appearances was doing the work. But something from his history kept surfacing, quiet and persistent. When someone handed him the word codependent, he turned it over and put it back down. It did not fit. And he needed to understand why. What Rawly found was that codependency, as commonly taught, is a behavioral label for something much deeper. It has pathologized one of the most beautiful things about people: the capacity to be gentle and caring. Underneath the behavior there is almost always a more fundamental disruption. Trauma, even the quiet kind, interferes with the development of what he calls a relationship with self. When that gets interrupted, we stop orienting inward and start orienting entirely outward, trying to control what we can see because we cannot access what we feel. He calls it external dependency. Rawly is a therapist and parent educator who has done this work on himself over decades. He brings research, clinical observation, and a deeply personal story to a question most of us have been handed without enough context: what is driving the behavior, and what does real recovery look like? If you have ever felt like the codependent label did not quite fit but had no other words for it, Rawly Glass has words for it. You'll learn: What Rawly means by external dependency, and why it fits better than codependencyThe rotten potato story, and what it revealed about looking for the sourceThe 15 aspects of a relationship with self, and why most of us are missing someWhy self-care often fails, and what has to come firstWhat co-regulation actually looks like when your child is escalatingEPISODE RESOURCES: Rawly Glass websiteRawly Glass on YouTubeBrainstorm - book by Dan SiegelBroken Toys, Broken Dreams - book by Terry KelloggThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    1h 5m
  7. Stuck After Treatment: Real Options Parents Overlook, with Will White

    Apr 30

    Stuck After Treatment: Real Options Parents Overlook, with Will White

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: Will White has been doing this work since last century, and he means that literally. Licensed since 1989, he has worked in group homes, boarding schools, mental health centers, and in 1996, co-founded Summit Achievement, a wilderness therapy program he ran for nearly 27 years. When he tells you the landscape of behavioral health for young people has shifted more in the last five years than in the previous three decades combined, he knows what he’s talking about.  The externalizers of a generation ago, the kids who broke things, slammed doors, and announced their pain loudly, have largely given way to a different kind of struggling young person. One who is anxious, inward, and frozen. Who won’t leave the room, won’t leave the house, and whose parents keep quietly rearranging life around them in an effort to keep the peace. Will has watched this pattern closely, including at Mountain Valley Treatment Center, where young residents had become so overwhelmed by anxiety that the outside world felt completely out of reach. The treatment models that worked before are not always the ones that work now, and the gap between what young people need and what is actually available to them is widening. That gap is exactly what Will set out to address when he helped launch The Trade, a new nonprofit program in rural New Hampshire for young adults (all genders) ages 18 to 30. It’s not a therapy program in the traditional sense and if you have a young person stuck in that uncomfortable in-between of not ready for college, not ready for independence, but also not well-served by just being home, it may be exactly what you did not know to look for. I wanted Will back on the show (he appears way back in episode 14) because his view of the bigger picture is one I trust. In this conversation, we talk about the seismic shifts in behavioral health, what is driving the rise in anxiety, and why less talk and more doing might be what this generation actually needs. If your young person is stuck and none of the usual paths seem to fit, this one is for you. YOU'LL LEARN: The shift Will has watched from externalizing kids to anxious, frozen ones, and what he believes is behind itWhat The Trade is and who it’s built forWhy apprentices get paid from day one, and what receiving a first paycheck does to a young personThe over-accommodation pattern Will kept seeing in parents, and when caring starts to make things worseWhat Will leaves exhausted parents with, from someone who has been doing this work for four decadesEPISODE RESOURCES: The Trade websiteWill White on Hopestream episode #14Trish Ruggles, Therapeutic Consultant at Pathfinder ConsultingMountain Valley Treatment Center websiteThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    54 min
  8. Misreading Your Child's Substance Use: What Parents Get Wrong with Brenda Zane

    Apr 23

    Misreading Your Child's Substance Use: What Parents Get Wrong with Brenda Zane

    ABOUT THE EPISODE: I have sat with hundreds of moms who came to me at completely different points in their child's substance use, and the gap between them has always struck me. One mom is barely breathing, convinced the worst is already happening. Another is quietly telling herself it might just be a phase. Neither one is wrong, exactly. What they both share is that they are navigating one of the most consequential situations of their lives without a real map. That gap, between what parents fear and what is actually happening, is exactly what this episode is about. Medicine has always used staging to give patients and families a language for urgency, for appropriate response, for what comes next. Parents of kids with substance use issues have never been handed anything like that. We are expected to assess, decide, and respond without the framework that clinicians spend years building. So in this episode, I am borrowing that idea because staging is one of the most useful concepts in medicine. It tells you where you are, how serious things actually are, and what kind of response fits the moment. I walk through four stages of substance use, what you might see on the surface, what is happening underneath, and how your role as a parent shifts at each one. What I want you to hear in this conversation is that you have more influence than you have probably been told. There is a 94% chance your child does not believe they have a problem yet. That is not a reason to give up. It is actually the case that makes you, the parent, the most important factor in whether they ever get help. This framework is not meant to frighten you into action. It is meant to give you the kind of clear-eyed picture that lets you stop reacting and start responding strategically. If you have been operating without a map, this one is for you.  YOU'LL LEARN: The four stages of substance use and what each one actually looks like from the outsideWhy a quiet kid at home can be at a higher risk level than you thinkHow today's substances change the risk math at every stageWhat your role as a parent is, and why it matters more than you have probably been toldThe shift that moves you from reacting to responding strategicallyEPISODE RESOURCES: Dr. Anna Lembke episode Dr. Gabor Maté episodeWorried Sick free ebookThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms Find us on Instagram here Watch the podcast on YouTube here Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

    49 min
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When your teen or young adult is misusing drugs or alcohol, you need more than just tactics—you need hope, healing, and a path forward for your entire family. Hopestream delivers expert guidance and emotional support for parents navigating their child's substance use and mental health struggles. Hosted by Brenda Zane, Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained Parent Coach who nearly lost her son to addiction, this podcast goes beyond "how to get them into treatment" to address the full ecosystem of this journey. Episodes features: Leading addiction, prevention, and treatment expertsReal stories from families who've been thereEvidence-based strategies for helping your childSelf-care and coping tools for parentsDeeper conversations about finding meaning, joy, and even unexpected blessings through the hardest times Whether you're dealing with a teen or young adult's drug use, alcohol misuse, or co-occurring mental health challenges, Hopestream offers the comprehensive support other parenting and addiction podcasts miss. This is your safe space to heal, learn, and discover you're not alone. New episodes weekly. Join us between the episodes at hopestreamcommunity.org.

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